Ruby Granger #36 Pumpkin Bread Activity

[bookworm39]

I don't think she'll have donated a penny, personally. She'd have been screaming from the rooftops about it if she had instead of refusing to confirm if she actually paid for anything herself when she was asked if it was sponsored.

I expect she'll have contacted the museum, talked up how she has 700,000 subscribers, is SOCH A HYOOJ AMMILY DICKINSON FAN and would love to visit and see everything the museum has to offer to show it to her huge following. They said yes and she got free VIP tours and $200 writing experience perks in exchange for advertising the museum. It was just an undeclared ad dressed up as a job and another opportunity she earned through privilege.

The only thing she'll have paid for herself would be flights and accommodation. That's another benefit of her privileged circumstances - the average person would never have a spare 2 weeks and £3,000 to blow on a museum visit to pad their CV. Plus she will have undoubtedly claimed back her flights and accommodation as business expenses since they were for "YEECHEEB WAAHRK".

It's also no coincidence that with anything she's ever done that she's ever claimed was work (Pumpkin Bread Activity, the museum thing, her teaching job, her JHAUN JAHRMAYNN transcription internship, etc.), she's been extremely cagey, avoided saying what she actually did, embellished wildly about the nature of her role and how involved she was or just outright lied about it.

She's never done even half a day's work in her entire life, but her CV says she's a CEO, teacher, researcher, voice actor, charity ambassador, social media strategist, lion tamer, deep-sea diver, the third person into space (when she was TWALVE!), inventor of the candle snuffer, first person to colonise Australia (WHAN SHE WAS TWALVE), founder of Unicef, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize (AT TWALVE!!!), 17-time Poet Laureate, Emily Dickinson's ghost writer, recipient of the Victoria Cross for outstanding valour in combat, and god knows what else. It's all just fake jobs, sham vanity gigs created by her management or woefully low-effort, unimpressive projects that she's embellished beyond reality.

Maybe it just still hurts because I actually had to sit down and finish doing my taxes for 2021 before sending the file to the tax office, a task I hate because it's so boring and confusing (think Bernard in Black Books attempting to do his accounts. That's me getting my tax forms sorted) But I really can't see her sitting down and filling in a tax form, that would be waaaay too grown-up for her! Only adults file taxes.

 

[Redrose97]

I've been watching Ruby's old videos in the background when I've been studying and I was watching an old university get ready for me video and she is doing her planning. She speaks about making a list of 'goals' for her security such as not walking home alone at night etc, and I just found it a bit odd to make that a 'goal.' Does she make a list for everything? How much does she actually accomplish with all these lists and this planning that she sets for herself? It just makes me wonder, how much time does she spend wasted on planning things, making all these lists for routines, goals, etc?

 

[theMoth]

Also, anything could be a placebo effect like drinking tea before bed and using a pillow mist but go off Rudy

has looking at books also a placebo effect?

 

[DrinaM]

Since when are pink and green opposites?

I think the little brat is talking about on the colour wheel. But actually red is opposite to green.
She doesn't understand that if one has to explain their imaginative language, it hasn't worked. Its not creative, its just plain stupid lol

 

[pinkmug]

Erimentha Parker Chapter 17:

Plot -
- The girls are in textiles and are making felt. Kimberly asks to borrow the bottle of soapy water. Ruby says no and she will have to wait. Kimberly takes the orange soap water and sprays it on Ruby. Kimberly threatens to spray it on Ruby's face unless she admits she is scared of her.
- Things get a bit weird, dark and unrealistic. Kimberly takes Ruby to the bathroom to help her 'clean up'. She then blocks the door and shows Ruby she smuggled a sewing needle into her jumper. She threatens Ruby and basically makes Ruby agree to lie and not tell her parents what happened to her shirt. I have included the full quote of her "stabbing" Ruby because it is just weird, unnecessary and just completely the wrong tone for a book aimed at kids. Just remember as well its a needle, not a knife
- After that whole event, Ruby changes into her spare uniform and throws away the orange stained shirt so her mum won't find out
- Ruby starts spending her lunches sat next to Ella in the library (Kimberly's younger sister who is year 5 I think?)
- One day Ruby goes to the library and Ella is crying. Turns out she is being bullied by two girls in her class. Ruby says they should tell her teacher. Ella asks if Ruby will tell a teacher about her bullying as well and Ruby says no, saying she isn't being bullied and that she is older and can cope with it (great advice to give a kid ...)
- Ella is scared to tell the teacher and Ruby decides to let the child continue being bullied since it might not fully be counted as repetitive yet

Quotes -
- "On Wednesday, we make felt in textiles and, as is customary, I am rather ahead of my classmates" (I have no words)
- "For a second I just stare blankly, unable to comprehend the hatred in those icy eyes"
- "A broken stream of rich orange flies in an arch between us and the dye seeps through the cotton of my shirt like blood from a wound" (Ruby please stop reminding me of working in surgery I hate this)
- "She stops and directs the nozzle at my face, holding it so close that it is blurry: light focused behind the retina"
- "Before I have a chance to move away, she has grabbed my wrist sharply. My carpal bone aches against her strong hands" (I am begging you please stop)
- "She takes the needle and hovers it over the inside of my arm, tracing the skin in mid air as though deciding the best point of contact. Then she lowers it: carefully and deliberately. The tip of the needle presses so hard against the sallow epithelial tissue that a depression forms in the skin. Applying the same pressure, she moves down my arm, leaving a trail of white and I watch quietly. She pauses when she reaches my central forearm, her eyes boring into my forehead, and mine focused on the needle: mesmerised. She pushes down. Hard. It pierces the skin and a bead of blood swells from the pinprick, growing to the size of a pea before trickling down towards the crease of my elbow. She washes the needle under the tap and threads it back through her jumper as I nurse the small wound with my mouth, wincing at the metallic crimson on my tongue" (small PSA, if you do get a sharps injury from a dirty needle like this, please don't lick the blood, let the wound bleed and then wash it and get medical assistance)
- "My epiglottis seizes up, as though I have swallowed a tablet withiut water"

This is psychotic.

 

[emmer_moans]

But remember when the longest she made it away from her parents at uni was 3 weeks and she didn't have half as much real work to do rip mummy and daddy bones, hope you like sleeping in your van in front of the college every weekend

The porter will be asking them "get off the grass"

 

[DrinaM]

I also need to know just how big Erimentha's bag is if Ruby expected readers to believe she can somehow cart around an entire spare uniform, a full PE kit, all her planners, books, stationary supplies, etc. in a regular school bag.

And the funniest thing is that Ruby lies about doing this herself; there's been many videos where she claims to AWHLWHEYS take stacks of books, attack alarms, water bottles, giant stationery kits, gifted snack bars, the entire range of PUNKY PLODDINGTREE products, post-it notes, backup planners, spare jumpers, etc., then claims she also puts huge binders of old schoolwork in there, all in one standard-sized Kånken.



Footage of Erimentha getting "knocked unconscious" in PE.

View attachment 2007334

Erimentha totally took a dive to play the victim.

lol tbh Erimentha seems like the type to take a dive like that in PE. Every class has one.

Her bag must have some kind of Mary Poppins carpet bag type situation going on.
---

Not once has a doctor in history ever said anything like this whatsoever

I'm surprised the doctor didn't take her around A&E and have her re-set some bones and suture up some wounds.

 

[StatusWoe]

Interestingly she goes on a run while waiting for the cake, would anyone else do this? I'd be worrying about something happening when I was gone, but that's just me maybe, I have a temperamental oven and I'm a floor sitter while baking

Same as you. But I'm assuming there were other people in the house who could check on it?

You could clone your own Roobee out of a tooth!

This is the stuff of nightmares! It also sounds like one of Ruby's half-hearted craft projects: ''create your own tooth figurine.'' Then one night you recite The Raven three times and it comes to life. HALLO IT'S TOOTHBEE.

 

[berkeleymoon87]

I found this job posting from 30+ days ago (the submission deadline was January 4, 2023). It's the only recent job posting I've seen for the school. I wonder if this is what she was hired for. It's part time, a temporary contract, etc. I'm definitely not sure, however. Ruby is only listed as "English" and it's really vague what she does and how her schedule is so short and flexible.

Also a zero hours contract means that she's not required to be there or get hours if they don't have any for the employee to work.

 

[Calabria]

If I had to read this thesis worthy review on Erimentha then you lot do too!
I’ve numbered the THIRTEEN screenshots in case they upload out of offer… may the odds be ever in your favour.

Spoiler: StoryGraph Review

 

[VallegGirl]

OMG she's still going on about Alexander Pope potentially being a Romantic poet! Like, she says she read somewhere that there's some debate as to whether he is or he isn't! I can't even.

She read somewhere? No source found then Rubes. Yup, how very scholarly- not. I read somewhere Ruby is smug. Source could possibly be found here????

 

[Ilaariaa]

I think she will get in, and then we will get daily vlogs of her walking Oxford streets, with camera perched on the pavement as she walks by with her nose pointed high in the air, her childish long hair matted and swishing, perhaps she will also cosplay as Lyra Belacqua, pretending she has a little daemon of her own.

She'll then vlog herself making dry as hell toast for her LANCH and talk about how ASSTHETIC Oxford is. She'll misquote and act out any poetry that describes Oxford.

I think she'll get in and inevitably crash and burn when reality is not what she dreamed of or expected

 

[gossip_guy]

Wait what??? When was she scranning a five guys burger ?! I can understand accidentally having something which contains honey, but baiting herself out eating actual meat is crazy.

About a year ago she was posting on Instagram that she went to Five Guys with mummy, but that she posted a disclaimer that she kept it vegan by removing the cheese from a veggie burger. Only they make it pretty clear everywhere that they make all their buns with dairy. Whoops.

 

[zoeanned]

The comments I saw were mostly from her adoring fans, I imagine she’s been on it nonstop to delete any and all even vaguely negative comments. It gained traction for some reason so there must have been all kinds of comments.

It seems a bit odd it’s been deleted then, she still has OOTD TikTok’s with hundreds of negative comments, and one of her doing yoga by a service station which also had a pretty negative reception. Maybe it was found by her students (but that would be true of all her content if so)?

 

[laynelo_]

I can't believe she actually doesn't know how to pronounce aurora borealis and doesn't care enough to look it up? English is not my native language and it's still ridiculous to me. I can't imagine not knowing something so basic in my own language and happily broadcasting it for everyone to see

One of her most annoying traits. It’s just pure laziness. Whenever I don’t know how to pronounce a word/name I look it up, it takes a minute in google. Even more so I would look it up if I was broadcasting it to people. People will correct her and she’ll hit back with the passive aggressive ‘it’s jussst my accent! Or I didn’t know!!’

 

[figgypud]

Her use of 'obviously' really fucks me off because she pretty much only uses it to imply that her opinion should be the unanimous opinion.

"Great Expectations, obviously" - why is it obvious?

Also she moved her head by accident and the filter counted it as a decision - just restart it, it was literally the first option on the filter??

 

[ariawyn]

Ehh I see where you’re coming from but I’m a writer (in a more serious way than Ruby is, anyway) and those competitions just aren’t for everybody. Sometimes the rules to any given one are too restrictive, they don’t fit your own personal style, and sometimes you just don’t want to take time away from your chosen product to write and polish something that’s not a priority and might not even win. Personally I never enter them because short stories aren’t my thing, either, which just makes the whole thing more of a ball ache than it would already be for the reasons above. They don’t seem to be her thing either. I don’t know many in my writing circles who do bother with them unless it’s a friend of theirs with a big IG following running it and they want to be supportive. I know for a lot of people I know, too, the cost of entering isn’t worth it these days.

Although cost isn’t a big factor in Ruby’s case. I also doubt she’d be able to handle not winning, and it sounds like she’s starting to recognise that she probably wouldn’t win based on how things are going lately.

 

[DrinaM]

View attachment 1946110

I thank this commenter for speaking facts. Its true. You can't read 17 books properly in a month. Even including the YA fiction ones.

 

[StatusWoe]

I have never understood the attraction of her planners at all when every book or stationary store offers something nicer, not to mention all the choices on the internet. They look so plain and cheap to me.

I'd rather spend my money on an actual pumpkin.

 

[Ilaariaa]

Erimentha Parker Chapter 15:

Plot -

- We join Ruby in church where they are learning to forgive their enemies and not be bitter
- Now we are at Kimberley's family BBQ. The mum tells Ruby and Nathan to go play with the other kids in the front room
- Ruby tells Kimberly off for wearing shoes in her own house
- They go to Kimberly's room which unsurprisingly according to Ruby is very messy. There is clothes and makeup everywhere. Kimberly minds her own business and goes to apply some lipstick. Ruby decides to butt in and say most lipsticks are made from whale blubber ( a quick google search proves this to not be the case anymore and hasn't been for a long time)
- Kimberly tells her not to tell them facts in her house, and then draws on Ruby's face with the lipstick. Beth then takes a photo of her. They say it is for Instagram and Ruby goes on another fact rant saying she hasn't consented to the photo to be shared, and that the girls aren't old enough for Instagram anyways so they are breaking the law twice. One of the other bullies filmed Ruby's rant
- Ruby asks if they can turn the other cheek and be friends
- Kimberly asks Ruby to sit down at the dressing table and Beth covers her eyes. The girls then cut off a chunk of her hair. They joke that they needed the hair for a voodoo doll and Ruby leaves the room to go find Nathan.

Quotes -
- "Pastor Michael's words ring with the doorbell when we arrive at Kimberly's house"
- "I internally criticise the silk, knowing that silkworms were boiled alive to obtain the fabric"
- "She smiles at me - a white toothy smile which doesn't extend to those cold, blue irises"
- "She looks at me intently for a few seconds and then draws a thick, bulbous line of magenta wax across my cheek, pressing so hard that the skin distorts upwards and stings" (Ruby's skin must be made of tissue paper because I don't think anyone's skin has ever been distorted by a fucking lipstick)
- "Her sickly sweet words dissipate over the bedroom, getting stuck in that repulsive pile of clothes"
- "Beth and Gia help me to the table as if I am suffering with acute arthritis"
- "Beth holds her hands over my eyes and I can smell chocolate on them. I wonder when she last washed them and fight against my gag reflex"
- "I've always kept my hair exactly the same length all of the way around and this loss of order makes me feel sick"

It seems to me that Erimentha's unpleasantness jumps up significantly in this chapter lol