Quoting from a previous thread as don’t think it’s active anymore. Almost 18 months has passed since speaking to these people and I received a friends request on social media last night from them both, exactly at the same time. I messaged with a ? as I wanted to know what they were up to and one, friend 1, replied to say they had been talking about me and wanted to check I was ok. It’s mind games and just petty, but why do people feel it’s ok to treat anyone like this?I was going to start my own thread for this but figured this existed and it can go here, but it is quite lengthy.
Some users will have seen me post previously about a friendship circle I was having issues with. This was a few weeks ago and I’m really, really struggling to come to terms with it.
There were three of us. I introduced the other two to each other and they weren’t friends before I introduced them, so I was always the one who organised things etc. I introduced them as I was getting married and they were both my bridesmaids so I wanted them to be friends. All was well until about six months ago really. Friend 1 (who I have known the longest) just suddenly stopped liking anything I put on social media. We got married abroad (they ultimately weren’t part of the wedding due to covid) and she didn’t even like all my wedding photos. My hen do was cancelled and they didn’t make any effort for the “pretend” hen do that I had. It was crap. No photos were put online but a week later friend 1 went for drinks with other friends she barely knows and it was plastered all over social media. It made me feel crappy, like I’m not worthy or something. Maybe it’s me being paranoid, I don’t know. We had a group chat and when my husband and I went on honeymoon, it was around then that anything I said in this group chat, it just got ignored. But they would both speak amongst themselves but ignore me.
Constant little digs - I used to let my baby fall asleep on me and put him down in his cot. Friend 2 would drive her baby in the car every single night then transfer to bed. To me, that’s the strangest of the two methods. But friend 1 would question me in the group chat as to why I did it that way, but act like driving a baby to sleep was completely normal. I bought my wedding ring and sent a photo and got told it wasn’t nice and she preferred plain ones. Because hers is plain. I booked an outdoor meal in an igloo type tent for my babies first birthday and got told it was rubbish. I had my covid vaccine and got told she wouldn’t have it even if she was offered it.
Friend 1 hates her job. I love mine. She began a volunteer role but told friend 2 it was a paid role. She had already told me it was voluntary. Friend 2 suggested she quit her job now as she had another but she let her believe she had two jobs and two wages. I could have said something, but I didn’t.
I arranged to meet friend 1 one day and she stood me up. I had printed some interview papers for her especially. I rang her and she didn’t answer so I went back home. She told me it was too cold and she couldn’t wait any longer for me. I had arrived on time. A few days later she asked if she could collect the papers from me and I said I had binned them. “I would never do that to a friend” was her reply and she made a big deal in the group chat of friend 2 husband dropping them off for her instead. Whenever I asked to meet up with friend 1 she was always “so, so busy” or seeing other friends. She always made a point of how she was seeing so and so this week and how she had so many friends.
It was my birthday and we always, always buy cards and presents. This year I got nothing. Absolutely nothing. Two weeks later it was friend 1 birthday and she got a card and a present off friend 2. That really, really hurt me.
I asked friend 2 to meet up and she said we can’t because of covid. Yet a week later she met friend 1. They asked if we would all like to meet a week later and I said yes. Nothing got mentioned and I assumed it wasn’t happening. But low and behold that day, they had met and plastered it on social media. I had had enough so I asked why they had met and they said they didn’t think I was going. We haven’t spoke since.
I’m really struggling. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’ve been pushed aside and forgotten about. Since then, they tag each other in everything on Instagram. I know it’s for my benefit and to make me feel like tit but it’s working. I don’t want to be friends with people like this but it’s really damaged me. Friend 2 I met because our husbands were best friends since kids. Her husband hasn’t been in touch with mine for weeks now either. I have gone to bed for the past month and just cried. It’s effecting my relationship and I feel like I’ve been thrown back to high school as something very similar happened to me back then too. I never thought it would happen again in my 30’s. Friend 2 owns a business and I noticed she is now friends on Facebook with my hairdresser and commenting on her things. I honestly now want to cancel my appointment with my hairdresser. My husband says I’m being daft, but they’ve effected me in a way I didn’t think was possible to damage me so much. I don’t understand why somebody would want to hurt me so much and I don’t know what lies she is telling people as to why we don’t speak no more.
I have a couple of other friends but not loads. These were my “best” friends and I feel so hurt and destroyed.
Sorry it’s long and thanks if you’ve read it all. There’s probably loads more to add but I’d be here all night.
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
Quoting from a previous thread as don’t think it’s active anymore. Almost 18 months has passed since speaking to these people and I received a friends request on social media last night from them both, exactly at the same time. I messaged with a ? as I wanted to know what they were up to and one, friend 1, replied to say they had been talking about me and wanted to check I was ok. It’s mind games and just petty, but why do people feel it’s ok to treat anyone like this?
I am so sorry. They sound like complete witches. Please do yourself a favour, block them on everything and never speak to them again. They don’t deserve your time and energy
@Bobbleowl90 that’s very peculiar that they both sent requests at the same time…. 
do you mind me asking how old you all are?
Personally, too much time has passed to rekindle a friendship. However, I’m stubborn.
They sound like dreadful friends. Could you forgive and forget?
do you mind me asking how old you all are?Personally, too much time has passed to rekindle a friendship. However, I’m stubborn.
They sound like dreadful friends. Could you forgive and forget?
Total a holes. Delete and forget about forever!
Mid 30’s! You’d think we were at school!@Bobbleowl90 that’s very peculiar that they both sent requests at the same time….
Personally, too much time has passed to rekindle a friendship. However, I’m stubborn.
They sound like dreadful friends. Could you forgive and forget?
I could never forgive them. They sent me into depression for almost a year. I really really struggled. There’s much more to it but posted on another thread. She even copied my clothes and made friends with people she told me to avoid. She’s very peculiar. Last night just set my emotions going again. However, these girls have two young girls themselves and they set absolutely no example to them.
Didn’t want to read and run… just wanted to say your so better off without them
I do genuinely think some people don’t realise how their actions and words can hurt others, them being a prime example. They don’t deserve your friendship! They just want to look at your page on socials to see how your getting on without them and no doubt pick it apart, do yourself a favour and block them bishes!!! Your better than that 
They sound awful.. One sounds very jealous. Block from all social media and ignore them both.
Started a new job a few weeks ago as a part time personal assistant (0-10 hours a week) for a beautician I was a client of, for around 6 months. It’s very low-key cash in hand with no contract or anything formal. She’s always been really nice to me so I was excited to start. My main role seemed to be admin and creating Instagram posts as content. I have no previous experience but I’m a fast learner. I started work and she pencilled me in for a few days a week. During my first shift she told me that lunch will be on the house as well as my beauty treatments. I never asked or assumed but I was happy with the new perks. After this shift she started making excuses and cancelling my next one. She then cancelled the shift after that as well with the excuse that her parents didn’t want me there. After a few days she messaged me saying she’s moving location and needs to focus this with me. I was a bit surprised as I don’t drive and she has decided to move 40 minutes away. Surely you wouldn’t hire someone if you knew you were moving? She kept messaging saying she regrets hiring me and she should’ve waited. I felt awkward and didn’t know what to respond. I tried to be supportive and understanding.
She told me she could have me over for a short shift in the evening that week so I agreed. During the shift everything went fine and she said she’d keep me updated with the move. She told me that I could do some work from home every evening for a few hours and then let her know so she could pay me accordingly. I also asked if I needed to book infills in for my beauty treatments like regular clients and she said I could if I needed to. She also said she’d put me in for another shift next week. I did some work that evening after I’d left to be messaged the next day saying she’d told me not to do any work for the next few weeks as she doesn’t need me. She’d never said anything of the sort.
So I didn’t do anymore work afterwards. However, she never paid me for what I did do. Today I booked in a few infills over the next few months just so I had a spot and I turned off the deposit for one of the appointments on my account as, as far as I was aware it was now free. I messaged her to say I’d done so and to feel free to change anything around if needed. She responded saying I’d ruined the system by turning off deposits on my account as mine was linked to a few other clients. She also cancelled my next shift in the same message. Another one! I had no clue at all so I apologised and said that I wouldn’t touch the system again. I should’ve asked but I wanted to save the hassle as she barely responds to me. I know I was in the wrong but it was an honest mistake that requires minimal fixing. I was extremely apologetic. She then said that the treatments aren’t free as though I expected them? I never once expected them she just told me they were so that’s what I went along with. I’d been a paying client for a long time and never had an issue. She’s made me feel like a scrounger when in fact I’m nothing of the sort. I never assumed or expected anything I just went along with whatever I was told.
Since then she has restricted my access to the system, changed and tweaked all the work I have done (work that was completed to the best standard possible and that I’d asked for her opinion on multiple times) and ignored me completely. Is it right that I’m being punished like this for a small error? I know I should have signed a contract etc but this is just how she’s set this low-key job out and I’ve blindly followed. I’m not asking for business advice or job advice I’m just hoping my rant is justified. Yes I made a mistake but should I be treated like this when I’ve been nothing but understanding?
She told me she could have me over for a short shift in the evening that week so I agreed. During the shift everything went fine and she said she’d keep me updated with the move. She told me that I could do some work from home every evening for a few hours and then let her know so she could pay me accordingly. I also asked if I needed to book infills in for my beauty treatments like regular clients and she said I could if I needed to. She also said she’d put me in for another shift next week. I did some work that evening after I’d left to be messaged the next day saying she’d told me not to do any work for the next few weeks as she doesn’t need me. She’d never said anything of the sort.
So I didn’t do anymore work afterwards. However, she never paid me for what I did do. Today I booked in a few infills over the next few months just so I had a spot and I turned off the deposit for one of the appointments on my account as, as far as I was aware it was now free. I messaged her to say I’d done so and to feel free to change anything around if needed. She responded saying I’d ruined the system by turning off deposits on my account as mine was linked to a few other clients. She also cancelled my next shift in the same message. Another one! I had no clue at all so I apologised and said that I wouldn’t touch the system again. I should’ve asked but I wanted to save the hassle as she barely responds to me. I know I was in the wrong but it was an honest mistake that requires minimal fixing. I was extremely apologetic. She then said that the treatments aren’t free as though I expected them? I never once expected them she just told me they were so that’s what I went along with. I’d been a paying client for a long time and never had an issue. She’s made me feel like a scrounger when in fact I’m nothing of the sort. I never assumed or expected anything I just went along with whatever I was told.
Since then she has restricted my access to the system, changed and tweaked all the work I have done (work that was completed to the best standard possible and that I’d asked for her opinion on multiple times) and ignored me completely. Is it right that I’m being punished like this for a small error? I know I should have signed a contract etc but this is just how she’s set this low-key job out and I’ve blindly followed. I’m not asking for business advice or job advice I’m just hoping my rant is justified. Yes I made a mistake but should I be treated like this when I’ve been nothing but understanding?
she's not treating you like that cause of a mistake, she's treating you like that cause she likely wanted some quick and free work and is probably hoping now that she's kicked off at you, you won't ask to be paid. If it hadn't have been the system issue it would have been something else. She was already being an a, cancelling shifts and making excuses prior to the system issue. A major red flag is her saying she regretted hiring you, I'd have walked then tbh.
She’s using you and treating you like tit. Stop running up her a when it suits her.
The ‘after work’ cohort at the gym are so aggressive and annoying. Everyone’s just running and racing to get in and get out, I completely understand everyone has things to do but the aggression is so annoying.
I went into a changing room to change and tie my hair up, I was in there about 2 mins and someone pushed down on the door handle to try get in, obviously realised it was locked and stopped. So I finished getting ready and when I opened the door to leave there’s a man standing in the doorframe!! He pushes forward so that he’s in the changing room before I can even leave.
Did my workout anyway and went in to use the loo before leaving. I was washing my hands and someone knocks on the door 10+ times!!! I dried my hands and walked out and a woman is there tapping her foot and looking at her watch.
Had to let that out, I left raging!!!!!
I went into a changing room to change and tie my hair up, I was in there about 2 mins and someone pushed down on the door handle to try get in, obviously realised it was locked and stopped. So I finished getting ready and when I opened the door to leave there’s a man standing in the doorframe!! He pushes forward so that he’s in the changing room before I can even leave.
Did my workout anyway and went in to use the loo before leaving. I was washing my hands and someone knocks on the door 10+ times!!! I dried my hands and walked out and a woman is there tapping her foot and looking at her watch.
Had to let that out, I left raging!!!!!
DisgustingThe ‘after work’ cohort at the gym are so aggressive and annoying. Everyone’s just running and racing to get in and get out, I completely understand everyone has things to do but the aggression is so annoying.
I went into a changing room to change and tie my hair up, I was in there about 2 mins and someone pushed down on the door handle to try get in, obviously realised it was locked and stopped. So I finished getting ready and when I opened the door to leave there’s a man standing in the doorframe!! He pushes forward so that he’s in the changing room before I can even leave.
Did my workout anyway and went in to use the loo before leaving. I was washing my hands and someone knocks on the door 10+ times!!! I dried my hands and walked out and a woman is there tapping her foot and looking at her watch.
Had to let that out, I left raging!!!!!
you’d think they were prepping for world comps the way some carry-on. If it’s not rudeness it’s ignorance e.g. hogging multiple machines. It’s the same with the ‘before work’ cohort. I try and go at an ungodly hour and the people at that time are mostly respectful (I think we’re all there to avoid those cohorts rather than being shift workers).Need to vent about my boss.
The workload in my job is ridiculously high and I'm being made to feel like I'm not "keeping up" (bare in mind I'm relatively new and junior to the role).
My boss called me earlier asking why I've not done this, this and this. He has a way of just making you feel really guilty about things.
I've been working all hours of the day and night to try and keep up but obviously more work just gets piled on. I've even worked a little through annual leave for duck sake
I came off the call and got a bit teary. I think he could see I was cracking a bit on the call and didn't even bother to enquire if anything was wrong.
I've told them the workload is insane but I'm just told to manage my time better. I am managing my time OK but I feel like they just push the blame onto the employee, almost like "oh the workload is insane? Well then it's your fault for not managing your time".
Thanks for reading if you get this far....
The workload in my job is ridiculously high and I'm being made to feel like I'm not "keeping up" (bare in mind I'm relatively new and junior to the role).
My boss called me earlier asking why I've not done this, this and this. He has a way of just making you feel really guilty about things.
I've been working all hours of the day and night to try and keep up but obviously more work just gets piled on. I've even worked a little through annual leave for duck sake
I came off the call and got a bit teary. I think he could see I was cracking a bit on the call and didn't even bother to enquire if anything was wrong.
I've told them the workload is insane but I'm just told to manage my time better. I am managing my time OK but I feel like they just push the blame onto the employee, almost like "oh the workload is insane? Well then it's your fault for not managing your time".
Thanks for reading if you get this far....
Sorry to go on but I've just started up anti anxiety/depression meds because of my work situation and I'm having side effects and feel really low about it all. Being constantly hassled by my boss isn't helping and I feel at the point where I'm so panicky if I see his name pop up.Need to vent about my boss.
The workload in my job is ridiculously high and I'm being made to feel like I'm not "keeping up" (bare in mind I'm relatively new and junior to the role).
My boss called me earlier asking why I've not done this, this and this. He has a way of just making you feel really guilty about things.
I've been working all hours of the day and night to try and keep up but obviously more work just gets piled on. I've even worked a little through annual leave for duck sake
I came off the call and got a bit teary. I think he could see I was cracking a bit on the call and didn't even bother to enquire if anything was wrong.
I've told them the workload is insane but I'm just told to manage my time better. I am managing my time OK but I feel like they just push the blame onto the employee, almost like "oh the workload is insane? Well then it's your fault for not managing your time".
Thanks for reading if you get this far....
Going to take a few deep breaths and keep on carrying on.
I would have said you should have told me you were going to tit yourself, no need to knock 10 timesThe ‘after work’ cohort at the gym are so aggressive and annoying. Everyone’s just running and racing to get in and get out, I completely understand everyone has things to do but the aggression is so annoying.
I went into a changing room to change and tie my hair up, I was in there about 2 mins and someone pushed down on the door handle to try get in, obviously realised it was locked and stopped. So I finished getting ready and when I opened the door to leave there’s a man standing in the doorframe!! He pushes forward so that he’s in the changing room before I can even leave.
Did my workout anyway and went in to use the loo before leaving. I was washing my hands and someone knocks on the door 10+ times!!! I dried my hands and walked out and a woman is there tapping her foot and looking at her watch.
Had to let that out, I left raging!!!!!
Sorry to hear that. Easier said than done, I know, but no job is worth it.
Are you able to take some annual leave or get signed off sick?
Can you start looking for new jobs?
I've actually got a phone interview with another company with a job similar to this one so fingers crossed.
I've been hanging on as I've only been here a few months and wanted to gain experience before jumping ship.
My company has a very high turnover. At first I didn't know why, but I've started to realise exactly why people leave. It seems to be a problem in all departments.
Need to vent about my boss.
The workload in my job is ridiculously high and I'm being made to feel like I'm not "keeping up" (bare in mind I'm relatively new and junior to the role).
My boss called me earlier asking why I've not done this, this and this. He has a way of just making you feel really guilty about things.
I've been working all hours of the day and night to try and keep up but obviously more work just gets piled on. I've even worked a little through annual leave for duck sake
I came off the call and got a bit teary. I think he could see I was cracking a bit on the call and didn't even bother to enquire if anything was wrong.
I've told them the workload is insane but I'm just told to manage my time better. I am managing my time OK but I feel like they just push the blame onto the employee, almost like "oh the workload is insane? Well then it's your fault for not managing your time".
Thanks for reading if you get this far....
Before the pandemic my work situation was similar. I am part time and I was trying to do the work of a full time person, I was the only experienced person of my level on my team and so I was given the most demanding difficult work. I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I ended up sobbing to my boss in a meeting room telling her I was quitting and I couldn't handle it anymore, she begged me not to go (to be fair she is great it the ones above her that are awful) I stayed as the pandemic hit and I didn't want the uncertainty of finding another job.
2.5year later and it has all changed, me crying to my boss made her go to her manager and tell them that her team was on its knees. We now have double the people and the pressure is of me and I can work normally.
What I'm trying to say is sometimes being honest and just showing how you are feeling can make a difference
it can be hard to make that move of being vulnerable but maybe its what your boss needs to see?Thank you.Before the pandemic my work situation was similar. I am part time and I was trying to do the work of a full time person, I was the only experienced person of my level on my team and so I was given the most demanding difficult work. I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. I ended up sobbing to my boss in a meeting room telling her I was quitting and I couldn't handle it anymore, she begged me not to go (to be fair she is great it the ones above her that are awful) I stayed as the pandemic hit and I didn't want the uncertainty of finding another job.
2.5year later and it has all changed, me crying to my boss made her go to her manager and tell them that her team was on its knees. We now have double the people and the pressure is of me and I can work normally.
What I'm trying to say is sometimes being honest and just showing how you are feeling can make a difference
My boss is quite direct with me, abrupt and doesn't seem to show emotion so it's been quite scary to actually admit I was struggling with the workload.
Things seem to be up and down with him. It was only yesterday morning we were chatting about my workload and I showed him a plan I had made to tackle it, he was absolutely fine with it. Then today, the complete opposite.
I have a feeling he doesn't like me. I can't put my finger on it, but I just have this feeling he hasn't taken to me in the team.
In other news, I was supposed to be finished at 5.30 and yet I'm still at my desk.
All this and I'm only paid a little over minimum wage, it's all a bit crap!
Get paid what you're owed and get out of there. Nobody deserves to be treated that way in a job.
- Status