Questions for those who have been through menopause

[Notworthy]

MP is defined as 12 months since your last period. Reality is peri menopause can start early -mid 40’s. As much as 10 y b4. I wish I knew then what I know now! Low mood .. mood swings .. brain fog .. unexplained anger over trivial things .. weight gain ..very difficult to lose even if ur doing all the “right” things. Basically it’s awful. Never got prof hdlp/hrt. Wish now I had .

I agree, it's wrecked my life, my symptoms would have easily been manageable if I'd know what was causing them instead of thinking it was my business and my family making me feel crap. I have a coil so no idea if I'm done and I've never had a hot flush. My symptoms were mental more than physical. main physcial symptoms were insomnia, weight gain and joint pain. Having diarised my symptoms and tracked back, I'd say the symptoms started affecting me at 46 and from online forums, that appears to be pretty normal. It's frustrating when I try to have a conversation with women about menopause and they tell me they are too young for it to be that when they have just finished telling me they can't lose weight and they aren't sleeping well, but when practically every article mentions the magic 51 years old, I suppose it isn't surprising. GPs are useless, when I had my mirena changed I asked the GP how I would know when I hit enopause and she said "Oh you probably won't even notice" no offer of a leaflet or symptoms to look out for, of course I went skipping out of there thinking I'd dodged a bullet. Called the Britih Menopause Society and asked if there were posters or leaflets I could distribute and apperantly they don't have the budget for it.
My biggest bugbear is that it is considered a Female issue, it's not , it's a societal issue. I have 2 Male friends whose wives divorced them during Peri. My one piece of advice to any Woman in their 40's suddenly wanting to change what was a good life is to think long and hard about what is driving that desire.

Hi ladies,

thought I’d update you on my HRT journey. I started it about two months ago and I can honestly say I feel SOOOOOO much better. Like night and day. Still get the odd hot flush (I could always live with those) but the crying jags and the wanting to divorce my whole family feelings are diminishing. Not totally gone but much, much better. Now I’m trying to focus on my weight and fitness as my blood pressure has crept up a bit (always something, isn‘t there?).

so if you’re on the fence about HRT (and I know it may not work for everyone) I can highly recommend it.

xx

I totally get that, it's horrible, I'm single but my poor Son really got put through it, I didn't talk to him for months in a vain attempt to get him to fuck off out of my life. I wish more was said about these symptoms rather than keeping it at hot flushes (which I haven't had)

 

[Gold_7]

So glad to find this thread.

This week my face has randomly flushed pink and hot. I do not have sensitive skin at all so was really weirded out.

My periods are erratic now, take ages to properly start and finish. Insomnia as well. I’m 44, maybe peri?

 

[yeoooo]

Not sure if the NICE guidelines were updated a couple of weeks ago. There were some changes but those changes were
I don't think we should be saying IF we can have it, just that we want to go on hrt to improve our quality of life

all medications and treatment should be considered for each patient after an evaluation. The “if” element comes into play for each patient when the medical practitioner weighs up their medical background and other medications that they are taking in line with what they need, side effects etc. just because there is a medication out there it doesnt mean should automatically receive it - its patient focused.

 

[House of Tea]

I had minimal flushes. I started taking sage, stopped them dead.

 

[Rothsey]

Not a question, a statement of fact.

Bastard chin hairs. I have been walking around with two very long ones for God knows how long just under my chin. Just didn’t see them until just now. Mortifying. An inch and a half long each.

🧔‍♀️

Never check in your car mirror!! it’s the worst ever

They are the devil's work.

I remember first having one or two in my late 30s. And I'd pluck one then and see it again in a month. Now at 50 the fuckers are rampant. If I leave it more than a few days there are loads.

Has anyone gone through menopause without hot flushes? I remember my mum suffering these all the time for years. I'm pretty sure I am menopausal but not one hot flush, and not many other symptoms....not sure if I've just been extremely lucky or if it's common to escape lightly.

I think god is getting his own back on me, all my life, very light periods. No cramps or anything other than the day before my period a dull headache… oh what a smug bitch I was… going peri and full on meno, you name it I’ve suffered it… I spoke to my mum about it… her response… yoga! It worked for me! x

 

[Notworthy]

Over the years i have tried hrt tablets patches sprays but never implant. Im far to wary as not had much success with any hrt side effects. Washed their hands of me now as dont know what to do with me. Once a year i now see the chief pharmacist for the menopause clinic at my local hospital. Totally useless.so much so that ijust got up & walked out at my last apt 18months ago
I do hope you get the help you need. Keep us all posted

Maybe we should all start putting pressure on our MPs. GP's get 30 minutes on the menopause during their training. It's utterly abysmal that menopause is not researched adequately given that 50% of the population will go through it at some point and a big percentage of those will have problems. t's cost me my business and a lot of my extended family as I've struggled mentally through it.

 

[Woolmercardington]

Hi iv got a question I was wondering if this is related to peri menopause,
The past few months iv woken up between 2:40-4:30 am, my body aches all over, bones, muscles and feels really heavy when I try to turn over. When I wake up at my normal time I seem to be ok, has anyone had anything similar??

I get the opposite. If I wake up through the night for the loo, I usually feel fine. But by the time I get up properly I feel like I've ran a marathon in my sleep and generally feel like utter poo

 

[House of Tea]

Interesting as I was told by a senior BC specialist as I had breast cysts to avoid HRT if possible (low dose vaginal estrogen doesn’t come with same risks) thankfully I’ve found other things that have made a difference.
Also it’s not discussed enough whilst on HRT if you drink you should limit alcohol as it increases your risk further of BC, as it ups estradiol levels. One of my friends who enjoys a drink mostly at weekends wasn’t aware of this, they kept upping her HRT as it wasn’t working for her and the following year she was diagnosed with BC, thankfully caught early and doing well after chemo.
Also HRT depletes certain nutrients as does OC so it’s important to make sure you replace those nutrients.


I‘ve no smugness from not taking HRT but some of us need to be more cautious. I’ve had plenty of symptoms and it would have been easier to go on HRT but personally I’m glad I didn’t, as I would never have known I could improve things without it.
My mother was on HRT patches for around 15 years + and when she came off she went through all the symptoms of the menopause again.

I would say read as much reputable and scientific evidence as you can on the menopause and HRT before you make your decision because at the end of the day it’s your life/body that‘s going through it.


Lots of women on HRT still have to take vaginal oestrogen to improve those issues. You don’t have to take HRT to improve those problems and a low vaginal oestrogen cream/gel etc comes with less risk but it all comes down to the individual, their concerns and risks.

Hi, what non HRT things have you found worked?

 

[Suzesnooze]

Absolutely agree!

I won’t be changing my mind nor defending myself. I only hope anyone else considering HRT doesn’t feel intimidated to speak up now. We need more safe places to discuss ALL options! I hope everyone here finds the solution that helps them the best (HRT or holistic) but yeah, I can’t wait for my appointment tomorrow and to get my life back on track

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, does anyone have deodorant recommendations? Because I stink and nothing seems to help right now Mens deodorant?

To be fair the thread is called ‘questions for those who have been through the menopause’ not questions about HRT!

Try Mitchum deodorant.

 

[Reflected view]

10 years
I’m 46.

Hey hope your well, there’s a lovely poster who goes by @Notworthy she has advised to keep a diary of everything that your feeling and going through as it creates a pattern. Iv been doing this for a few months now and i have come to realise that some of my symptoms go back to when I was in my late 30s and have gradually gotten worse through time, if you do this you may come to realise that you have had some symptoms before now but probably put them down to other things

 

[Snowjoke]

Research is now showing that going on HRT before your estrogen receptors shut down can significantly reduce your risk of dementia and Parkinsons aswell as other conditions predominately suffered by women so not sure they have anything to be smug about. I think the benefits of taking HRT outweigh the risks considerably

I agree, the benefits of HRT aren’t really discussed. It’s also proven to prevent/lessen a lot of bladder issues such as urgency and UTIs but they never say about that either

 

[Libbylulu]

Does anyone have very sore joins, muscles. My ankles, legs are always so painful. I already take vitamin D, cal/ magnesium and turmeric. Do you have any magic potion?

 

[Notworthy]

Nobody really speaks about menopause, which is why many women do not know what to expect. I have 4 sisters and I asked them, but got varying answers and mostly, “well it didn’t affect me much” which is no help whatsoever. So it was a baptism of fire for me.

Didn‘t have a clue about peri-menopause either and at one point I thought I may have been pregnant because of missed periods. I kept a peri-menopause/period diary because my periods were becoming more and more infrequent and really heavy too.

I think I may be heading out of menopause now...although I will never be complacent about it because it can catch you unawares.

Things are changing now. I constantly mention it to literally everyone, Male or Female. People think it's a female issue but I have a number of Male friends and 2 of them have gotten divorced over it, both divorces instigated by their wives. I think the change is actually a really good word as there seems to be a need to change your life during it. I had a great life, business doing well, loved working there and then all of a sudden I hated it and was desperate for a change. I wanted to move to Antigua. If your life is shit then the menopause can be a blessing but if, like me, your life was great and you were happy, it can be catastrophic. I would advise any woman to really stop and think before making any major, life changing decisions during the period of 45ish to 55ish. If you were happy upto that point then it's probably the fluctuating hormones driving the desire.

 

[Jwren]

Yes mine is exactly the same. It reminds me of when I was uncomfortable in pregnancy and I look pregnant! I will normally bloat like that for a few weeks before I get my period and then I’ll lose the 3-4lb I put on but I’m getting fed up of it now as it’s lasting longer. I believe it’s to do with fluctuating estrogen?



I walk a lot and I watch what I eat (I put a lot of weight on in peri so managed to lose 1.5 stone). I have been a bit stressed lately so maybe that’s making it worse? I also drink a lot of water and I don’t drink alcohol or fizzy drinks.

Thanks, I’ll try the magnesium.

I did worry a bit about ovarian cancer as I know bloating is a symptom but I track my peri symptoms so it does seem to always coincide with missing a period (I’ve been skipping a period since March).

I agree I don’t think it is OC. The reason I said about seeing a GP is I’d hate for anyone who has had bloated tummy for months to not get it checked out as many things can cause bloating, even cysts but yours sounds hormonal and I use to have it weeks at a time but I did find it became worse with stress. Magnesium is also good for stress, regulating hormones, heart health, reducing high blood pressure, bone health, regulating vitamin D and interestingly women who have endometriosis are more likely to be deficient in Magnesium which was a concern for my daughter, there’s lots of information about the importance of it online.
I lost my brother when I was 12 and suffered depression on and off since and was often prescribed AD which I didn’t like but it got far worse as I entered the menopause and it was then I found out about the importance of Magnesium which can be depleted by stress. Anyway to cut a long story slightly shorter after I’d been on it a while (I didn’t go over the RDA) my depression/anxiety/mood began to lift and I haven’t had any AD for a few years now. I appreciate it won’t work for everyone but it made a huge difference to my life. I take magnesium glycinate as it’s more easily absorbed and less likely to cause tummy upset, it can sometimes make you feel sleepy so if you do get some perhaps take in the evenings and start with a low dose, they also do salts to soak in and a magnesium gel to rub into the skin if people don’t wish to take it in tablet form.

 

[ginger tea]

How are you ladies coping with any increase in weight. Despite everything including calorie counting. 3x exercise classes a week+ lots of walking, I can’t shift anything. It’s really getting me down.

Not coping at all, nothing works. Iv become a recluse as iv gained so much weight, I’m dreading the lighter warmer days and nights as I won’t be able to hide in my house and only go out to walk the dog when it’s dark

 

[RoseRazor]

Oh great! I’ve had the bloating now for about 5 months. I do get hot but I don’t think I’ve had a full blown hot flush yet so if that’s what’s next I’m not looking forward to it

Yup. It was like my body went from storing too much fluid to then trying to purge it through hot flushes and sweating. I was so thirsty too when bloated but not dehydrated or diabetic (4 repeat blood tests ruled that out). Then it all vanished. Nearly lost a full stone since then. Can’t all be water I’m sure but it felt like it have to say, I found the hot flushes better then the bloating as they only affect me occasionally, not all the time. And finally having them confirmed all my suspicions and I finally accepted what was happening to me so they were weirdly reassuring in a really awful way

Massively so! I'll post a picture, and it's embarrassing!
I'm not missing periods yet, my cycle has gone down to 24/25 days.
I bloat halfway through and it hurts so much, then it will go down a touch and then go back to this while I'm on my period.
It used to go down once I came on, but now it stays most of the month, but my.periids have changed to barely being worth having one so I assume that's why it stays.
Sometimes it's so hard and painful

what was your initial cycle length if you don’t mind sharing?

mines gone from clockwork 32 to anything from 20-37. The thing I noticed the most was how the flow has changed. It’s gone from being heavy my entire life (I have endometriosis) to almost scant! I actually did pregnancy tests as I thought it was breakthrough bleeding because it was so light, but then I’d have a massive bleed the next time to almost make up for it?

 

[HitnMiss]

I’m seeing a nutritionist who focus on menopausal women. There’s a bunch of things involved but the main thing she recommends for hot flushes are red and purple food: berries, tomatoes, eggplant, radicchio, anything in those colours. At least 3 portions of those a day. I’m on early days still, haven’t have enough yet to start seeing results- it takes a month for that. It’s just food, no harm trying. I’m hopeful, those hot flushes are killing me, I’ll try anything.

Sage tea is great for hot flushes.

I've now started on body identical hormones, anyone else?

 

[Rowan]

Does anyone know why testosterone isn't prescribed on NHS? It seems like a lot of symptoms could benefit from this too.

It's not licensed yet...as the NHS are slow to get that 52% of the population will go through menopause!

 

[Suzesnooze]

Worst nights sleep, skin was burning and itchy on my chest, neck and face. Think its menstral/menopause related. Only another 3 weeks (out of 7 week wait) to speak to my GP! This is a follow up phone call to as I said I'd go away and think/research stuff!

I get itchy skin. It's not helped by the fact skin goes dry during peri. I take an anti histamine which helps.

 

[Notworthy]

Same here. It was that which spurred me into speaking to my employers and my GP because I worried myself.
I've been on HRT now for just over a month, and while I still don't feel completely myself I certainly feel a lot less low than I did!
My night sweats, dizziness, palpitations have also practically gone away and I'm finally sleeping without my mind racing and ridiculously vivid dreams disturbing me.
It could be that just the sleep has helped my MH, but considering the GPs first answer was anti depressants I'm so pleased I chose HRT first.
I haven't dismissed AD's and will use them if I feel I need them, but for me I knew they shouldn't be my first option and not to let the GP bluff me off

Tell your GP to read the bloody NICE guidelines (which they should have done anyway, given 50% of their patients will go through the menopause)