God yes, this! I also thought that blouse looks so awful! And also it doesn't fit with the rest of Ruby's style or quote unquote 'aesthetic' at all if you ask me - that blouse gives me angry 1980s businesswoman vibes, not Victorian child vibes! And no matter what she wears with it, that weird blouse always stands out, and not in a good way. Plus it looks so oversized on her. Maybe it's meant to look like that but idk, I just don't like it
Ruby Granger #28 What a depacle!
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We’re getting another academic planner! Confirmed by Ruby on the StudyGram Chat discord
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I know that agenda is another word for schedule but the first thing I thought of is Ruby has a new agenda like a plot for world domination............or she has a new scam up her sleeve for the new school year
The fun thing about "Call me by your name" and Ruby being so inspired by it that she travelled to Italy is....it's set in Northern Italy, like, a ten hour drive from where she is. I'm pretty sure the book and the movie are known for this. So she couldn't even travel to somewhat close to the book's setting, because to her Italy is just Italy, everywhere's the same. So cultured.
I guess her parents planned the holiday and she just shoe-horned in the Call Me By Your Name thing on her social media, so that's why the destination doesn't exactly fit the theme. They just planned a holiday to the Amalfi Coast and Ruby only heard "Italy" and went straight to Call Me By Your Name because that's the only piece of media set in or about Italy she's ever consumed. She probably didn't notice that it's set in a completely different part of the country lol
She posted on the book club discord that she’s coming back from Italy tomorrow.
Ah I see, I hadn’t realized that!
How dare she do that after she screwed over so many of her fans with the last planner!
And it's the exact same planner as every other time, even though Ruby's been claiming she's worked on this for a year. All she did was swap the colour to a predictable matcha green and add slightly different crappy doodles on the cover.
^ same tit, different year..literally
So she's shared another...well, to call it a poem would be generous... She shat some random collection of mess onto paper and thought she'd share it for some reason.
"Avverything's syo wide
and yoo can see syo far
that it seems like nothing is myooving.
AVVERYTHING IS STILL.
"Far enoff away that yoo can't see
the ripple,
the fwall,
the queue cottahs,
and racing byotes,
unfahrling clouds
and flowers.
"Laundry dosn't ripple in the wind,
rocks dyon't fwall from the mountaintops.
"If you're far enough away,
things are uncomplicated, unchanged.
Things are styill.
(In woiy dangle.)"
This is some 'Baby's First Look Out a Plane Window'-level tit. "Didjoo knyow that if you're varry far away, things look varry smwall?"
And what the duck are "queue cutters"? Like, literally, people who cut in front of you in a queue/line? Because what's that got to do with any of the rest of the purple prose sea and sky nonsense she's thrown together? I assumed this was some Tory toff expression for yachts or something, but Google says nope. A cutter is a boat. A queue cutter is someone who wants popcorn at the cinema more than you do.
Why is she so dumb?
"Avverything's syo wide
and yoo can see syo far
that it seems like nothing is myooving.
AVVERYTHING IS STILL.
"Far enoff away that yoo can't see
the ripple,
the fwall,
the queue cottahs,
and racing byotes,
unfahrling clouds
and flowers.
"Laundry dosn't ripple in the wind,
rocks dyon't fwall from the mountaintops.
"If you're far enough away,
things are uncomplicated, unchanged.
Things are styill.
(In woiy dangle.)"
This is some 'Baby's First Look Out a Plane Window'-level tit. "Didjoo knyow that if you're varry far away, things look varry smwall?"
And what the duck are "queue cutters"? Like, literally, people who cut in front of you in a queue/line? Because what's that got to do with any of the rest of the purple prose sea and sky nonsense she's thrown together? I assumed this was some Tory toff expression for yachts or something, but Google says nope. A cutter is a boat. A queue cutter is someone who wants popcorn at the cinema more than you do.
Why is she so dumb?
Knowing that she's in Italy at the moment, and knowing how many of my fellow countrymen are regarding queues, my guess is it happened like the day before while she was getting food or something and she was still bitter about it lmao like, it's a huge stereotype that Italians are big queue-cutters, but it's a thing lol. And I immediately thought of that when I read 'queue-cutters'
Someone in the Granger family got cut off in a line and probably made a huge deal out of it
The Beauty of Nature: A Cottagecore Poem by Ruby Granger.
"Avverything is green
and the andless fields of
chartyoose and ammerald and joonipahh
make yoo forgat about
the ethanol-swilling common rum
who cut my daddy off
on the myotorway
when he was droiving me home.
Only for a myoment."
God, I know Ruby needs to be naturally good at things and she IS A WRITER so the thought of having to work at it is horrifying to her because in her mind it will lessen her legitimacy but writing NEEDS WORK. You can't just stream-of-consciousness your way through a writing career. Even stream-of-consciousness writers rework and redraft.
If she can learn to like coffee as part of her maturing experience, she needs to learn that everyone has to work at things, even if they love them and were born to do them. That poem is awful, actually worse than I thought her writing would be, it says absolutely nothing.
If she can learn to like coffee as part of her maturing experience, she needs to learn that everyone has to work at things, even if they love them and were born to do them. That poem is awful, actually worse than I thought her writing would be, it says absolutely nothing.
Distances: A Special, Unique and Productive Ruby Granger Poem
Stanza 1:
Some distances are far.
These distances stretch into the distance like olive farms on the distant horizon.
In distant Italy, amongst lawless gelato-grabbing crowds, we pondered the precepts,
the dramatic distant beauty of cucumbers and rocks;
fragmented, in coves, only enjoyable in the afternoons.
Quiscent peaches scattered on the tables: they are enjoyable at any time.
Peaches are quite common ackshually. I may edit this section out. But then where will I put the word quiscent? What to do? #rubyedits #ihateediting
Stanza 2:
When the world is not distant
That is because it is near.
Near things are my favourite things: my parents, my house, my sad study desk,
that one field with the frightening alpaca.
The alpaca stares into my soul and I wish it were distant-er.
The nearness of things amazes me
because they're not far away
or wide or distant or tiny
they are zoomed in like a camera.
Stanza 3:
But in the distance it is a depacle
where alpacas eat laundry, heathens cut queues,
in the distance everything is moving
including the rocks from the mountains
'Mummy, why are those bullies throwing rocks at us?'
The universe has no answer
Just the plop plop plopping as the stones bounce off my head
and tumble into the distant sea,
roaring its disapproval
at my lack of insight
and terribly short eyesight.
Stanza 1:
Some distances are far.
These distances stretch into the distance like olive farms on the distant horizon.
In distant Italy, amongst lawless gelato-grabbing crowds, we pondered the precepts,
the dramatic distant beauty of cucumbers and rocks;
fragmented, in coves, only enjoyable in the afternoons.
Quiscent peaches scattered on the tables: they are enjoyable at any time.
Stanza 2:
When the world is not distant
That is because it is near.
Near things are my favourite things: my parents, my house, my sad study desk,
that one field with the frightening alpaca.
The alpaca stares into my soul and I wish it were distant-er.
The nearness of things amazes me
because they're not far away
or wide or distant or tiny
they are zoomed in like a camera.
Stanza 3:
But in the distance it is a depacle
where alpacas eat laundry, heathens cut queues,
in the distance everything is moving
including the rocks from the mountains
'Mummy, why are those bullies throwing rocks at us?'
The universe has no answer
Just the plop plop plopping as the stones bounce off my head
and tumble into the distant sea,
roaring its disapproval
at my lack of insight
and terribly short eyesight.
I must say *fingerwag*, that I love the way you've used the evil alpaca as a symbol of the adulthood that Ruby is trying to escape, in particular the way that the image of the alpaca eating the laundry symbolises the way that growing up is meanly trying to stop Ruby wearing children's clothes!
I guess you could read queue as a verb there? But she's put it onto a new line to look more "poetic" and it doesn't really work.
Does anyone else feel like she's been in Italy for ages? Reality is I thinks it been two weeks but it's all she's gone on about and now it feels like its been ages
I thought Paris Rhubarb would be worse, but Italy Rhubarb is simply insufferable
It’s been ten days, so not even two weeks
It definitely feels a lot longer though!- Status