Stick with an only child or should I have another...?

[Abcd123]

We have a 3 YO. We're considering another but we're not sure.
Reasons for -
1. I l'd like my son to have a sibling (especially in a covid world where we can't guarantee he'll be able to see his cousins/friends and I don't want him to be lonely).
2. I loved being pregnant.
3. Newborns are adorable & I'd love to experience it all over again.

Cons
1. I am much heavier than I was 3 years ago so I feel I need to lose some weight first. My BMI outs me at high risk... It's not just slightly over its WELL over the 40.
2. I am mid 30's and it feels too old. No disrespect to older mother's but I am tired and worn out with 1 (this is possibly due to my weight though).
3. I have a demanding job & my son 'slots in', I'm not sure another child would...this sort of relates to the being knackered con!
4. I enjoy frequent holidays abroad, weekly meals out and a 'nice lifestyle' (not as much during covid)...A second child would be costly and we'd have to give that up...

I'd love to hear from only child parents who decided to stick with 1... And parents who had more children and why? Xx

 

[Giftinghell]

Wow I rarely come on this site anymore and I have to say I am having the exact same thoughts....I just don’t know how we make the decision. Would love to hear from parents who have an only child. Sorry my reply doesn’t help you much x

 

[Linda La Hughes]

I feel the same !!

 

[Harloe1990]

Having a sibling would be really good for you're child. I would never have just 1 child but that's just me

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I knew I wanted more than one child. However, I didnt plan on having two kids a year apart 2 under 2 was savage, so thats put me off ever having more. My two are very close though, and when theyre not fighting (sterotypical boys!), they are very sweet together. They miss each other, and dont know life without one another. I am from a big family, so being an only child is quite alien to me. Whereas my partner is an only child and cant hack the noise and chaos of my bigger family

Do you think you would regret not having another?

 

[Giftinghell]

Having a sibling would be really good for you're child. I would never have just 1 child but that's just me

This is my biggest driver, but on the other hand I also feel my daughter is extremely happy, so socialised by nursery/school, friends and cousins....if we were to struggle, would we risk her happiness (albeit maybe temporarily during the baby years)

 

[Squirrelfriend]

I’d start on the weight loss and start to feel a bit better then go from there it might happen naturally as you go along .

 

[Lanie]

I have two boys. It's not as bad as you think. My two have a 3.5 year age gap and they get on most of the time and play with each other well. It does cost more than one but you can make it cheaper by doing things like handing down clothing and toys etc.
It's personal choice though, one you should really think about and ensure you are doing what's best for you.

 

[Definitelyme]

I’m now pregnant with my 4th. I always knew I wanted a big family, and in the future that means I’ll (hopefully!!) have lots of grandchildren to spend my retirement with. We like holidays abroad etc as well (although definitely not fancy hotels etc so maybe not the same) and we fly 3+ tines a year. We may have to cut back on things when we have to pay for 4, but I don’t see it as a sacrifice as what we will gain in love will far outweigh it, and in 20 years we will be able to come and go again as we please.

I couldn’t ever have an only child, but that’s just not right for me.

My kids also get so much from their siblings, they have so much fun together, and such wonderful relationships which I hope last a lifetime

 

[Linda La Hughes]

I never wanted my daughter to be an only child but i also didn’t expect to be a slightly older mum with mild fertility problems.

I always find so many cons to not have another but the main pros are that i would love the heck out of it and also that my daughter would have a sibling for company

 

[LouLou5]

I nearly only had 1. I found having a baby/ toddler so difficult, I hated being pregnant, I had PND and I was very focused on my career. I now have 4 and I'm a SAHM. What we find is that they always have someone to play with, esp on holidays, over lockdown etc. It's manic and busy but with only 1 kid it is up to you to keep them entertained all the time which would be really hard work too??

 

[bringingdownthebs]

I have fertility issues and health problems... had a very difficult pregnancy with my little boy, traumatic birth and lots of issues afterwards. Lockdown made me realise I didn’t want him to be on his own. I kept thinking if lockdown had happened when I was a kid me and my brother would’ve had the best time together! We’ve always been so close! So myself and my husband decided to try for another baby and by some miracle I am pregnant now! This baby is due on my little boy’s birthday in April! So my little boy will be 3 then. I’m very nervous about birth and a newborn again and not really enjoying pregnancy again so far but I know it’s going to be worth it!!

 

[Linda La Hughes]

I have fertility issues and health problems... had a very difficult pregnancy with my little boy, traumatic birth and lots of issues afterwards. Lockdown made me realise I didn’t want him to be on his own. I kept thinking if lockdown had happened when I was a kid me and my brother would’ve had the best time together! We’ve always been so close! So myself and my husband decided to try for another baby and by some miracle I am pregnant now! This baby is due on my little boy’s birthday in April! So my little boy will be 3 then. I’m very nervous about birth and a newborn again and not really enjoying pregnancy again so far but I know it’s going to be worth it!!

Congratulations

 

[bringingdownthebs]

Congratulations

thank you!

 

[barryjones]

I have an 18 month old and we thought we'd definitely want a second but now we're leaning the other way. We're mid 30's so would have to realistically get a move on if we want another but the thought of the newborn stage whilst looking after a toddler seems disastrous. I know it's not cos so many people do it but at the moment we're so happy in our little bubble of 3 I don't want to try for another and potentially add loads of stress.

Maybe when he's a bit older I will think differently but then I might be a bit old! Who knows.

 

[Kimberina]

I’m an only child and I don’t plan on having more than one child myself. Everyone is different but I never felt lonely or like I was missing out

 

[Londoncailín]

I’m a mum to an only child (15yr old) and I have zero regrets about my decision. We are a very happy family. I loved being pregnant and I love children. However, I didn’t think it was fair to have another child just to ‘give’ my son a sibling. It would have put me under immense financial pressure, and none of my family live nearby to help out. Everyone’s personal reasons are different but I’m glad I made a conscious decision to stop at 1.

 

[bubbadabut]

My husband is an only child and he absolutely hated it. He resented his parents for it and found childhood and in particular family holidays very dull. He had no cousins or relatives of the same age nearby and felt he missed out on a lot of things. That's just his experience though and I get that everyone is different. He always said he wanted a big family as a result of how he felt as a child. We have 4 kids now. I say go for it. I loathed being pregnant so if you enjoyed it, why not?

 

[Shivers]

I had a difficult pregnancy, severe hyperemesis, an emergency c section and have found having a baby/toddler completely exhausting and overwhelming with no support and obviously COVID in the mix too.

But we will 100% be trying for another someday. Maybe in 2-3 years as we would really need to be in a bigger house. I’m thinking around the time my current little one is in preschool. The reason being I was an only child and absolutely hated it. So lonely and I definitely think had an effect on me becoming so used to my own company I’ve really struggled to maintain friendships. I’m also hoping maybe next time I can enjoy the pregnancy and newborn days a bit more but no guarantees there I know.

 

[Tlyfe]

I have a nearly 2 year old and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I was adamant he’d be the only child but here we are, took us by surprise but can’t wait for my little boy to have someone to play with and seeing them grow together