THANK YOU @crystaleyesd loved that, especially the stabby tin opening method I never realised food was so expensive in Norway! Thanks for all that you do.
She did go with 'The Big Jack' (lol) and not to forget the unforgivable 'breakfast MuckMuffin'Now now surely she deserves some praise for not giving them all a Jackified name. You know she was dying to. Could have been chilli non jack, confit 'jack', fake jack, mock jack...
tragedy food - to be fair it's all tragic food10 budget-busting Jack Monroe recipes | Food | The Guardian
<p><strong>Jack Monroe: </strong>From soup to cookies, exclusive recipes from her book A Girl Called Jack</p>amp.theguardian.com
Dinner tomorrow (for one person because Mr Laz is AWAY) will be firecracker sausages with tragedy mash.
Update to follow. Could you do the honours, dear @That Forensic Man
chickpea Caesar saladThe Chickpea Caesar Salad sounds bloody terrifying, just from those words and the knowledge it contains jackfruit.
I missed this in a terribly unforensic manner, apologies tender one, the wiki is now updated10 budget-busting Jack Monroe recipes | Food | The Guardian
<p><strong>Jack Monroe: </strong>From soup to cookies, exclusive recipes from her book A Girl Called Jack</p>amp.theguardian.com
Dinner tomorrow (for one person because Mr Laz is AWAY) will be firecracker sausages with tragedy mash.
Update to follow. Could you do the honours, dear @That Forensic Man
Yes. Not sure whether it was a lucky choice or the quality of the ingredients used but it worked quite well.I missed this in a terribly unforensic manner, apologies tender one, the wiki is now updated
Slop well pal x
As I understand it dear heart @Witchfinder Sargeant also made this recipe pre-slopathon
And to think Jack bangs on about leftovers constantly, if there had been any mention of doing something with them the next day I'd be petitioning for a rescore (there wasn't, I checked).Update for the morning crowd.
I couldn't face bringing this mess to the office and feeling the judging eyes of my colleagues as I choked down my slop, so I decided to try it for breakfast. I'm usually one of those people who can eat anything for breakfast - I always wake up ravenous.
But when I retrieved the cassoulet from the fridge, it had somehow gotten worse. I'd foolishly imagined that perhaps the sugar from the Jackfruit and pears might have mellowed out the sauce overnight, but the stench was just vinegar at this stage, which is pretty impressive considering there is no vinegar (it is mentioned in the method but not in the ingredients list so who bleeping knows). The slop had turned into stodge so thick you could stand a spooooon in it. My attempts at rescuing it with sugar, paprika and soy sauce failed utterly.
View attachment 1753451
Instead I ate the leftover pears, as god intended, and they were nice. I'm sorry fraus, this is going in the bin
I'm furious because this could have been fine. This was never one of her super budget recipes - if you're going to put the hob on for an hour, take a couple of minutes more to cook off the wine. And why skimp on ingredients once you've got them? A proper spoonful of coffee for the marinade and a couple tablespoons of oil to properly sweat the veg would have improved this immeasurably. Instead it's pale and insipid and if I served this on TV I think I'd simply die of shame.
I gave my copy away but I picked my username based on her obsession with it. She ādiscoveredā it years after everyone else then thinks itās the only possible way to imitate or replace meat.Well done on taking one for the team! That looks like one of Jack's worst slops yet.
If you have some melamine cutlery lying around, you could give the leftovers to the homeless? What's Norwegian for "thank you for all you do"?
BTW to anyone who owns a copy of Veganish, if you ever get really bored, could you tell us what % of the recipes feature jackfruit?
Weirdly, she does add sugar in her goulash recipe - but that's the one dish where it shouldn't be needed, as the 5 tbsp of paprika ought to be quite sweet enough by itself.Smoked paprika can save many a thing, but I suspect it might have found its' match in this. Oh dear. You poor brave soul.
Again, I do not get why Jack never gets the reader to add a little pinch of sugar to these tomato-based recipes that involve cheap (and therefore very acidic) canned tomatoes and wine. Even a quarter teaspoon of sugar makes such a difference to a recipe, it doesn't make it sugary, it just mellows out the harshness of the other ingredients, especially when there's not much in the way of any fat to mellow it otherwise.
Looks dire.Update for the morning crowd.
I couldn't face bringing this mess to the office and feeling the judging eyes of my colleagues as I choked down my slop, so I decided to try it for breakfast. I'm usually one of those people who can eat anything for breakfast - I always wake up ravenous.
But when I retrieved the cassoulet from the fridge, it had somehow gotten worse. I'd foolishly imagined that perhaps the sugar from the Jackfruit and pears might have mellowed out the sauce overnight, but the stench was just vinegar at this stage, which is pretty impressive considering there is no vinegar (it is mentioned in the method but not in the ingredients list so who bleeping knows). The slop had turned into stodge so thick you could stand a spooooon in it. My attempts at rescuing it with sugar, paprika and soy sauce failed utterly.
View attachment 1753451
Instead I ate the leftover pears, as god intended, and they were nice. I'm sorry fraus, this is going in the bin
I'm furious because this could have been fine. This was never one of her super budget recipes - if you're going to put the hob on for an hour, take a couple of minutes more to cook off the wine. And why skimp on ingredients once you've got them? A proper spoonful of coffee for the marinade and a couple tablespoons of oil to properly sweat the veg would have improved this immeasurably. Instead it's pale and insipid and if I served this on TV I think I'd simply die of shame.
Despite myself I do keep hoping these recipes will actually work. It is truly shocking how bad they all are.Fraus, this is my last slop. Fun as itās been, I am now fully convinced that the recipes donāt work. Even with my previous efforts, Iāve had the feeling I might have done something wrong along the way. But this was such a simple recipe and I followed it to the letter (apart from baking it 20 minutes longer to try and make sure it was baked through, and not slop.) The texture is wrong, the flavour is horrible.
Youād be better just melting some chocolate over your tinned pears. This is just garbage.
I give it a 1.
I will keep reading the slopathons as they are brilliantly entertaining. But Iām done trying to get an edible bake out of any of her recipes.
Thanks for everything you've done tender one xBringing my slop forward, slop pickers. Was going to do this tomorrow but my other half is working late so knocked this up while the kid was eating dinner.
Chocolate Pear Cake
I have never done any vegan baking so was very curious to try this particularly as a friendās daughter has a dairy allergy. I have no reference points for vegan baking so canāt tell from the method whether itās sensible or not. Soon find out!
View attachment 1757823
Had everything in but the tinned fruit (Ā£1.05), the apple sauce (Ā£1) and the coconut milk (Ā£1.50) (
I combined the ingredients slop by slop, stopping to blitz up my (drained) pears.
First up, apple sauce and oil and sugar. Hard to get this to combine fully and thereās a distinct āhaloā of oil round the edges.
View attachment 1757825
View attachment 1757828
She says to reserve the pear juice and says she immediately pours this into a glass and drinks it, diluted with water. (Like a greedy goblin, I imagine)
I give this a go too. I didnāt have any vases to hand so had to make do with a glass.
View attachment 1757831
It tasted ā¦ like pear juice diluted with water.
Back to my pears
View attachment 1757834
View attachment 1757835
View attachment 1757836Note the lumpy texture when coconut milk is added to the mix, above. Iāve never baked with coconut milk before so donāt know if this is good, bad or neither. Couldnāt get the lumps out when stirring but maybe thatās ok.
Flour, bicarb, cocoa powder and cinamon goes in. This is way more cocoa powder than Iād usually use for a chocolate sponge cake. Three times as much in fact.
View attachment 1757837
Hereās the batter. Quite lumpy but smells good. I transfer to my loaf tin and even lick the bowl.
View attachment 1757841
View attachment 1757842
At this point she says to put the oven on. I do and wait for what feels like ages, for it to get to the right temperature. Itās a good opportunity to gaze into the distance and question some of my life choices.
In it goes
While itās cooking, I must admit thereās a lovely cinamonny baking smell through the house. I feel optimistic. Maybe this slopalong is the one.
After itās been in the oven 45 mins, she says to check itās done by inserting a clean knife. The test reveals itās still sloppy so I return to the oven. Then begins a very frustrating period of checking the cake is done every 5 minutes. Itās not. After 20 more minutes I accept that the knife will never come out clean. Iām worried itāll burn so I remove it and leave it to cool while I deal with my crabbit toddler.
I do the bedtime routine and wonder if I will have an edible cake to enjoy on when sheās asleep.
Hereās my cake fresh from the oven. Itās all cracked but I can live with that.
View attachment 1757843
This bit is from repeated testing to see if itās ready
View attachment 1757846
Once it had cooled, it looked not bad inasmuchas it was loaf-shaped and seemed solid rather than slop as I feared
View attachment 1757849
And cut into ..
View attachment 1757850
Itās just really disappointing. The texture is more like a pudding or a fondant than a cake or a loaf. You canāt hold up a slice without it all falling to bits. You canāt taste the pears because itās got far too much cocoa powder in it. You can taste cinamon but no discernible pear flavour. It tastes bitter. Bitter with a hint of cinamon.
Fraus, this is my last slop. Fun as itās been, I am now fully convinced that the recipes donāt work. Even with my previous efforts, Iāve had the feeling I might have done something wrong along the way. But this was such a simple recipe and I followed it to the letter (apart from baking it 20 minutes longer to try and make sure it was baked through, and not slop.) The texture is wrong, the flavour is horrible.
Youād be better just melting some chocolate over your tinned pears. This is just garbage.
I give it a 1.
I will keep reading the slopathons as they are brilliantly entertaining. But Iām done trying to get an edible bake out of any of her recipes.
I needed a slopalong to cheer me up so thank youBringing my slop forward, slop pickers. Was going to do this tomorrow but my other half is working late so knocked this up while the kid was eating dinner.
Chocolate Pear Cake
I have never done any vegan baking so was very curious to try this particularly as a friendās daughter has a dairy allergy. I have no reference points for vegan baking so canāt tell from the method whether itās sensible or not. Soon find out!
ļæ¼
Had everything in but the tinned fruit (Ā£1.05), the apple sauce (Ā£1) and the coconut milk (Ā£1.50) (
I combined the ingredients slop by slop, stopping to blitz up my (drained) pears.
First up, apple sauce and oil and sugar. Hard to get this to combine fully and thereās a distinct āhaloā of oil round the edges.
ļæ¼
ļæ¼
She says to reserve the pear juice and says she immediately pours this into a glass and drinks it, diluted with water. (Like a greedy goblin, I imagine)
I give this a go too. I didnāt have any vases to hand so had to make do with a glass.
ļæ¼
It tasted ā¦ like pear juice diluted with water.
Back to my pears
ļæ¼
ļæ¼
ļæ¼Note the lumpy texture when coconut milk is added to the mix, above. Iāve never baked with coconut milk before so donāt know if this is good, bad or neither. Couldnāt get the lumps out when stirring but maybe thatās ok.
Flour, bicarb, cocoa powder and cinamon goes in. This is way more cocoa powder than Iād usually use for a chocolate sponge cake. Three times as much in fact.
ļæ¼
Hereās the batter. Quite lumpy but smells good. I transfer to my loaf tin and even lick the bowl.
ļæ¼
ļæ¼
At this point she says to put the oven on. I do and wait for what feels like ages, for it to get to the right temperature. Itās a good opportunity to gaze into the distance and question some of my life choices.
In it goes
While itās cooking, I must admit thereās a lovely cinamonny baking smell through the house. I feel optimistic. Maybe this slopalong is the one.
After itās been in the oven 45 mins, she says to check itās done by inserting a clean knife. The test reveals itās still sloppy so I return to the oven. Then begins a very frustrating period of checking the cake is done every 5 minutes. Itās not. After 20 more minutes I accept that the knife will never come out clean. Iām worried itāll burn so I remove it and leave it to cool while I deal with my crabbit toddler.
I do the bedtime routine and wonder if I will have an edible cake to enjoy on when sheās asleep.
Hereās my cake fresh from the oven. Itās all cracked but I can live with that.
ļæ¼
This bit is from repeated testing to see if itās ready
ļæ¼
Once it had cooled, it looked not bad inasmuchas it was loaf-shaped and seemed solid rather than slop as I feared
ļæ¼
And cut into ..
ļæ¼
Itās just really disappointing. The texture is more like a pudding or a fondant than a cake or a loaf. You canāt hold up a slice without it all falling to bits. You canāt taste the pears because itās got far too much cocoa powder in it. You can taste cinamon but no discernible pear flavour. It tastes bitter. Bitter with a hint of cinamon.
Fraus, this is my last slop. Fun as itās been, I am now fully convinced that the recipes donāt work. Even with my previous efforts, Iāve had the feeling I might have done something wrong along the way. But this was such a simple recipe and I followed it to the letter (apart from baking it 20 minutes longer to try and make sure it was baked through, and not slop.) The texture is wrong, the flavour is horrible.
Youād be better just melting some chocolate over your tinned pears. This is just garbage.
I give it a 1.
I will keep reading the slopathons as they are brillto ciantly entertaining. But Iām done trying to get an edible bake out of any of her recipes.