Single by Choice

[FilthyGorgeous]

Happy singles days you absolute treats!

My bestie (who is normally fiercely independent) came over to mine last night freaking out over a guy she’s slept with once who she’s now mooning over. She was like a completely different person. It was so wild to me that someone who I’ve always looked up to as the ultimate independent woman was now fretting over her appearance and the way she types messages, constantly checking her phone to see if he’s online. She’s also stopped eating meals and is living on shakes. Apparently this has nothing to do with pining for the guy who’s “too good looking” for her and is just a coincidence

Never been happier to be single!

I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve been where your friend is I used to spend a lot of time worrying what they thought of me and the idea that I might not be into who they really were didn't even enter my mind. Hopefully that side of me is dead and buried now.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

Driving lessons ?

Their comment clearly says they cannot drive due to a medical issue. I personally don’t believe that everything is black and white eg “if you’re not happy then leave” when there are the logistics of life to contend with. In an ideal world just leaving / moving on would be perfect, but in reality it’s not always practical.

 

[mousey]

Well they pretend to be incompetent to get out of doing things. Suddenly competence returns when they’re in work or organising their hobbies.

Yeah absolutely! Always totally selfish!

 

[AshMay]

If you think about it, what do you do with a romantic partner that you can’t do with a good friend apart from sex? And you have to make that one person the most important thing all the time instead of experiencing wider life.

I live in a big city and quite a few friends and acquaintances have got into polyamory/ENM. I'm not against it and they seem happy, but part of me wonders what they're seeking from these extra partners, other than sex, that they can't get from nurturing their existing friendships? They never have time for friends anymore because they have a whole polycule on rotation. It also just seems a faff with all the extra logistics, communication, boundaries, jealousy etc esp the ones with 'primary partners' or spouses. I just wouldn't have the energy and patience!

 

[GiftedNotFree]

View attachment 2850480
me sitting trying to fight my horny thoughts because casual sex is NOT worth it. i WILL regret it. i will NOT cum. messaging an old link for sex is a STUPID idea. i OWN a vibrator. my mind is FILTH. I am a reborn VIRGIN. My strength is SHAKY.

But alas... my fellow warriors

We
Must
Remain
Strong.

Me when I’m ovulating but it always passes! (And I DO NOT want children)

 

[Closedeyes]

This is my perfect life tbh

Academic conference, hen. Go get your slag on!!

 

[peachesandcreamz]

Right gang, going to be blunt so avert your gaze if you're easily offended - but I'm sorry to say I need a SHAG!!!

I know a lot of people can be happily single and still get laid, but it's been nearly 6 years now and I just cannot imagine being intimate with someone. I need to know and deeply trust a person before I could even entertain the idea so Tinder & co are out of the question. What's the answer!!!

Yours sincerely,
A should-be Love Honey shareholder xx

 

[LaBlonde]

Oh god nooo the safety aspect is so scary! As time goes on I'm more weird about people knowing where I live and having them in my space

Good luck on the apps my queen 🫡 I totally feel you with the ✨️yearning✨️ setting in sometimes!!

exactly! i hate when you’re two messages in on an app and they’re like ooo can we move this to whatsapp or ooo can we meet this weekend - dude, i do NOT know you. i feel like online dating comes with generally giving up a lot of info about yourself to a stranger and i just don’t care for it on any level.

thank you 🫡 it’s hard out there for us yearners

 

[LaBlonde]

Good for you, but I wasn't speaking for everybody. I was replying to the poster above about her self-doubt comment and speaking within that context.

i think your point was fair tbh! i “doubt” myself in the way that, as your post said, society and other people imply that i should be doubting myself. it isn’t genuine doubt from my own heart but more general just wanting other people to stop commenting on my life (if that makes any sense )

i do find, as i think i said a few pages back, that a lot of people eventually tell on themselves with what they really feel about long-term singleness and that only amplifies what i feel sometimes. like people will say to my face that it’s great that i’m independent and such but in the next breath will say something catty about another colleague or person we know being single for a while (i even see it with posters here) and it always makes me think okay so what do you truly think?!? are they just paying lip service to make me feel “better”?!

i think everyone’s relationship with it all is different and nuanced and i’ll never understand how or why it’s one of those things that people feel perfectly happy making comments to me about. and it’s gotten so much worse as i’ve gotten older too.

 

[newtoyou]

I just don't like the idea of waking up with anyone. Morning breath etc.

This made me laugh I saw on another thread someone saying they love the smell of men’s bodies and was just like

 

[Remotecontrol]

[

It’s the same as dick pics. What woman has ever been sent a dick pic 3 messages in and thought “yes please”??

It’s tawdry. I feel like a lot of women perhaps go along with it as it seems to be the norm. It’s mad how accepted it is.

 

[newtoyou]

I don’t know about everyone else but I’d rather die alone than have three children with a man who wipes his dirty mouth on his T-shirt and forgets to change his pants. And I can confirm my kitchen in my lovely bougie single girl apartment is Weetabix crumb-free.

View attachment 3991082

“There were also issues with him not changing his pants daily” NOPE NOPE NOPE

I would think it’s a joke if I hadn’t seen so many Reddit posts about grown men not wiping their bums properly

 

[L3moning]

Is that drama really better than being alone?

I think some people are very bothered by the thought of being alone, so to them it might be.

Personally I don't mind being alone at all, for the most part.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I always find it quite telling when a woman posts a thank you to their husband on a birthday or anniversary (which is cringe in itself obviously) and says ‘thank you for everything you do’. That always seems really alien to me as my exes have never really done anything for me. They weren’t classic chauvinists but ‘nice guys’ who just let me do everything. Never again!

Plot twist, their partners probably do fuck all too

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

It's really disappointing to have truly cared about someone who ghosts. I had the same kind of experience as @LaBlonde and I think it scars you, maybe not forever but well I don't think I'd want to experience that level of pain again. Mine was back in 2020 when I was suddenly blocked out of the blue, just as lockdown took hold. It was the loneliest and distressed feeling I could recall. Knowing someone else was now number 1 and you're not worthy of an explanation is the pits. Nope, I hold my own heart tightly now.

 

[Thank(space)you]

I really wish I didn't want a relationship. I've got a great life, but I do want more kids, a relationship etc and I wish I didn't! Because it seems impossible. I don't have much free time so don't have many hobbies, which seems to be everyone's go to suggestions when you're single. And my friends are busy with their lives and their partners. So if anyone has any tips for me I'd appreciate it.

 

[susan1375]

My mum brought me up as a single mum. She said it was much easier than when she was with my dad. She only had one child (me) to look after. She could do what she wanted going on holiday, what she should spend her money on, food etc (he was abusive but it wasn’t recognised or much sympathy with in the 1970s). She was a strong lady.

 

[Fledgling Psycho]

I agree. So much of my life has been about how I should be instead of what I really am. Even if you get the man, it's for how long and woe betide you if you have an insecurity or a flat backside or and I read this one lately a Fupa (fat upper pussy area) the whole thing seems to be worse than a job you hate! Single is paradise in comparison.

 

[LaBlonde]

A lot of men are "identifying" as poly as an excuse to have access and sex to multiple women at once. No one dare question it in fear of being offensive. I can see right through these men.

yep. almost every poly relationship i’ve seen in life involves one man and multiple women. i feel like a woman with more than one boyfriend is incredibly rare (based on no evidence other than my own observations )

 

[Gym&Tonic]

This talk of friends reminds me of a (no longer) close friend. I helped her leave her partner with the practical stuff. He was kicking her and the (4) kids out over him leaving the house. She had gave up her career to raise the kids and had no money. I sorted a solicitor out, benefits, everything. Anyway…she started to be a bit quiet. Said she was meeting this male friend that she volunteered with. She even had a night away with him. I knew they were clearly together at this point but she didn’t say anything. I couldn’t understand the secrecy and tried speaking to her about how distant she was becoming with me well needless to say we’re no longer friends because she put him first but I got all the blame. I don’t know why people change so much.

Clearly she’s one of those women who can’t be alone and needs validation from a man. I find that quite pathetic actually.