English lit degree holder fails to understand the meaning of secret
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She also failed to understand the meaning of "spring". I think you meant "
sprig of lavender", Rubert.
Her stalking her desolate wasteland of a garden barefoot in an old nightie snatching unwashed fruit from the trees and eating it no matter what dirt, bugs and bacteria might be all over it. Syo ass-tattic!
Okay so. At first I thought the video was nice, at least the beginning with the drone shots. and some nature footage. But why does she these sudden cuts? loud machine whisking dough, cut. Crunching feet. sudden cut. I would lay some soothing music over the loud noise of the machine.
and why is she wearing a thick jumper in the garden center and while baking?
again, sudden cutting during the voice over.
Despite her vast wealth and her relying on filmmaking as her primary source of income, she's never bothered to invest in a dedicated microphone and windshield and she's never once improved at the technical aspects of making videos in 7+ years. It's an almost impressive level of incompetence. Most people will naturally improve at practical things even unknowingly when doing them consistently over long periods of time, but Ruby's never gotten better in any way.
I love that Ruby recorded a bunch of fake birdsong to put over her video as ambient score, but instead of doing so with proper equipment, she just recorded the audio with an iPhone while leaning out her bedroom window. There's wind rustling everywhere and the constant sound of her bumping and brushing against the mic or the sounds of nearby banging. She also gives up on this entirely after the opening montage and the rest is just a crunching, clattering cacophony of awful noise. Ruby's also too stupid to realise that you can just buy royalty-free ambient score packs like that and it'll sound infinitely better.
Visually, she's just as inept. After nearly a decade of making and consuming video content, she still doesn't understand how basic framing and composition works, so we get lengthy shots like this:
Ruby set up the camera, didn't bother to check whether she was centred in frame, clearly visible and not obscured by random trees, didn't bother getting a second take, etc. This was good enough for Ruby, who never stops talking about the aesthetics of things and how much of a struggle being a perfectionist is.
Speaking of technical stupidity...
Ruby has entered the modern era! 4K video! Not sure why that K isn't capitalised like it should be, but a new era of increased pixel resolution has begun! We can now recoil in horror at the filth and squalor of Ruby's room and spot all the random incriminating shit she left showing on her computer screen in 4 times the pixel resolution!
Oh. Well. Never mind. Ruby just saw "4K" in a lot of other autumnal nature videos on YouTube and decided to shove it into her title with no idea what it meant.
"My FRAND Andrea -- a FRAND from Nyorway..."
"Seasons aren't a linear thing. You dyon't johst soddenly SWITCH."
Self-proclaimed genius who once said she understood the universe on a molecular level fails to understand the difference between seasons and weather.
Thanks to Ruby's mummy filming with a drone camera, we can see over the neighbour's fence. Their garden is well maintained, their furniture in good condition. There's also no makeshift drug den shanty town. It's a stark difference to Ruby's family, who only make sure the front yard is neat and presentable and let the rear of the house turn into an apocalyptic shithole. It's also enlightening: Despite Ruby's narcissistic superiority complex and her constant middle-class elitism and entitlement, I get the distinct impression that her neighbours probably see her family as the scummy problem neighbours lowering the value of their property.
This is an entire video in which Ruby tries desperately to imitate the verbose nature-fetishizing poetry she's been skimming through lately. What insight does Ruby have to bring to the table?
Well, Ruby is writing entire journal entries to try to prove that she really does use her Ponkin' Produrlitree Nyotebock. This day's entry centres around Ruby's latest ornithological discovery: Birds don't talk like human beings.
Someone get David Attenborough on the phone, he might need to know about the shocking revelation that birds communicate through sounds...
Pretend germaphobe writhes all over the dirty ground, her tea perched in the dirt to collect whatever stray soil and debris wasn't already in the cup when she made it, all while filling a notebook with Forrest Gumpian observations about the world around her.
She rambles incoherently about the impermanence of all things because the seasons change, and if she were smarter I'd assume this were one big laboured metaphor for the rapid fading of her youth, but she's just a dumbass.
"Oiy think byoootee is found in bravity. In toiyme constraints and limits and stopwatches. The seasons are beeyootifol nyot becozz they comm, but becozz they leave."
Meanwhile, Ruby's out here trying to make Autumn last the whole year and her childhood last a lifetime. Ruby also apparently can't tell the difference between the natural signposts of time, like seasonal changes or a year going by, and self-imposed time restrictions, like forcing yourself to do something in a 1 hour time window for no reason at all when - if you're Ruby - you have a wide-open schedule of time in which to do it.
She presents most of this video as though it were a single day, even adding title cards to supposedly separate the footage into distinct days.
Only, as usual, there's about a dozen outfit changes in the first "day" of footage. Remember, time is beautiful because it's linear and fleeting, unless you're Ruby and then time is happening all at once in all directions. Time is meaningless in the haunted, dilapidated Bones Manor.
Her actual writing - creating the books she keeps claiming she's writing AWHL THE TOIYME and will apparently catapult her to the top of all bestseller lists - clearly isn't going well at all. She's refusing to show any of it. She said she was doing Camp Nanowrimo last month and instantly gave up.
'Lottie Parton and the Autumnal Abduction' is out on submission, and it must be pure silence or endless rejection from publishers, because she's burrowing deeper into her world of childish fantasy trying to recapture her youth (her go-to coping mechanism whenever she's threatened with having to face adulthood or is reminded that she's not a gifted child genius) and desperately sharing all this pretentious poetry drivel to her echo chamber of fans to get the blind praise and gratification she wants.
There's also a HEE-YOOGE family reunion with all the people she hasn't seen in
yaaahrs, and Martha's nowhere to be seen.
.
I get criticised for my own opinions yet everyone else's opinions are being accepted? So much for freedom of speech and having an own opinion.
