Ruby Granger #35 Hello, it's Flu-bee!

[opal73]

Also if I were bullied quite often at my old school (which Ruby claims to have been) it wouldn't exactly be my first choice for a teaching job. Nevermind that it's probably the only place that would hire her with no questions asked since it's her old private school. It's a lot harder to fly under the radar when you're literally the teacher and I guarantee there's going to be at least one girl there smarter than her.

 

[irunforfun]

The most problematic issue (of many) is that if she is teaching English, surely she should have an understanding of English, understand what words mean and how to put them together, and have actually properly read the books???

 

[gossip_guy]

New thread suggestion:
Ruby Granger #36 [Lying] JANUINELY

It's Friday riddle time!

You're locked in a cell. There are two doors, each guarded by a Ruby.

One door leads to freedom, the other leads to a grisly death.

One Ruby always lies, the other Ruby always tells the truth.

You can ask the Rubies one question. What do you ask to find out which door will lead to freedom?

Trick question. There's no version of Ruby that tells the truth, and no matter what you ask, Ruby will just ignore your query and bore you to death with a factually incorrect, several-hour-long LACKCHURR about Victorian door handles instead.

 

[rubysdeadfly]

Ruby step away from my girl Cathy!

 

[slamvs27]

If she thinks being a good student means you're automatically a good teacher, she's in for a surprise. Does she even know how to make a lesson plan? Classroom management? First aid, mental health awareness? What about supporting students with learning needs? Explaining something in different words/ using a variety of resources? Does she even know what UDL is? What about students who have English as their second language? Students with dyslexia? An once of humility (what if someone asks her what "brine" is lmao)? Does she have an adaptable personality? Is she personable and fun?

She's none of these things. She's not a teacher- she's a disaster. And she's doing a disservice to her students who are gonna think English lit is some boring, stuffy subject that has no relation to the real world and reading is a lame hobby reserved for pretentious people like her.

 

[paulpercy666]

Guys I need to unwatch this thread, @gossip_guy’s Ruby impression is becoming my default internal monologue. Someone said something incorrect at work just now and my brain immediately went “um ACKSHULLY”

 

[exopolitics]

Yeah I was wondering what Ruby was making of the latest from Holly. But intimacy seems to be a topic she only speaks about in disapproving tones.


In my opinion, Jade is the most well-rounded of the studytubers. Traveling, meeting people and living (i think?) quite independently of her family. I know the travel is all part of the weird university she has chosen to study at, but at least she is living the life of a young adult. Its kinda sad, but look at Ruby's vids from the start to her latest one. 90% of them feature her childhood home/bedroom at some point. Even for work, she has returned to the school she attended as a child. The RV belongs to her parents. She makes her cups of tea in her parent's kitchen. Can't drive. Holding on to the childhood dream of going to Oxford.

Funny anecdote: My 18 year old cousin was here the other day when I was watching the latest Roob video about the book. He asked me who is that? And as a joke I said 'the girl of your dreams'. He said 'eeeew she's like 13 thats gross'. I told him her actual age and he said 'no way!'

I appreciate that Jade is more adult, but to say she is the most well-rounded is such a stretch, I'm sorry. She's still a product of extreme privilege and a smug idiot who refuses to learn in a way that isn't insanely performative and teachable. The key difference is that she's not into age regression and travels away from parents. (albeit in a global pandemic)

 

[Griftwood]

I suppose you could add it, if you wrote it in such a way that it highlighted the transferable skills you gained while being in that role. I don't know, things like organising events, managing teams, getting funding, that sort of thing. But just writing it down like that makes it sound really childish and like she's desperately trying to pad out her CV.

Yup, particularly as we know her trampolining society participation consisted of her going to one or two out of three weekly practice sessions in her final term and spending half an hour flopping around (out of a three-hour slot). She prioritised painting her nails and writing a letter to her yoga teacher, among other things.

 

[gossip_guy]

I doubt she was a very last-minute addition to the panel as she got the book in the autumn, she showed it in her ”Gilmore inspired” vlog. Maybe this is just another desperate attempt at rebranding - Sixteenth are trying like hell to get some kind of progress happening before she stagnates beyond repair.

Yeah, KGL announced the line-up as early as Jan 10th, too.

Ruby had plenty of time to properly prepare or consider how ill-suited she was and the panel organisers had plenty of time to research who she is and find a better candidate, so it's a failure on all fronts really.

If Ruby has any self-awareness, she'd realise that public speaking isn't her strong suit and would stick to pre-recorded appearances that can be rehearsed and heavily edited. She's clearly aware on some level that she's terrible in situations that require on-the-spot thinking and off-the-cuff responses - it's why she abandoned the book club after being hopelessly outmatched in Zoom discussions. Putting her in a room with intelligent adults will always be disastrous for her 'Oiy'm a genius!' image, and if she doesn't realise it, Sixteenth certainly should.

They should really advise her to ditch the Granger name as fast as possible, too; if her performance on the panel weren't embarrassing enough, her showing up to speak next to career academics with impressive CVs while she's sporting a fake surname stolen from a fictional 11-year-old and a faked list of career accomplishments is just cringe overload.

 

[laynelo_]

I think our of all the UK studytubers Ruby is the least grown up out of all of them, the majority of them came from a very wealthy background and were continually supported throughout their studies and uni applications all landing themselves in top unis (minus Jade). Alongside having the luxury of not needing to work alongside their academics nor needing to worry about if their degree will be able to land them a job or not.

At least with the likes of Jade and Holly they’ve travelled the world and have gained a lot of independence from doing such. Jack moved to Paris I believe which itself is a huge life change. Vee moved out and lives herself, Lydia seems to be enjoying uni whilst maiming a social life and as someone else mentioned, Paige is purposely carving out a financially stable career for herself and eve seems to be settling into life also.

Whilst none of them are perfect and their privileges have obviously gave them a head start in life against others, they’ve all at least made an attempt or start at growing up and becoming adults. Ruby just seems to have regressed into this odd childhood state becoming more dependent on her parents. She redecorated her room to be more childlike. Purposely presents herself in a youthful manner. Pitches her voice to a higher level in videos. Continually makes references to school and back to school content. Managed to bag a job in her old school to ensure she doesn’t have to venture into unfamiliar environments. Refuses to learn how to drive despite having the means to do so, because she knows it’ll mean she can’t have mummykins and daddykins driving her around like the 12yo she so desperately wants to be.

It’s sad and weird to witness. What’s worse I think is she never started spiralling this hard until she got into year 2 of her english degree, in her first year in philosophy and her first year of English she was acting appropriately for her age and looking back at videos she just seems more competent(?). I do wonder what was the trigger for her to start acting in such an odd way. I also think her parents are disgusting enablers simply encouraging her behaviour, they clearly cannot accept the fact that they now have adult children who have their own lives, so now they have the chance to baby Ruby again, they relish in it.

 

[CatCafe234]

Ruby’s single-handedly creating a whole new genre of ASMR where the intention is to make you as anxious as possible whilst you listen to it.

 

[pinkmug]

In my opinion, Jade is the most well-rounded of the studytubers.

I'll have to disagree. She made a shitshow of her education because like Ruby, she couldn't handle the Oxford rejection and had to convince herself that Minerva scam was meant for her instead. She's well traveled for sure, but she's also horrifically ignorant and uneducated yet thinks she's a blessing on others, she's racist but is painfully unaware of it, extremely privileged but in denial about thay as well, and the moment she graduates, she'll turn into some self care MLM and scam her viewers until she's filthy rich, but will do so under the disguise of being worldly, environmentalist and woke I think Jade is one of the worst studytubers out there, I sincerely hope nobody is taking her as a role model. I've yet to forget her crossing two countries to get dicked during the height of pandemic and lockdowns They are all as bad as eachother imo, in different ways.

The only one I genuinely believe to be an actually well educated, well rounded independent person is PaigeY. If push came to shove, she'd have zero issues stepping away from youtube and social media because her life, validation and identity don't depend on it. She seems to have a good, healthy relationship with her family, a steady friendship group from Cambridge + other friends from professional life and boat club. She maintained her education/work along with her social life and hobbies, she has excellent work ethic and she just comes off as easy to be around and personable to me. Maybe a bit goody-two-shoes but nothing wrong with that. Ruby could take a page out of her book.

 

[Griftwood]

Oh hi hello look what I found

“Heaven — is what I cannot reach”: How Emily Dickinson’s Voice was Influenced by Spoken Worship in Amherst and the Book of Revelation | Department of English

english.umd.edu

I remembered she had talked about "having a paper published" and I wondered what became of it, so I googled "'Ruby Bones' essay".

edit: It's just as we always imagined - word salad cobbled together from way too many sources and not a single original thought to hold it together.

 

[Mr.Mistoffelees]

Her fans are getting more ridiculous by the minute. If Dante were alive today and had access to YouTube, he'd include listening to an audiobook narrated by Roobie in one of the circles in hell.

 

[Griftwood]

lol I can’t in her new video, she shows a ”makeup routine” that starts with full-on fake freckles, presumably to try and convince us that they’re real

also wtf is this “collar”, I’m guessing this is something she made herself by unevenly freehand cutting a piece of fabric and just thinking that was good enough? Newsflash Roogedy Ann, it’s not and you’re looking sloppy.

 

[Larancia]

Those comments though! The first ones sounds like they're praising a 4-year old for tidying their room.
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In addition to that;

I cant decide if this person is being straight up creepy or they also try to praise her as she is a child -which is again, creepy-

 

[gossip_guy]

I had to re-play this bit several times to work out what the fuck she meant. She moans that she found a tea that she really likes...she complains about it like its something bad. She found...a...tea and she is unhappy that she found it. Then I realised she was saying 'because it costs more than her regular tea'. I literally did not understand what her fucking problem was until it hit me that she was doing a 'pretend to be hard up for cash' thing. The tea she likes and must have costs a lot of money.

Its not insulin. You don't need it. What a pretentious little brat.

Yeah, her performative poverty is beyond insulting as it is, but especially when she's going out of her way to complain about the cost of a tea which she got for free.

Also:

Translation: "There's no reason at all for me to not disclose my general role, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to wildly embellish the nature of my job and make it seem like I'm working 87 hour weeks and doing the work of 4 teachers and the headteacher all at once. I'm sure you understand. "

 

[gossip_guy]

"Oiy was johst tyoo fyocused on moiy mahhhsters statement to be able to slyeep and had to wake up at FOIYVE AYY AMM tyo dyo it and awlsyo read WOTHERING HOIGHTS!"

In reality, she just recorded a few minutes of footage at like 8pm of her touching a book and scribbling some nonsense, then passed it off as being 5am.

Barely a minute in and already with the undeclared ads while Mummy Bones coughs up a lung in the background.

Just Daddy Bones wandering the woods in a gigantic duster coat like he's off to hunt Dracula or some shit. Dude looks like what you'd get if you ordered Hugh Jackman in Van Helsing from Wish.com.

Ruby starts her day which has already apparently started several times by starting to write the PARRSONAL STYATEMENT that she already claimed she started. Mmkay.

HOSSTLE COCHA IS TARRIBOL, so Ruby makes sure to set a one hour timer and keep a clock ticking on-screen for only the camera to see so she can "focus on staying focused" while dressed like a primary school student. She says that all she did on this day was write her statement, so she clearly didn't do it in an hour and I'm not sure what point she thinks there was in setting a timer when she had no immediate time constraints, other than encouraging her usual nonsensical toxic productivity habits.

Speaking of toxic productivity and pointless things: It's time for an undeclared ad for the PONKY PODDUTTIFTEE PLANNER which Ruby JANUINELY uses.

She's apparently chosen to write her personal statement in full before even deciding what she wants to study, which is certainly a bold plan.

After a sponsor-begging Waterstones ad, it's "the NAXXT DYAY" which is full of "AGANN - SPOILAH - MWOAR WAHHRK". I mean, I've not seen any work at all so far in this video, but whatever.

"Waahrhk" in Ruby's mind amounts to taking a few minutes to lazily toss together some childish collage of nonsense and call it a lesson plan.

She makes a point to mention how she JOHST HAPPENS TYO BEE YEEZING HAHHR OIYPAD A LOT LATELY and this has nothing to do with her having a digital planner that she wants to advertise, not at all, JANUINELY.

The dreaded vampire scourge apparently doesn't stop at the woods - Ruby's suddenly listening to songs about vampires and waving strange antique mirrors around for some reason.

Checking for a reflection is key in sniffing out the ghastly Nosferatu, but the only parasitic leech caught on camera is charity thief Rubert.

Then it's time for her "makeup routine". I think that's where she routinely makes up a bunch of shit that isn't true.

She starts by expecting everyone to believe she just woke up with gigantic dark brown dots all over her face. To make it even more glaring, she made sure these fake freckles were more pronounced than ever.

After applying a bunch of makeup atop her JANUINELY VARRY REAL FRACKLES, they've gone from solid dots to smeared brown lines, because that's how freckles work.

She's also smeared on a bunch of FACKTAH FIFTEE ASS PEE AFF SONCREAM, even though it's the middle of winter and she won't be going outside. She continues her baffling trend of only applying suncream to her face, stopping at her jawline. The sun magically knows not to touch the ears, neck or any other areas of the human body, so sun cream is not required past the face, apparently. The mysteries of science!

She's back to working on the PARSSONAL STATEMENT she said she'd already finished the day before. She accidentally-on-purpose reveals that she's applying to Oxford, because she hasn't learned a damn thing and is a glutton for punishment.

She also mentions that she's started a new job in a school, but refuses to confirm what the job actually is. Apparently it involves copying the contents of her lesson plans from Google though, since that's all she seems to be doing.

Spoiler: TW: Ruby's "Food"

Then it's time for dinner, for which she destroys a perfectly good pizza by drowning it in dripping-wet kidney beans and piling it high with olives she's shown she can't stand/it takes her 35 bites to get through one single olive thanks to her ED habits. I don't even know what the fuck this is but I doubt she ate it.

After dinner, it's time for another undeclared ad for RAMMADEE KYOMYOOCHAH, SYO REFRASHING!

Back on her habit of tacking a completely unrelated video onto a vlog to pad it out, Ruby's going to tell us some of her "NYEU YEAHHS RAZZOLYEESHONS".

There's a self-deprecating disclaimer on-screen warning us to ignore the loose threads on what Ruby very generously claims to be a collar, as though she only noticed that this looked absolutely fucking horrible while she was editing. Were her eyes not working the day she filmed this? She made this, put it on and filmed it, and at no point did she noticed that it looked like Freddy Krueger had been let loose in a fabric factory? It's been blindly hacked to fucking shreds. Wild, drunk monkeys with a cleaver could do a better job than this. What an embarrassing disaster.

She waves her claw hands around randomly and starts rabbiting some nonsense about resolutions and drinking water and mindfulness and parroting quotes to try to make herself seem VARRY ACADAMMICK, but it was impossible to take this puddle-brained dipshit seriously before she started wearing the discarded remnants of grandma's old tablecloths, it certainly ain't happening now.

She drones on with some meandering, humble-bragging bullshit about how she did well at school but "didn't AWHLWHEYS GAT 100 PRUH-SANT".
Reminder: Some dumbasses are paying a school to let this fuckwit teach their children English.

Her "razzolyeeshons":

1. Gat intyoo a ragular ryootine and gat a batter noiyt ryootine.
2. Awhlwheys make toiyme fwore wroiyting.
3. Troiy tyooo gat to bad aahrliar and wake opp arrlier.

Ruby's weird obsession with morning and night routines will never die and never make sense. It's on her list every year and apparently she's never happy, even though her routine never changes according to the 3,495 routine videos she makes?

She claims to wake up super early and go to bed super early in all her vlogs, and yet now she says she doesn't? If she's not going to bed when she wakes up and waking up 3 weeks prior, it's not good enough.

She also claims she's always writing a book and now needs to resolve to write something every day? Yeah, none of her lies remotely add up.

Remember last year when Ruby set the resolution that she'd be doing lots of volunteer charity work and donating 10% of her income to needy causes? That certainly left the list as fast as she wrote it.

 

[ariawyn]

I cannot get over the absurdity of the girl who has 502737 routine videos setting a resolution to establish a routine.
But hey, that’s Ruby.

 

[gossip_guy]

Blakeney is back, and Ruby's locked her "BASST FRAND" in mummy and daddy's stanky old camper van with her so that she never escapes again to promote a gifted book that Ruby clearly didn't read.

Ruby "put together some AMMARICKAN SNACKS" like...(checks notes)...English crisps, English bread, English carrots, English jam, English peanut butter, English biscuits, and a beat-up single packet of Pop Tarts.

"WHAN THIS BOOK GYOT INTANSE, IT GYOT INTANSE."

The fake look of shock I had when Ruby started advertising yet another product she hasn't bothered checking out in full in an embarrassingly half-assed video.

"It was SOCH a gud bock and SOCH a gud day and that is whoiy--[abrupt end to the video]"

This video tells absolutely nothing about the book. Once again, if I were a marketing person who paid Ruby and got this embarrassing mess in return, I'd be clawing that money back. But it does confirm the incredibly funny trend that Blakeney will only reappear in Ruby's life now when there's a gifted product or event on offer.