Slopalong #3 She doesn't understand beans

[Knit one Pearl one]

Sardinesca! Bit later than intended - sorry!

The mashed sardines looked very similar to the gunk that's recently been dropped on I'm A Celeb's Matt Hancock. The smell . A before and after picture of the sauce - it was still watery after 30 mins. And salty. I continued cooking for a further 15mins which helped, a little.

Jack didn't say whether to drain the sardines, but looking at the gloop in the tin, I did. She also didn't indicate whether a lid should be used during the simmering stage. I used a splatter guard. I didn't relish the thought of eau de sardine permeating the grouting.

It tasted vile. The sardines where overwhelming. It was so slimey in the mouth. The finished product is one serving.

Mr Knit asked me to rinse the pasta.

I had all of the ingredients bar the sardines which cost 43p each - @That Forensic Man, if you'd like full costings, let me know.

It's another 1 from me.

I've donated £50 of products to The Hygiene Bank.

Nutritional values per serving:

Spoiler: Nutritional Values

 

[HotesTilaire]

Cover it with custard,

 

[Captainmouse]

Here is my mea culpa, ninnies. I’m condemned to wasting food in the form of Chicken Liver Bolognaise. I haven’t made it yet because I can’t find any sodding chicken livers anywhere near. I have just remembered that there is a farm shop / butchery about 12 miles away but I’m not driving there just for chicken livers so will wait for a bit (until pay day) when I can pick up some other stuff for Christmas as well. Watch this space / bin.

Not sure where you are dear heart, but Tesco, sainsburys, Asda M&S all list then and Waitrose does frozen @80p fresh slightly more

 

[threetintender]

Not sure where you are dear heart, but Tesco, sainsburys, Asda M&S all list then and Waitrose does frozen @80p fresh slightly more

I’m in the arse end of nowhere with a Coop and a tiny Tesco and an Aldi the only nearby shops. Thank you tender darling for the signposting though xxx

 

[Slop n slide]

Cover it with custard,

I’ve got some if you need it

 

[Charitas]

Sardinesca! Bit later than intended - sorry!

The mashed sardines looked very similar to the gunk that's recently been dropped on I'm A Celeb's Matt Hancock. The smell . A before and after picture of the sauce - it was still watery after 30 mins. And salty. I continued cooking for a further 15mins which helped, a little.

Jack didn't say whether to drain the sardines, but looking at the gloop in the tin, I did. She also didn't indicate whether a lid should be used during the simmering stage. I used a splatter guard. I didn't relish the thought of eau de sardine permeating the grouting.

It tasted vile. The sardines where overwhelming. It was so slimey in the mouth. The finished product is one serving.

Mr Knit asked me to rinse the pasta.

I had all of the ingredients bar the sardines which cost 43p each - @That Forensic Man, if you'd like full costings, let me know.

It's another 1 from me.

I've donated £50 of products to The Hygiene Bank.

Nutritional values per serving:

Spoiler: Nutritional Values

View attachment 1733890

I get let's make a cheaper version of puttenesca but why leave out the garlic and chilli. Maybe the capers can be left out . Not sure it is any cheaper as you'd only need a few anchovies. Why am I trying to make sense of this.
Am also wondering if she tweaked a steamed pud recipe for tea lemon sponge and subbed zest and juice for bottled juiced. The not tea though earl grey and lemon cake sounds interesting

 

[hoopdedoo]

I get let's make a cheaper version of puttenesca but why leave out the garlic and chilli. Maybe the capers can be left out . Not sure it is any cheaper as you'd only need a few anchovies. Why am I trying to make sense of this.

That's what I was wondering. Puttanesca is pretty cheap already - even just a tomato, garlic, capers and olives sauce is tasty. And capers can be used in many other recipes, so if you have to buy a bottle or jar of them, it's not a waste.

 

[Lostcat]

That's what I was wondering. Puttanesca is pretty cheap already - even just a tomato, garlic, capers and olives sauce is tasty. And capers can be used in many other recipes, so if you have to buy a bottle or jar of them, it's not a waste.

Puttanesca literally means "in the style of a prostitute" in Italian, ie, the sauce is cheap, easy and quick.

(no, seriously, Italians use the word "puta", meaning prostitute, as a sort of all purpose profanity, so pasta alla puttanesca essentially translates to "pasta with crappy odds and ends thrown into it")

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Perhaps you could turn the cake into the base for a trifle? Would probably transform into something reasonably with kirsch/whisky poured onto it, then custard and more fruits?

And gold spray?

 

[House of Carbonara]

Shades of Dwarf Battle Bread...

We already know she bakes perfect Battle Yorkshires.

 

[HotesTilaire]

We already know she bakes perfect Battle Yorkshires.

she is smol…

 

[House of Carbonara]

Puttanesca literally means "in the style of a prostitute" in Italian, ie, the sauce is cheap, easy and quick.

(no, seriously, Italians use the word "puta", meaning prostitute, as a sort of all purpose profanity, so pasta alla puttanesca essentially translates to "pasta with crappy odds and ends thrown into it")

Er... I was born way south of the border (🔺️), and the story I was told was that it was the lunch of the cuckholded husband (that and a frying steak), because it took no time to cook.
Got me a boyfriend by cooking that (many years before DH), he couldn't believe I could make a sauce with all of his favourite things in it. Husband was *mine* from the first time I made Carbonara for him.

 

[NellieBoo]

Sardinesca! Bit later than intended - sorry!

The mashed sardines looked very similar to the gunk that's recently been dropped on I'm A Celeb's Matt Hancock. The smell . A before and after picture of the sauce - it was still watery after 30 mins. And salty. I continued cooking for a further 15mins which helped, a little.

Jack didn't say whether to drain the sardines, but looking at the gloop in the tin, I did. She also didn't indicate whether a lid should be used during the simmering stage. I used a splatter guard. I didn't relish the thought of eau de sardine permeating the grouting.

It tasted vile. The sardines where overwhelming. It was so slimey in the mouth. The finished product is one serving.

Mr Knit asked me to rinse the pasta.

I had all of the ingredients bar the sardines which cost 43p each - @That Forensic Man, if you'd like full costings, let me know.

It's another 1 from me.

I've donated £50 of products to The Hygiene Bank.

Nutritional values per serving:

Spoiler: Nutritional Values

View attachment 1733890

Lordy. This is my worst food nightmare and I'll eat chitterlings. Why can't she just eat tinned fish mashed on toast like a normal person?

 

[Potatoes O’Houlihan]

As a sardines slop solidarity frau, I think I got off very lightly with my rillettes recipe...that 'Sardinesca' looks horrendous

 

[klarakluckbag]

Puttanesca literally means "in the style of a prostitute" in Italian, ie, the sauce is cheap, easy and quick.

(no, seriously, Italians use the word "puta", meaning prostitute, as a sort of all purpose profanity, so pasta alla puttanesca essentially translates to "pasta with crappy odds and ends thrown into it")

My mate taught me how to make this years ago, I think Nigella calls it "Sluts Spaghetti" (didn't she tweet the recipe as a dig at her ex's new girlfriend? ) and I've always got anchovies (around £1/tin I think?) and a bag of cheapo black olives in my cupboard so that I can knock this up if I need a meal in a hurry. I use capers if I have them, I've thrown mushrooms, spring onions, courgettes and whatever into it, this recipe is already cheap and easy, if I can cook it, anyone can. How can she mess it up so badly?

 

[Thank(space)you]

A kind friend (yes seriously) gave me a bombay bad boy pot noodle and jar of peanut butter as a joke because they know about the jack threads and this one and deemed it Jack's probable nicest "recipe"

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

My mate taught me how to make this years ago, I think Nigella calls it "Sluts Spaghetti" (didn't she tweet the recipe as a dig at her ex's new girlfriend? ) and I've always got anchovies (around £1/tin I think?) and a bag of cheapo black olives in my cupboard so that I can knock this up if I need a meal in a hurry. I use capers if I have them, I've thrown mushrooms, spring onions, courgettes and whatever into it, this recipe is already cheap and easy, if I can cook it, anyone can. How can she mess it up so badly?

Lol yes slut’s spaghetti was shade at Trinny Woodall

 

[That Forensic Man]

What is it with Jack and bloody sardines? Despite having at least 10 goes at it over as many years she can't get above a 2 (terrible)?

A Girl Called Jack
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Cooking on a Bootstrap
Sardine and tomato soup
Hot sardines with a Herby sauce

A Year in 120 Recipes
Sardine rillettes - Potatoes O’Houlihan (2)

Tin Can Cook
Lemon roasted sardines - Nurseali (TBC)
Beer battered sardines
Sardine rillettes

Website
Breakfast sardines, spinach, and a mug-baked-egg - ContentCrunch (2)
Oven roasted sardines on sourdough toast

BBC Food
Sardinesca - Knit one Pearl one (1)

 

[HotesTilaire]

She likes to poach fish in its own defrosting juices and bake it for an hour She hates fish

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Lads I’ve been to the haunted hellscape, trawling tirelessly through tweets sent in Feb 22 in order to find names of those local foodbank charites who were nominated to receive the teemill income, post-tRussel. You know what I mean.
I’ll be donating to one of these during the slopalong, because my local are TT and they can get in the bin. Also these smol charities were skanked out of donations by Jack giving everything to Southend Vineyard.

Spoiler: Nominated foodbanks

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If you have trouble deciding can I recommend Rainbow Junktion? People forget Hyde Park isn't all students.

(For any Leeds Fraus I can confirm the local TT is in good hands though)