I think I’ve worked out whilst Stacey has locked herself in the bedsit with the Opal Fruit; it’s because of Tango Man!
Pray let me explain. It’s recently come to my attention that slowly and insidiously over the past couple of weeks Joe Fricking Swash has been creeping into my life and I can tell you now, I’m not liking it! If he’s not on the radio when I’m getting ready in the morning, he’s on the TV when I get home of an evening and I’m trying to unwind, and quite frankly, even if I was going to shop in Studio before, I certainly wouldn’t now!
I thought I was quite a tolerant person but a couple seconds of his annoying mockney squawking has me in a murderous mood, so Lord knows how anyone would cope having to experience that on a regular basis.
Now I know you’re all dying to know how I came to this epiphany and what brought on this sudden revelation which helped me see the light as to why Stacey has barricaded herself away from the ginger irritant she’s decided to shack up with… so here it is; Instagram! Anyone who’s following him will be exposed to what I have, and I quote:
‘I like my spuds chipped, roasted, mashed up. I’m a spud man…’
HIS VOICE!! It’s like nails down a chalkboard, there’s nothing like it, he couldn’t be a lot more annoying if he tried; that voice could strip paint I tell you!
So, that got me thinking; if I had the choice between locking myself away in a room doing nothing more than staring at a baby or spending time with that squeaking, squawking, irritating, ginger half wit, then well, baby-staring it is.
Joe Squash has a lot to answer for I tell you!!