I'm awaiting the inevitable 4-5 stars on Goodreads, either with no review at all, or a pointlessly vague one that repeats the pull-quotes she was handed at the screening and confirms that she didn't read it:
"Anyone who knows me knows I don't usually read graphic novels but I loved this so, so much! It's groundbreaking, honest, authentic and moving - but also joyful and fun! I would HIGHLY recommend this to anyone! Also check out the TV show which is one of my most favourite series! (4 stars)"
Well, she didn't even give it a score on Goodreads, but she did "review" it in an Instagram reel.
"I FINALLY got around to reading Heartstopper YASTuhday and LAT ME TAL YOO, I can see why it
is got the hype it has..."
All Ruby's narration now sounds like she's just smeared peanut butter all over her mouth, it's just gross lip-smacking between every syllable. It makes my skin crawl.
"It's JOST SYO unlike everything I've read before..."
That's not to say it's a unique and revolutionary book, just that Ruby never reads anything that isn't about rich children, with a recommended reading age of 8-10.
"It's about tyoo boys, NickandCharlie, byoth around fifteen, who fall in love, and roughly half is SAT at their school."
This tells me nothing. Ruby's just flicked through this and read the cover blurb again.
"The REALLY distinctive thing is how REAL it all is. I just LOVE how Osman focuses on toiny myoments instead of HUGE unrealistic plotlines."
I mean...that's almost every teen drama/romance story. And the "real" teen drama moments are the ones Ruby has been very outspoken about not liking and has a tendency to just skip over those subplots, even when it's integral to the story. Weird how that suddenly changes when she needs to advertise something and has very little idea what it's about.
"...AND syo moch VISUAL SPACE is given to these myoments on the page."
Ruby, it's a GRAPHIC novel. Of course there's going to be a lot of visual space devoted to the story. That's kind of the point of the entire medium: it's 90% artwork. That's like reviewing a prose novel and saying, "So many words and paragraphs were centred around the plot and the characters."
"It's just real--A REAL STORY--and thyose stories are some of the basst."
Ruby didn't want to reuse the words "authentic" and "honest" again, but her brain is a withered prune and couldn't come up with any other synonyms, so she just keeps talking about how "real" it is without expanding on that in any way whatsoever.
"This was a really quick and comforting read which you should DAFFINITELY try ahead of the shyow which comes out today and is jost as gud."
In true Ruby fashion, she used a lot of words to say nothing at all. Yet again, it's so vague that I don't think for a second that she read this. If she did, that'd be even more damning in a way, because this is the most her brain can critically engage with or describe a book after years of studying English Literature and pretending to read hundreds of books a year.
Her review footage is also SYO AUTHANTIC that she gets in bed to pretend to read...
But the camera angle changes twice, so she got out of bed just to get different angles of her pretending to read: