‘Not all men’ but it’s always a man.
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Not all men but how are we supposed to know which ones “aren’t”?
exactly this!
as someone trying to date at the moment (ick) meeting a man for the first time means meeting in a neutral location, not going to his house or letting him know where i live until a few dates in, making sure a friend knows where i am, sending her photos from his facebook or dating profile like “this is who i’m with” etc.
the last date i went on i casually mentioned this and the guy laughed and said wow i haven’t done any of that and i thought no, you probably haven’t. why would you? and he still tried to convince me to go home with him and jokingly asked me for my address so he could tell the taxi driver on my behalf. joke on mate.
i’m done with the whole not all men argument tbh. i know it’s not all men, it statistically cannot be all men, but it’s a heck of a lot of them. and i’m over people saying oh they’re not all like that! when we read of yet another woman being killed by a man who felt he deserved something from her.
Oh I completely forgot sboutbthis case,anybody remember? Oh dear not nice.
Only 12/years old when she murdered that poor lady.
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It’s a scary time to be dating, is social media to blame for the rise in incels and misogyny? I know misogyny has existed since the dawn of time but I feel like the internet offers a platform to meet like-minded people and acts like a breeding ground. I think this needs to be tackled as early as secondary school, as part of the curriculum, because impressionable young lads are digesting what they see and hear online and it’s such a crucial age during puberty when they are forming their own opinions, exploring feelings they haven’t felt before. Otherwise I genuinely feel like these sorts of men-on-women crimes will just get worse and more frequent.
I agree. I’m a single mum of two primary school aged girls. I am not desperate for love but would enjoy the company from time to time but I feel there is a barrier there already. Do I be up front and honest from the off about my daughters and hope that they aren’t the reason they may be interested in a relationship with me, or do I bring it up at a later date once I’m more comfortable and risk being considered secretive or a liar? I appreciate that the latter would end any potential relationship straight away as any decent man would understand but it is still a thought on my mind. It puts me off online dating but all I do is work (in an extremely small office) or with the kids so meeting someone sociably is unlikely tooexactly this!
as someone trying to date at the moment (ick) meeting a man for the first time means meeting in a neutral location, not going to his house or letting him know where i live until a few dates in, making sure a friend knows where i am, sending her photos from his facebook or dating profile like “this is who i’m with” etc.
the last date i went on i casually mentioned this and the guy laughed and said wow i haven’t done any of that and i thought no, you probably haven’t. why would you? and he still tried to convince me to go home with him and jokingly asked me for my address so he could tell the taxi driver on my behalf. joke on mate.
i’m done with the whole not all men argument tbh. i know it’s not all men, it statistically cannot be all men, but it’s a heck of a lot of them. and i’m over people saying oh they’re not all like that! when we read of yet another woman being killed by a man who felt he deserved something from her.
I’m just reading today’s Plymouth inquest live updates.
I found this alarming :
But then they went on to confirm this (behind spoiler as it’s lengthy):
In isolation, searching and writing those things may not have meant intent but given he actually went on to do the things he searched, shoot his mother in rage and mass kill others, does that not then show there was intent in those searches? I just don’t know how they can say no intent and not relevant with that kind of search history?
I found this alarming :
But then they went on to confirm this (behind spoiler as it’s lengthy):
However, asked by Dominc Adamson about a number of comments and videos he posted or kept in his memory. He noted one Reddit post where he rails against his mother calling her "dirty, insufferabley, a vile creature" and a video (not posted) "I f***ing ate her, I really dislike her, you have no idea".
He said Davison's watched YouTube video about Elliot Roger, a well known incell spree killer admired by incells. In April 2021 he viewed thread about the "propensity for incells to go on killing sprees"
Two months before the shooting he took to Reddit where he said his physical and and mental health had been "terrible for a good two years now". He went on to complain about enduring a "mountain" of "crap" and had feelings of "despair". Supt Bentley confirmed this was before the shotgun was returned to him.
On 16 June 2021 Davison watched a Youtube video about Elliot Roger
Three weeks before the shooting he recorded to monologues, one talking about depression and "things seeming numb" and had not been able to speak to girls when younger which led him to be "too self conscious to speak to girls" now. He also mentioned them being "used up" by "Chads", the incell term for handsome men who get relationships easily. He also spoke of being beaten down and "defeated" by life.
While he did not self-identify as an incell, he noted the reference "black pill-ers" - a term for extreme incell and claimed that "most people would be completely f***ing broken".
Around this time he made his now infamous "terminator" comparison about keeping trying to accomplish his mission.
Supt Bentley agreed that his comments showed that Davison held extreme views and was "not living in the real world".
On July 19 he visited two Reddit sites related to mass killings and on July 22 he searched information on the mass shooting at Hungerford as well as mass shootings in the US.
On July 28 he was on Reddit where he revealed that the "first person to touch my dick was a weird guy doctor", saying that he'd "never had my dick touched" before and wished it was an attractive 16 year old girl rather than a "f***ing ugly middle aged man"
In early August he viewed three YouTube videos about suicide and this was followed by an exchange on Reddit with a 16 year old girl.
Four days before the shooting he searched anti-terror policing in the UK and three days before he searched for serial killer Ted Bundy, incell serial killers, as well as how to load firearms.
Two days before he was on Reddit and got into an argument with another user who said they "kinda got pweirdo vibes" from men who wanted to go with 16 year old girls.
On the day of the shooting his Reddit account was suspended. Supt Bentley later told the court after a question from the jury that Reddit had refused to supply any explanation as to why they removed Davison's account and that police had only been able to recover 10 months of Davison's Reddit material before the shooting. She said that police had even called up the Crown Prosecution Service to work with US legal prosecutors in an effort to get Reddit to assist police, but all to no avail.
In addition, he completed four questions regarding gender identity and gender dysphoria. At 4.47 he was on a Reddit thread "why do some incells feel the need to unfortunately end their own lives"
Mr Adamson asked Supt Bentley that while he majority of the material was unremarkable there were some very violent and misogynistic material contained within showing a hostile relationship with his mother, contemptuous views about women, sympathy for the incell culture, and searches about mass killings. She confirmed this.
However, in response from Mr Stanage (Zoe and Josh Davison's representative) she explained there were 1,600,000 files on the 1.4 TB tower of which 57 were of this kind.
He said Davison's watched YouTube video about Elliot Roger, a well known incell spree killer admired by incells. In April 2021 he viewed thread about the "propensity for incells to go on killing sprees"
Two months before the shooting he took to Reddit where he said his physical and and mental health had been "terrible for a good two years now". He went on to complain about enduring a "mountain" of "crap" and had feelings of "despair". Supt Bentley confirmed this was before the shotgun was returned to him.
On 16 June 2021 Davison watched a Youtube video about Elliot Roger
Three weeks before the shooting he recorded to monologues, one talking about depression and "things seeming numb" and had not been able to speak to girls when younger which led him to be "too self conscious to speak to girls" now. He also mentioned them being "used up" by "Chads", the incell term for handsome men who get relationships easily. He also spoke of being beaten down and "defeated" by life.
While he did not self-identify as an incell, he noted the reference "black pill-ers" - a term for extreme incell and claimed that "most people would be completely f***ing broken".
Around this time he made his now infamous "terminator" comparison about keeping trying to accomplish his mission.
Supt Bentley agreed that his comments showed that Davison held extreme views and was "not living in the real world".
On July 19 he visited two Reddit sites related to mass killings and on July 22 he searched information on the mass shooting at Hungerford as well as mass shootings in the US.
On July 28 he was on Reddit where he revealed that the "first person to touch my dick was a weird guy doctor", saying that he'd "never had my dick touched" before and wished it was an attractive 16 year old girl rather than a "f***ing ugly middle aged man"
In early August he viewed three YouTube videos about suicide and this was followed by an exchange on Reddit with a 16 year old girl.
Four days before the shooting he searched anti-terror policing in the UK and three days before he searched for serial killer Ted Bundy, incell serial killers, as well as how to load firearms.
Two days before he was on Reddit and got into an argument with another user who said they "kinda got pweirdo vibes" from men who wanted to go with 16 year old girls.
On the day of the shooting his Reddit account was suspended. Supt Bentley later told the court after a question from the jury that Reddit had refused to supply any explanation as to why they removed Davison's account and that police had only been able to recover 10 months of Davison's Reddit material before the shooting. She said that police had even called up the Crown Prosecution Service to work with US legal prosecutors in an effort to get Reddit to assist police, but all to no avail.
In addition, he completed four questions regarding gender identity and gender dysphoria. At 4.47 he was on a Reddit thread "why do some incells feel the need to unfortunately end their own lives"
Mr Adamson asked Supt Bentley that while he majority of the material was unremarkable there were some very violent and misogynistic material contained within showing a hostile relationship with his mother, contemptuous views about women, sympathy for the incell culture, and searches about mass killings. She confirmed this.
However, in response from Mr Stanage (Zoe and Josh Davison's representative) she explained there were 1,600,000 files on the 1.4 TB tower of which 57 were of this kind.
In isolation, searching and writing those things may not have meant intent but given he actually went on to do the things he searched, shoot his mother in rage and mass kill others, does that not then show there was intent in those searches? I just don’t know how they can say no intent and not relevant with that kind of search history?
I think the incel movement is a growing concern. Angry, young, isolated men. A patriarchal misogynistic society that views women’s roles in society as secondary to men’s. The growth of the internet and social media to give these young men a community and platform to grow their negative feelings. I watched a programme on All4 the other day called the world of incels. I think unless some serious changes happen this is going to get much much worse.
I really agree. I remember reading somewhere that there were debates about making it an act of terrorism, which I agree that it is. And I really think places like Reddit are a breeding ground for this way of thinking. I don't know if there is a subreddit for incels but if there is it immediately should be shut down or any related subreddit where these people can align. I think if they just stopped being so consumed with the internet and joined a local club instead or something they would experience the real world a lot more and realise how effed up that way of thinking is.
Dad missing with girlfriend and baby is sex offender who spent 20 years in jail
Mark Gordon was jailed in America in 1990 for the rape of a woman in Florida, since being deported to the UK he struck up a relationship with Constance Marten but the two have recently vanished along with a newborn baby
more has come to light about these two then!
I’m in the same position! I met a guy online last year and ended up chatting to him for about 6 months, and we met in person a handful of times during that period. I knew all the passwords to his Netflix/Amazon etc, his address, his phone number, pretty much everything. He didn’t know ANYTHING about me aside from where I worked (I’m in healthcare so it was obviously the local hospital), and my Instagram handle. I always met him in a public place and the one time I invited him back into my house was when I was housesitting for some friends, so he was never aware of where I actually lived.exactly this!
as someone trying to date at the moment (ick) meeting a man for the first time means meeting in a neutral location, not going to his house or letting him know where i live until a few dates in, making sure a friend knows where i am, sending her photos from his facebook or dating profile like “this is who i’m with” etc.
the last date i went on i casually mentioned this and the guy laughed and said wow i haven’t done any of that and i thought no, you probably haven’t. why would you? and he still tried to convince me to go home with him and jokingly asked me for my address so he could tell the taxi driver on my behalf. joke on mate.
i’m done with the whole not all men argument tbh. i know it’s not all men, it statistically cannot be all men, but it’s a heck of a lot of them. and i’m over people saying oh they’re not all like that! when we read of yet another woman being killed by a man who felt he deserved something from her.
I decided that as lovely as he was, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I put an end to it and he threatened to kill himself. Big bleeping red flag. Manipulative as hell. I thought I was being stupidly paranoid by depriving him of all that information about me, but afterwards I was so glad because I know there’s no way he can find me unless he turns up at work looking for me (but I work in womens health so he’d struggle to get in).
You just can’t be too careful and it’s absolute shite that we have to be in this mindset as women. I really bloody wish I’d been born gay, i bloody detest (not all) men
Jesus wept, a lot of misandry on here
Yes men commit crimes against women but it's a small minority and men are more likely to be actual victims of violent crime. It's just that when a woman is killed, it is far more likely to receive media attention, particularly if the victim is photogenic. Get a sense of perspective, will ya!
Yes men commit crimes against women but it's a small minority and men are more likely to be actual victims of violent crime. It's just that when a woman is killed, it is far more likely to receive media attention, particularly if the victim is photogenic. Get a sense of perspective, will ya!92% of women killed in 2020-21 were murdered by a man. There was also a 13% increase in sexual assaults, and those are just the ones that were reported. I know plenty of people who didn’t bother to report their assaults because they didn’t think the police would believe them/take them seriously.Jesus wept, a lot of misandry on here
60% of murdered women knew their killer (usually a partner/ex) compared to 44% of murdered men.
There has been a HUGE increase in gang related murders in recent years and they are mostly males.
So yes, men are more likely to be killed. But it’s very rare for a man to be murdered (and potentially raped) by a stranger while just walking home.
It’s very easy to throw out the “not all men” view and say that we’re all being paranoid, but whilst women are being murdered and raped by the police force that is supposed to be protecting society, then I think it’s fair play to be a little bit paranoid.
Maybe you should get a sense of perspective.
Not a very good point- men are more likely to be victims but what gender is most likely to be the perpetrator of these violent crimes? MenJesus wept, a lot of misandry on here
And when women are killed, they are often killed BECAUSE they are women. A man is far far more unlikely to be killed for simply being a man. Femicide is a very real and scary thing, especially with the rise of incel crime
Talking about the Plymouth shootings in the last thread, someone mentioned one of the victims dogs (he was walking two at the time) ran home and was shaking when the victim’s wife opened the front door. I was wondering what happened to the other dog and the dog belonging to a father and his daughter who were also murdered. I read this about a neighbour who witnessed the shooting and thought I’d share -
Her son came to her with two dogs - a brown and white bulldog (the Martyn's) and a husky (Stephen Washington's). The bulldog he had seen running loose and being a dog lover had grabbed it. The husky he had found as he walked along Snakey Path - he'd seen the dog next to a man laying on the grass and realising the man was dead he took the dog to safeguard it.
Because they had cats in the house they tied the dogs up outside, but gave them food and water as she said they felt awful about them.
Her son came to her with two dogs - a brown and white bulldog (the Martyn's) and a husky (Stephen Washington's). The bulldog he had seen running loose and being a dog lover had grabbed it. The husky he had found as he walked along Snakey Path - he'd seen the dog next to a man laying on the grass and realising the man was dead he took the dog to safeguard it.
Because they had cats in the house they tied the dogs up outside, but gave them food and water as she said they felt awful about them.
This post is not surprising given you have been ‘laughing’ at many of the posts on here.Jesus wept, a lot of misandry on here
It’s also not just about being killed - rape, domestic violence, sexual assaults, sexual harassment.
1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually abused as an adult - how have a small minority of men managed to get round us all. Or perhaps there are not as many good men as you think.
Just to add that many women who are killed by a man have also had to endure domestic violence and / or rape prior to being killed.
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‘Beyond painful’: Estranged father of runaway aristocrat pleads with daughter to turn herself in — The Independent
Exclusive: ‘I wish her to know she is loved whatever the circumstances,’ says Napier Marten
Sorry if this has been shared. Constance Marten’s dad has pleaded with her to come home. Apparently her partner is a SO
Being gay has lots of downsides also, I wouldn't say it's any easier! But yes I don't fear being raped and murdered when going on a date, I don't envy straight girls at allI’m in the same position! I met a guy online last year and ended up chatting to him for about 6 months, and we met in person a handful of times during that period. I knew all the passwords to his Netflix/Amazon etc, his address, his phone number, pretty much everything. He didn’t know ANYTHING about me aside from where I worked (I’m in healthcare so it was obviously the local hospital), and my Instagram handle. I always met him in a public place and the one time I invited him back into my house was when I was housesitting for some friends, so he was never aware of where I actually lived.
I decided that as lovely as he was, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I put an end to it and he threatened to kill himself. Big bleeping red flag. Manipulative as hell. I thought I was being stupidly paranoid by depriving him of all that information about me, but afterwards I was so glad because I know there’s no way he can find me unless he turns up at work looking for me (but I work in womens health so he’d struggle to get in).
You just can’t be too careful and it’s absolute shite that we have to be in this mindset as women. I really bloody wish I’d been born gay, i bloody detest (not all) men
Wow, I never realised the extent you have to go to keep safe. I’m from a different generation where I had my share of one night stands (don’t judge me), walked home in the middle of the night etc and took risks that I assume wouldn’t be possible today. This makes me sad. I’m the mother of sons and Aunty of nephews so my perspective is probably skewed because they are all wonderful young men who have been brought up to love and respect women - hence my “not all men” comment which I feel was misunderstood and even mocked by some posters. I’m waffling now so I’ll stop there!I’m in the same position! I met a guy online last year and ended up chatting to him for about 6 months, and we met in person a handful of times during that period. I knew all the passwords to his Netflix/Amazon etc, his address, his phone number, pretty much everything. He didn’t know ANYTHING about me aside from where I worked (I’m in healthcare so it was obviously the local hospital), and my Instagram handle. I always met him in a public place and the one time I invited him back into my house was when I was housesitting for some friends, so he was never aware of where I actually lived.
I decided that as lovely as he was, I just wasn’t feeling it, so I put an end to it and he threatened to kill himself. Big bleeping red flag. Manipulative as hell. I thought I was being stupidly paranoid by depriving him of all that information about me, but afterwards I was so glad because I know there’s no way he can find me unless he turns up at work looking for me (but I work in womens health so he’d struggle to get in).
You just can’t be too careful and it’s absolute shite that we have to be in this mindset as women. I really bloody wish I’d been born gay, i bloody detest (not all) men
There’s a separate thread about Constance Marten https://tattle.life/threads/constance-marten-case-missing-mum.36598/
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