Rhi Mummy of Four #6 underwhelming gifts, routine is key unless it’s for Disney

[Rightio123]

The child has to receive DLA in order to be eligible for these things and it’s very difficult to get DLA - the proof required is very extensive. I’ve looked at these kinds of concessions before for my own children who get DLA and even then, you don’t necessarily get them automatically - I wasn’t able to.

It’s not really fair to assume the children are ‘low care needs’ there is a phrase about autism appearing mild to other people, but it’s not to the person who has it. If you met one of my children, you wouldn’t think she has high care needs but I still have to help her shower and wash her hair and she’s 15 (for example).

I mean, a way to see if that is true will be how well Will copes at secondary school. Most autistic kids will be ok in a good primary, but secondary is a whole new ball game. Most of them burn out by year 9 without an EHCP. The subtle differences in social communication have more and more of an impact as the child grows older, in my experience.

I don’t know if Rhi’s children have adjusted curriculums. Do they have friends or other children to come and play, ever?

I totally get your point that the concept of someone having ‘mild’ autism is controversial and that care needs can be less obvious for some children. However Rhi gives us a huge insight into her life and by extension, her children's lives. There is absolutely no way that those kids currently require a significant amount more care than other children their age. I agree that the care needs may increase as the children get older but right now, the kids are relatively easy and compliant. The extra support they do need is probably to do with making friends and socialising, which Rhi does absolutely nothing to support.


I am shocked and disgusted that she's claiming DLA. I believe that she will be able to answer all the questionnaires and manage all the assessments in a way that she will be able to ‘prove’ there are care needs that simply don't exist. She finds her children difficult to parent and interact with because of her own issues which she is determined not to address.

 

[Dollenganger]

I don’t know what / if she is claiming but I assume so if she can get disability passes. There was a time many years ago when you could fill the forms in a certain way to make it easier to get the award, but those days are long gone and if the child does not have regular involvement with a clinician they will be turned down flat. There must be things they struggle with which we don’t see / know about. After all, she seems to want to portray a certain instagram perfection.

To me, the children do appear to be quite obviously autistic. I thought that about Zara before Rhi mentioned her being assessed. The children have a kind of passivity about them but that is one of the autistic profiles.

Why on earth does she not encourage friendships? Whilst it’s true that some autistic people burn out easily, some really crave friendships and in my case I try to face up to my limitations as a parent where my children are concerned and allow them to do things that will help and enrich their lives because I’m not sociable.

 

[focusdochas]

It’s an interesting one, my sister struggles with friends but she has a few good friends from her school days. The kids seem quite social not extroverted but a small group of friends type kids.

 

[Rightio123]

I don’t know what / if she is claiming but I assume so if she can get disability passes. There was a time many years ago when you could fill the forms in a certain way to make it easier to get the award, but those days are long gone and if the child does not have regular involvement with a clinician they will be turned down flat. There must be things they struggle with which we don’t see / know about. After all, she seems to want to portray a certain instagram perfection.

To me, the children do appear to be quite obviously autistic. I thought that about Zara before Rhi mentioned her being assessed. The children have a kind of passivity about them but that is one of the autistic profiles.

Why on earth does she not encourage friendships? Whilst it’s true that some autistic people burn out easily, some really crave friendships and in my case I try to face up to my limitations as a parent where my children are concerned and allow them to do things that will help and enrich their lives because I’m not sociable.

I agree that the children are autistic but I just don't believe their care needs significantly exceed those of an average child at the current time. If anything, the fact that she can work from home so easily when they're off school and she can seemingly take them to all kinds of sometimes very busy and noisy settings without issue would probably make them easier than some Neurotypical children. They are fussy eaters but not unusually so and seems ok with different textures of clothes hence the ridiculous tutus in school. I would accept that Rhi should be devoting more time and energy into the social side of things and that could be seen as an 'additional care need' but Rhi literally does none of that.

I know vloggers love to hide behind the excuse that we don't see everything but we definitely see enough of their family dynamic to see that Rhi spends less time parenting the children and interacting with them than the average parent so she is simply pocketing the DLA to supplement her low wage that she makes vlogging and probably to justify her staying at home.

Rhi doesn't encourage friendships because she struggles with them herself and wouldn't be able to break her routines enough to make time for them. I genuinely can't imagine her interacting with the children's friends in a normal way as she can't seem to do that with her own kids. In her head she will undoubtedly justify it by arguing that she is simply too busy with all her children, house work and vlogging to facilitate the children's social lives as well. She really seems to be unable to get her head around what a normal childhood should look like and how now the kids are older things like socialising and experiences trump routine and drudgery.

 

[Glitterberry]

You don’t need to get DLA or claim anything at all to get an access card, which is what most people use.
I have one for my child who is as yet undiagnosed. Showing it allows me to access “queue jumping” and such. It makes a massive difference, the be fair. A HUGE difference and it means we can do things that we otherwise would not be able to do. We don’t use it all the time. But we do use it often. We went to an exhibition in 2023 which was a total tit show because my child could not cope. Went back 2024 after joining access scheme and it made the WORLD of difference. Not just on queues though. On having a quiet place to sit, access to a toilet… lots of things that made the day more manageable.
You wouldn’t know by looking, though.

 

[focusdochas]

She doesn’t seem to space out the days to allow for quiet time to decompress. It makes it confusing.

 

[Dollenganger]

anything, the fact that she can work from home so easily when they're off school and she can seemingly take them to all kinds of sometimes very busy and noisy settings without issue would probably make them easier than some Neurotypical children.

I don’t think so. She said in one video that she can only work when they are at school and that when they are at home, she works through the night.

Whatever you or I think of Rhi, I take issue with anyone who doesn’t know anything about autism judging the child’s level of need and people who are angry about a child who gets DLA. Do you think you know better than a paediatrician? Because they are the ones consulted by the DWP.
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You don’t need to get DLA or claim anything at all to get an access card, which is what most people use.
I have one for my child who is as yet undiagnosed. Showing it allows me to access “queue jumping” and such. It makes a massive difference, the be fair. A HUGE difference and it means we can do things that we otherwise would not be able to do. We don’t use it all the time. But we do use it often. We went to an exhibition in 2023 which was a total tit show because my child could not cope. Went back 2024 after joining access scheme and it made the WORLD of difference. Not just on queues though. On having a quiet place to sit, access to a toilet… lots of things that made the day more manageable.
You wouldn’t know by looking, though.

I am frustrated by the attitude towards disabled people in the UK (which is entirely the fault of the government) which is that people claiming disability benefits are benefit scroungers. Especially people who don’t know anything about what it is like having a hidden disability. ‘Oh they look fine’ etc. Having a disability is about much more than dealing with meltdowns for example. I don’t really feels it’s my job to educate people on this. The information is out there if you look for it. Somehow, I think it’s easier to keep on calling people scroungers.

Even David Cameron claimed DLA for his son despite being a millionaire. Because it’s a right.

Nobody ever seems to focus on the fact that the people at the top are the ones taking all the money (which is often undeserved).

 

[Glitterberry]

I don’t think so. She said in one video that she can only work when they are at school and that when they are at home, she works through the night.

Whatever you or I think of Rhi, I take issue with anyone who doesn’t know anything about autism judging the child’s level of need and people who are angry about a child who gets DLA. Do you think you know better than a paediatrician? Because they are the ones consulted by the DWP.
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I am frustrated by the attitude towards disabled people in the UK (which is entirely the fault of the government) which is that people claiming disability benefits are benefit scroungers. Especially people who don’t know anything about what it is like having a hidden disability. ‘Oh they look fine’ etc. Having a disability is about much more than dealing with meltdowns for example. I don’t really feels it’s my job to educate people on this. The information is out there if you look for it. Somehow, I think it’s easier to keep on calling people scroungers.

Even David Cameron claimed DLA for his son despite being a millionaire. Because it’s a right.

Nobody ever seems to focus on the fact that the people at the top are the ones taking all the money (which is often undeserved).

Totally agree. Everyone who “looks fine” is tarred with the same brush.

 

[Rightio123]

I don’t think so. She said in one video that she can only work when they are at school and that when they are at home, she works through the night.

Whatever you or I think of Rhi, I take issue with anyone who doesn’t know anything about autism judging the child’s level of need and people who are angry about a child who gets DLA. Do you think you know better than a paediatrician? Because they are the ones consulted by the DWP.

Whilst I can appreciate the sentiment of your post, I think it is misplaced regarding Rhi.

Rhi documents lots of aspects of her life through the vlogs, her stories and her podcast. She often expresses a desire to try and get as much work done as possible so she can spend more time with her children during the holidays and weekends, but the reality is she works most holidays and weekends. She absolutely doesn't work through the night! I'm not guessing this, there is evidence of this in all of her videos. She also shows her morning routine which involves a lot of self care, gratitude journalling and planning and absolutely no sign of any additional caring duties. Her evening routines are also free of this too. We have seen the children being able to queue on a cruise ship for half an hour without issue, eat a range of food and cope in busy and loud environments. The wealth of evidence that Rhi posts means that making these judgements really isn't the same as looking at someone and saying 'they don't seem disabled'.

I also think you should remember that you don't know anything about people that post on this forum. You have no idea what I know about autism and disabilities. Please don't assume ableism and ignorance just because unlike Rhi, I don't share everything about my family's lives online. I stand by my comments that Rhi's children (and Rhi) have autism but that they don't currently have significantly different care needs to NT children of the same age.
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Totally agree. Everyone who “looks fine” is tarred with the same brush.

Again, this isn't just blind, uninformed ignorance about autism and other hidden disabilities. I absolutely detest this and stand with you to fight against it. The criticism of Rhi is very specific and she documents enough of her life that we get an insight into her life (and her children's) that these judgements can be made in a way that you simply couldn't make similar judgements about other people. I have listed before how we know what food the children eat, their favourite toys, what their bedrooms look like, what clothes they wear and how they celebrate their birthdays. We have almost hour long vlogs documenting days in busy theme parks and on cruise ships. I know more about these children and their routines than I do about many of my friends' children that I see on almost daily basis. Obviously I don't think we should know all this stuff about Rhi's family but the fact is that we do and that from this we can make far more accurate judgements about their actual day to day care needs than a random person we saw on the street that simply didn't look disabled.

 

[Dollenganger]

I also think you should remember that you don't know anything about people that post on this forum. You have no idea what I know about autism and disabilities. Please don't assume ableism and ignorance just because unlike Rhi, I don't share everything about my family's lives online. I stand by my comments that Rhi's children (and Rhi) have autism but that they don't currently have significantly different care needs to NT children of the same age.

Maybe you do have experience of autism and maybe you don’t but that doesn’t mean that you know better than a paediatrician or that you can know that Rhi’s children (or anyone else’s) have the same care needs as NT children. Why do you think you know better than a doctor?

Autistic people can have difficulties with interoception and cues that most take for granted. Just for starters. Hidden disabilities are hidden for a reason. You can’t look at a video and see them. And videos can be edited. The awful story of 8 passengers is an example of how things aren’t always what they seem.

I agree that when people post so much of their content online that it will invite opinions of course. I’d certainly never assume anything about a child’s care needs unless I took care of them every day.

 

[EleanorRigby]

Maybe you do have experience of autism and maybe you don’t but that doesn’t mean that you know better than a paediatrician or that you can know that Rhi’s children (or anyone else’s) have the same care needs as NT children. Why do you think you know better than a doctor?

Autistic people can have difficulties with interoception and cues that most take for granted. Just for starters. Hidden disabilities are hidden for a reason. You can’t look at a video and see them. And videos can be edited. The awful story of 8 passengers is an example of how things aren’t always what they seem.

I agree that when people post so much of their content online that it will invite opinions of course. I’d certainly never assume anything about a child’s care needs unless I took care of them every day.

How do you know the poster isn't a doctor? Sounds like a pretty big assumption on your part.

 

[Ziggzaggz]

You are also forgetting that some of us know Rhi in real life and know the children

 

[Rightio123]

Maybe you do have experience of autism and maybe you don’t but that doesn’t mean that you know better than a paediatrician or that you can know that Rhi’s children (or anyone else’s) have the same care needs as NT children. Why do you think you know better than a doctor?

Autistic people can have difficulties with interoception and cues that most take for granted. Just for starters. Hidden disabilities are hidden for a reason. You can’t look at a video and see them. And videos can be edited. The awful story of 8 passengers is an example of how things aren’t always what they seem.

I agree that when people post so much of their content online that it will invite opinions of course. I’d certainly never assume anything about a child’s care needs unless I took care of them every day.

I won't respond again for fear of hijacking the thread but I would like to emphasise that I have never claimed that the children don't have autism. The children's care needs are a completely different kettle of fish and something that a GP or paediatrician can't verify in the way you suggest. Often DLA applications will be supported by evidence by schools but we know that the school previously raised no concerns about Bella and Zara and were reluctant to even support an Autism assessment in the first place. Again, this is all documented in the videos and not something I am making up.

I don't deny that people with autism can have different cues etc, but this isn't always enough of a difficulty to warrant a massive amount of extra support at all times and can differ from person to person. It's the same with queuing, many people with autism struggle with this but there are plenty that don't. It is for this reason that the care profiles for people with autism vary so much. Rhi has consistently shown in her videos that her children can tolerate queuing in a similar way to other children their age. They might whine and moan but they have never had to leave a queue or experience just because there is a queue. We know this because her Disney vlogs are so detailed and time stamped. She therefore has proven that she is happy to use benefits and privileges that her children don't need but are eligible for due to their diagnosis. She literally doesn't care that her family using this service will make it more difficult for those disabled people that genuinely struggle to queue. This is what massively raises suspicions about other benefits and support that she can access.

She is now trying to rebrand as a Disability influencer and the backlash isn't because we don't support those with disabilities but because she is a terrible advocate for the cause. She has jumped every waiting list she possibly can for assessments and again not given a crap about those people in desperate need who will now need to wait longer to be seen. She will manipulate and tread on others to get what she wants, and I will not apologise for suspecting her of playing yet another system for her benefit. She has a clear pattern of behaviour that is clear to see in her output.

 

[Dollenganger]

How do you know the poster isn't a doctor? Sounds like a pretty big assumption on your part.

I think it’s fairly obvious that what I meant was whichever paediatrician looks after those children and assessed them. They are the ones who will know about the children’s medical records and they will have been contacted by the DWP to assess claims. It seems unlikely to me that any doctor would see fit to diagnose a child from YT videos.

I know how the system works and have been on this learning curve for 20 plus years. I have repeatedly said that you can’t fake a claim for DLA or be awarded money for needs you don’t have but you and others are talking over me.
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It’s also fairly common for MS schools not to support autism assessments, especially where the child is ‘hf’ because a child who needs to be made provision for costs more money. And said that you don’t disagree that Zara has autism? Since the diagnosis was made then surely the school were wrong?

Anyone who has a child with autism at school will know it is hard to get a dx. I hope that people will take on board what I am saying. I am not making stuff up.

I understand that you think Rhi is a grifter and maybe she is. But no medical professional will write untrue reports about a child due to parental pressure.
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Can I just ask how did Rhi manage to jump waiting lists for assessments? (Genuine question)

 

[EleanorRigby]

I think it’s fairly obvious that what I meant was whichever paediatrician looks after those children and assessed them. They are the ones who will know about the children’s medical records and they will have been contacted by the DWP to assess claims. It seems unlikely to me that any doctor would see fit to diagnose a child from YT videos.

I know how the system works and have been on this learning curve for 20 plus years. I have repeatedly said that you can’t fake a claim for DLA or be awarded money for needs you don’t have but you and others are talking over me.
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It’s also fairly common for MS schools not to support autism assessments, especially where the child is ‘hf’ because a child who needs to be made provision for costs more money. And said that you don’t disagree that Zara has autism? Since the diagnosis was made then surely the school were wrong?

Anyone who has a child with autism at school will know it is hard to get a dx. I hope that people will take on board what I am saying. I am not making stuff up.

I understand that you think Rhi is a grifter and maybe she is. But no medical professional will write untrue reports about a child due to parental pressure.
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Can I just ask how did Rhi manage to jump waiting lists for assessments? (Genuine question)

If you know how the system works over two decades then frankly I'm amazed that you've never come across anyone swinging the lead to claim DLA and other benefits. It absolutely does happen. I've witnessed it myself in a handful of cases in my lifetime, people who take great pride in pulling the wool over professional's eyes and milking the system for all it is worth, then bragging about the stunt they're pulling.

It is incredibly frustrating but sadly that is human nature, some people will always find the loopholes and take advantage of a system. Just like Rhi queue jumping both the NHS and Disney because she knows how to work both systems.

 

[focusdochas]

They have never done the dining plan and she’s doing a live in a few days to “educate” us on it ie reciting what the website says.

 

[DisneyMammi]

They have never done the dining plan and she’s doing a live in a few days to “educate” us on it ie reciting what the website says.

Lol yep this was her first holiday with a dining package lol even the DLP trips were off site so no DDP then either so in rhi s terms she is in fact an expert lol

 

[Kikifluffypolarbear]

Can I just ask how did Rhi manage to jump waiting lists for assessments? (Genuine question)

She rang the consultant's secretary daily until she was given an appointment. Honestly this is a woman who is extremely entitled and gets what she wants by pretty much any means necessary, a PIP or DLA form would be a walk in the park.

 

[hmc1203]

You certainly can fake a claim and be awarded DLA. I know several people who have done it !

The DWP doesn't always contact medical professionals they only contact them occasionally . The same with contacting schools it's not a given they will contact them

She knows how to work the system and she knows the trigger words to use to get what she wants . There is loads of information on Google that helps " guide " you through the assessment and basically tells you what to say .

The woman is a disgrace ! Sorry she is playing the system for what she can get and using the children to her own advantage .

DLA is awarded on care needs not diagnoisdiagnosis and those children do not have any different care needs than any other children . They can adapt to a change in routine ,they can feed and dress themselves,they can manage stairs ,they can read and write ,they can walk

 

[leigh225]

Just watched a video of hers from five years ago when they done a house tour of their old house. Why on earth did they move. They had five bedrooms. Why did they move to the current house which is excessively smaller. Money to free up for lots of Disney trips?