Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[bananapeel]

The highly-prized school desk has disappeared already?

 

[VallegGirl]

I feel Rubee's perception of herself as introverted is probably not inaccurate but I believe perception has now moved towards fixation and justification. I can't help but feel she is using this to justify why she made so little of her gap year. I think she felt that a first was in and of itself sufficient to get into Oxford. I think she failed to recognise that she needed to have put this year to better use and how important this would be in her statement. Just my view but what other excuse could she provide?
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Ugh

Yet another I didn't mean that I meant that. Enough Ruby. My advice to her. Recognise and acknowledge you failed to contextualise the book. It's OK to get things 'wrong'. It doesn't make you less able academically. In fact quite the reverse it makes you more able.

 

[zoeanned]

Everything is illuminated:

 

[pinkmug]

Imagine being a uni graduate and writing an essay on your resume for your experiences as head girl. She really needs to get over it.

 

[berkeleymoon87]

People like Ruby make me wonder if I've been underestimating my ability to get into an Ivy League for my masters or PhD. I've always felt like a fraud or that I'm not good enough even though I've always done well academically. Maybe sometimes you just have to be delusional enough to believe that you can make it. Lol. However, I wonder how much of that delusion comes from living comfortably and just being able to pursue your goals freely without the fear of being broke or paying back loans for the rest of your life.

 

[babynymeria]

She gave one star to The Pilgrims Progress… one of the most influential books within the english working class and its development. This girl completely misses how context can format greatness. She has a right to not enjoy certain things, but to discredit it with that star rating is absurd to me.

 

[StatusWoe]

I’m sorry but it is so embarrassing seeing Ruby wear vineyard vines when in the US it’s associated with douchebag frat bros and rich old white people. I know she got it when she was in Boston but it’s just so out of touch to be wearing that when she’s talking about how people back then lived in poverty.

I didn't notice. Was too distracted wondering why she's dressed like a Benedictine monk.

 

[theMoth]

Isn't it also Cain, who killed Abel - and not Cane?

maybe he was killed with a cane?

 

[gossip_guy]

Did anyone hear mother granger tell Ruby in a cross voice to 'clean up your paintbrush'? Its during the part when Roob was making herself the bowl of noodles

Its around 13mins 12 seconds. Sounds like 'You could clean up your paintbrush at least'

Rusty furniture all over every inch of the garden, unwashed clutter all over the house, grime and dust on every surface, random food waste in every nook and cranny, but a paintbrush on the kitchen table is where Mummy Bones draws the fucking line.

What a family. Like watching evolution in reverse.

 

[vwxyz]

Why is she moving a black piece despite having white pawns how is that a chess game without any piece of an opponent how is that a chess game without any king if she doesn't know basic chess rules, why doesn't she ask anyone for help to set up a realistic game why does she always think nobody else notices why am I feeling so desperate even though it shouldn't matter

 

[Griftwood]

Oh god she still pronounces ”cuckoo” as ”cuck you” I physically cannot

also she doesn’t understand why so much of a bird book is concerned with describing what the birds looks like I mean it’s not like they didn’t have cameras in 1797

 

[theMoth]

I sometimes wonder how Martha is doing

 

[gossip_guy]

As far as I can remember, someone called her out on the board not making any sense, and she replied with something about ”this is just staged for the photo, we only play chess at night” In the dark? Where no one can see?

Yup!

And don't forget her terrible chess short story, where she showed she doesn't understand how any of the pieces move or what pawns look like:

 

[ECH]

I appreciate that Jade is more adult, but to say she is the most well-rounded is such a stretch, I'm sorry. She's still a product of extreme privilege and a smug idiot who refuses to learn in a way that isn't insanely performative and teachable. The key difference is that she's not into age regression and travels away from parents. (albeit in a global pandemic)

Jade is the most delusional easily. Blinded by privilege and thinks that she's teaching people about menopause. Eve Bennett is probably the most well rounded - got a first, has friends and goes out, isn't afraid to travel alone, and knows how to balance YouTube and real life. Jade, Ruby, Eve Cornwell, and Jack are all idiots and wouldn't survive a day in the 'real' world outside of their upper class studytube bubble.

 

[Poguely]

Yeah this. I think its going to be very difficult for her. Especially if Oxford rejects her Masters application. I worked and did my Masters, but it was Masters by course work and the modules of the course work were very much in line with the field I work in. I think English lit is solely Masters by thesis. Not sure tho, I did my Masters in an Australian university.

Oxford in and of itself is a very different experience than any other university in the world, and not because it's so oh famous and elite, but because it is legitimately structured differently. It has extremely short terms (7 weeks) in which everything is crammed in. You have a set paper or test for every class, every single week, that contributes to your grade. And these aren't silly little papers -- you could literally have up to five 2000 word essays. Every. Single. Week. It is so intense that at undergraduate level students are actually not allowed to have a job during term time.

And even then, Ruby doesn't make it easy for herself. If her undergraduate is anything to judge by, she applies to the top, oversubscribed colleges who have the pick of the litter. If you don't have the strongest application but you really want to attend Oxford, you should apply to one of the smaller, more modern Oxford Colleges because your chances of admittance would improve tenfold. But of course Roobles didnt do that. She applied to Oriel College, one of the 'Hogwarts' colleges that everybody applies to, which she had next to no chance of getting offered one of the 12 English lit spots they have. Then to add insult to injury, messed up her interview so badly that they didn't even put her forward for consideration at another college.

She'll do the same thing this time. Instead of applying. Instead of applying to a lower performing college like Mansfield, or even a mid-tier college like Lincoln, she'll apply for something like Merton -- the Oxford of Oxford -- because in her own deluded mind only the best is worthy of her, then have a meltdown again when she doesn't get in.

 

[gossip_guy]

The same posts about her walking in the mist is getting rather boring Also, I feel like her teaching job might just be an online tutoring thing which is why it's only a few days a week and she seems to be doing everything from home.

Currently picturing Ruby sat on a Zoom call with some unfortunate Sixth Form student fan for a paid tutoring session.

Ruby: "Syo...tyoodyay wee aree gyowing tyoo bee larrning about Wothering Hoyts, which is a tryooly acksquisat bock which oiy have JANUINELY rad manny toiymes. [Ruby pretends to have internet connection issues so she can quickly research the book on Sparknotes and then parrots that information to the student.]"
Student: "Sorry, quick question: You said "in lieu of" as though it means "in honour of", but I think that actually means "instead of"? Also, "Emily" has no letter "A" in it, how come you keep calling her "Ammily Brawntyay"?"
Ruby: [Pulls the plug on the computer, cries for several hours to mummy over this horrific bullying experience, then calls in sick for the next 6 months of tutor sessions.]

It honestly wouldn't shock me if Ruby went into a teaching session with an earpiece while she made Blakeney hide in the bushes outside to Cyrano all of Ruby's lectures for her.

 

[gossip_guy]

It's the weekly Ruby Bones denial, lies and idiocy video!

"And YASS, oiy DYOO read whoiylst brosshing moiy teeth."

Nahh, not any more believable or less stupid and pathetic the 4,893th time she's said it.

"OIY LOFF BOHKS, syoo this is DAFFINITELY sommthing oiy want tyo be dyoing."

Sure, Jan.

Ruby: "Avveryone in moiy house is yoosually aslyeep at this toime (because they are varry lazy and onnamployed, onloike moiysalf who wahhrks varry hard) syo oiy awhlwheys wohrry that I'm being tyoo loud."
Also Ruby: (Blasts Tory news through Google Home and spends 45 minutes passive-aggressively arguing with an AI at loud volumes in the room next to her parents rather than use ear buds or non-voice-controlled radio or get ready in one of the 789 unoccupied rooms on the opposite side of her family mansion.)

Makes sense.

Ruby: "Wahhring sonncream is impworetant."
Also Ruby: (Applies a very thin layer of sun cream only to her face, not putting any on her ears, neck, hands or anywhere past her jawline.)

Mmhmm.

Ruby: "THAN oiy make moiy bad--oiy CAHN'T start the dyay without myaking moiy bad."
Also Ruby: (Has changed her bedsheets once in the past 2 years.)

Ruby: "Moiy favourite gryeen tea is the MwOaOww...fWeAngHh gryeen tea from Tea Pigs."
Ad declaration: [Missing]
(Ruby even moans that this tea is more expensive than her previous favourite green tea, implying that she bought it, but conveniently avoids mentioning that Tea Pigs have gifted her years' worth of teas.)

"Oiy'm...troiying tyoo read a lyoad of of middull grwayde bocks at the myoment syo oiy can rackommand tham tyo the styudents."

Umm...I thought she JANUINELY read 346 books a year and LOVES books AVVER SYO MOCH and reads nothing but middle-grade and below books, so why does she have no existing book recommendations in her vacant brain? Why is she pre-prepping a list of books to recommend to children unrelated to the job at hand?

Ruby when she's JOHST WYOKEN OPP. NYO FRACKLES.

THE NAXXT DYAY. FAKE FRACKLES AVVERYWHAHHR.

Why wasn't this part included in your morning makeup routine, Ruberto?

Ruby claims she needs to "reesaarch" something every day just for herself, so researches Friday the Thaarteenth, to learn all about Jason Voorhees--I mean, paraskevidekatriaphobia, or "Paris Geller Deck-o-Dryer Phobia", as Ruby calls it. Ruby recently claimed she learned everything about this word when she was 12, so I'm confused why she'd need to relearn this information at 22.

Unsurprisingly, she's managed to turn Friday the 13th into an excuse to pontificate if the real meaning of the day is being afraid of not being 12 anymore, because the number 12 is "associated with completeness". This all seems like stuff Ruby should be discussing with a therapist, given her obsessive fixation with being 12 and befriending 12-year-olds.

Ruby: "Oiy troiy tyo gat a little bit of FRASH AH--[abrupt cut]"

It's good for "mantle halth", apparently. Ruby claims she's always sure to be very attentive to everything around her when she's roaming her garden, yet never seems to notice the apocalyptic wasteland of mess, detritus, rusty trash and discarded furniture all over her yard.

Ruby: "Syo. Oiy've got into cwoffee."
Ruby: (Holds up a container of Grind coffee to show the logo as clearly as possible, then does an extended show-off of her Grind coffee machine.)
Ad declaration: [Missing]

Reminder: Grind coffee gifted Ruby (and other Sixteenth-repped influencers) her coffee pod machine. Conveniently unmentioned, along with failing to mention that this coffee was no doubt gifted, too.

Ad declaration: [Missing]

After preparing this gifted coffee with gifted milk using a gifted machine, Ruby claims it was SYO GOOD! This is her go-to phrase for praising gifted stuff she doesn't like or use. She takes a mouthful of coffee, swills it about awkwardly like she doesn't want to swallow it, then there's a hard cut.

After the cut, she's smiling nervously, like someone on a reality TV show trying to summon the courage to down a shot of liquified donkey dick to win a jungle challenge.

Then she takes another strawful and cuts away before it even makes it to her mouth.

This is not the normal behaviour of someone drinking a coffee or sampling a drink they enjoy regularly; this is someone trying to advertise a product they can't stand trying desperately to cut around herself spitting out mouthfuls into the sink after every sip. Then the same thing happens a third time. She takes a mouthful, swills it in her mouth, ballooning her cheeks like a hamster, then cuts away. She does this every time she drinks tea or coffee - there's a hell of a lot of swilling, chewing and trying to avoid actually drinking it and very little evidence that she actually enjoys them.

After another ad for PONKIN' PLODDITIFFTY, Rubert goes on one of her patented rambles about how she AWLWHEYS keeps her room tidy, even as she shows it cluttered with 406 dirty mugs which she never took the tea bags out of for some reason. She claims it only takes her 5 minutes to clean her room because she AWLWHEYS stays on top of mess, even though her room constantly looks like a dusty tomb littered with mess and dead flies.

I think what she means is that she has an incredibly low standard for what she considers clean. After all, in this video, she showed that she considered lazily dabbing at spilt ink with a dry napkin to be a sufficient and thorough means of cleaning it from her white desk.

Ad declaration: [Missing]

What an embarrassing mess of lies, fabricated events, fake timelines and utter stupidity.

 

[Whisper2Me]

I was looking at Ruby's Insta story earlier and she is showing, or bragging, that she is 270+ pages into The Brothers Karamazov. Is she utterly proud of herself for reading a book longer than 50 pages? I mean, she goes on and on about how much she loves the classics and Victorian Lit., but the average Victorian novel is over 400 pages and if you start getting into Russian Lit you might as well expect something 600 pages or much, much longer. She really has lived her life under a rock. How can you act amazed about this when you already have your BA in English Lit? I'm so confused.

 

[DrinaM]

• I'm less than 50 seconds into her video and she has already misused a word: 'if you ascribe to that'... I think she means 'if you subscribe to that'
• She's workshopping her accent, heading into a Kate Middleton accent.
• Pilgrim's Progress is 'boring'???? wtf

She's actually not literary at all. Not bookish. Not smart. She has 0 respect for literature and language.
When she reads out the passages of letters or other texts, why does she feel the need to lend some drama to it. Her eyebrows be going all over the place. Does anyone remember that Cadbury chocolate ad with the kids and the eyebrows?

 

[theMoth]

Her hair is really trying to make a break for it once and for all.

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why is there a swan in the corner next to the bookshelf? is the swan okay?
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Totally off topic for Ruby, but I was recently rejected from 6 jobs I applied to and have been really struggling, so it makes me feel less alone to hear other people are going through the same thing. Sending you lots of love, stay strong and hopefully we’ll get through it

i applied for a number of jobs in the past month and got rejection after refection and now I am invited to a second interview (tomorrow) at a company I had an interview already. At the same time I got a call from another company to invite me (the interview is next Tuesday) and then I got an invitation to another (for Monday) ... all in 24 hours. what is going on?! lol I don't know if I get one of the jobs, but the invitations gave me an ego boost. Don't give up!!