It’s recap time
so Sarah has now been renamed Marjorie Dawes from little Britain.
She survives on a thing called a chipper burger, lawwsawwgna and Tokyo fries
She somehow is a single mother even though her child goes to his dad
Not telling us her weight anymore as she’s like a whores knickers up and down.
Started an email subscription newsletter and literally can’t spell her name
She works 12 hour shifts but noone has any proof.
Am convinced her son is a hologram as he’s never there
Has more bubbles than an aero,
Mother in hospital with blood pressure she cured her with a chipper burger and salt
Stares into the distance like she’s smelling a fart when she wants to look serious.
Charges 9€ upfront for a zoom call and you to weigh yourself,
Thinks she can be on love island!
She’s now a counsellor as we are all psychotic
Dances like a
bleeping 3 legged horse around the kitchen
Got caught by her clock lying
She deffo ties her Fitbit to her hologram dog to get those steps
Sends her bikey named dog to crèche
Can’t stop on about the runaway bride wedding
Lives in a pair of shorts that we will have to kango hammer off her
Still thinks she is a business owner with a cash box and a weighing scales
And lastly tells her child it was tough to be his mother!!!
what a classy
bleep 
