Ruby Granger #28 What a depacle!
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Kettles aren't super common in Italy, I guess places that cater to foreign tourists have them more often but I've definitely been to a ton of hotels and b&b's that didn't have one. In private homes very few people have one
Why is her bed right by the stairs?
I loudly went “oh my god” when I saw the peach
I don’t believe rubix cube is actually reading the bookLmao first thing I thought was that she probably chose the bed by the stairs to feel like a Victorian scullery maid sleeping in a cot under the stairs
lol okay
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I haven't watched her video yet, so I can't tell if you're joking.
Maybe she hasn't got to that part yet, although she's supposedly read the book twice now so... unless she's a fan of the whole peach sequence and this is her tribute to that special moment.She always magically realizes things the second she uploads somehow. It's truly incredible the epiphanies she has when she uploads her videos
Okay, I’ve not read this book. What is the peach thing?
Rubys new time hopping routine
She had a shower, put on a white jacket and got ready.
Then made tea and went out to the balcony to read in a white dress, hair completely dry.
Next, she is journaling and her hair is wet again (and she is wearing the same white jacket from the beginning of the vid)
She is not even trying anymore. At all.
She had a shower, put on a white jacket and got ready.
Then made tea and went out to the balcony to read in a white dress, hair completely dry.
Next, she is journaling and her hair is wet again (and she is wearing the same white jacket from the beginning of the vid)
She is not even trying anymore. At all.
That's like watching Order of the Phoenix and saying "Oh gosh!! Sirius Black died in that movie?? I completely forgot uwu". Isn't it easier to like, just read the goddamn book instead of pretending you have..?
Also, didn't she say once she graduates she's going to follow up on the Holocaust memorials? Or is she waiting for everyone to just forget LOL. Or maybe she's busy spending that charity money on her multiple vacations..
She did say that, but I hope she forgets and doesn't follow through with the plans. I can't see the memorials being anything other than a ridiculous waste of time and resources.
main character uses a peach to masturbate. the book uses some disturbing imagery comparing the peach to a grape victim as well, but the scene in the movie isn’t that bad. it’s just very iconic. there’s no way you can forget about it once you’ve read it
one of the main characters masturbates with a peach and the other proceeds to eat it after it’s been… used.
Fixed that for you.
At least this vlog was short, I guess? That's the only positive I have.
Just in case you didn't realise from the endless spamming of photos on Ruby's Instagram of herself sitting at a table in Italy with an unread copy of Call Me By Your Name, or by the title of the video telling you she's in Italy, or the on-screen text telling you that she's in Italy, or the video description telling you she's in Italy, Ruby starts by mentioning that she's in Italy. Did she mention she's in Italy? She's in Italy, by the way.
She opens on quick selection of scenic shots soundtracked by rustling wind, the whirring of her camera and the obnoxious sounds of various nearby electrics, because Ruby is incapable of figuring out how basic sound design works even though filmmaking is her primary source of income and she's been doing this tit for 7 years. But Ruby LOVES lyahrrning new things, and ASS-thattics are her entire brand!
Ruby with the Peter Pan complex made sure to find the only child's bed in the building, even if it meant sleeping in a bleeping hallway next to the stairs. This also had the added benefit for her of her family being unable to sneak out the front door and ditch her in the middle of the night, since she'd always hear them coming.
"Hallo it's Ryoobee and tyoday oiy'm gyowing tyoo be sharing a munning routine with yoo. SYO. Moi family and oiy are corrantly on hyoliday IN...(drum roll please)...the sath of Italy? It's ABSYOLYOOTLEE BYOOTAFL HYAHHR."
Ruby's fabricated accent seems to have gotten even worse in a non-English-speaking country, possibly as a way to try to assert her fake-posh dominance over the locals.
"I am collecting a beautiful moment here," Ruby puts on screen.
Only the framing and composition's all ducked up, and "collecting a beautiful moment" is the kind of thing a serial killer would say when creeping around in someone's yard in the middle of the night with a Polaroid camera.
Also note how she says she's "collecting" a moment; she is in no way enjoying that moment, as evidenced by the perpetual, sullen grandma frown slapped on her face.
Ruby bodychecks her way though her morning looking like a malnourished orphan child with some kind of Benjamin Button aging disease.
She slaps together footage that we've seen millions of times before. "AND THAN" she did this, "AND THAN" she did that. And "OF CWAORSE" she made her "bad". And in Rubyspeak, "making a bed" still just means "haphazardly tossing the bedding about a bit".
Ruby's thesaurus of flowery words that she doesn't understand was evidently lost at the airport, because everything's "beee-YOOT-ifl" - the house, the balcony, the country. She takes a cold shower and then gets dressed without drying her hair for some reason, soaking her clothes.
Predictably, she waves around her copy of Call Me By Your Name. She claims to be re-reading it and that this book was responsible for her wanting to come to Italy, but we all know she never read it then and certainly won't be reading it now. Her imagination is just so feeble and withered away to nothing that this is the only book which she knows takes place in Italy, and therefore she brought it along as a prop and hasn't stopped showing it in almost every picture of her in Italy, because she's incapable of just living her own life and always has to be recreating something "ASS-thattic" from a book that other people enjoyed.
"AND THAN" she goes to pretend to read outside on the balcony, but her hair's instantly dry and her outfit is magically different.
Even more embarrassing, she got her mummy to play camera operator for this footage. Because nothing says "enjoying your holiday" quite like indulging the immature, pantomime fantasies of your mentally enfeebled charity thief daughter and helping her fake her way through life. And nothing says "I'm JANUINELY reading a book" like having your parent filming over your shoulder while you mindlessly flip through pages.
And if you weren't already 1,000,000% certain that Ruby was lying her ass off about reading/re-reading the book, she then mentions that her family got peaches (the only food in the house for some reason).
Maybe it's me, but given the infamous peach scene in the book, if I were the delicate flower that Ruby presents herself as, there's no way I'd be eating a peach after reading that book, especially on camera.
She doesn't just eat that peach, she absolutely smashes the bleeping thing into her face.
There's zero chance you wouldn't make the connection. You'd either avoid eating it, eat it off-camera or you'd at the very least make reference to the peach scene in the book, knowing that everyone who actually read the book or watched the movie (and, hell, many who didn't) are going to make the connection and raise one hell of an eyebrow.
But Ruby didn't even spot the glaring connection between the book and peaches, because she never read the book either in "TWANTY TWANTY" or now and only did the barest skim of a synopsis. Her entire knowledge of the book is likely: It's set in Italy and peaches are eaten.
At some indeterminate point in time before or after, she also has the world's smallest, driest toast and then mentions that she brought a horde of tea with her. Otherwise, how would she show off more undeclared ads for gifted products?
"AHHFTAH THAT"...
Ruby's outfit instantly transforms into her earlier, crinkled-as-duck, never-ironed-ever one. Her hair's soaking wet again and she's conjured up a magical layer of Pennywise clown makeup/sunblock on her face and nowhere else, because that's how the sun works.
"Oiy've bin troying to dyooo a liddle bid of JAHRNalling? Koind of loiyke mourning pages oiy suppyose, whaaahr you johst BLAART OUT awl of your thoughts...AND...re-FLACKSHUNS. Becoss being on holiday is a slurr pace of loyfe."
All of Ruby's thoughts:
If her pretending to read Call Me By Your Name and making her entire holiday all about a book she never read wasn't enough, she also pretends to listen to the soundtrack to the movie, too.
Ruby just loves "SOOF-JOHN STEVENS".
She makes a point to brag that she's making a point not to plan or schedule things on her holiday, even though her entire holiday has been an embarrassing, rehearsed performance and she's spent almost all of it faking her life on-camera instead of just seeing the sights, going to the beach and having fun.
And even though she's apparently not planned it, she's still just filling her time with pointless busywork, even on holiday.
Ruby's privileged enough to go on holiday for a week+ to a gorgeous country and she just wastes her time there writing drivel as she pretends to use the crappy products she slaps her name on.
She's also back to embellishing her involvement with PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEA and is now saying it's HER website for HER notebook, designed by HER. Y'know, even though her management company still owns and runs the website and the company, and the "design" (such as it is) was slapped together by an unpaid intern of Sixteenth using the most basic-ass stationery templates. It looks like every dot grid notebook ever, only poorer quality and 90 times the price.
After another spontaneous outfit change, Ruby's gone for "BRACKFSST". She says this is sometimes with her dad, sometimes with her mum, sometimes with other random family members (she's already forgot that Martha exists again), but this time it was her dad, because "the others weren't up YAT". Even though her mum was filming her earlier. Even though there's been several hours in this "day" already. Mmkay. And how long is this bleeping holiday that anyone needs a morning routine, or that "sometimes" she has an Italian breakfast with any combination of her family? What a pile of horseshit.
Ruby has a "SOY MILL CAPPOCHINO" and her dad "johst got an ASSPRASSO".
"AND THAN" she sat on the balcony again and "did some creative wroiyting" - "creative" being the operative word for how she uses the English language.
She has her mummy film her hammering away randomly at keys because remember, this is a holiday! She's switched off! Relaxation is happening!
Another outfit switcheroo happens as Ruby says she's going to show off what's in her beach bag, for some reason.
The thick, pronounced line of sunblock is clearly visible - she's painted it on like a mask and it stops at her jawline. No sunblock anywhere else. Remember when Ruby claimed that she understood how the world worked on a molecular level because she studied science at A-Level? This rock-headed dunce doesn't even grasp the basic idea of sunburn.
Most of what she says in this section is almost entirely inaudible because, again, she doesn't understand how sound works in video, so it's just a garbled cacophony of background noise. I think she says she took a bikini, a "cardigan for Lisa"?, Call Me By Your Name (of course, can't go anywhere in Italy without the book prop she'll never read), her Kindle, a notebook and pen, a pack of playing cards, a "GYO PRYO" and airpods.
She also claims she takes hand sanitiser and a face mask, even though she cares less about hygiene and Covid safety than she does about charitable causes.
Oh, wait, it wouldn't be a Ruby video without random irrelevant bull crammed into an unrelated video!
Her narration in this section is sped up to the point of incoherence. Long story short: She claims she took books to read, but it's debatable if she even knows how.
Some people expected an overseas holiday to be the start of some kind of growth for Ruby, but this is the same arrested development nonsense as she wastes a holiday with all the same flimsy lies and performative nonsense she shoves in every other video.
Ruby is still a strong contender for the stupidest person I've seen on YouTube, and there's people on there who eat out of toilets.
Are we supposed to believe that she changed her outfit three times over the course of one morning where the only things she did were have breakfast and go down to the beach?Fixed that for you.
At least this vlog was short, I guess? That's the only positive I have.
View attachment 1341383
Just in case you didn't realise from the endless spamming of photos on Ruby's Instagram of herself sitting at a table in Italy with an unread copy of Call Me By Your Name, or by the title of the video telling you she's in Italy, or the on-screen text telling you that she's in Italy, or the video description telling you she's in Italy, Ruby starts by mentioning that she's in Italy. Did she mention she's in Italy? She's in Italy, by the way.
She opens on quick selection of scenic shots soundtracked by rustling wind, the whirring of her camera and the obnoxious sounds of various nearby electrics, because Ruby is incapable of figuring out how basic sound design works even though filmmaking is her primary source of income and she's been doing this tit for 7 years. But Ruby LOVES lyahrrning new things, and ASS-thattics are her entire brand!
View attachment 1341290
Ruby with the Peter Pan complex made sure to find the only child's bed in the building, even if it meant sleeping in a bleeping hallway next to the stairs. This also had the added benefit for her of her family being unable to sneak out the front door and ditch her in the middle of the night, since she'd always hear them coming.
"Hallo it's Ryoobee and tyoday oiy'm gyowing tyoo be sharing a munning routine with yoo. SYO. Moi family and oiy are corrantly on hyoliday IN...(drum roll please)...the sath of Italy? It's ABSYOLYOOTLEE BYOOTAFL HYAHHR."
Ruby's fabricated accent seems to have gotten even worse in a non-English-speaking country, possibly as a way to try to assert her fake-posh dominance over the locals.
View attachment 1341402
"I am collecting a beautiful moment here," Ruby puts on screen.
Only the framing and composition's all ducked up, and "collecting a beautiful moment" is the kind of thing a serial killer would say when creeping around in someone's yard in the middle of the night with a Polaroid camera.
Also note how she says she's "collecting" a moment; she is in no way enjoying that moment, as evidenced by the perpetual, sullen grandma frown slapped on her face.
Ruby bodychecks her way though her morning looking like a malnourished orphan child with some kind of Benjamin Button aging disease.
View attachment 1341529
She slaps together footage that we've seen millions of times before. "AND THAN" she did this, "AND THAN" she did that. And "OF CWAORSE" she made her "bad". And in Rubyspeak, "making a bed" still just means "haphazardly tossing the bedding about a bit".
Ruby's thesaurus of flowery words that she doesn't understand was evidently lost at the airport, because everything's "beee-YOOT-ifl" - the house, the balcony, the country. She takes a cold shower and then gets dressed without drying her hair for some reason, soaking her clothes.
View attachment 1341502
Predictably, she waves around her copy of Call Me By Your Name. She claims to be re-reading it and that this book was responsible for her wanting to come to Italy, but we all know she never read it then and certainly won't be reading it now. Her imagination is just so feeble and withered away to nothing that this is the only book which she knows takes place in Italy, and therefore she brought it along as a prop and hasn't stopped showing it in almost every picture of her in Italy, because she's incapable of just living her own life and always has to be recreating something "ASS-thattic" from a book that other people enjoyed.
View attachment 1341538
"AND THAN" she goes to pretend to read outside on the balcony, but her hair's instantly dry and her outfit is magically different.
Even more embarrassing, she got her mummy to play camera operator for this footage. Because nothing says "enjoying your holiday" quite like indulging the immature, pantomime fantasies of your mentally enfeebled charity thief daughter and helping her fake her way through life. And nothing says "I'm JANUINELY reading a book" like having your parent filming over your shoulder while you mindlessly flip through pages.
View attachment 1341543
And if you weren't already 1,000,000% certain that Ruby was lying her ass off about reading/re-reading the book, she then mentions that her family got peaches (the only food in the house for some reason).
Maybe it's me, but given the infamous peach scene in the book, if I were the delicate flower that Ruby presents herself as, there's no way I'd be eating a peach after reading that book, especially on camera.
View attachment 1341559
She doesn't just eat that peach, she absolutely smashes the bleeping thing into her face.
There's zero chance you wouldn't make the connection. You'd either avoid eating it, eat it off-camera or you'd at the very least make reference to the peach scene in the book, knowing that everyone who actually read the book or watched the movie (and, hell, many who didn't) are going to make the connection and raise one hell of an eyebrow.
But Ruby didn't even spot the glaring connection between the book and peaches, because she never read the book either in "TWANTY TWANTY" or now and only did the barest skim of a synopsis. Her entire knowledge of the book is likely: It's set in Italy and peaches are eaten.
View attachment 1341553
At some indeterminate point in time before or after, she also has the world's smallest, driest toast and then mentions that she brought a horde of tea with her. Otherwise, how would she show off more undeclared ads for gifted products?
"AHHFTAH THAT"...
View attachment 1341566
Ruby's outfit instantly transforms into her earlier, crinkled-as-duck, never-ironed-ever one. Her hair's soaking wet again and she's conjured up a magical layer of Pennywise clown makeup/sunblock on her face and nowhere else, because that's how the sun works.
"Oiy've bin troying to dyooo a liddle bid of JAHRNalling? Koind of loiyke mourning pages oiy suppyose, whaaahr you johst BLAART OUT awl of your thoughts...AND...re-FLACKSHUNS. Becoss being on holiday is a slurr pace of loyfe."
All of Ruby's thoughts:
View attachment 1341572
If her pretending to read Call Me By Your Name and making her entire holiday all about a book she never read wasn't enough, she also pretends to listen to the soundtrack to the movie, too.
View attachment 1341581
Ruby just loves "SOOF-JOHN STEVENS".
She makes a point to brag that she's making a point not to plan or schedule things on her holiday, even though her entire holiday has been an embarrassing, rehearsed performance and she's spent almost all of it faking her life on-camera instead of just seeing the sights, going to the beach and having fun.
And even though she's apparently not planned it, she's still just filling her time with pointless busywork, even on holiday.
View attachment 1341585
Ruby's privileged enough to go on holiday for a week+ to a gorgeous country and she just wastes her time there writing drivel as she pretends to use the crappy products she slaps her name on.
She's also back to embellishing her involvement with PONKIN' PRODOCKTIVTEA and is now saying it's HER website for HER notebook, designed by HER. Y'know, even though her management company still owns and runs the website and the company, and the "design" (such as it is) was slapped together by an unpaid intern of Sixteenth using the most basic-ass stationery templates. It looks like every dot grid notebook ever, only poorer quality and 90 times the price.
View attachment 1341591
After another spontaneous outfit change, Ruby's gone for "BRACKFSST". She says this is sometimes with her dad, sometimes with her mum, sometimes with other random family members (she's already forgot that Martha exists again), but this time it was her dad, because "the others weren't up YAT". Even though her mum was filming her earlier. Even though there's been several hours in this "day" already. Mmkay. And how long is this bleeping holiday that anyone needs a morning routine, or that "sometimes" she has an Italian breakfast with any combination of her family? What a pile of horseshit.
Ruby has a "SOY MILL CAPPOCHINO" and her dad "johst got an ASSPRASSO".
View attachment 1341675
"AND THAN" she sat on the balcony again and "did some creative wroiyting" - "creative" being the operative word for how she uses the English language.
She has her mummy film her hammering away randomly at keys because remember, this is a holiday! She's switched off! Relaxation is happening!
View attachment 1341678
Another outfit switcheroo happens as Ruby says she's going to show off what's in her beach bag, for some reason.
The thick, pronounced line of sunblock is clearly visible - she's painted it on like a mask and it stops at her jawline. No sunblock anywhere else. Remember when Ruby claimed that she understood how the world worked on a molecular level because she studied science at A-Level? This rock-headed dunce doesn't even grasp the basic idea of sunburn.
Most of what she says in this section is almost entirely inaudible because, again, she doesn't understand how sound works in video, so it's just a garbled cacophony of background noise. I think she says she took a bikini, a "cardigan for Lisa"?, Call Me By Your Name (of course, can't go anywhere in Italy without the book prop she'll never read), her Kindle, a notebook and pen, a pack of playing cards, a "GYO PRYO" and airpods.
She also claims she takes hand sanitiser and a face mask, even though she cares less about hygiene and Covid safety than she does about charitable causes.
View attachment 1341709
Oh, wait, it wouldn't be a Ruby video without random irrelevant bull crammed into an unrelated video!
Her narration in this section is sped up to the point of incoherence. Long story short: She claims she took books to read, but it's debatable if she even knows how.
Some people expected an overseas holiday to be the start of some kind of growth for Ruby, but this is the same arrested development nonsense as she wastes a holiday with all the same flimsy lies and performative nonsense she shoves in every other video.
Ruby is still a strong contender for the stupidest person I've seen on YouTube, and there's people on there who eat out of toilets.
Also yeah that white dress with the black bow is cute but in context, imo she's a bit overdressed for breakfast at a seaside hotel right before going to the beach
I haven’t seen the vlog but that still image of her sleeping next to the stairs with the duvet hanging off the bed... wow, she really does like the victorian child pauper aesthetic. Grow up, Ruby!
I like the dress - compared to Ruby’s usual attire it’s definitely better. One thing I absolutely hate though is that hideous crossover blouse thing. I know it was gifted but it’s so bloomin’ awful. It’s too big, the fabric is too thick for a blouse and the style is just horrible. It looks like some 80s power-dressing jacket and it doesn’t suit her at all. Ruby showed herself wearing it the other day with a short, floaty-type skirt and the whole ensemble just needed one of her mother’s god-awful hats to make it look like the kind of outfit your gran would buy from somewhere like Peacocks or Bon Marche to wear to a wedding.
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