Stick with an only child or should I have another...?

[Notworthy]

I’m an only child, not through my parents choice and I hated it. Our daughter is an only child, again not through our choice and she loves it! She now has three children….and I now know why the Lord only blessed me with one . I adore all three of them but it would’ve been short odds on who would’ve killed who first!! Good luck and lots of love, whatever you decide

My Mum was an only child so had 4, I obviously was 1 of those 4 and I had 1 as I wanted to give my child the time and attention that I never got. Out of the those 4, I have 1 child, y sister has 2 and the others have none. Maybe my Son will have 4 and repeat the cycle

 

[mrsshim62]

I’m an only child, not through my parents choice and I hated it. Our daughter is an only child, again not through our choice and she loves it! She now has three children….and I now know why the Lord only blessed me with one . I adore all three of them but it would’ve been short odds on who would’ve killed who first!! Good luck and lots of love, whatever you decide

 

[Abcd123]

I’d start on the weight loss and start to feel a bit better then go from there it might happen naturally as you go along .

Thank you this is my plan xx

 

[bubbadabut]

My husband is an only child and he absolutely hated it. He resented his parents for it and found childhood and in particular family holidays very dull. He had no cousins or relatives of the same age nearby and felt he missed out on a lot of things. That's just his experience though and I get that everyone is different. He always said he wanted a big family as a result of how he felt as a child. We have 4 kids now. I say go for it. I loathed being pregnant so if you enjoyed it, why not?

 

[Shivers]

I had a difficult pregnancy, severe hyperemesis, an emergency c section and have found having a baby/toddler completely exhausting and overwhelming with no support and obviously COVID in the mix too.

But we will 100% be trying for another someday. Maybe in 2-3 years as we would really need to be in a bigger house. I’m thinking around the time my current little one is in preschool. The reason being I was an only child and absolutely hated it. So lonely and I definitely think had an effect on me becoming so used to my own company I’ve really struggled to maintain friendships. I’m also hoping maybe next time I can enjoy the pregnancy and newborn days a bit more but no guarantees there I know.

 

[HankMcPrank]

I was an only child. I begged my mum for a sibling even when I was early teens & I always said if I was to have children I would never just have one.

I have three & I’m happy.

 

[SunshineDreamer]

I have 3 children, but whether to stick with 1 or have multiple children was taken out of my hands in my first pregnancy as I received a 2 for 1 offer in the form of twins - that being said I’d always imagined having more than 1 as I come from a big family.

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I agree 0-1 is a massive shift, life changing. But personally I think I found 2-3 harder because the number of children I had suddenly exceeded my number of hands

Haha yeah there was a realisation that we no longer had a child each to deal with when out but my two were older when my third was born so that's possibly why it was easier

 

[veryfondoftea]

I have one child - an almost 8 year old daughter. My husband and I always said we only wanted one child and still stand by that. I have fleeting moments of broodiness (I loved being pregnant) and my daughter occasionally says she would like a sibling which makes me feel guilty. However, I have a brother who is three years younger than me and we didn’t get on until I was in my mid20s. Now we have a great relationship.
I can’t lie that sometimes I wish my daughter had a sibling to play with, when I can’t be bothered mostly. I try and get round that by being open to her having friends round when she asks, encouraging her to play by herself sometimes and when she’s older, we’d be happy to take a friend with us on on holiday too. She’s really sociable but one downside I would say is that because at home she doesn’t have to share, she can be very bossy and because we tend to go along with it, she can be like that with friends too and not understand about letting others have a look in I guess. It’s something we’re working on!

 

[Ineedmorecoffee]

Congratulations!

 

[Linda La Hughes]

I feel the same !!

 

[Platypusfattypus]

I have two boys aged 5 and nearly 2. I never wanted a third, but my only sibling has recently moved away and it has triggered me to want a third! I kind of feel like an only child. I also look after the elderly and as crazy as it sounds it’s a lot of pressure for only children to look after their parents, which realistically when my parents are old it will be all on me as I live close to them. Can anyone tell me that had 3 children what the transition was like is it a good/bad idea? Our wedding has been cancelled for next year so we are getting married in 2022. If I get pregnant after my wedding I will be 32, my partner 30.

I had quite a gap between my second and third so having a baby again was fun but to be honest it was just fine. I found 0-1 the hardest transition, 1-2 and 2-3 were easy in comparison. Just another one to add to the chaos

 

[Chewingthefat]

I have just had my second child at the age of 38, it’s not old these days. There’s a 4 year age gap between my two. It’s been so lovely having the newborn stage again. I also think it’s good for your little one to have someone else he can call family just in case god forbid anything ever happened to you, he’s got someone close.

 

[Rosie878]

I’m an only child myself and there are positives and negatives to it. I think you tend to have a special bond with you parents but it can be difficult how intense that is- I very much felt all their eggs were in one basket! I found it lonely because my dad was in the forces - we moved around a lot - and I didn’t have cousins or anything nearby. I think if life had been a bit more consistent I’d have found making friends easier - it wasn’t necessarily because I was missing a sibling.

I have a 4 year old and I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I had a miscarriage last year and that definitely made me realise how much I wanted another baby.

I’d focus on getting into a good place health wise and then revisit the idea. In hindsight, I wasn’t mentally in the right place for another when I got pregnant last year whereas this time round I really took care of myself beforehand.

 

[dressagediva]

This sways me towards having more than one. Newborns and toddlers and even young kids are all-consuming, they will love you no matter what. When the kids get older and start pulling away from their parents I imagine that's when you might regret having only one. I have family friends with an only child. She rarely spends Christmas day with her parents and she may not have kids of her own, whilst they're desperate to be grandparents. They've put all their eggs in one basket. Writing that out, it sounds selfish, but the decision to have kids or not always involves personal considerations.

That does sound selfish. Do people really have more than one child to increase the chances of having grandchildren?! As an only child who got my tubes tied as soon as I could, I'm glad my parents (who I do spend Christmas with!!) don't think like that.

 

[Am49704]

I'm 30 been with my partner for 7 years but we don't yet have any children yet. I was an only child up to the age of eleven and I did find it quite lonely as my mum was an only child so I also never had any cousins to play with growing up. I always thought I would like 2 or 3 kids but as I'm getting older and I don't plan on starting a family for a few years yet I'm thinking it might not be possible to have more than 1.
I would also love to have my own child and then maybe adopt after that.

 

[Linda La Hughes]

I have fertility issues and health problems... had a very difficult pregnancy with my little boy, traumatic birth and lots of issues afterwards. Lockdown made me realise I didn’t want him to be on his own. I kept thinking if lockdown had happened when I was a kid me and my brother would’ve had the best time together! We’ve always been so close! So myself and my husband decided to try for another baby and by some miracle I am pregnant now! This baby is due on my little boy’s birthday in April! So my little boy will be 3 then. I’m very nervous about birth and a newborn again and not really enjoying pregnancy again so far but I know it’s going to be worth it!!

Congratulations

 

[Sally1993]

I think it’s quite sad when children have no siblings. Yes their parents can entertain them at home, but it must be pretty quiet at home for the most-part.

 

[Tlyfe]

I have a nearly 2 year old and currently 23 weeks pregnant. I was adamant he’d be the only child but here we are, took us by surprise but can’t wait for my little boy to have someone to play with and seeing them grow together

 

[Imainlylurk]

That does sound selfish. Do people really have more than one child to increase the chances of having grandchildren?! As an only child who got my tubes tied as soon as I could, I'm glad my parents (who I do spend Christmas with!!) don't think like that.

But my point is that selfish decisions always enter into our considerations whether or not to have kids. That's a good thing to be honest, a parent who thought of themselves as a selfless martyr to their children would be insufferable. I doubt people think in such black and white terms but something I've wondered is whether only children are more likely to have pressure (conscious or not) put on them because they are an only child - whether that's to visit at Christmas, to have children, or to care for elderly parents. That's one of the things to factor into the decision of whether to have more than one child, but it's certainly not the only thing.