New thread title courtesy of @Babyboos5 
edited to fit, full version was "Fiction author or porky pie teller donโt worry it all came from shagging someone elseโs fella"
Last thread recap:
- Raq continues to be a massive bleep.
- Rachey's "squad" were waiting for her when she got home from picking the kids up from school. Whether they are actual friends or paid employees nobody knows...
- Wobbly got upset when the squad were leaving (probably because the other adults give him some attention and interaction). He then hit Tallulah in the face when she went to comfort him, nobody reprimanded him. That'll be nice when he starts school.
- Edie apparently doesn't want a booster seat any more. So Josh went to get a tape measure, while his loving wife filmed him and then uploaded it to Insta taking the piss out of him. Seeing as drink driving is normal in their family, and half the adults don't seem to believe in seatbelts, it's no surprise that old Rancho doesn't think car safety is important.
- Time for the regular, rambling bullshit stories. This time featuring Isaac running into the road and nearly being hit by a car, which is apparently hilarious, Betsy being stung "about 200 times by about 4 million wasps" (again, apparently hilarious).
- Apparently the book was sold out on Amazon
It wasn't actually sold out, it was just not available on Prime.
- Ratchet and Emily have been painting the women's centre, with help from ex-lover Hannah. Quick mention of "it's saved us loads of money doing it ourselves" which is probably code for "nobody offered to do it for free, the bastards"
- Betsy apparently told Rancid and Joyce to "go out and enjoy yourselves", because obviously they NEVER spend any time to themselves. Someone (Emily?) took the girls and Wilberforce to McDonald's, so instead of sitting on the sofa eating junk food and staring at a screen, lucky Wilbert got to sit in a car seat, eating junk food and staring at a screen (that was propped up in the car). What a treat for him! No mention of where Seb and Isaac were.
- Raq uploaded a photo of Edie with PA Jo's daughter with a caption claiming that she and Jo been best friends for 36 years, since they were 5. Seeing as Rach is only 39, either they weren't 5, or they haven't been mates for 36 years.
- Pre-recorded footage of a trip to the beach, which involved Wibbly having his second lot of chicken nuggets this week, and Raq losing her tit at Betsy for taking her new lip liner out and losing it. Maybe if you didn't encourage Betsy to take what she wants from Lula all the time, she wouldn't think your lip liner was fair game
- Rancid did an IGTV interview for Page Turners. It included saying her book is happy (no mention of the theme of mental health difficulties including a suicide attempt, or domestic abuse). Obviously she had to shoehorn in a mention of toxic families. She said she'd picked parts of things that have happened to her, or to friends or family (but it's definitely fiction). Her kids are always at home and their friends come round (except when she's palming them off to anyone that will have them). Apparently Rach loves reading, but when asked what she's currently reading she went off talking about one she's bought but hasn't read yet. More sucking up to real author Lisa Jewell, apparently she had so many messages telling her that the book she's bought was good so she screenshot a load and sent them to her. Newsflash Raq - in the real world, people don't give a tit about likes and messages on Instagram. She reckons she charges her phone downstairs overnight so she can't look at it first thing in the morning
sure babe, and I'm Beyonce!
- for the first time we got to see some CCTV footage that was actually funny and not staged! Josh forgot the handbrake on the car and it almost rolled into the house. Unfortunately the date stamp revealed it to be from November 2020, looks like someone is getting desperate for engagement
- A trip to the beach with Edie and Wibble. Neither child had a sun hat on, and it didn't look like they had sun cream either. Josh played his ridiculous "we're on a first date and don't know each other" role play in the car, to make it weirder it was in front of Edie. Poor kid.
- Edie is the current money maker, starring in yet another advert. This time for a reading app, which apparently isn't available for the Amazon Kindle tablet that, according to another advert, Edie "uses all the time" (even though it only comes out for the adverts, and the rest of the time is relegated to the back of a cupboard while E is on her ipad)
- R and J are having yet another night away for Josh's birthday Will it be another gifted break at the Hesperus Shed?
- Mrs Brown came over, was talked down to by Josh. He made a good point (that Gangsta Granny did everything for him when he was a child, and when he moved out and joined the army he didn't know how to do anything for himself), but said it to her in a vile tone of voice. Mrs Brown tried to tell Seb that Rancid is his mother
- Rach is again a Sunday Times Bestselling Author. Despite the fact it means duck all because it's actually really easy to do, she will wear it as a badge of honour for many years. Insufferable bleep.
- Arsetrid and her husband were coming for a barbecue, and the next door neighbour had a bouncy castle. So Ratch inexplicably filmed other people's children playing in private property and uploaded it to her Instagram. You'd think the wife of a police officer, and an ambassador for charities such a Kidscape, would realise that this is a massive safeguarding breach but here we are
- Apparently the bright lounge (including the bespoke neon light and bright pink sofa) is all going. Despite the fact she had a long ramble the other day about candle holders that she specifically bought to go in the lounge.
- The second lounge is going to be a dining room. Just like it was not very long ago before they redecorated and got a gifted sofa in there.
- Arsetrid turned up with a bottle of prosecco for best selling author Rachey. What a shame she doesn't actually like it...
- Raq is on the beg for a ring like Astrid's, tagging the company several times
- Arsetrid uploaded a photo which included Raq's gammon flaps, putting Tattlers everywhere off their lunch.
- Instead of being appalled that Rancid filmed kids on private property, the neighbour apparently felt guilty about having a bouncy castle and sent round a little one for them.
- despite the book being "ficiton", huns are recognising Mrs Brown as the real life Pat. BUT IT'S FICITON!
- Instead of being out playing on the free inflatable, Wilbert was in the lounge, watching telly.
- While Rancid was modelling new bikinis in front of the enormous mirror, under the pretence of "needing help to choose" (aka "tell me I look great"), poor Wilby sat on the sifa watching telly with a cup of tea. Then went to play with a fan in the hallway. Unsupervised. Ideal.
- Josh's birthday trip away is to a spa (hence the new bikinis). The room looks half finished, and has a load of tits on the wall. Totally lush babes.
- She's remembered that Isaac exists and wheeled him out for an advert for Disney. The child who's about to start secondary school is DEFINITELY interested in playing with Cars toys Raq, well done.
- Rachey's got some new Gucci shoes. ยฃ500 and they look like bits of bin bag tied up with old rope. Perfect for wearing down to the women's centre to patronise all the vulnerable women.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
edited to fit, full version was "Fiction author or porky pie teller donโt worry it all came from shagging someone elseโs fella"Last thread recap:
- Raq continues to be a massive bleep.
- Rachey's "squad" were waiting for her when she got home from picking the kids up from school. Whether they are actual friends or paid employees nobody knows...
- Wobbly got upset when the squad were leaving (probably because the other adults give him some attention and interaction). He then hit Tallulah in the face when she went to comfort him, nobody reprimanded him. That'll be nice when he starts school.
- Edie apparently doesn't want a booster seat any more. So Josh went to get a tape measure, while his loving wife filmed him and then uploaded it to Insta taking the piss out of him. Seeing as drink driving is normal in their family, and half the adults don't seem to believe in seatbelts, it's no surprise that old Rancho doesn't think car safety is important.
- Time for the regular, rambling bullshit stories. This time featuring Isaac running into the road and nearly being hit by a car, which is apparently hilarious, Betsy being stung "about 200 times by about 4 million wasps" (again, apparently hilarious).
- Apparently the book was sold out on Amazon
It wasn't actually sold out, it was just not available on Prime.- Ratchet and Emily have been painting the women's centre, with help from ex-lover Hannah. Quick mention of "it's saved us loads of money doing it ourselves" which is probably code for "nobody offered to do it for free, the bastards"
- Betsy apparently told Rancid and Joyce to "go out and enjoy yourselves", because obviously they NEVER spend any time to themselves. Someone (Emily?) took the girls and Wilberforce to McDonald's, so instead of sitting on the sofa eating junk food and staring at a screen, lucky Wilbert got to sit in a car seat, eating junk food and staring at a screen (that was propped up in the car). What a treat for him! No mention of where Seb and Isaac were.
- Raq uploaded a photo of Edie with PA Jo's daughter with a caption claiming that she and Jo been best friends for 36 years, since they were 5. Seeing as Rach is only 39, either they weren't 5, or they haven't been mates for 36 years.
- Pre-recorded footage of a trip to the beach, which involved Wibbly having his second lot of chicken nuggets this week, and Raq losing her tit at Betsy for taking her new lip liner out and losing it. Maybe if you didn't encourage Betsy to take what she wants from Lula all the time, she wouldn't think your lip liner was fair game
- Rancid did an IGTV interview for Page Turners. It included saying her book is happy (no mention of the theme of mental health difficulties including a suicide attempt, or domestic abuse). Obviously she had to shoehorn in a mention of toxic families. She said she'd picked parts of things that have happened to her, or to friends or family (but it's definitely fiction). Her kids are always at home and their friends come round (except when she's palming them off to anyone that will have them). Apparently Rach loves reading, but when asked what she's currently reading she went off talking about one she's bought but hasn't read yet. More sucking up to real author Lisa Jewell, apparently she had so many messages telling her that the book she's bought was good so she screenshot a load and sent them to her. Newsflash Raq - in the real world, people don't give a tit about likes and messages on Instagram. She reckons she charges her phone downstairs overnight so she can't look at it first thing in the morning
sure babe, and I'm Beyonce!- for the first time we got to see some CCTV footage that was actually funny and not staged! Josh forgot the handbrake on the car and it almost rolled into the house. Unfortunately the date stamp revealed it to be from November 2020, looks like someone is getting desperate for engagement
- A trip to the beach with Edie and Wibble. Neither child had a sun hat on, and it didn't look like they had sun cream either. Josh played his ridiculous "we're on a first date and don't know each other" role play in the car, to make it weirder it was in front of Edie. Poor kid.
- Edie is the current money maker, starring in yet another advert. This time for a reading app, which apparently isn't available for the Amazon Kindle tablet that, according to another advert, Edie "uses all the time" (even though it only comes out for the adverts, and the rest of the time is relegated to the back of a cupboard while E is on her ipad)
- R and J are having yet another night away for Josh's birthday
Will it be another gifted break at the Hesperus Shed?- Mrs Brown came over, was talked down to by Josh. He made a good point (that Gangsta Granny did everything for him when he was a child, and when he moved out and joined the army he didn't know how to do anything for himself), but said it to her in a vile tone of voice. Mrs Brown tried to tell Seb that Rancid is his mother
- Rach is again a Sunday Times Bestselling Author. Despite the fact it means duck all because it's actually really easy to do, she will wear it as a badge of honour for many years. Insufferable bleep.
- Arsetrid and her husband were coming for a barbecue, and the next door neighbour had a bouncy castle. So Ratch inexplicably filmed other people's children playing in private property and uploaded it to her Instagram. You'd think the wife of a police officer, and an ambassador for charities such a Kidscape, would realise that this is a massive safeguarding breach but here we are
- Apparently the bright lounge (including the bespoke neon light and bright pink sofa) is all going. Despite the fact she had a long ramble the other day about candle holders that she specifically bought to go in the lounge.
- The second lounge is going to be a dining room. Just like it was not very long ago before they redecorated and got a gifted sofa in there.
- Arsetrid turned up with a bottle of prosecco for best selling author Rachey. What a shame she doesn't actually like it...
- Raq is on the beg for a ring like Astrid's, tagging the company several times
- Arsetrid uploaded a photo which included Raq's gammon flaps, putting Tattlers everywhere off their lunch.
- Instead of being appalled that Rancid filmed kids on private property, the neighbour apparently felt guilty about having a bouncy castle and sent round a little one for them.
- despite the book being "ficiton", huns are recognising Mrs Brown as the real life Pat. BUT IT'S FICITON!
- Instead of being out playing on the free inflatable, Wilbert was in the lounge, watching telly.
- While Rancid was modelling new bikinis in front of the enormous mirror, under the pretence of "needing help to choose" (aka "tell me I look great"), poor Wilby sat on the sifa watching telly with a cup of tea. Then went to play with a fan in the hallway. Unsupervised. Ideal.
- Josh's birthday trip away is to a spa (hence the new bikinis). The room looks half finished, and has a load of tits on the wall. Totally lush babes.
- She's remembered that Isaac exists and wheeled him out for an advert for Disney. The child who's about to start secondary school is DEFINITELY interested in playing with Cars toys Raq, well done.
- Rachey's got some new Gucci shoes. ยฃ500 and they look like bits of bin bag tied up with old rope. Perfect for wearing down to the women's centre to patronise all the vulnerable women.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
.
.