Single by Choice

[peachesandcreamz]

Piggy-backing off everyone else's chat - I have been in two relationships in my life when I was much younger. I'm now 30 and my standards are just so incredibly high that it seems near impossible that I'll meet anyone who would fit into (and add to!) my life. And I'm very happy with that!

As women I definitely think the longer you spend single, the more....off-putting, perhaps, you are to men (if you swing that way, of course). They see our independence and realise we have high expectations and it's too much for a lot of men. We have our own interests, we have friends we spend weekends with - I will NEVER become that person who gets into a relationship and suddenly my only "friend" is my partner!

I think if I do ever decide to be with someone, they will also have to have been single and lived alone for a decent amount of time so I know they are able to look after themself!!

 

[petitspois]

I honestly think the traditional set up of a heterosexual couple living together for 50 plus years is on the way out. Great if you genuinely get on but so many don't. I think women are waking up and realising that they don't need to be life managers for mediocre men, doing most of the housework, house management and child rearing.

I was with a friend last week and a single school Dad was talking to his mate on the next table and I heard him say he'd love a girlfriend. The reasons weren't for her company or anything like that, he said he could do with someone to get him organised at home and it's true, what do men like that get out of relationships? someone to cook, clean and 'run the house', be a stepmum, contribute to his bills and have sex with him but what on earth is in it for the woman?

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Piggy-backing off everyone else's chat - I have been in two relationships in my life when I was much younger. I'm now 30 and my standards are just so incredibly high that it seems near impossible that I'll meet anyone who would fit into (and add to!) my life. And I'm very happy with that!

As women I definitely think the longer you spend single, the more....off-putting, perhaps, you are to men (if you swing that way, of course). They see our independence and realise we have high expectations and it's too much for a lot of men. We have our own interests, we have friends we spend weekends with - I will NEVER become that person who gets into a relationship and suddenly my only "friend" is my partner!

I think if I do ever decide to be with someone, they will also have to have been single and lived alone for a decent amount of time so I know they are able to look after themself!!

I don't want to settle for just anything to "fit in".
I've been told that men will look around for someone to marry when they see their friends settling down. It can feel to a woman like you're being interviewed for a job.
I was criticized for being too independent.Not being someone their mother would like. Not knowing my place.Nor talking about the right things. I could go on.

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I don't want to settle for just anything to "fit in".
I've been told that men will look around for someone to marry when they see their friends settling down. It can feel to a woman like you're being interviewed for a job.
I was criticized for being too independent.Not being someone their mother would like. Not knowing my place.Nor talking about the right things. I could go on.

Hahaha I get told I am "intimidating" regularly, but I'm also super friendly, chatty etc.....so I think what they mean is "You come across far too independent and it scares me!"

 

[Chocolategoggler]

Hahaha I get told I am "intimidating" regularly, but I'm also super friendly, chatty etc.....so I think what they mean is "You come across far too independent and it scares me!"

OMG!! I forgot that one! The major thing that is said about me by blokes.
Women will approach me in a shop and start chatting
Maybe that's when my resting witch face accidentally switches off.

 

[BanditHealer]

I definitely think my standards are higher than they've ever been. It's a myth that single women in their 30s / 40s are desperate - quite the opposite in my network! None of us want to date.

I have a nice life and someone would have to be exceptional for me to try and fit them into that, and even if they were amazing, I'm not sure I'd take the risk of letting someone new into my kids' lives.

 

[Beaversabout]

Hahaha I get told I am "intimidating" regularly, but I'm also super friendly, chatty etc.....so I think what they mean is "You come across far too independent and it scares me!"

A bloke said to me after a game of pool, you look aggressive and unapproachable but your actually the opposite. Ok..thanks. I was smiling before ffs.

 

[QueenBW]

I've been told "I think too highly of myself" for not putting up with bs, that I'm arrogant because I'm the best in class/at work (never bragged but I'm somehow still arrogant just for getting the accolades, that I need to lighten up because I didn't find sexist jokes funny.

Honestly, I don't need a man in my life to feel worth it and the ones I've encountered wouldn't add anything of worth to my life as it is. So I prefer my own company and that of friends.

 

[soph30]

It would be interesting to know how many of us have had loads of relationships in the past and just been put off by… people and those who have just never been that interested?

I’m in my mid thirties, I’ve had two relationships and I’m now single. I’m just sitting with my coffee thinking about how I could happily never have sex or be in a relationship again

 

[SpindleWhorl]

I'd be happy with just a few good FWB's don't ever want a man living with me again

 

[Nurseali]

It would be interesting to know how many of us have had loads of relationships in the past and just been put off by… people and those who have just never been that interested?

I’m in my mid thirties, I’ve had two relationships and I’m now single. I’m just sitting with my coffee thinking about how I could happily never have sex or be in a relationship again

I have been married twice , both times to Narcs , didn't realise my first one was until recently as the marriage was so short. I am an empath and attract men who seem vulnerable at the start.
I now no longer trust my judgement at all.
It's annoying how many people including close friends who assume I will "get out there" some day.
I don't want to get out there. I love my here. Frustrating that you aren't seen as whole just living your own happy life.

 

[petitspois]

I'd be happy with just a few good FWB's don't ever want a man living with me again

oh god no. The pee on the seat, the smells, the mess, the sheer amount of food they eat. No chance.

 

[mozzarellagirl]

oh god no. The pee on the seat, the smells, the mess, the sheer amount of food they eat. No chance.

The way they smell in the morning the musk from under the duvet, their breath... and majority of them don't even wash their hands regularly let alone their arseholes! you know how many men are out there wondering around with crappy arseholes that haven't been washed since they were 6?!

anyway...

 

[newtoyou]

The way they smell in the morning the musk from under the duvet, their breath... and majority of them don't even wash their hands regularly let alone their arseholes! you know how many men are out there wondering around with crappy arseholes that haven't been washed since they were 6?!

anyway...

I didn’t know whether to or at this. You’ve conjured up quite the image!

 

[wilbz90]

I’m 34 and went on hinge to see what it was like. One of my ‘things about me’ was that I’m quite independent. A chap then liked my photo and told me it was a complete turn off and that no one would want me and I’d need to learn to rely on a man.

staying bleeping single

 

[Chocolategoggler]

I seem to threaten men without any effort. Workmen come and their equipment breaks and I fling open my big toolbox and offer them my drill and they immediately have the "I feel demeaned" look on their face.
Or I have a better car in a blokes eyes.
There's an Irish woman on You Tube. She's 4 foot 11 and looks sweet.
Then she gets out all her tools and starts doing amazing things. But she's single and I'm wondering is it because she makes men feel "shown up".

 

[fxckmanet]

Rant for today - My ex came round at the weekend to pick up a book that she'd left here. Whenever I see her all she does is complain, mostly about money, which is her own fault for getting herself into the situation she has and not making the effort to get out of it.

She started complaining that the hob in her new flat doesn't 'recognise' her pans so she can't make hot choc with the Velvetiser sachets, 10 mins of pointless complaining later, she's guilt tripped me into giving her my actual Velvetiser, she literally cried that she couldn't make a decent hot chocolate as if that's a valid problem to cry over "But I'll give you the pot so you can make them on the hob still" - No thanks, I'll have the proper machine that I paid for, especially as the main reason for me buying it is because I have some hand problems where holding kitchen utensils can be painful.

And just to add insult to injury, as she was leaving she asked me if I had a spare vape that I could give her - annoying but wouldn't usually be a problem, but this time it just really shat on my cornflakes.

I had two years of paying all of our bills with no help, and getting myself into debt to support us both, only to still have the tit end of the deal even when we aren't together.

 

[Olgivy]

Rant for today - My ex came round at the weekend to pick up a book that she'd left here. Whenever I see her all she does is complain, mostly about money, which is her own fault for getting herself into the situation she has and not making the effort to get out of it.

She started complaining that the hob in her new flat doesn't 'recognise' her pans so she can't make hot choc with the Velvetiser sachets, 10 mins of pointless complaining later, she's guilt tripped me into giving her my actual Velvetiser, she literally cried that she couldn't make a decent hot chocolate as if that's a valid problem to cry over "But I'll give you the pot so you can make them on the hob still" - No thanks, I'll have the proper machine that I paid for, especially as the main reason for me buying it is because I have some hand problems where holding kitchen utensils can be painful.

And just to add insult to injury, as she was leaving she asked me if I had a spare vape that I could give her - annoying but wouldn't usually be a problem, but this time it just really shat on my cornflakes.

I had two years of paying all of our bills with no help, and getting myself into debt to support us both, only to still have the tit end of the deal even when we aren't together.

Time to set better boundaries, and take control of this situation. She isn’t your problem anymore. Let her sort out her velvitiser and vape issues elsewhere. Don't be friends with someone who disrespected you in your relationship.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Chocolategoggler What's the name of the Irish lady with drill? I'd like to watch her videos.

 

[Chocolategoggler]

@Chocolategoggler What's the name of the Irish lady with drill? I'd like to watch her videos.

Dainty Diaries. She's making less of them now. Has been talking about anxiety last year and going for therapy.
You could start by watching a get to know me video so you have her backstory in your mind i.e. how she got the house and furnished it. Otherwise you might just dismiss her as "a sweet little girl".

It would be best to watch from the beginning to see how she evolved to now - what a journey! Then you won't miss how the garden started, the gorgeous Blondie who was really her "supervisor", the travel vlogs and the "makes" videos - I defy you not to make at least one of these.
Then you might understand how she's ended up writing a book and being on Irish TV.