Hi, hope you're okay,
Did you get together when you were quite young? Is he maybe having thoughts about his sexuality? No offence meant x
Relationship Issues - HELP 😞
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Hi, hope you're okay,
Did you get together when you were quite young? Is he maybe having thoughts about his sexuality? No offence meant x
I’ve been reading since you posted, and my thoughts have changed as you’ve shared more.
I think firstly,it sounds like whatever he says he checked out of your relationship a long time ago.
I also think that getting involved, in any way, with someone who’s in a fragile mental state is absolutely not what you need to be doing right now, however desperate you are for sex…
I think you need to take some time out - from both of them- and work out how your relationship, even if just financial, will be with your (soon to be?) ex.
I wonder if there’s something in what MRSgs has said, perhaps there’s more to it than just he doesn’t want to have sex with you.
Whatever you choose to do, I do hope it all works out for you and your kids
I think firstly,it sounds like whatever he says he checked out of your relationship a long time ago.
I also think that getting involved, in any way, with someone who’s in a fragile mental state is absolutely not what you need to be doing right now, however desperate you are for sex…
I think you need to take some time out - from both of them- and work out how your relationship, even if just financial, will be with your (soon to be?) ex.
I wonder if there’s something in what MRSgs has said, perhaps there’s more to it than just he doesn’t want to have sex with you.
Whatever you choose to do, I do hope it all works out for you and your kids
You took the words right out of my mouth
just waiting for Jeremy beadle to pop out soon! This can’t be real.
yes I was 17.
Oh well, he’s blown up and decided to take me to family court
Thank you.
I can assure you of this - he won’t take you to court or any such thing. He’s full of tit. This is him trying to intimidate you.yes I was 17.
Oh well, he’s blown up and decided to take me to family court
ignore him. Please. Just ignore him. Don’t engage in any more conversation with him at all. Contact citizens advice tomorrow.
He’s nasty bit of rum.
Yes. Dont Reply to anything he sends you but keep all of his texts or any emails or anything he sends you from this point forward.
if you would like to have a chat about this with somone please contact women’s aid below - they offer an online chat service and I think it would be good for you to talk all of this over with them.
Live Chat | Women's Aid Live Chat
Women's Aid's live chat service lets women chat directly with a support worker
He has not filed any type of court proceedings over this weekend, especially without access to a solicitor, he’s full of crap. In any case what on Earth would he be requesting the court do? You don’t have a mortgage (or it seems any sort of shared finances) and he chooses not to see the children himself, and you said your children don’t like him anyway.
However do not in any circumstances send him any more text messages, especially regarding your need for sex, if things do get nasty, he would cling on to those messages as a way of smearing you in court.
I’m really struggling to understand this set-up, especially why he has manufactured this situation. I wonder if it’s all, or a mixture of the following:
-he’s a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist (and gets kicks from controlling you)
-financial reasons (maybe he earns much more than you think, so has manipulated you into thinking you have got it good)
-cultural reasons maybe? Are you in the UK, this all seems so backward?!
-he’s kept you thinking you’re in a relationship (when you’re not) to prevent any other good men/father figures being near your/‘his’ children.
-or he’s living a completely unacceptable hidden life, and this ‘family’ he has kept is just a front for something very unsavoury that he’d never want you to see (thinking illegal addiction/abuse type things).
-or finally he just checked out of your relationship years ago, and is totally spineless, and didn’t tell you, and perhaps he does in fact want a relationship with his children, just not with you, but he’s so spineless he’d rather not see his children just so he doesn’t have to tell you the truth.
Only you can work out what’s gone on here. You definitely need professional help to navigate this situation.
However do not in any circumstances send him any more text messages, especially regarding your need for sex, if things do get nasty, he would cling on to those messages as a way of smearing you in court.
I’m really struggling to understand this set-up, especially why he has manufactured this situation. I wonder if it’s all, or a mixture of the following:
-he’s a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist (and gets kicks from controlling you)
-financial reasons (maybe he earns much more than you think, so has manipulated you into thinking you have got it good)
-cultural reasons maybe? Are you in the UK, this all seems so backward?!
-he’s kept you thinking you’re in a relationship (when you’re not) to prevent any other good men/father figures being near your/‘his’ children.
-or he’s living a completely unacceptable hidden life, and this ‘family’ he has kept is just a front for something very unsavoury that he’d never want you to see (thinking illegal addiction/abuse type things).
-or finally he just checked out of your relationship years ago, and is totally spineless, and didn’t tell you, and perhaps he does in fact want a relationship with his children, just not with you, but he’s so spineless he’d rather not see his children just so he doesn’t have to tell you the truth.
Only you can work out what’s gone on here. You definitely need professional help to navigate this situation.
Nail on the head! Women’s abuse charities will help so much. XX
Please please listen to all this great advice. From what I’ve read he is a narcissistic piece of tit so PLEASE do not contact him. No contact is the only way you’ll get free of this.
Take you to family court. For what exactly?!
I've been reading this thread with a pinch of salt and glad I'm not the only one lolYou took the words right out of my mouth
It sounds like you've been given some really good advice OP. It's very easy to get into a situation which goes on and on for years and it's only when you really stop at look at it (with objective eyes) that you realise how strange it is.
Quite simply a partnership is two people working together with support and respect and it doesn't sound like you have any of that from him.
He doesn't seem interested in fixing that so it doesn't seem like you have much choice but to move on. Although I'm sure it's not easy, especially with children involved. But hopefully you'll find your way through this.
Quite simply a partnership is two people working together with support and respect and it doesn't sound like you have any of that from him.
He doesn't seem interested in fixing that so it doesn't seem like you have much choice but to move on. Although I'm sure it's not easy, especially with children involved. But hopefully you'll find your way through this.
He controlled what I did. Who I spoke to etc. It’s only now I’ve realised.
sorry I’m heading bed as my head is spinning
contact, contact for children he hasn’t seen in 18 months
This is what I’m so incredulous about.
ridiculous.
I think sometimes people love the idea of what someone can be, rather than the reality.
Thanks all for the lovely advice.
See what today brings.
See what today brings.
You’ve got to have no contact whatsoever with him unless HE is the one to contact you about the kids.
Do not contact him.
phone citizens advice this morning, and look at the page I shared yesterday re: child maintenance, start moving forward and getting yourself sorted and your ducks in a row.
Well, according to you, it's bringing the allegedly suicidal one to duck you senseless isn't it?
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