Thank you very much @Griftwood for the lovely new thread title, anyone want to recap? 
Ruby Granger #28 What a depacle!
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So she's changed the title and thumbnail of today's video already!?
And even after multiple tries, she still couldn't figure out how capital letters work.
Is "Five Books in a Day" the title of a book she read? If not, why are those the only capitalised words in the title?
And it continues...
The best thing about this is that Ruby has made being a gifted bookworm her entire fabricated persona up to now, and yet she is completely incapable of writing about a well-read character who makes literary references. If she struggles to write a character who is supposedly "JOHST LOIKE HARR" without crowd-sourcing her writing, then she has absolutely no hope of writing anyone more diverse than that.
Ruby has been saying for years how much she loves to research and how much she adores learning new things, yet the prospect of doing a little reading and research herself is just out of the question. And the option of simply not having the character in question spout non-stop literary references if she's unable to write them just doesn't occur to big-brain Ruby.
I'd love to know what her agent thinks of Ruby just cheating her way through the writing process like she did her essays.
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Just pulling up my armchair anyone for a disgusting glass of alcohol free prosseco
Of course the examples she cites herself are from children’s books 
“The Witches”? Seriously?
“The Witches”? Seriously?
imagine being a now former english literature student (if she graduate's that is) and a so-called "book worm" and having to ask those kind of questions on her instagram stories. surely she of all people should be able to come up with some ideas herself considering she markets herself as a lover of literature?? and even if she did struggle to think of some examples herself, google exists, the art of researching exists. can she really not be bothered to do the research herself?? i thought she loves researching and learning new things?? this girl both astounds and baffles me, she really thinks she can get through life by copying and stealing other people's ideas huh? well if she keeps this up and her book (if it gets published) is a plagiarised train-wreck i hope she gets her comeuppance
I know this topic has long passed, but I just wanted to reply to someone's comment on the previous threat about her wearing a turtleneck when it's June. I know I am also one to criticise her choice of outfits, but it really hasn't been that warm lately... Where I used to live (near Woking), we had a 2 week long heatwave in April and since then we've been having really on/off weather. A hot day every other day but most of the time it's been pretty chilly, especially in the shade. Today, for example, I wore a hoodie and leggings because the air and wind were so cold despite it being 20C out. So, while it may seem crazy for people outside of the UK to see people in England wear long sleeves in the Spring/early Summer, it's really not that unusual or odd
Our weather is just as fudged up as anywhere else in the world
Our weather is just as fudged up as anywhere else in the worldTotally unrelated but how the heck did she gain nearly 700k subscribers in just over 5 years? That's a lot for someone who only uploads school-related videos.
i think it's thanks to harry potter. It's hugely popular, even now.Totally unrelated but how the heck did she gain nearly 700k subscribers in just over 5 years? That's a lot for someone who only uploads school-related videos.
Of course Ruby's family are those kinds of insufferable royalists.
Anyone actually going hard with these celebrations is an absolute melt tbh, like has everyone suddenly forgotten that this year the Queen has spent literally millions of pounds funding her weirdo sons legal battle? Why would you want to celebrate her, especially at this time
just enjoy the bank holiday and be done with it…i didn't know she helped her degenerate son. duck thx for telling usAnyone actually going hard with these celebrations is an absolute melt tbh, like has everyone suddenly forgotten that this year the Queen has spent literally millions of pounds funding her weirdo sons legal battle? Why would you want to celebrate her, especially at this time
I've criticised Ruby for wearing her red shawl/blanket thing, but tbf it hasn't been that warm this year. I'm in the north east and it can get pretty chilly, as anyone living near the North Sea can tell you.
Do you think Ruby's posting these literature-related questions to boost engagement with followers? It's possible that she has examples of her own, but just wants to get replies. Of course, it's equally possible that she hasn't a clue and needs to crib ideas from other people...which makes you wonder what she's actually learned on her degree.
Oh wow, they've gone full Daily Mail.
But she never interacts with her fans. She doesn't even care to reply to her comments.
I remember she even said on a video that she doesn't always read her comments and that she needed to improve on that.
She cares a lot about her fans yeah.........
So I think she's trying to make something popular, and that that's why she's asking people for their fav characters, since they're her future buyers.
At least that's what i think. Can't be sure.
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She’s replied to every comment I’ve made. It’s usually a passive aggressive response, butBut she never interacts with her fans. She doesn't even care to reply to her comments.
I remember she even said on a video that she doesn't always read her comments and that she needed to improve on that.
She cares a lot about her fans yeah.........
So I think she's trying to make something popular, and that that's why she's asking people for their fav characters, since they're her future buyers.
At least that's what i think. Can't be sure.
I'm not British so I don't know the customs of Jubilee, but whenever I see THIS amount of flags all I see is a big, waving, red flag.
Cuz she thinks less about her fans and more about their public opinion of her.She’s replied to every comment I’ve made. It’s usually a passive aggressive response, but
She’s replied to every comment I’ve made. It’s usually a passive aggressive response, but
Oh yeah I noticed she ignores her fans, but if you criticize her she replies. That's probably why you got the honor of a reply. Unless you're Amy Sherman Pallandino, it is usually highly advised that you avoid having your characters speak in pop culture. It is immersion breaking, it dates a book, and nobody speaks like that in real life. Readers are not stupid -- they know you're doing it because you have no wit, and so need to rely on not only other people's work but the reader's knowledge of another person's work, to be funny.
PAHHRT TYOO!
Ruby starts her readathon with "a quick tidy" of her notoriously filthtastic kitchen. This "quick tidy" amounts to just splashing water on a couple of things and dumping them in the sink. This is (presumably) first thing in the morning and Ruby hasn't made breakfast yet, so it's a mystery where the mess materialised from. Were these plates and glasses that have just been festering in Ruby's room again overnight/for days on end?
She tosses in an undeclared ad and gets started making "brackfast".
Surprising no-one, it's a tiny serving of disordered food nonsense. A partially mashed half-banana with peanut butter, chocolate chips and possibly jam served in a ramekin more suitable for side dips and salsa, not a meal. Ruby notes that she's "obviously starting the day with peanut butter", even though she usually just has small servings of bland porridge with stray vegetables added for some reason.
As if her reprehensive ED-flaunting bullshit wasn't bad enough, she smears the glob of peanut butter into the dip bowl with her finger...
...then uses that same greased-up finger/hand to violently bend back the spine of her book and rub her grimy mitts all over it.
But Ruby AWLWAYS takes SOCH good care of her books.
And thanks to the incompetence of Ruby's editing, she cracks open the book when the bowl is empty, then when she's several pages in, the bowl magically refills to the point it was when she first assembled it:
So she either cut the footage together to give the appearance that she went back for seconds, even though the break in the banana is identical, or she just slapped together footage at random through utter incompetence. Either way, she clearly was only pretending to leaf through the book considering she was further through it in footage recorded earlier.
And then she shows some time-lapse footage of herself chewing a mug of tea.
After revealing that she was clearly not reading the book ('At The Bay' by Katherine Mansfield), Ruby inserts some B-roll footage of herself just opening the book at random pages for some reason.
She flicks through the book at random and blindly chooses a passage for one of her patented "GCSE drama"-level dramatic readings...
She's incapable of reading anything out loud without launching into the most overdramatic, wooden and utterly cringeworthy performance while having some kind of bobble-headed seizure, violently shaking her head to punctuate every sentence for some reason.
Ruby says that Mansfield is an "ACKS-QUIZAT nature WROITAH" and nature writing is some of Ruby's favourite to read.
This is only a 39 page short story and Ruby still doesn't appear to have actually read it.
Ruby claims she was going to wake up at 5:30am, but didn't.
What time did she actually wake up?
Ruby doesn't say.
"It's now corrantleee NOINE FORTY-FOIVE," Ruby says, so it took an indeterminate amount of time between 5:01 and 9:45 to pretend to read 39 pages.
"TACK-NICKLEE, THIS IS A SHORT STORY THOUGH, SYOOO...nyo, notabock," she moans. So by Ruby's own admission, this doesn't count. No books read so far.
She goes into a rambling recap of the story which she likely got from an online study guide. Ruby says this doesn't have a story as such, but that's okay because life doesn't always have a complete narrative story. This is the same Ruby who kept complaining that the nonfiction memoirs she read for uni didn't have a traditional 3 act story, so we can tell these aren't her own thoughts.
She repeats her comments on Mansfield's nature writing verbatim from earlier: "Mansfield is CLEAHHLY an ACKS-QUIZZAT nature wroiyta...and nature wroyting is som of moiy favourite wroyting."
Ruby finishes by saying it took her an hour to read, which doesn't seem to add up with all the footage she showed.
Onto booktwo one, since that first one was just a short story and by Ruby's admission, not a book.
Ruby shows off her TBR pile, which is suspiciously full of YA mysteries, despite her general dislike of YA fiction. The timing once again raises an eyebrow: She's suddenly all over the YA mystery books just as she's writing her own YA mystery and is clearly looking for material to steal.
But people won't be VARRY IMPRASSED if she just reads popular books about teens that all the proles read, so Ruby opts to pretend to read Virginia Woolf instead, to maintain her VARRY CULTURED façade.
She reads out in her manor garden, with a thick jacket on and a blanket draped over her knees like she's eking out her last days in a convalescence home.
She flicks through the book randomly and scribbles in it to highlight stray passages, because she takes SOCH GUD CAHHHR of her books.
Remember that Ruby kept saying in paid ads that Perlego was her favorite way to read and annotate books, and she uses it AWWWWHL THE TOIYMEEE, to the extent that she ran over a dozen ads for it in two weeks?
Guess what's available on Perlego?
Ruby loves using Perlego so much that she chose to deface a paperback copy and carry a separate post-it notepad (not The Notebook from PONKIN' PRODOCKTREE) to make notes instead.
It's time to go on a walk, Ruby says, and her outfit magically changes:
Are those jeans?! But Ruby NAVVER WAHRS THYOSE! Well, aside from all the times she does, but lets forget about those and this.
Apparently Ruby was too afraid of Virginia Woolf to finish reading A Room of One's Own, so we're one to bookthree one, since the first was a short story and the second was an extended essay.
Ruby claims she's going to read while walking. And by that she means she's going to act like a completely robotic, alien lunatic while wandering all around her neighbours' land.
This includes setting up her camera on fences to film herself wandering back and forth from various angles...
Standing dead-still in the middle of a field with a camera pointed straight at her while pretending to read like some illiterate Tory scarecrow...
And pretending to read while walking, which is about as natural and believable as reading while brushing your teeth, reading while flying a fighter jet or reading while performing open heart surgery...
Ruby reappears at home, with a slight outfit change, where she claims to have read half of Plath's poetry collection.
She announces that she's got herself an iced mocha. Her tea aficionado persona is dead and buried, she's into coffee now!
Presumably this is just to angle for some free gifted coffee for her parents or something, because she takes a single sip on camera, pulls a face like she's about to spit it out, then cuts away instantly. She doesn't even do her usual grimace while she chews her drink, such was the disgust for this coffee.
She protests that she ACKSUALLY LOIKES IT, then attempts another sip.
She takes a tiny, sneering, disgusted sip, tries to chew what is clearly still a liquid, then immediately cuts away again.
Ruby says that Woolf's essay is "VARRY DIFFRENT THAN WHAT [SHE] WAS ACKSPACKTING". She does not say what she was expecting or how it's different. Instead she picks a random quote: "'"I" is only a convenient term for somebody who has no real being.' - isn't that wohnderfoll?" Ruby provides no further detail as to what she found wonderful about this quote or the writing.
She neglects to quote the rest of the passage:
"Lies will flow from my lips, but there may perhaps be some truth mixed up with them; it is for you to seek out this truth and to decide whether any part of it is worth keeping. If not, you will of course throw the whole of it into the wastepaper basket and forget all about it. Here then was I (call me Mary Beton, Mary Seton, Mary Carmichael or by any name you please — it is not a matter of any importance)..."
Ruby, a compulsive liar whose entire identity is a fabrication of Frankensteined-together affectations, who can't say "I" without a dramatic pause afterwards like she's expecting applause, who lives her life under a fake name...her being drawn to this passage couldn't be more ironic.
Ruby does an awkwardly long voiceover reading of passage from Woolf, while showing herself eating a "meal" of like 5 blueberries with a fork. Why pair this footage with a quote where Woolf muses about the differences between male and female writing? Who the duck knows, but so far Ruby's only eaten a ramekin's worth of banana slop, a mocha that she had to choke down and this ridiculously small serving of fruit.
After reading what feels like the entire essay, she praises Woolf's comments on the difference between male and female authored writing without offering any real thoughts of her own. It's basically, "Woolf writes this and that is good" and no further insight. This from Ruby, who was recently claiming that she ALWAYS tries to challenge what she reads in essays to form her own opinion.
In manic, sped-up rambling, she says how sometimes you can read something and detect that something just isn't quite right and doesn't make sense. Clearly this ability does not extend to her own writing, since everything she puts to paper or says out loud is incoherent gibberish.
"This was ACKS-QUIZAT. EASILY FOIVE OUT OF FOIVE STARRS," she says. "Exquisite" was evidently on her 'Word of the Day' calendar. And then she reverts to her default "I clearly didn't read this" review: "This is one of those books that AVVERYONE SHUD READ."
Only there were two essays in this book, and Ruby says she only read one of them, so she didn't finish it.
Then it's time to pretend to clean. In Ruby's mind, "washing up" still means "give the inside of the object a half-assed wipe, but do not clean any other part of its surface, since bacteria never grows anywhere else and it's also okay to leave tonnes of food chunks in the inside as well".
After "washing up", Ruby makes some more mess with this..."meal".
I don't know what the hell this bullshit is, but it makes my appetite curl up and die, so maybe that's why Ruby made this for herself. It's a deconstructed sandwich with the thinnest bread possible, some broccoli, spinach(?), chickpeas, actual peas(?) and what is possibly jam. And then a few tiny slivers of carrot in some slop. Combined, it's a fraction of a bland, sad-ass salad.
Right on cue, Ruby complains about how cold it always is, which totally has nothing to do with the fact that she's slowly dying of malnutrition.
What's left of her feeble brain is clearly on the way out, too, since she rambles something incoherent about writing RE-FLACK-SHUNS to review, but not review, but just to write because she wants to write and "LAT" herself write. It's nonsense.
Instead of eating her weird, nonsense "meal" like a salad or putting it in a sandwich, she eats it like this - the most unappealing and inefficient way possible.
She also does that thing she always does when making a show of filming herself taking a bite of something: She bares her teeth and looks like she's about to unhinge her jaw, as though she might die of poisoning if any food actually touched her lips.
She looks like a bleeping Xenomorph from Aliens.
She takes one hideous, crunchy bite and then cuts away, so this "food" likely just got binned.
Why would you show this footage? This is a readathon vlog, not a pretend-to-eat-while-disgusting-everyone-athon vlog.
Ruby forgets to bother filming a chunk of this day, even though that was the whole point of the video.
She's apparently now reading book four, even though the title of her YouTube chapter says it's book three, when really it's book one, since all the previous things she's read were a short story, an essay and a selection of poetry which she doesn't seem to say whether she actually finished or not.
Ruby says she likes the plot, but not the writing style. The language is apparently too simple for Ruby, even though she struggles to understand and use basic language.
She then just reads out the cover blurb, so we can assume she tried reading a single page, gave up and then padded for time.
Speaking of padding, Ruby crams in another undeclared ad for a gifted product.
After some firestarting and claiming she read a lot but showing none of it, there's another spontaneous, magical outfit change and Ruby's going outside.
Ruby opens the door and appears to be holding a personal attack alarm even though she's literally just going into her back yard. I assume she's afraid that she'll encounter a charity representative looking for their cash, or possibly a hazmat team looking to fumigate her biohazard of a house.
I guess the thing she was holding was a GoPro? Although why she's filming with multiple cameras is a mystery, since that's just multiple ways it'll look like tit.
She's suddenly reading book three again (Ariel by Plath) but let's face it, it's book zero because it's a collection of poems and she's not reading this bleeping thing either.
She hasn't said what time it's supposed to be, but factor in that it was already late morning at the beginning of the video and Ruby's had several outfit changes and like 49 hours of midday sun, and there's no bleeping chance this all happened in a single day.
She claims she's finished the Plath collection, even though she's clearly only a fraction of the way in.
"YASS. It VARRY MOCH DID start raining," Ruby says as she moves to her algae-covered treehouse.
Remember, Ruby doesn't like simplistic language and can't abide it from an author, which her Notion rants assure her that SHE IS AND THAT IS HER IDENTITY.
And then she gets cold and goes inside, because despite claiming to change her outfits 506,127 times a day, wearing a coat outside when it's raining doesn't occur to her.
"I finished reading at the AND OF THE CHAPTEH...JOHST NOAW. AND...JOHST OPENED THE BOCK...AND...SOMMTHING MASSIVE HAS HAPPENED! WHICH. WAS REVEALED IN... THE FORSOFEENEJWRPWFGTHECHAPTEH--SORRY. AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THATATAWLL."
"It remoynds me of that scene in The Simpsons...whaahr Lisa's upsat. And Murg-Marge gyoes..."Awwh Lisa, is a book character having difficulties?""
And this is why Ruby has to get her fans to write her pop culture references for her. Perhaps she can get one of them to donate their brain, too, because Ruby's certainly ain't working.
"Yoo shud read this bock. And THAN you will knyow what I mean."
Ruby, there aren't enough books in the world to figure out what the duck you mean the majority of the time.
How is there still half of the video to go? Just...why?
Ruby starts her readathon with "a quick tidy" of her notoriously filthtastic kitchen. This "quick tidy" amounts to just splashing water on a couple of things and dumping them in the sink. This is (presumably) first thing in the morning and Ruby hasn't made breakfast yet, so it's a mystery where the mess materialised from. Were these plates and glasses that have just been festering in Ruby's room again overnight/for days on end?
She tosses in an undeclared ad and gets started making "brackfast".
Surprising no-one, it's a tiny serving of disordered food nonsense. A partially mashed half-banana with peanut butter, chocolate chips and possibly jam served in a ramekin more suitable for side dips and salsa, not a meal. Ruby notes that she's "obviously starting the day with peanut butter", even though she usually just has small servings of bland porridge with stray vegetables added for some reason.
As if her reprehensive ED-flaunting bullshit wasn't bad enough, she smears the glob of peanut butter into the dip bowl with her finger...
...then uses that same greased-up finger/hand to violently bend back the spine of her book and rub her grimy mitts all over it.
But Ruby AWLWAYS takes SOCH good care of her books.
And thanks to the incompetence of Ruby's editing, she cracks open the book when the bowl is empty, then when she's several pages in, the bowl magically refills to the point it was when she first assembled it:
So she either cut the footage together to give the appearance that she went back for seconds, even though the break in the banana is identical, or she just slapped together footage at random through utter incompetence. Either way, she clearly was only pretending to leaf through the book considering she was further through it in footage recorded earlier.
And then she shows some time-lapse footage of herself chewing a mug of tea.
After revealing that she was clearly not reading the book ('At The Bay' by Katherine Mansfield), Ruby inserts some B-roll footage of herself just opening the book at random pages for some reason.
She flicks through the book at random and blindly chooses a passage for one of her patented "GCSE drama"-level dramatic readings...
She's incapable of reading anything out loud without launching into the most overdramatic, wooden and utterly cringeworthy performance while having some kind of bobble-headed seizure, violently shaking her head to punctuate every sentence for some reason.
Ruby says that Mansfield is an "ACKS-QUIZAT nature WROITAH" and nature writing is some of Ruby's favourite to read.
This is only a 39 page short story and Ruby still doesn't appear to have actually read it.
Ruby claims she was going to wake up at 5:30am, but didn't.
What time did she actually wake up?
Ruby doesn't say.
"It's now corrantleee NOINE FORTY-FOIVE," Ruby says, so it took an indeterminate amount of time between 5:01 and 9:45 to pretend to read 39 pages.
"TACK-NICKLEE, THIS IS A SHORT STORY THOUGH, SYOOO...nyo, notabock," she moans. So by Ruby's own admission, this doesn't count. No books read so far.
She goes into a rambling recap of the story which she likely got from an online study guide. Ruby says this doesn't have a story as such, but that's okay because life doesn't always have a complete narrative story. This is the same Ruby who kept complaining that the nonfiction memoirs she read for uni didn't have a traditional 3 act story, so we can tell these aren't her own thoughts.
She repeats her comments on Mansfield's nature writing verbatim from earlier: "Mansfield is CLEAHHLY an ACKS-QUIZZAT nature wroiyta...and nature wroyting is som of moiy favourite wroyting."
Ruby finishes by saying it took her an hour to read, which doesn't seem to add up with all the footage she showed.
Onto book
Ruby shows off her TBR pile, which is suspiciously full of YA mysteries, despite her general dislike of YA fiction. The timing once again raises an eyebrow: She's suddenly all over the YA mystery books just as she's writing her own YA mystery and is clearly looking for material to steal.
But people won't be VARRY IMPRASSED if she just reads popular books about teens that all the proles read, so Ruby opts to pretend to read Virginia Woolf instead, to maintain her VARRY CULTURED façade.
She reads out in her manor garden, with a thick jacket on and a blanket draped over her knees like she's eking out her last days in a convalescence home.
She flicks through the book randomly and scribbles in it to highlight stray passages, because she takes SOCH GUD CAHHHR of her books.
Remember that Ruby kept saying in paid ads that Perlego was her favorite way to read and annotate books, and she uses it AWWWWHL THE TOIYMEEE, to the extent that she ran over a dozen ads for it in two weeks?
Guess what's available on Perlego?
Ruby loves using Perlego so much that she chose to deface a paperback copy and carry a separate post-it notepad (not The Notebook from PONKIN' PRODOCKTREE) to make notes instead.
It's time to go on a walk, Ruby says, and her outfit magically changes:
Are those jeans?! But Ruby NAVVER WAHRS THYOSE! Well, aside from all the times she does, but lets forget about those and this.
Apparently Ruby was too afraid of Virginia Woolf to finish reading A Room of One's Own, so we're one to book
Ruby claims she's going to read while walking. And by that she means she's going to act like a completely robotic, alien lunatic while wandering all around her neighbours' land.
This includes setting up her camera on fences to film herself wandering back and forth from various angles...
Standing dead-still in the middle of a field with a camera pointed straight at her while pretending to read like some illiterate Tory scarecrow...
And pretending to read while walking, which is about as natural and believable as reading while brushing your teeth, reading while flying a fighter jet or reading while performing open heart surgery...
Ruby reappears at home, with a slight outfit change, where she claims to have read half of Plath's poetry collection.
She announces that she's got herself an iced mocha. Her tea aficionado persona is dead and buried, she's into coffee now!
Presumably this is just to angle for some free gifted coffee for her parents or something, because she takes a single sip on camera, pulls a face like she's about to spit it out, then cuts away instantly. She doesn't even do her usual grimace while she chews her drink, such was the disgust for this coffee.
She protests that she ACKSUALLY LOIKES IT, then attempts another sip.
She takes a tiny, sneering, disgusted sip, tries to chew what is clearly still a liquid, then immediately cuts away again.
Ruby says that Woolf's essay is "VARRY DIFFRENT THAN WHAT [SHE] WAS ACKSPACKTING". She does not say what she was expecting or how it's different. Instead she picks a random quote: "'"I" is only a convenient term for somebody who has no real being.' - isn't that wohnderfoll?" Ruby provides no further detail as to what she found wonderful about this quote or the writing.
She neglects to quote the rest of the passage:
"Lies will flow from my lips, but there may perhaps be some truth mixed up with them; it is for you to seek out this truth and to decide whether any part of it is worth keeping. If not, you will of course throw the whole of it into the wastepaper basket and forget all about it. Here then was I (call me Mary Beton, Mary Seton, Mary Carmichael or by any name you please — it is not a matter of any importance)..."
Ruby, a compulsive liar whose entire identity is a fabrication of Frankensteined-together affectations, who can't say "I" without a dramatic pause afterwards like she's expecting applause, who lives her life under a fake name...her being drawn to this passage couldn't be more ironic.
Ruby does an awkwardly long voiceover reading of passage from Woolf, while showing herself eating a "meal" of like 5 blueberries with a fork. Why pair this footage with a quote where Woolf muses about the differences between male and female writing? Who the duck knows, but so far Ruby's only eaten a ramekin's worth of banana slop, a mocha that she had to choke down and this ridiculously small serving of fruit.
After reading what feels like the entire essay, she praises Woolf's comments on the difference between male and female authored writing without offering any real thoughts of her own. It's basically, "Woolf writes this and that is good" and no further insight. This from Ruby, who was recently claiming that she ALWAYS tries to challenge what she reads in essays to form her own opinion.
In manic, sped-up rambling, she says how sometimes you can read something and detect that something just isn't quite right and doesn't make sense. Clearly this ability does not extend to her own writing, since everything she puts to paper or says out loud is incoherent gibberish.
"This was ACKS-QUIZAT. EASILY FOIVE OUT OF FOIVE STARRS," she says. "Exquisite" was evidently on her 'Word of the Day' calendar. And then she reverts to her default "I clearly didn't read this" review: "This is one of those books that AVVERYONE SHUD READ."
Only there were two essays in this book, and Ruby says she only read one of them, so she didn't finish it.
Then it's time to pretend to clean. In Ruby's mind, "washing up" still means "give the inside of the object a half-assed wipe, but do not clean any other part of its surface, since bacteria never grows anywhere else and it's also okay to leave tonnes of food chunks in the inside as well".
After "washing up", Ruby makes some more mess with this..."meal".
I don't know what the hell this bullshit is, but it makes my appetite curl up and die, so maybe that's why Ruby made this for herself. It's a deconstructed sandwich with the thinnest bread possible, some broccoli, spinach(?), chickpeas, actual peas(?) and what is possibly jam. And then a few tiny slivers of carrot in some slop. Combined, it's a fraction of a bland, sad-ass salad.
Right on cue, Ruby complains about how cold it always is, which totally has nothing to do with the fact that she's slowly dying of malnutrition.
What's left of her feeble brain is clearly on the way out, too, since she rambles something incoherent about writing RE-FLACK-SHUNS to review, but not review, but just to write because she wants to write and "LAT" herself write. It's nonsense.
Instead of eating her weird, nonsense "meal" like a salad or putting it in a sandwich, she eats it like this - the most unappealing and inefficient way possible.
She also does that thing she always does when making a show of filming herself taking a bite of something: She bares her teeth and looks like she's about to unhinge her jaw, as though she might die of poisoning if any food actually touched her lips.
She looks like a bleeping Xenomorph from Aliens.
She takes one hideous, crunchy bite and then cuts away, so this "food" likely just got binned.
Why would you show this footage? This is a readathon vlog, not a pretend-to-eat-while-disgusting-everyone-athon vlog.
Ruby forgets to bother filming a chunk of this day, even though that was the whole point of the video.
She's apparently now reading book four, even though the title of her YouTube chapter says it's book three, when really it's book one, since all the previous things she's read were a short story, an essay and a selection of poetry which she doesn't seem to say whether she actually finished or not.
Ruby says she likes the plot, but not the writing style. The language is apparently too simple for Ruby, even though she struggles to understand and use basic language.
She then just reads out the cover blurb, so we can assume she tried reading a single page, gave up and then padded for time.
Speaking of padding, Ruby crams in another undeclared ad for a gifted product.
After some firestarting and claiming she read a lot but showing none of it, there's another spontaneous, magical outfit change and Ruby's going outside.
Ruby opens the door and appears to be holding a personal attack alarm even though she's literally just going into her back yard. I assume she's afraid that she'll encounter a charity representative looking for their cash, or possibly a hazmat team looking to fumigate her biohazard of a house.
I guess the thing she was holding was a GoPro? Although why she's filming with multiple cameras is a mystery, since that's just multiple ways it'll look like tit.
She's suddenly reading book three again (Ariel by Plath) but let's face it, it's book zero because it's a collection of poems and she's not reading this bleeping thing either.
She hasn't said what time it's supposed to be, but factor in that it was already late morning at the beginning of the video and Ruby's had several outfit changes and like 49 hours of midday sun, and there's no bleeping chance this all happened in a single day.
She claims she's finished the Plath collection, even though she's clearly only a fraction of the way in.
"YASS. It VARRY MOCH DID start raining," Ruby says as she moves to her algae-covered treehouse.
Remember, Ruby doesn't like simplistic language and can't abide it from an author, which her Notion rants assure her that SHE IS AND THAT IS HER IDENTITY.
And then she gets cold and goes inside, because despite claiming to change her outfits 506,127 times a day, wearing a coat outside when it's raining doesn't occur to her.
"I finished reading at the AND OF THE CHAPTEH...JOHST NOAW. AND...JOHST OPENED THE BOCK...AND...SOMMTHING MASSIVE HAS HAPPENED! WHICH. WAS REVEALED IN... THE FORSOFEENEJWRPWFGTHECHAPTEH--SORRY. AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THATATAWLL."
"It remoynds me of that scene in The Simpsons...whaahr Lisa's upsat. And Murg-Marge gyoes..."Awwh Lisa, is a book character having difficulties?""
And this is why Ruby has to get her fans to write her pop culture references for her. Perhaps she can get one of them to donate their brain, too, because Ruby's certainly ain't working.
"Yoo shud read this bock. And THAN you will knyow what I mean."
Ruby, there aren't enough books in the world to figure out what the duck you mean the majority of the time.
How is there still half of the video to go? Just...why?
- Status