I think, in this country, there’s a lot of pressure to go to uni straight from school (or at least be already committed to a uni place if you’re taking a year off) and the idea of taking a year out to specifically reapply to a certain university isn’t common. It also gets harder to apply if you are out of education, in that (at least in my day, which was admittedly a while ago) you need an ‘educational’ reference as part of your UCAS application and getting that when you’re no longer in school/college is hard. Plus I think there’s a perception that for Oxbridge you need a lot of prep and support and you wouldn’t get that applying independently. I actually think it would have done someone like Ruby a lot of good to take that time out and really think about uni, but given her school background it probably wasn’t really presented as an option.
Ruby Granger #18 Still no deal with Waterstones but half her food was mailed from home
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Also it's clear now why Jade and Ruby didn't get a place, they both like to ramble but actually aren't very good at putting forward coherent points. Both Jade and Ruby like to sound clever, informed, studious but they play at it. I bet at the Oxford interviews the interviewers could see straight through their waffle. I think they probably thought Ruby would not be able to cope with the time pressures and the transition from 'big-fish-in-small-pond-now-surrounded-by-bigger-fish-in-ocean'. So many students struggle when they leave their cosier school classes and join university seminars where everyone there is bright. Even if Ruby reapplied I think she would have struggled. Whilst Eve Bennett annoys me sometimes she does seem more grounded and is making active attempt this year to balance her life so that studies don't get on top of her to the detriment of her mental health. She is maturing whereas Ruby is regressing.
Definitely, I think that in the case of both Ruby and Jade it did show that the interview process worked as I don’t think either of them would really have done well at Oxford. Jade might, but fact that she dropped biology completely and went down the Minerva route suggests that they picked up that she wasn’t really that committed, but it’s increasingly obvious that Ruby would have been totally crushed by the course and the environment.
I also think that neither of them really understood how to work the system, whereas it’s clear that people like Eve and Vee did - both applied to less popular colleges for less popular subjects which gave them much better odds. I’ve said it before but if Oxford and only Oxford was Ruby’s aim, then she made it harder for herself by applying for one of the most popular subjects at a popular college. If she’d applied for Theology at one of the smaller colleges then she might have had a better chance of getting in.
She was probably arrogant enough to think that not only would she get accepted, but she would be the smartest one there.
Right I've been watching this thread for too long and these are my 2 cents.
Firstly as someone who struggles with social anxiety it is absolutely ok to spend a lot or time in your room, but there is a condition attached to how ok this is. Is it debilitating to their quality of life? i.e can't leave the house, feel anxious constantly , won't eat or take care of themselves because they physically can't leave the room or house? Does the person themselves feel limited by their behaviour and wish they could do more, if so this person would need support and or therapy. Ruby's video I feel demonstrates that she has a desire to be with people and socialise in some way but feels she cannot do so, so comes across as passively aggressive or trying to self justify her actions.
Secondly I genuinely believe she is not in a great head-space, she may have dug the hole deeper for herself but with nearly 2 years of lockdowns, it was too easy for some ( with accepting families and financial stability) to regress back to old habits or old coping mechanisms if they struggle with their mental health. It has become the norm to reduce contact with others, spend all time at home contrary to any advice any therapist would give to do if you're not well mentally.
The thing Is it's up to ruby herself to decide to work on this or not, if she decides that she will stick with current patterns of behaviour and thought despite it being adverse to both her physical and mental health, she is the only one responsible for this. It's not her privileged uprbrining, Oxford rejection, or parents that are responsible for a change in her thought patterns. I do hope she does recognises the reality she created around her and is making steps to change this before it gets too out of hand.
Firstly as someone who struggles with social anxiety it is absolutely ok to spend a lot or time in your room, but there is a condition attached to how ok this is. Is it debilitating to their quality of life? i.e can't leave the house, feel anxious constantly , won't eat or take care of themselves because they physically can't leave the room or house? Does the person themselves feel limited by their behaviour and wish they could do more, if so this person would need support and or therapy. Ruby's video I feel demonstrates that she has a desire to be with people and socialise in some way but feels she cannot do so, so comes across as passively aggressive or trying to self justify her actions.
Secondly I genuinely believe she is not in a great head-space, she may have dug the hole deeper for herself but with nearly 2 years of lockdowns, it was too easy for some ( with accepting families and financial stability) to regress back to old habits or old coping mechanisms if they struggle with their mental health. It has become the norm to reduce contact with others, spend all time at home contrary to any advice any therapist would give to do if you're not well mentally.
The thing Is it's up to ruby herself to decide to work on this or not, if she decides that she will stick with current patterns of behaviour and thought despite it being adverse to both her physical and mental health, she is the only one responsible for this. It's not her privileged uprbrining, Oxford rejection, or parents that are responsible for a change in her thought patterns. I do hope she does recognises the reality she created around her and is making steps to change this before it gets too out of hand.
I have some sympathy here for Ruby as I think she was perhaps somewhat misled as to her capabilities by her parents and school. Not to say she isn’t clever, but it seems a massive disservice to let someone genuinely think they’re a super-duper special and unique genius when the basis for comparison is quite limited. I’m always a bit shocked when people go from school to uni and are distressed when they’re just one among many equally bright people. I’m all for giving people confidence but it seems like you’re setting someone up for failure if you give them an unrealistic assessment of their abilities.
You're right with this. It's really unfair to a child to make them believe they're some kind of genius child prodigy.
But I don't think the school was wrong to encourage her to apply to Oxford - she did manage to get an interview after all, and she wouldn't have been invited to interview if she wasn't seriously considered as a potential applicant.
Even if they didn't think she would get in or thrive there, it can still be a confidence boost to be asked to interview at Oxford.
In Ruby's case, it had the opposite effect and crushed her.
I guess they might have known that she would tank the interview, but they also might not have - she always appeared very confident and well-spoken at that age. Either way they gave her the opportunity to try and give it a go, and you never know, a student might surprise you if you give them the chance!
Maybe if Ruby had been humbled a bit more, practised how the interview would go and how to sound articulate and relaxed instead of having a single myopic focus on studying more than anyone else and appearing as the smartest person in the room and having all her written work ready she would have had a greater chance. She thought she was prepared but wasn't was the issue. I can't disagree that she had an unrealistic idea of her abilities. Oxford was probably the first time in her life she'd failed something, hadn't achieved what she wanted to so of course it was a huge blow for a time. Her teachers may have been as surprised as her when she didn't get a place.
It's very strange how she speaks about good parts of life, when she was saying it's problematic to say university was the best of your life because you'll have stressful and tiring periods with deadlines and exams. What she doesn't realise is all of those trying moments are what help to make university such an amazing and important part of life - if you go to university, I'm aware it's not for everyone. I had such an unbelievable amount of growth from when I started and left university, and for the 3 years on my graduate scheme which was more stressful than university. Your early twenties are seen as a great time because you come out of them a new person and you're unlikely to develop and grow at that rate ever again in your life. The reason she isn't getting the benefit of these years is because she doesn't want to grow or change.
It's clear she hasn't grown much at all, she's unwilling to try anything different or develop a new viewpoint. It's worrying to watch because I feel she's going to have such a difficult life if she can't spend a day away from her family and continues longing for her school years.
It's clear she hasn't grown much at all, she's unwilling to try anything different or develop a new viewpoint. It's worrying to watch because I feel she's going to have such a difficult life if she can't spend a day away from her family and continues longing for her school years.
Didn't she have a video on how badly her interview went? I vaguely recall it.
Instead of displaying originality, intelligence, and real passion for the subject, she probably just sat there blurting a bunch of factoids at the poor cringing interviewers. I bet they saw right through that, and even now she'd never proven them wrong otherwise.
Instead of displaying originality, intelligence, and real passion for the subject, she probably just sat there blurting a bunch of factoids at the poor cringing interviewers. I bet they saw right through that, and even now she'd never proven them wrong otherwise.
I’ve also just had a thought, isn’t it seriously bad forethought on Ruby’s part to put this video up right as she’s (supposedly assuming she finishes uni this year) starting to look for employment? Even if she does an MA etc how is an employer going to think of your candidate uploaded something like that in the last say three years? It really shows just how bad her reactions to any slightest inconvenience to her plan/idea/mindset really it, her crying at her first mark she could pass off as total honesty and even self reflection on her big fish /small pond transition into uni but here she is 4 years later showing how little she’s developed - what as soon as she’s slightly demystified with her job and company is she going to start regretting all of her choices and run home to her parents? Even if she just thinks she could have done a bit better at a task or in a meeting, even if no one directly says something to her, is she going to start having a crisis in her own head like in this video, then god forbid anyone actually have to give her constructive criticism (she’s already shown in her grade reaction videos long last her first one that she’ll get defensive over the tiniest comment not in her favour but faux obedience to the “teacher” and say of course she’ll take it on board) That whole video is going to cause some major red flags for employers in the future
I agree
If anything I’ve always felt that her school did her a bit of a disservice around the whole interview process. I have no idea what her school’s Oxbridge prep and support was like but Ruby seemed totally focused on doing loads and loads of extra work, and whilst this can have value she never seemed to think about the actual interview. It seems like that was where she was let down, because as soon as she had to think on her feet and make those links between her knowledge and research and the stuff she was presented at interview, she panicked. I always thought private schools tended to do a lot better in terms of things like practice interviews but I wonder what support Ruby had in that line.I bet those of us who are currently working get picked up and snipped at and hovered over by bosses who always find something to criticise, and yes it’s annoying but we get on with it because it’s our job. I can’t see Ruby doing my admin job and coping with the comments I get from annoying coworkers etc.
Exactly. Even at interview stage saying what she did about her amount of friends (just the one) and stance on socialising would raise a few eyebrows because a lot of companies are, especially post covid, working hard on their office environments and social side (at least in the sector I work in because it can get quite network reliant thought not to the extent of some sectors like law) - seeing this would just make me think she’s not going to bother interacting at all either professionally or socially and I really can’t see anyone looking past that, and this is even before you get to the actual interview which I’m pretty sure beyond like newspaper interviews and her one for her internship (which was internal so presumably with a lecturer she was at least aware of even if she didn’t know them) she hasn’t done a formal interview since her Oxford one
Not saying she wouldn’t get hired for being an introvert or a shy person (hi I’m also one) but especially depending on the job your ability to communicate with colleagues and generally fit in with the culture of the company is always going to be a big point at interview so if she rambles like she did in this video I can’t see any company wanting to deal with that uphill battle
Agreed, Holly Gabrielle is also scoring an own goal on her channel by showing how she doesn’t really participate in group work, like with her assignment where she barely contacted her group mates to collaborate and she rambled in vlogs about not liking group work... it all sends employers red flags.
Also, sorry last addition, I finally pushed through the whole video and it strikes me that I’m 90% sure she didn’t really use the word balance once when I’m sure that would have been a much better point to make 
You don’t have to go partying to make friends at uni, but maybe balance that with going slightly out of your comfort zone and joining a society or making sure you speak to the person next to you in lectures - that alone sounds a lot healthier than Ruby’s ill conceived notion of the evils of socialising - it’s the same with going home yes you can go home when you feel you need it but maybe balance that with deciding to spend the weekend with some friends and have a break from your tough uni work that way first and if you’re still down maybe then go home
You don’t have to go partying to make friends at uni, but maybe balance that with going slightly out of your comfort zone and joining a society or making sure you speak to the person next to you in lectures - that alone sounds a lot healthier than Ruby’s ill conceived notion of the evils of socialising - it’s the same with going home yes you can go home when you feel you need it but maybe balance that with deciding to spend the weekend with some friends and have a break from your tough uni work that way first and if you’re still down maybe then go homeI've managed to obtain the audio transcript of the interview:
Ruby: "Hello, it's Roobee!"
Interviewer: "Hello Ruby, I'm Professor Farfington, I'll be carrying out the interview today. Why don't you tell us about yourself?"
Ruby: "Hello, it's Roobee, and today oiy'm gyowing tyoo bee telling you all about myself.
I despise the bay-nal existence of most students, and I'm much more enlightenified than all the modern teenagers who just go to parties, consume ethanol - which 19th Century poet Hughly W. M. Poffershire observed was "the devil's elixir" - and then inject marijuana and smoke cocaines before going on a crime spree. I enjoy a much more civilised lifestyle and am a total bookworm.
I love Emily Dickinson, because she got to stay home all the time and never interact socially, but also her poetry is just so pictatorial and eclacktic and I love how her words flow but halt and distinctly but serenely conjure up both images and emotions, too.
I'm such a natural planner, and I'm obsessed with organising so that all of my life is run like clockwork, which is why I was ten minutes late for this interview which I apologise unresordedly and unequavotably about but it was beyond my control as my backup planner for my to-do list only had enough space to put 15 entries and those were taken up by reminding myself to brush my teeth and listen to classical music, so there was no place to write the time of this interview. I one day hope to create a planner that has at least 16 entries though, which will racktify this crime that the universe inflicted upon me.
Speaking of being bullied, I was savagely bullied in school, but this made me a stronger person, because when I remembered I was bullied after making it up in the fictional book I wrote, I realised that you only get bullied if you're better than other people, because mummy says people are all jealous of me because I'm so much more special than other people, but it's important that we pretend to shop at Tesco occasionally to stay humble. And I think it's important that we normalise and romanticise that, because the entophy of our spirit is only emboldinged by the quaffness of our blurburr."
Interviewer: "And you say English is your first language?"
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Just a little reminder that uni really might not be the best time of their lives for some people. Personally, my uni years sucked but it was due to untreated mental illnesses. I guess it hits a bit close to home because I lived my uni years like Ruby, minus the studying. And I regret not getting help, or the right help, earlier because I'm sure I would have enjoyed my early 20s so much more.
Her issue is pretty much what mine was. Social anxiety and not realizing that feeling anxious is part of breaking the anxious cycle and growing. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Which is something she hasn't realized yet. And if she doesn't, she will be 30 and regret her 20s. She's spent her life doing busy work and now she just isolates herself and plays childhood pretend.
Her issue is pretty much what mine was. Social anxiety and not realizing that feeling anxious is part of breaking the anxious cycle and growing. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone. Which is something she hasn't realized yet. And if she doesn't, she will be 30 and regret her 20s. She's spent her life doing busy work and now she just isolates herself and plays childhood pretend.
This so much. I was stuck studying something I didn't really want because it was expected of me, I was depressed and wasn't really aware, I avoided life at all costs and barely went to uni on my second year. How I've managed to keep friends and graduate is beyond me but this meant that I neither made the most of my time during my degree nor did I take advantage of that transition period to its fullest.
Ruby is in no place to give advice to those who might be struggling with their studies and social life at uni; she needs serious help herself. While trying to comfort herself about her life choices, she doesn't realise that she is also harming others by keeping them from acknowledging that this is a problem that should and can be solved. Either that, or she wants companions while she regresses back to her infancy because she refuses to accept that normalising something doesn't mean encouraging habits and coping mechanisms that are harmful in the long term.
Just wanted to say that while Ruby absolutely wouldn't have thrived at Oxford, a LOT of students don't thrive there and you can still perform well at interview/be good enough to get in and also struggle with the lack of mental health support, ridiculous workload, intense terms etc once you actually get there. Struggling at Oxford doesn't mean that you're not good enough or that you just can't cut it. Support varies massively from college to college, tutor to tutor, and if you're an anxious/insecure person (as a lot of high performing students are) it can be really challenging.
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