Single by Choice

[sleepflowers]

I notice how the men act trying to get onto trains/getting a seat & that’s all I need to remember - no thanks!

This gives me a massive cringe honestly, then when they're challenged online about it they're like 'ooooh well feminism says we're all equal so you should stand!!' it's not even about that, it's about looking like a pathetic childish little boy with no consideration of others.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Grrr there were about three of "those" couples clogging up the aisles of my local Co-op just now. Dithering & discussing what they should buy. Can't shop alone even! Love this thread. Have never been able to express my non envy of gruesome twosome syndrome anywhere.

Wow - he must have been bloody good! Seriously though, no man is THAT good (and they're never as good as they think they are).

I think it's called Illusory Golden Dick virus.

@aidil Thing is he ends up wasting your precious time by proxy. I'm ashamed to think of friends I put through this nonsense.

 

[kendallroysdownfall]

I genuinely don't feel this at all. All of my friends who were long-term married look at my life and say that if anything were to happen to their partners they wouldn't look for another relationship

 

[GeminiMoon]

I’m in a very, very long term relationship so probably don’t have the right to post on this board. But I covet the single life - I fantasise about it endlessly and this board only make me want it more. I think I was always meant to live alone and not be in a relationship but various life circumstances have led to me clinging to this relationship far beyond its expiration.

So what makes me stay? Not financial codependency because I’d be ok on my own there. No, apart from the usual difficulty in extracting yourself from a complex, long term relationship and our children together who would be devastated, I stay with him because of practical concerns. Mostly because I don’t drive due to a medical condition and have a limited support network so I worry about getting the kids (both aged 14 and over) to school or if I needed to go to a hospital appointment an hour or two away (this has only happened once in my life so far) or who would help me move house because I’ll probably need to sell up and who would take things to the tip on and on these slightly illogical worries persist, keeping me in co-dependency.

Can anybody assure me that single non-drivers with responsibilities can comfortably exist easily out there in the world?! I know that sounds silly.

 

[L3moning]

I love planning my own trips no one else to have to please!

Agreed, it's a lot less faff

 

[Here for gossip]

I love being single, been on my own nearly 7 years now, am 33 and love my freedom

 

[unidentified]

This made me laugh I saw on another thread someone saying they love the smell of men’s bodies and was just like

Haha this is a true thing. It’s all about the pheromones. I loved the smell of my ex, even his sweaty body. Sounds so weird but it is a thing.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

Stupid asshole. She's welcome to him. Probably thinks you're desperate for a shag (him).

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I got up this morning in a fab mood. Wore red to work with black, heart earrings. Spent time that I don't actually have making sure I acknowledged and had a good chat to all colleagues I crossed paths with. Sent my daughter a lovely Valentine's message. Home for a nice tea and now sitting here listening to chilled music with a scented candle burning. Lots of love to me from me!

Felt sorry for colleagues who were disappointed not getting anything from their partners.

You sound like a kindred spirit - I even wore heart earrings too!!

 

[unidentified]

I’m happily single and vegan and I feel like both those things make people react so defensively for no reason. Men especially.

Eeee be careful, they might burn you on a steak (sorry for the pun)

 

[sleepflowers]

Years ago I worked for someone with the meanest, grumpiest (and unattractive) husband. This lady had a friend who's daughter worked in London, great job & her own home in South London.
I met the daughter once and was stunned by her natural beauty and she was a lovely friendly person too.
When I saw my employer I mentioned that I could not believe just how beautiful she was(is)! Her reply was so patronising. " Oh dear. Our lovely Jennie just can't seem to find a man. I don't know what we can do to help her". Unbelievable! All her other achievements were irrelevant because she didn't have a MAN!
As it happens shortly after she did meet and marry a really nice guy. At least she can fit in with the marrieds now!

I think this is how my parents are about me My sister got a bf this year and it's allll they talk about, like it's the most important thing to ever happen, thank GOD they don't have TWO single daughters anymore

 

[Zulkraa]

Book the holiday!! I’ve been on 3 holidays by myself and loved it. Twice to Goa - part of the holiday was at a yoga retreat so lots of people to talk to and then last October I went to Ibiza. It was great, planned something for each day. Got talking to another woman at a yoga class who was on her own and we went out for dinner that night across the island and shared a paella! Something I wouldn’t have been able to do on own. On my final night got chatting to an older couple in a restaurant and had a few drinks with them. Then on the other nights I was a hermit and in my room watching Netflix by 9pm or out drinking cocktails listening to podcasts/ reading my book. It was great and if I didn’t plan these things I wouldn’t never have gone anywhere and I love a holiday.
I’m off to Tenerife with a friend next month and I’m actually worried how I’m going to cope being with her 24/7 as I’m so used to being alone.

Maybe you could split up and go off and do your own things if she’s comfortable with that? I think it would drive me mad being with someone 24/7

I’ve done a lot of solo travel in the past and I really enjoy it as it’s a great way to meet like minded people. I still have really good friends who I’m still intouch with.

There is a thread for those that are interested in solo trips/travel:

Solo travel advice & recommendations

Hoping someone on here is / has been brave enough to go on holiday alone and can give me some tips! I haven't been on holiday at all for about 5 years for various reasons plus of course the pandemic. My husband doesn't like going abroad (won't fly, everything else is too much hassle for him &...

tattle.life

 

[newtoyou]

i honestly kind of want you to go back on there like “okay i married someone now what”

(not meaning to make light of your situation at all, i’m just gobsmacked that was the “advice” they gave you)

Hahaha if I hadn’t already blocked them, I would!

The rest seem to be snoring in front of the TV and talking about Verisure alarms.

The verisure alarm is so hilariously specific

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I love this thread. Thank you all for sharing your views, I promise I will reply tomorrow but have been out this eve. X

 

[Thank(space)you]

I’m in a very, very long term relationship so probably don’t have the right to post on this board. But I covet the single life - I fantasise about it endlessly and this board only make me want it more. I think I was always meant to live alone and not be in a relationship but various life circumstances have led to me clinging to this relationship far beyond its expiration.

So what makes me stay? Not financial codependency because I’d be ok on my own there. No, apart from the usual difficulty in extracting yourself from a complex, long term relationship and our children together who would be devastated, I stay with him because of practical concerns. Mostly because I don’t drive due to a medical condition and have a limited support network so I worry about getting the kids (both aged 14 and over) to school or if I needed to go to a hospital appointment an hour or two away (this has only happened once in my life so far) or who would help me move house because I’ll probably need to sell up and who would take things to the tip on and on these slightly illogical worries persist, keeping me in co-dependency.

Can anybody assure me that single non-drivers with responsibilities can comfortably exist easily out there in the world?! I know that sounds silly.

I was a single non driving mum for 4 years, my child has urinary incontinence which her consultant is based in the next city over, and I have an autoimmune disease so I'm regularly in hospital for reviews and check ups and we managed with public transport, taxis and favours from family. It is hard but it is possible.

 

[QueenBW]

This is not me wanting a partner (or kids for that matter!). But does anyone who lives alone get lonely? I love being alone but sometimes when I get home after work, or when I go to bed I do feel it. I know this is probably totally normal but is there anything people do to make them feel less so?

I spend all week at work with people and see people at weekends. In fact I don’t feel lonely at weekends even if I don’t. It’s just those specific times where I think about how other people come home to partners or families.

I tend to have background noise on a lot (tv or podcasts). But any things you do when you get home to an empty house?

Might I suggest a pet? They really do help with that "coming home to an empty space" feeling. Great cuddlers too. Unless they're cats. Really might I suggest getting a dog hahaha.

 

[Lalla]

My plan in the next few years is to move away (Wales/ Shropshire, I want to live somewhere more rural with a bit of space between me and my neighbours - after living almost all my life in suburban outer London I'm ready for a change).

I was telling one of my local (married) friends this recently and she said 'but you don't know anyone, won't you be lonely all on your own?' - I don't know that I will be (plus there is a high chance one of my sons will move with me anyway) I'm quite a solitary person the older I get so it doesn't worry me but now I'm wondering if it should!

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I cherish not being touched by some scrote (yes I was on FDS and loved it "the Audacity"
I bought this neck massager thingy off Amazon for about £30. It's got these loops you put your wrists in and you can lower it to do all of your back too. Brilliant gizmo and can elicit the odd "Yes.Yes. Just there. That's it!!"

I oblivioned my way through Valentine's day too. Making progress here.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

@Lola Ruby I can remember feeling like you when in relationships. It's like your soul is being drained. Anyways it's a new year soon and you can always build yourself up, make plans towards having the life of peace you want in time, not tomorrow...just know it's a choice and it's definitely possible. You sound amazing.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

COVID permitted walk a day really brought out the codependent couples. Bloody hell you couldn't prise them apart to pass them on the pavement holding hands. I actually had to calm down and not be rude & yell insults at them! I mean COVID really put the "SINGLE" sign on ones forehead.