Incredibly I think she is even worse at baking than cooking.
Most of the slops are tit but probably edible. The cakes are just claggy bricks.
Most of the slops are tit but probably edible. The cakes are just claggy bricks.
Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley
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@Fleasyweezy she alleged that the rinsing hoops/beans thing was because she was tasked with coming up with creative ideas for hoops and beans from a food bank. Then it transpired (and I can hear you gasping in shock from here) that was a lie.
As for making things you know aren’t going to work, I cannot pretend I didn’t have to grit my teeth when I poured that horse spunk all over the lasagne. I knew it wasn’t going to become magic béchamel in the oven. But I have to prove it was bullshit. And now I have.
As for making things you know aren’t going to work, I cannot pretend I didn’t have to grit my teeth when I poured that horse spunk all over the lasagne. I knew it wasn’t going to become magic béchamel in the oven. But I have to prove it was bullshit. And now I have.
Thank you @bakedcheesecake for such an eloquent post. The bit I’ve quoted above really hit me. You sum it up so well. Much love x
Thank you so much for sharingI’ve Been hesitant to post this but I am a food bank user. Her recipes are a joke.
I normally get - tinned pasta. Spaghetti hoops, they go on toast. As they are, unrinsed.
Tinned meat, a pie or stewed tinned meat. I eat pie as is, normally try and get some new potatoes to go with and cook some frozen veg. Sometimes I get tinned new potatoes and that’s a meal right there.
Tinned tuna. Mix with pasta for tuna pasta or sometimes w tinned sweetcorn on a jacket potato. Tuna sandwiches for a treat, toasted with cheese of i have the money.
Oats, cereal and UHT milk. I eat as it comes. It’s not delicious, or ideal, but it does the job. Cereal or oats for tea sometimes with some cinnamon added, it’s ok.
Tinned soup: I just eat the bleeping soup.
Fruit, a snack. Sometimes breakfast if I’m not that hungry.
No rinsing or any of her bullshit is required. Her recipes are honestly dangerous.
I cant speak on behalf of all foodbank users, but I eat because I have to. I don’t or can’t afford to duck around rinsing meat or cooking veg peelings on a meal that is inedible.
It’s not fair she has 7 cookbooks and earning god knows what amount a month.
She doesn’t deserve to have a voice on behalf of people who are struggling. I hate everything about her.
just my two cents. Poor people do not need to be taught how to manage a budget. We only spend what we need to. Budgeting or making tinned food into something it isn’t supposed to be isn’t the issue. TORIES are the bleeping issue and that’s above Jacks remit. I wish she’d just disappear into oblivion.
Slopalong is so funny but it’s genuinely engaging at the same time. Poor people who rely on a food parcel cannot afford to be bleeping around with her disgusting ‘meals’. Bottom line
I almost forgot- this week I had a treat and got some corned beef. Corned beef & baked bean hash is ELITE and it is what it is. On a jacket potato? Not dire
. Baked potatoes with corned beef, beans and cheese were a staple Sunday lunch for me growing up - not dire at all and absolutely no rinsing required, other than the plates for washing up.
It’s so good!!! ‘ULTIMATE’ comfort food!Thank you so much for sharing
Baked potatoes with corned beef, beans and cheese were a staple Sunday lunch for me growing up - not dire at all and absolutely no rinsing required, other than the plates for washing up.
[QUOTE="PermanentEyeRolls, post: 12533133, member: 107654" Has anyone signed up to hot nicoise? And what in the name of Fanny Craddock is Crabby Nora?!
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@PermanentEyeroll
Hot nicoise & Crabby Nora
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@PermanentEyeroll
Hot nicoise & Crabby Nora
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I started reading the slopathon threads sometime in the early hours when I couldn't sleep. Well done to all who have taken one for the tattle team and tried them out. No wonder her food always looks so crap, she must not have a goddam clue about cooking.
It makes me angry and sad too, that as some people have said on this and the previous thread, they tried some of her recipes in the hope of saving money and were upset when nothing was working out, and blamed themselves.
Does she spend her 100 hour
working week just typing up any sort of old rubbish and passing it off as recipes! It's obvious from what posters have posted about trying them out that they simply were not tested and do not work. So a huge waste of money, and food.
And yet she is or was held up as some kind of saint working to help the less well off. It's beyond disgraceful.
It makes me angry and sad too, that as some people have said on this and the previous thread, they tried some of her recipes in the hope of saving money and were upset when nothing was working out, and blamed themselves.
Does she spend her 100 hour
working week just typing up any sort of old rubbish and passing it off as recipes! It's obvious from what posters have posted about trying them out that they simply were not tested and do not work. So a huge waste of money, and food.And yet she is or was held up as some kind of saint working to help the less well off. It's beyond disgraceful.
What the holy hell is this!? I almost dare not keep scrolling for I fear the results.Two-ingredient Cake: today’s the day!
This will be tough, my darlings, but so am I
I unscrewed my lightbulb for maximum authenticity when I took the photo of the recipe. Hope y’all appreciate my FORENSIC attention to detail here.
See you on the other side! TOOT TOOT
View attachment 1710910View attachment 1710911
Do you think she ever tries something out "on a whim" or "from a dream" or whatever BS and decides it was a failure? However terrible the result of her God awful experiments she still seems to stick them in a book. Can you imagine what the recipes she thinks we're too bad to include must be like
Also, can you really call it a two ingredient cake recipe when one of those ingredients is cake mix? She should try my one ingredient cake recipe. The ingredient is a cake.
I was just mithering on that bullying recipe Jack wanted LJC to do. The one where she says don't tit about and Victoria Derbyshire commented on it with veiled judgement. I think we should examine for the Slopalong. Tbh I can't even remember what the recipe is for but it was complex iirc.
You are welcome. My bloke said aww you cleaned the microwave especially BEFORE that. I love that for you
@PermanentEyeroll
Hot nicoise & Crabby Nora
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What does she actually mean by 'light' cooking oil? Is she talking about the colour? The density? The taste?
I've had a google and can see that in the US, it may refer to the more heavily-processed subset of refined olive oils: https://brightland.co/blogs/field-notes/what-is-refined-olive-oil
Is that what she means? Because it's something that's not really available in the UK (you can get various blends of virgin + refined olive oil, but that's not the same thing).
Why doesn't she just talk about "vegetable oil" or "cooking oil"?
I thought this was some dodgy Instagram photo when I first saw it but IT'S IN HER BOOK!This was the recipe that prompted me to get slopping with the rapidly boiled rinsed beans
That photo gives me the ick
What was she thinking. It's all so bizarre.Does she mean that awful fry lite emulsion in a spray bottle ~1cal per squirt but you need 25 squirts and it goes off in about a week.
Oh corned beef reminds me. I had a friend who used to make bolognese with corned beef. I was slightly horrified but as a student wasn’t about to turn down a free meal, but it was actually pretty good. She cooked it for ages though, definitely not electricity usage friendly. I’ve not seen Jack’s recipe for it which might be a horror show, but as a thing to do with corned beef I don’t hate it.
I only ever make bolognese with lentils these days because I have a vegetarian in the house.
I only ever make bolognese with lentils these days because I have a vegetarian in the house.
That's a good point. In which case, it's roughly the same price per ml as branded premium olive oils - and you have to use twice as much as the water and alcohol that make up 49% of it will evaporate off once the pan heats up.
Oh!
Maybe that's why she tries to fry things in a cold pan!
I think it's her unbridled arrogance that anything she pulls out her arse is a work of genius.Do you think she ever tries something out "on a whim" or "from a dream" or whatever BS and decides it was a failure? However terrible the result of her God awful experiments she still seems to stick them in a book. Can you imagine what the recipes she thinks we're too bad to include must be like
When you palm the oil you'll be able to tell if it's light tender one, as in 'light enough to hump all the way home in my rucksack'
Vlad likes his beans UNRINSED
I just use gu ramekins melt the butter, pop the eggs in nuke in the meekrowarvey et voila poached eggsEggy cup is the BEST! But I don’t know why she wastes time & energy boiling it, cooling it and then mushing it. I put two eggs in a cup in the microwave at 20 sec intervals (little stir in between) for about 140 seconds -ish (dependant on size of egg, wattage of mic andshe’s right.. shape of cup) knob of butter, sprinkle of salt.
She'll get someone killed or injured with that hot nicoise recipe. I'm surprised it passed editing (I'm not really ). Unless tinned potato labelling has changed it has always stated DO NOT FRY them. Now, I do because I'm a grown up and I quite like them fried for breakfast. But you need to dry them REALLY WELL. Not just drain them. They can occasionally explode due to the internal water content. So best diced and dried thoroughly.
). Unless tinned potato labelling has changed it has always stated DO NOT FRY them. Now, I do because I'm a grown up and I quite like them fried for breakfast. But you need to dry them REALLY WELL. Not just drain them. They can occasionally explode due to the internal water content. So best diced and dried thoroughly.- Status