Slopalong #2 You can’t polish a turd, but you can cover it in parsley

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Grizzlybear

Coriander or spinach OR parsley? Fuck me

aside: lovely Chetna a has a fantastic version of this on her YouTube which I heartily recommend
 
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VeniVidiVicki

That is an entirely different recipe to the one on BBC Good Food - these are the ingredients listed for that.


ETA I know Chetna and she is an amazing cook (and a very lovely person)
 
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NellieBoo

Ah. That's more like it. This bears no resemblance to the recipe on the bbc website.
 
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That Forensic Man

I'd be tempted to restore your dal makhani @LadyGarden but cross it out and remove the score? It seems wasteful to remove it entirely and it's good for comparison purposes to the COAB version. Thoughts?

"2 tbsp garlic and ginger paste, or 1 tbsp garlic paste and 1 tbsp ginger paste"
This line is confusing tbf, does garlic and ginger paste come pre-mixed or something? Why say it like this.
 
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Anyfulekno

NellieBoo said:
Ah. That's more like it. This bears no resemblance to the recipe on the bbc website.
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what's going on then, bbc are surreptitiously correcting her recipes? so they know that they don't work yet continue to give her a platform?
or it's a sub editor who can actually cook softly and gently helping us out in case we actually try to make these 'recipes'

like when your child wants to make a recipe that they've made in their own head that you know won't work (sausage soup for e.g.) and you bait and switch them into making something achievable that won't waste your dinner ingredients
 
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Witchfinder Sargeant

I know this is the slopalong, but why break a journey from Thorpe Bay to the Lake District in Bolton? You're practically there by the time you get to Bolton, why not just do the last 100 miles and get it done? It's not like she was driving. Both sets of my grandparents lived in Cumbria and I grew up on the south coast, we never did the trip to see grandparents in two stages, dad just pointed the car north and got on with it.
 
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FlirtyThirty

Same, we had Manchester grandparents to visit from very south and we just went. Always got lost on the spaghetti junction, every single time. That's a food related segue, right? Is anyone doing the come to bed puttanesca or whatever it is? Also why would you want heartburn right before bed it makes no sense.
 
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VeniVidiVicki

I’ve just had a look at DKL to see if I can find her doing the dhal and failed. I did watch her making the horse spunk lasagne again though and I was WRONG!!

She didn’t make a mistake - she said it was a transformative new way of making white sauce if it was going in the oven.

I am so ashamed that I tried to rationalise her utterly contemptible brazen idiocy
 
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Lucky Escape

I've been wondering about this too. If the BBC are able to put in the effort to fix up her recipes on their website, then why can't she (or her editor, or her publisher) do the same for her books?
 
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MancBee

Peach Drizzle Brick is in the oven...photo's and commentary coming soon. I bet you can't wait.

I decided not to bake it at my partners parents (I've still got one, he hasn't left. But to be fair he hasn't moved in! ) I didn't want to risk our relationship.
 
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Lazarus

Yes dear heart, you can get a jar of ginger and garlic paste from the world food section at the supermarket. Always great to have in the cupboard as a good base when starting a curry.
 
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VeniVidiVicki

Lazarus said:
Yes dear heart, you can get a jar of ginger and garlic paste from the world food section at the supermarket. Always great to have in the cupboard as a good base when starting a curry.
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And you can also buy it in frozen cubes from the frozen world food section. It’s what I use when making a curry.
 
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LadyGarden

VeniVidiVicki said:
I’ve just had a look at DKL to see if I can find her doing the dhal and failed. I did watch her making the horse spunk lasagne again though and I was WRONG!!
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It's here, dear heart. Starts around 24 minutes in.


@VeniVidiVicki I was just coming on here to say that they are totally different recipes! Added to which, she said she uses 150g of butter when she's cooking it on DKL vs the 75g mentioned on the BBC site. I'm just re-watching it now.

Daal chaos!

Too late, I've asked for the post to be removed. Had to email Tattle to request it!

There's enough chaos with different recipes for this Daal without me adding to it with my double ingredients

Apparently you can get tubes of garlic and ginger mixed together. Who knew (not me, obviously)
 
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Justacatindisguise

Microwaving plums! Always reminds me of my old babysitter being lazy about defrosting a mouse for his snake and having to buy his mum a new microwave when it exploded.
 
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Anyfulekno

updated jack's hazard slops list:

Letting rice sit on the side for ages instead of cooling quickly - allows lots of Bacillus cereus bacteria to grow and give you the shits/food poisoning peanut milk rice pudding
frying tinned potatoes - they can explode due to the water content hot nicoise
storing/infusing herbs in oil - risk of botulism Whoa F*ck Dressing
Microwaving stone fruits to ripen - explodey, doesn't work, could fuck up your microwave microwave ripening fruits

I would also like to add sprout scones because cooked (painstakingly) by the instructions:
 
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overdueanadventure

That's a picture I can hear.

Eta: and yes, exploding plums, ahem. Don't try this at home, folks.
 
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EllaEm87

I have never, in my life, ever had a glut of courgettes knocking about.

Carrots, sometimes, if I’m forced to buy a bag because singles aren’t available. But courgette? Surely it’s one of those things that you only buy the amount you need of?
 
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BlairWaldorf86

MancBee said:
I decided not to bake it at my partners parents (I've still got one, he hasn't left. But to be fair he hasn't moved in! ) I didn't want to risk our relationship.
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Don’t you mean your “in-laws” dear heart?

The discovery of the REAL daal recipe after I said I’d make it, has me very worried. I’d already WARNED my OH too. He’s started referring to our baby’s food as slop, send helpos.
 
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Justacatindisguise

Bolton hasn't been in Lancashire since 1974, Jack. Absolute fucking moron.

ETA this has actually really annoyed me. If she knew anything about deprived northern towns then she wouldn't be at all surprised that it's easier to get a curry than 1950s English food. And whoever published that shite should have done some basic fact checking. Stay in your middle class Essex bubble Jack, you're not welcome up here.
 
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Reactions: 34
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