Don’t feel one bit sorry for her. Have two friends that were widowed young with small kids. They put their kids first!!
but and I say this with experience, judge a person by their siblings. My siblings are in the nicest possible way, fucking awful. I was as a kid judged for being related, which hurt. I could not be more different. I am a hard working person with a wonderful family but my siblings are awful. I moved away and built my own happy life away from them. Unfortunately parents passing away has made me cross their paths for the moment much more than I’d like to. I’m dealing with it until I have to not deal with it. I am not the same as them and never will be but there will always be those few people who judge me because of them.