Stick with an only child or should I have another...?

[Londoncailín]

I’m a mum to an only child (15yr old) and I have zero regrets about my decision. We are a very happy family. I loved being pregnant and I love children. However, I didn’t think it was fair to have another child just to ‘give’ my son a sibling. It would have put me under immense financial pressure, and none of my family live nearby to help out. Everyone’s personal reasons are different but I’m glad I made a conscious decision to stop at 1.

 

[Kimberina]

I’m an only child and I don’t plan on having more than one child myself. Everyone is different but I never felt lonely or like I was missing out

 

[bringingdownthebs]

I have fertility issues and health problems... had a very difficult pregnancy with my little boy, traumatic birth and lots of issues afterwards. Lockdown made me realise I didn’t want him to be on his own. I kept thinking if lockdown had happened when I was a kid me and my brother would’ve had the best time together! We’ve always been so close! So myself and my husband decided to try for another baby and by some miracle I am pregnant now! This baby is due on my little boy’s birthday in April! So my little boy will be 3 then. I’m very nervous about birth and a newborn again and not really enjoying pregnancy again so far but I know it’s going to be worth it!!

 

[Squirrelfriend]

I’d start on the weight loss and start to feel a bit better then go from there it might happen naturally as you go along .

 

[Chedranian Girl]

I LOVED being an only child and if I have kids I would want to stick to the one. I'm extremely close to my parents and was all through childhood, had plenty of friends and I slotted into their lives so well we managed to do lots of exciting things my whole life I know we couldn't have done if I had had more siblings! Don't resent it one bit! If I have kids, I want one so I can give him or her the same quality I had myself. - At least, I'd plan to only have one, anyway! I know oopsies can happen haha.

 

[dressagediva]

Just my 2p worth but I was an only child. So were 2 of my best friends. We all had great childhoods and were never lonely. In contrast, the other 2 girls in our group who had siblings had mixed childhoods - one never got on with her brother and they're no longer in contact now we're in our mid 30s, the other has 2 sisters but they have a lot of drama. I always find it a bit weird when people say they 'could never' only have 1 child as if it's a bad thing? There are millions of only children, it's perfectly normal and fine.

 

[NoodlesToodles]

You have to do what's right for you. I'd say that asking for comments on an online forum is a bad idea. You are looking for justifications for how you are probably already feeling deep down. Whatever feeling it is just go with it.

What I will say is not all kids 'need' a sibling. You shouldnt have kids in order for them to look after you in old age, to me that is unfair and a burden on them. If you raise them right you will have no problems with them actually wanting to be around you in old age. It should not be an obligation on their existence. If you feel complete with one then that's fine. If you feel like someone is missing then have more. Society will have something to say either way.

I'm an only and have an only. We are both totally nrmal, very social and not spoiled. We are not strange or lonely. I dont want any more because I want to keep my mental health intact, I want extra money for fun things, I want a peaceful life and I'm happy with one. There is no shame. Same as some people with multiple kids love the busyness and are happy to divide their time between kids. That's not for me.

People will have something to say if you have one or five. So best to go with how you truly feel.

 

[mcfeez]

Theres absolutely nothing wrong with having or being an only child.

 

[Abcd123]

I can't have..so if you can have...HAVE as many as you CAN...enjoy

I am the OP and also pregnant! Due in Autumn. Very happy and excited and know that it is the right decision for us

Edit to say I quoted the wrong post. Sorry to hear that you can't have xx

 

[Hello Kitty]

I’m an only child and I don’t plan on having more than one child myself. Everyone is different but I never felt lonely or like I was missing out

I'm the same as you. IF I do decide to have children I will probably only have one.

I 1000000% didn't miss out on anything from being an only child and wasn't ever lonely.

 

[Crazycatty]

I only have 1. No regrets. We’re a happy family, my boy is incredibly social and loves spending times with friends. I never got the urge to have another one. I only have a small family, my mother is an only child and she said she was not bothered growing it, she got her parents undivided attention.

 

[Blueskittle]

I see a lot of people who want another kid to "give their child a sibling". I have 3 siblings and we don't really get along. Also, I am not a sociable person at all and I find it very hard to make friends, so, as you can see, having siblings haven't helped me in this way. You may think you would like another baby so your child is happier, but perhaps they are jealous, don't get along or simply have a hard time accepting the new child. I'm not saying you shouldn't have another child, just that if you have it, have it because YOU want it, not because your child "may" be happier...

 

[MakkaPakka]

I have one, never wanted more and now that he's 8 there's no way I'd do the sleepless nights and everything that comes with babies/toddlers again. I enjoy his company so much more as he gets older. And I feel like "me" again.
I'm not an only child but I'm not terribly close to my sister, so I never felt the need give him a sibling.

 

[Definitelyme]

I’m now pregnant with my 4th. I always knew I wanted a big family, and in the future that means I’ll (hopefully!!) have lots of grandchildren to spend my retirement with. We like holidays abroad etc as well (although definitely not fancy hotels etc so maybe not the same) and we fly 3+ tines a year. We may have to cut back on things when we have to pay for 4, but I don’t see it as a sacrifice as what we will gain in love will far outweigh it, and in 20 years we will be able to come and go again as we please.

I couldn’t ever have an only child, but that’s just not right for me.

My kids also get so much from their siblings, they have so much fun together, and such wonderful relationships which I hope last a lifetime

 

[Giftinghell]

Wow I rarely come on this site anymore and I have to say I am having the exact same thoughts....I just don’t know how we make the decision. Would love to hear from parents who have an only child. Sorry my reply doesn’t help you much x

Quoting myself to say we went for it, baby 2 due soon but my god the second pregnancy is harder. I’m exhausted, emotional, unfit….the first was a breeze compared to this. Excited of course, but 2 will do!

 

[openbook1]

I am an only child and had no issues growing up. I never felt lonely and in fact was quite independent and happy being by myself. It meant I got the nurturing and attention I needed from my mum.

 

[Felix08]

I think having another child so your other child has a sibling shouldnt be a reason. I know plenty of people who dont get along with their siblings, my dad being one of them.

 

[LouLou5]

I nearly only had 1. I found having a baby/ toddler so difficult, I hated being pregnant, I had PND and I was very focused on my career. I now have 4 and I'm a SAHM. What we find is that they always have someone to play with, esp on holidays, over lockdown etc. It's manic and busy but with only 1 kid it is up to you to keep them entertained all the time which would be really hard work too??

 

[Boredofthegram]

I’ve got a 5yo and I’m a single parent to him who’s inching closer to 40 now so looks like he will be an only child. I never thought I’d only have one child but I can’t see me going through it again with my current partner just to get rid of my guilt of him not having a sibling. Financially I’d struggle with nursery fees, I’d need to upsize home, change work hours etc plus going through the newborn stuff again now that we are past all that would exhaust me. I hope he doesn’t feel bad not having a sibling he does ask for a brother sometimes but I said to him what if you had a sister? and he was against that idea

 

[Tricham]

I think it's a perfect example of, you don't miss what you've never had. I can't imagine growing up without siblings, because I had a brother and a sister. I know plenty of only-children, who don't mind being the only child.. as it's what they know! There is no right answer, go with what you want