Ruby Granger #18 Still no deal with Waterstones but half her food was mailed from home

[aplaceicantsee]

I'm all for some light criticism of Ruby but sometimes you guys project your own issues SO MUCH.

I'm genuinely sorry some of you had crappy childhoods / experiences at uni / whatever else but it doesn't mean that everyone else deserves to have a tit time to match it?! If she wants to go home whenever she wants to then so what? I know some people can't for money reasons / jobs or whatever which sucks - I've been there too and been so desperate to go home but if other people can and want to then I'm not fussed! Sometimes some of the posts on this thread deep everything so much - in the same way that we shouldn't and couldn't all live like Ruby, not everyone can or should live like you either.

Different people are different - some people love going to see their family, others aren't fussed. I've had times where I've gone home on back to back weekends (due to MH, but it literally doesn't matter why, doesn't need a reason) and others when I've spent whole terms away from home. I'm well-adjusted, doing my seconds degree, have plenty of friends and all that jazz, and still love to see my family. It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!

 

[celluloia]

I'm well-adjusted, doing my seconds degree, have plenty of friends and all that jazz, and still love to see my family. It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!

Agree so much with your whole post !! Thanks for being the voice of reason !! So much of our criticism of ruby is valid with all her nonsense and the image she’s projecting to very young people and lots of our messages are exaggerated for comedies sake lol I acknowledge that but sometimes it goes far too deep on here. Agree totally with previous poster that we’re all projecting our own very individual experiences onto ruby, maybe I’m biased from the other end of the opinion spectrum as I’m very close with my mum and talk to / see her everyday but I don’t see the major issue with Ruby popping home every few weeks, especially with working through some separation anxiety. Maybe it’s laughable to some that she’s proud of 6 weeks away from home with a few visits from parents in between but if that was me I’d be genuinely quite proud of myself. No matter your views on Ruby’s lack of comprehension of her own privilege (yes I despise it too lol) I think we can’t forget her lived experience really IS different to ours. If you’re like her and have never been away from home then yes obviously it will be difficult ?? not at all saying it’s healthy for her to be this far into her degree and still battling with this but I also don’t think it’s the freak show or imitation of childhood that some on here make it out to be. Maybe its not the norm but I have tons of friends at my uni and further up the country (UK) who pop home for weekend trips / weekday trips when they don’t have classes / entire weeks home at reading week / have parents up to stay etc and so do I which informs my perspective on it. Of course any given view is gonna depend on your own experience with working at uni / closeness with family / degree of individuality before entering uni

Again sorry to rant lol I don’t mean to bore anyone with going off on a tangent and let me reiterate that there is SOOOOO much to criticise rubes on. I just feel this is the one area that gets insanely exaggerated on here for whatever reason and I don’t see why

 

[phantomsbaebe]

Agree so much with your whole post !! Thanks for being the voice of reason !! So much of our criticism of ruby is valid with all her nonsense and the image she’s projecting to very young people and lots of our messages are exaggerated for comedies sake lol I acknowledge that but sometimes it goes far too deep on here. Agree totally with previous poster that we’re all projecting our own very individual experiences onto ruby, maybe I’m biased from the other end of the opinion spectrum as I’m very close with my mum and talk to / see her everyday but I don’t see the major issue with Ruby popping home every few weeks, especially with working through some separation anxiety. Maybe it’s laughable to some that she’s proud of 6 weeks away from home with a few visits from parents in between but if that was me I’d be genuinely quite proud of myself. No matter your views on Ruby’s lack of comprehension of her own privilege (yes I despise it too lol) I think we can’t forget her lived experience really IS different to ours. If you’re like her and have never been away from home then yes obviously it will be difficult ?? not at all saying it’s healthy for her to be this far into her degree and still battling with this but I also don’t think it’s the freak show or imitation of childhood that some on here make it out to be. Maybe its not the norm but I have tons of friends at my uni and further up the country (UK) who pop home for weekend trips / weekday trips when they don’t have classes / entire weeks home at reading week / have parents up to stay etc and so do I which informs my perspective on it. Of course any given view is gonna depend on your own experience with working at uni / closeness with family / degree of individuality before entering uni

Again sorry to rant lol I don’t mean to bore anyone with going off on a tangent and let me reiterate that there is SOOOOO much to criticise rubes on. I just feel this is the one area that gets insanely exaggerated on here for whatever reason and I don’t see why

Okay, I'm sorry if I came across as overly harsh and critical of Ruby in my post. I concede that your point about lived experience is absolutely true. When I was 21, I had moved out of home and I didn't speak to my parents for weeks at a time let alone see them. I had detached myself from my childhood home and suppose now with the passage of time, what is really easy to me is likely less easy for someone younger than me and going through that. I have always been a very independent person and I hate leaning on people for anything which is an unhealthy way of being and I think I leant into that when I was thinking about this. She has the right to not be like that and I'm sorry if I was overly critical of her and by extension, others that have a similar experience x

 

[dodadedo]

I still can’t quite work out why she went to Exeter at all. I know it’s RG and has a good reputation for English (and the JK Rowling link …) but Ruby choosing to go there almost feels like another knee jerk reaction to not getting into Oxford, in much the same vein as her deciding to do Theology. It’s almost as if she thought ‘if I can’t read English Lit at Oxford then I won’t do English at all, and if I can’t go to Oxford then I’ll go to a uni that’s really, really far away even though I know I get terribly homesick’, and didn’t think what that would practically mean. I know the pandemic has messed everything up, and that Ruby wanted a ‘country’ uni but even a central London uni would probably have been better for her in terms of getting home easily - hell, she could even have lived at home and commuted, it’s not like she can’t afford a railcard. Ruby seems to have had really poor advice about university. Either that or she didn’t listen to what she was being told.

She should have gone somewhere like Royal Holloway. About 45 mins-1 hour max from home (driving), it feels countryside because it's in leafy Egham, has the world-renown Victorian redbrick Founders Building she could have lived in... Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head by suggesting she didn't think at all beyond I WANT TO GO TO OXFORD.

 

[rorygilmore2020]

I'm all for some light criticism of Ruby but sometimes you guys project your own issues SO MUCH.

I'm genuinely sorry some of you had crappy childhoods / experiences at uni / whatever else but it doesn't mean that everyone else deserves to have a tit time to match it?! If she wants to go home whenever she wants to then so what? I know some people can't for money reasons / jobs or whatever which sucks - I've been there too and been so desperate to go home but if other people can and want to then I'm not fussed! Sometimes some of the posts on this thread deep everything so much - in the same way that we shouldn't and couldn't all live like Ruby, not everyone can or should live like you either.

Different people are different - some people love going to see their family, others aren't fussed. I've had times where I've gone home on back to back weekends (due to MH, but it literally doesn't matter why, doesn't need a reason) and others when I've spent whole terms away from home. I'm well-adjusted, doing my seconds degree, have plenty of friends and all that jazz, and still love to see my family. It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!

Seconding this, there is so much to legitimately criticise Ruby for but this point is just so boring now!! She likes going home and that's not a bad thing really. Also, sometimes I feel like we end up in this cycle of competing over who worked hardest at uni here. Reading week isn't a holiday, I agree, but we criticise her for doing too much extra work and now we're criticising her for taking time off. It doesn't make sense.

 

[gossip_guy]

It's not a negative whatever you do as long as it suits you!

Pretty sure it's a negative when going home for extended periods of time causes you to regress into childhood, fuels your obvious mental health issues and blatant eating disorder massively, and you then encourage impressionable viewers to act the same.

Someone going home a lot at uni is fine if that's what makes them happy. But Ruby's eating disorder and weird behaviour kicked into high gear when she moved back home last year. Buying a child's bed, wearing children's clothes, reading only children's books and eating baby food are not the positive, harmless actions of a normal adult just wanting to chill with their parents a lot. They're the actions of someone with massive mental problems.

If you spend a lot of time at home and are also a well-adjusted person, that's great! If Ruby were the same, this wouldn't be such a big point of discussion. But Ruby's not a well-adjusted person, and spending so much time obsessively reliant on the presence of her parents clearly isn't doing her any good.

Her need to be at home clearly isn't just homesickness. Running home at every opportunity, dragging her parents hundreds of miles to see her at every opportunity, making them take holidays near her just to see them, making them chaperone her on all her holidays and camping trips with her adult student friends, having her dad GPS track her at all times, writing endless letters to both her parents every couple of days isn't normal. It's compulsive behaviour. She's taking proudly about spending time away from her parents like she's 6 weeks sober from addiction. Tied with her eating disorder, it's a big red flag that she needs therapy.

 

[3calico3]

Pretty sure it's a negative when going home for extended periods of time causes you to regress into childhood, fuels your obvious mental health issues and blatant eating disorder massively, and you then encourage impressionable viewers to act the same.

Someone going home a lot at uni is fine if that's what makes them happy. But Ruby's eating disorder and weird behaviour kicked into high gear when she moved back home last year. Buying a child's bed, wearing children's clothes, reading only children's books and eating baby food are not the positive, harmless actions of a normal adult just wanting to chill with their parents a lot. They're the actions of someone with massive mental problems.

If you spend a lot of time at home and are also a well-adjusted person, that's great! If Ruby were the same, this wouldn't be such a big point of discussion. But Ruby's not a well-adjusted person, and spending so much time obsessively reliant on the presence of her parents clearly isn't doing her any good.

Her need to be at home clearly isn't just homesickness. Running home at every opportunity, dragging her parents hundreds of miles to see her at every opportunity, making them take holidays near her just to see them, making them chaperone her on all her holidays and camping trips with her adult student friends, having her dad GPS track her at all times, writing endless letters to both her parents every couple of days isn't normal. It's compulsive behaviour. She's taking proudly about spending time away from her parents like she's 6 weeks sober from addiction. Tied with her eating disorder, it's a big red flag that she needs therapy.

Agreed. Homesickness in and of itself is not a bad thing per se, however... in her case, I wouldn't say it's homesickness.

She seems to consider her 'homesickness' as a personality trait, rather than something that needs to be worked through and explored - it would open up so many opportunities if she was willing to work on it. I remember Grackle mentioning in one of her videos a while back that she would get really homesick, but she put in the effort to address it so she could live more freely.

I think in Ruby's case it's a complex relationship between 1) being more free to regress into childish ways when she's at home (due to limited/no expectations to be an adult by her family), and 2) she doesn't need to do anything much for herself/go anywhere alone when she's at home. For someone who wants to spend all day every day studying or doing their specific interests without being challenged, those two reasons are pretty attractive. Also, if she imagines a future where she never moves out of her parents' home, then she probably doesn't understand why she should tackle living independently if that never need happen for her.

 

[buflesse]

I always find it kind of suspect when people who claim to be neutral bystanders only post to defend Ruby

 

[rorygilmore2020]

I take on board the comments and agree that while her going home isn't necessarily in itself a bad thing, it is within the context of her wider pattern of regressive behaviour. I guess I just feel that some of the comments lose that nuance and act as if anyone experiencing homesickness at uni is out of the norm. As someone who teaches undergrad students, I have seen first hand that for every student who thrives in the university environment, many students at all stages of their degree find comfort in going home if home is a stable, safe place. Would just hate anyone on this thread to be internalising the idea that going home is automatically a weakness! But genuinely I do think we have talked this to death now.

Also @buflesse if you're talking about me, I've posted many times on older threads criticising Ruby. I just don't think tearing everything she does to shreds is necessary.

 

[buflesse]

@rorygilmore2020 I wasn't talking about you. There are defo some people on these threads who only post to defend Ruby but pretend that they're not stans lol

 

[GoinDowntown]

If she wants to go home whenever she wants to then so what? Sometimes some of the posts on this thread deep everything so much - in the same way that we shouldn't and couldn't all live like Ruby, not everyone can or should live like you either.

Different people are different - some people love going to see their family, others aren't fussed.

But Ruby herself acknowledged that this is a big problem for her - hence the resolution she made, to the public, that she was going to go home less often.

So now that it's become too hard to stick to it, she backpedalled saying that she shouldn't be made to feel bad about going home so much and if someone wants to go home, they should. Well, of course they should! If someone wants to visit their family, no one should make them feel inferior for doing so.

But if they want to NOT visit their family as much this year, and make a public announcement that implies they are going to try and wean themselves off their family's apron strings, and then end up going home way more than they planned to anyway, of course people are going to comment on it.

Like @gossip_guy said, the six weeks being a new record for her sounds like someone who is recovering from an addiction, so this is obviously a major issue for her. It's not "I like hanging out with my family, I'm going to make an effort to see them", but "I'm tired of being an adult, I want my parents to make an effort and take care of me".

 

[WeepingCassandra]

I still can’t quite work out why she went to Exeter at all. I know it’s RG and has a good reputation for English (and the JK Rowling link …) but Ruby choosing to go there almost feels like another knee jerk reaction to not getting into Oxford, in much the same vein as her deciding to do Theology. It’s almost as if she thought ‘if I can’t read English Lit at Oxford then I won’t do English at all, and if I can’t go to Oxford then I’ll go to a uni that’s really, really far away even though I know I get terribly homesick’, and didn’t think what that would practically mean. I know the pandemic has messed everything up, and that Ruby wanted a ‘country’ uni but even a central London uni would probably have been better for her in terms of getting home easily - hell, she could even have lived at home and commuted, it’s not like she can’t afford a railcard. Ruby seems to have had really poor advice about university. Either that or she didn’t listen to what she was being told.

I kinda did that I wanted to do Psychology at Royal Holloway (about a 30 minute journey from my hometown) but didn't get anywhere near the grades and ended up in clearing so I panicked, went "duck it" and ended up in North England, about 300 miles from my home town :/ even though I knew I didn't want to move that far from home and I wanted to be able to see my family a lot - I too was a very immature early 20s girl - it did do a lot in making me more independent and confident though. You have to embrace it which I don't think Ruby does very well.

 

[irunforfun]

OT but one of my friends who lived in the south applied to Hull, thinking it was on the south coast. It was only on his train journey to uni for the start of term that he realised it was far from the south coast, and only then that he told us why he’d applied to Hull! 20 years later his geography has not improved. At all!

 

[rorygilmore2020]

Ruby, we are so proud of you.

It's been long enough since you've been home. You are so brave to make this decision. We understand that you are enjoying this time at university like never before, we can see it in your eyes, but also that you are looking forward to seeing your parents again, because the letters, the video calls and the weekend at the beach with them have not allowed you to catch up with their life. Ruby, it's admirable that you admit it, we wish we had your courage and honesty at your age.

We also hope you are enjoying this holiday week very much. Don't forget to read A Little Princess again - a book to reread a thousand times! and share with us your latest children's picture book discoveries; it's a very unexplored field and you'll be able to give us your insightful point of view, as you normally do. We're sure you'll achieve the grades you wrote down in your diary three months ago.

And don't stress if you can't record any quality videos. After all, YouTube is secondary and doesn't feed you. Focus on enjoying your parents - and your sister from Sheffield!

Never change, kind Ruby.

With love,

xxx




(Does this satisfy everyone? )

okay I'm never giving my opinion again hahahah this is very funny and i am sorry for my momentarily lapse where I forgot that this was a gossip forum and folk are brutal

 

[lemonlime]

Personally, seeing her last few Instagram stories just makes the difference from how obviously miserable she's been looking these past few weeks all the more glaring. I really do feel like she's feeling trapped by this niche she's carved out for herself online and there's no other way but to try to convince herself how much she loves her uni lifestyle and how grateful she is for it by constantly repeating how it's "SO, SO interesting and SO rewarding"... I might be completely wrong, these are just the vibes I'm getting from her recent postings

I agree with this, it feels like she keeps painting herself into a corner with this persona that she must perform constantly. It would do her a world of good to take a long break from "Ruby Granger", focus on herself and her actual life, and not this ridiculous half arsed aesthetics chaos.

 

[gossip_guy]

Coincidentally, Ruby's mother posted a poem about the joys of finally having time alone to enjoy peace and quiet and how good that is for her mental health...shortly before Ruby comes back to ruin it.

Being In The Moment

Oh, here I am Alone at last Just me, the rain Present and past I sit by the window And start to write away I’m all cosy inside On this grizzly, grey day The silence is perfect Drips are all that I hear Settling into puddles Nature’s very own tears I relish the quiet To be all by myself To be in...

www.whatapalaver.co

Oh, here I am
Alone at last
Just me, the rain
Present and past

I sit by the window
And start to write away
I’m all cosy inside
On this grizzly, grey day

The silence is perfect
Drips are all that I hear
Settling into puddles
Nature’s very own tears

I relish the quiet
To be all by myself
To be in the moment
Just so good for my health

Looking out through the pane
I can see the willow tree
Bows majestically
Saying hello it's Roobee to me

A spider is stuck
Halfway down the wall
It’s stillness stills me
Doesn’t let me fall

The glass lamp shines down
My laptop gives light
The unlit fire waits
Until day is night

The garden fuschia sways
I feel like I should too
But how blissful it is
Until I do need to

 

[lemonlime]

Coincidentally, Ruby's mother posted a poem about the joys of finally having time alone to enjoy peace and quiet and how good that is for her mental health...shortly before Ruby comes back to ruin it.

Being In The Moment

Oh, here I am Alone at last Just me, the rain Present and past I sit by the window And start to write away I’m all cosy inside On this grizzly, grey day The silence is perfect Drips are all that I hear Settling into puddles Nature’s very own tears I relish the quiet To be all by myself To be in...

www.whatapalaver.co

Oh, here I am
Alone at last
Just me, the rain
Present and past

I sit by the window
And start to write away
I’m all cosy inside
On this grizzly, grey day

The silence is perfect
Drips are all that I hear
Settling into puddles
Nature’s very own tears

I relish the quiet
To be all by myself
To be in the moment
Just so good for my health

Looking out through the pane
I can see the willow tree
Bows majestically
Saying hello it's Roobee to me

A spider is stuck
Halfway down the wall
It’s stillness stills me
Doesn’t let me fall

The glass lamp shines down
My laptop gives light
The unlit fire waits
Until day is night

The garden fuschia sways
I feel like I should too
But how blissful it is
Until I do need to

Ruby shortly after her mother has finished writing this poem:

 

[TM96]

View attachment 817125

Ruby shows the full outfit, which is an ensemble worn only when you are scheduled to go fox hunting but desperately need to pay exorbitant amounts for your student food shopping first (Waitrose pictured in background).

Long time lurker , talking about ruby's non linear filming , that Waitrose is not in Exeter but near where home is , in a small town starting with B. (Won't name the town as I don't want to explicitly state the approximate area of where her family lives) Hasn't she been in Exeter for 6 weeks? No way this was filmed in September.

 

[sitkx]

HALLO ITS RUBY! MUMMY I’M HOME!

Mummy:

 

[CatCafe234]

The garden fuschia sways
I feel like I should too
But how blissful it is
Until I do need to

WTactualF is this about? One, my brain always reads Ma Granger’s poetry in Pam Ayers’ voice which makes it even worse, and two, this verse? stanza? God knows? really is painfully bad.