Scousebird blogs #15 Scouse Bird: The Joe Exotic of Merseyside

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Bonmarche

Bonmarche

My fellow DAB's, I am Mike Hunt and I am BACK after been banned on here!! :) :)

Well my golly gosh what a few weeks it has been. Next door to ourselves the shop has OFFICIALLY opened!!! After carrying out market research we can confirm on average the shop has 5 customers a day, they are doing a rip-roaring trade!!!

I can also confirm that in her basement alongside the shower room, Mrs ISLEEPWITHANYONE has fitted a beautiful double bed, courtesy of Bensons for Beds and a glowing LED right light. She is now not only offering goods in her shop, but for £4.99 she is offering a special service to ALL men downstairs plus they also get a free scousebird 1998 diary.

I can also confirm after speaking to several high profile people that her daughter has seen her mother on average 3 hours per week over the last 8 weeks, each time she leaves her alone to play with her dolls that were purchased from Oxfam whilst her mother posts insta stories and leaves dirty sanitary towels on the floor.

I have missed you all so much

Much Love

Mike x
 
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Trollinell

Trollinell

Bonmarche said:
My fellow DAB's, I am Mike Hunt and I am BACK after been banned on here!! :) :)

Well my golly gosh what a few weeks it has been. Next door to ourselves the shop has OFFICIALLY opened!!! After carrying out market research we can confirm on average the shop has 5 customers a day, they are doing a rip-roaring trade!!!

I can also confirm that in her basement alongside the shower room, Mrs ISLEEPWITHANYONE has fitted a beautiful double bed, courtesy of Bensons for Beds and a glowing LED right light. She is now not only offering goods in her shop, but for £4.99 she is offering a special service to ALL men downstairs plus they also get a free scousebird 1998 diary.

I can also confirm after speaking to several high profile people that her daughter has seen her mother on average 3 hours per week over the last 8 weeks, each time she leaves her alone to play with her dolls that were purchased from Oxfam whilst her mother posts insta stories and leaves dirty sanitary towels on the floor.

I have missed you all so much

Much Love

Mike x
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This has finished me 😂😂😂😂😂
 
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cbdgummybear

cbdgummybear

Bonmarche said:
My fellow DAB's, I am Mike Hunt and I am BACK after been banned on here!! :) :)

Well my golly gosh what a few weeks it has been. Next door to ourselves the shop has OFFICIALLY opened!!! After carrying out market research we can confirm on average the shop has 5 customers a day, they are doing a rip-roaring trade!!!

I can also confirm that in her basement alongside the shower room, Mrs ISLEEPWITHANYONE has fitted a beautiful double bed, courtesy of Bensons for Beds and a glowing LED right light. She is now not only offering goods in her shop, but for £4.99 she is offering a special service to ALL men downstairs plus they also get a free scousebird 1998 diary.

I can also confirm after speaking to several high profile people that her daughter has seen her mother on average 3 hours per week over the last 8 weeks, each time she leaves her alone to play with her dolls that were purchased from Oxfam whilst her mother posts insta stories and leaves dirty sanitary towels on the floor.

I have missed you all so much

Much Love

Mike x
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Hang on!?! I never got a free diary?! Just a bar of crappy How Are We chocolate and scabs on my hairy fanny pen!
 
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Asevithankstome

Asevithankstome

At £4.80 for a can of milk thistle and glucose they’ve gotta be paying her mortgage cos that shop of shite sounds empty.
 
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cbdgummybear

cbdgummybear

Asevithankstome said:
At £4.80 for a can of milk thistle and glucose they’ve gotta be paying her mortgage cos that shop of shite sounds empty.
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I was just about to come here about that little can of piss! Grab a lucazade from home and bargain for 49p and a maccies. That preserve jam she’s selling is like the middle class tit we used to sell in Debenhams and every year it would go back into the stockroom. That’s literally everything she sells in that shop would end up in totes
 
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Sk8rBoi

Sk8rBoi

Sorry Screff but you weren’t turning people away from your shop because you’d sold out of a fad hangover cure drink. In reality I imagine 1 person came in and asked “Hi is there any Inside Out drink I’ve seen you advertise available” and Screff replied *cackle cackle cackle, big gulp “Sorry we’re sold out *cackle but we sell bleep mugs hairy fanny pens, duck the tor....wait where you going I’ve got scran and pink coffee that looks like watery nesquick, fancy a shower??? Come bacccck”
That’s how this went down and nobody will tell me otherwise.
 
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Bonmarche

Bonmarche

So we have just found out that the STD fanny Steph is selling INSIDE OUT at £4.50 per can! Whereby if you go on insideoutdrinks.co.uk then it is 3 cans for £8.99, basically £2.99 per can!!

I have also noticed this morning that she has hired her daughter to post some stories, how strange after all the comments on here she suddenly posts her daughter, I think I heard Cora saying "who is this woman in my bed, I only know my daddy, my mummy is always drunk or in bed with other men!" :)
 
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T

TheGhostofShirleyBallas

Bonmarche said:
So we have just found out that the STD fanny Steph is selling INSIDE OUT at £4.50 per can! Whereby if you go on insideoutdrinks.co.uk then it is 3 cans for £8.99, basically £2.99 per can!!

I have also noticed this morning that she has hired her daughter to post some stories, how strange after all the comments on here she suddenly posts her daughter, I think I heard Cora saying "who is this woman in my bed, I only know my daddy, my mummy is always drunk or in bed with other men!" :)
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Not seen this yet, do Jeff's (natural) lips move when Cora talks, or are we talking a quality Keith Harris and Orville the Duck act here?
 
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Asevithankstome

Asevithankstome

TheGhostofShirleyBallas said:
Not seen this yet, do Jeff's (natural) lips move when Cora talks, or are we talking a quality Keith Harris and Orville the Duck act here?
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Oh you can see her naturally full lips allright!

Hahahaha!! An actual tourist has just been in after seeing “something” in the window and didn’t care what flavour it was she just wanted to take it home. Unlike Jeff to not share the product and make it her best seller. Give it an hour and it’ll be “Loads of youz have been asking what it was....” Next big thing....”People come from far and wide to buy something out of my window”
 
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StormSolitaire

StormSolitaire

cbdgummybear said:
I was just about to come here about that little can of piss! Grab a lucazade from home and bargain for 49p and a maccies. That preserve jam she’s selling is like the middle class tit we used to sell in Debenhams and every year it would go back into the stockroom. That’s literally everything she sells in that shop would end up in totes
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I never ‘got’ half those Xmas gifts in Debenhams and BHS! Was always middle class tit that should have been in Fortnum and Mason or somewhere mixed with weird shite like books about farting! it looked like Secret Santa fodder but was about £15- £5 too much for secret santa! My mum worked in the department stores in town and there’d be random tombolas with the staff trying to shift stuff like Crystallised Ginger and Teabag set or that ‘humorous’ range called Old Git! Remember the massive soaps with Face on one side and Arse on the other but they’d be on the same display rack as some oil of evening primrose bathsalts 😂
 
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S

SoggyWeather

StormSolitaire said:
What is insideout anyway? Snake Oil or like a lucozade type drink? Is it a well known brand?
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I've tried it, it's tit and doesn't work. I bought 3 cans directly from inside out. Guzzled 2 cans before a night out and nearly died still the next day. It's like a healthy juice drink, tastes like tit too 😂
 
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TheGhostofShirleyBallas

Asevithankstome said:
Oh you can see her naturally full lips allright!

Hahahaha!! An actual tourist has just been in after seeing “something” in the window and didn’t care what flavour it was she just wanted to take it home. Unlike Jeff to not share the product and make it her best seller. Give it an hour and it’ll be “Loads of youz have been asking what it was....” Next big thing....”People come from far and wide to buy something out of my window”
Click to expand...
A tourist? But the hotels are closed....
 
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