That's
It's such a shame that Rachel Hambleton is still thieving, conning & lying to so many people.
And Doxxing too.
I really do hope she goes to prison one day, gets a huge fine & has to pay back all the money she has stolen
That was another brilliant recap & thread title,The thread title wasn't intended as a title, it was a comment by @LyraBalaqua and nominated as title by @chickenshopcharlie congratulations to you both, you've won matching Turkey tracksuits and a personalised scarf each with your Tattle name embroidered on one side and the PayPal logo on the other
Last thread recap:
- Ratchet continues to be a ginormous cunt
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- Joshua Marshall was dismissed without notice from Devon and Cornwall Police for improperly accessing the police database, and using a false identity to contact members of the public.
- Iconic Irene creamed her period pants because Mrs Hinch posted herself wearing a REBL tracksuit. Note she described Ratchet as someone she "absolutely loves following", not a mate who she messages with every few days
- Wilbur and 8378537 of his animal toys went to the aquarium. You'd think seeing actual fish and marine life would be interesting enough for him, but if course he was allowed to spread his toys across the floor. Never mind anyone else visiting the aquarium who might want to enjoy their day out without risking breaking an ankle on a plastic elephantthen it was off to Wagamama's, where the son of whoever they'd gone with had to sit on the floor because Wilberforce put all his animals out on the bench seat. It's not cute or funny Rabies, it's really fucking rude and you need to learn to say no to your toddler once in a while, you thick shit.
- meanwhile, on the PatreCON, she filmed Sloshy talking on the phone to Simon, apologising for having spent time with another man, and offering to let him check his phone to confirm it wasn't a pre-arranged meetingis Simon a jealous lover now?
- on a Patreon q&a she confirmed that she only spends one day a week at the centre (delivering the pound shop freedom course), any other work that goes on there is picked up by one of her minions. They've also bought Seb a car for his upcoming 17th birthday, bet she's fuming she had to fork out because she'd bought Bratsy one.
- while on a live, Doormat Jo walked in and showed a scarf that Jen had bought her, which Rabies took to mean that Jen likes her better and now she's jealous, it's just like being back at school when Megan was friends with Jo, and now slags her off on the internet. Megan, if you're not already among us, please come and join!
- she answered a question about someone having fallen out with their best friend by saying she'd experienced this in the last yearwill Emily be thrown under that bus in this book, or is she saving that for another one?
- Rhubarb was chatting away to the Patreon huns, while Wilbert was coming through and taking animals to Lula's boyfriend, who was in another room. Of course talking (again) about how Lula was spoken about by some lads at school was more important than paying attention to her son. Wobbly was saying what sounded like "mum shall I choose" or "now shal I choose" because he was choosing animals to take through. Raffle was so confused, asking him if he wanted toast, or juice. He ran off again, and she laughed and said to the camera "if he could talk now he'd be like "what the fuck are you talking about" HE WAS TALKING, YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. He even differentiates between different size animals, calling them "daddy" if they are bigger. But sure, he's non-verbal and doesn't understand anything you say
- on another live, wrapped around Viking pills Victor in the migraine-inducing bathroom, waffling on about him being like Philip Schofield (what, in the closet for years and shagging younger men behind his wife's back?), Wobble could be heard coughing in another room. This was after she'd said he'd been coughing so hard he'd made himself sick, and neither Shit Mum Sharon or Silky Steve went to check on him. She even referred to "coughing Colin", and Slosh said "bronchitis Ben". That's your fucking toddler, you useless pair of twats. No wonder social services have a fucking hotline to the patchwork hamster cage house. She then went on to say she'd slept with Wilbert in Edie's bed in the night, but the sacked police officer had to come as well because he can't sleep without her there.
- there's yet another fucking raffle, this time the prizes are vouchers - would those be tha same vouchers you begged for via Amazon before Christmas hun? Not that it matters, because no fucker will win anywayshe's also plugging the CIC Patreon - yet another way of conning the followers out of their cash. She's promising a monthly newsletter, but we've all heard that one before Racket (remember the PayPal newsletters that never materialised?).
- Trolled Trina has been recording the audio version of her shit book, and the chapter on being trolled is "the biggest in the book, about 200 pages". If none of us get a name check we're going to be FUMING babes!
- the book will contain more rambling about her alleged time in foster care, throwing her poor, cancer stricken mum under the bus once again, and she's angry that no adults were there to look after her. Probably because you treated them all like shit, acted like a spoilt little cuntbag (smashing up a phone box because your mum wouldn't get you the trainers you wanted etc). She was upset that her dad moved in a neighbour after her mum left - perhaps a bit like Vanessa's kids felt, or Joyce's kids felt, when their dads shagged the town bike and then moved her in? The bestselling author apparently made "some of the most worst decisions"who's edited this shit, Winston? She will always encourage her kids to ask questions, and she will answer anything. Go on Seb, take one for the team and film yourself asking where the PayPal money is!
- she doesn't want to "feed or draw attention" to trollingdidn't realise this was going to be a joke book! The women who literally sits for hours complaining about trolls to anyone who will listen, whose husband went on a late night, pissed/coked up rampage trying to facetime someone who messaged him about their fanny, doesn't want to draw attention people took pictures of her when she was in public and posted them (erm exactly like one she shared herself, but because that was someone who thinks she's the saviour it isn't trolling. Ok hun). Mums she didn't know shared an article about her on their Facebook pages (if she doesn't know them, how does she know what they shared on their Facebook? Also, sharing shit on Facebook doesn't fit her narrative of "nameless trolls hiding behind fake profiles"). They called her a fraud and a child abuser (we see no lies here, Ratface), and men she went to school with shared the article and said horrible things about her (probably all true, seeing as she's been a cunt her whole life). She got "so poorly" that there were days she didn't want to be alive any more (remember this was when she was pregnant with her cash cow Wilbur). A quick dig at Edie's grandmother (who no doubt thought she was a massive cunt for cheating on her son while pregnant with his baby, then letting his daughter call someone else "daddy"). Blah blah blah, she was planning how to take her own life - using suicidal thoughts to flog a book is a new low. Limpdick Lionel was apparently clearing her inbox of "hundreds of messages" every day so she wouldn't see them. Sure he was hun
- after meeting Mrs Hinch last week (and refusing to take any photos), Rambo's got her nose firmly up Sopha's arsehole , making sure everyone knows they're mates now, and she'll be taking Wilby to Hinch notaFarm for a play date. Give it up Raq, it's never going to happen and you're just making yourself look sad and desperate.
- back at the Snatchwork hamster cage house, she's splashed out £200 on a new mirror for the top of the stairs, and hung it next to the window (the one with the sea view). Except it's not centred above the panelling and looks shit.
- Ramble was off to Exeter for more recording of her audio book (although she said she was off to "film" it), but sadly missed her train because Lego Hair Les made her stop to get something to eat and drink on the way. The train driver is clearly a troll, because the train "just fucked off and left me". How dare they try to stick to the scheduled timetable! Joyce was with her at the station, at 08:52, leaving Tattlers wondering who was doing the school run
- Ulcerated Ursula posted on PTWM Wilby going off to school and saying bye to Linda with a caption of "third day going to school with no meltdowns", then later posted on PatreCON that he was poorly and off schoolshe lies so much that she probably doesn't even notice any more.
- Bratsy's getting serious about launching herself as an influencer, she's now added Dogsbody Jo's email address to her Insta bio.
- Inappropriate Iona went to buy a birthday card for Lula's teacher
- clearly bored and wanting to up her engagement, she asked followers to give her a month and year, and she'd share a photo from then. First up was a photo of Sloshy holding a small Isaac, apparently from August 2017, but another photo from the same month showed him as much older. But she wouldn't lie, would she? Next was a video from Herpes Lodge in 2017, where she "wrote the first book". Except the next video was from February 2018, where she's walking through the house giving instructions for someone who was having the kids for the weekend (nice to see some things never change). The caption states that she looks back on this and wonders how she kept everything together with so many kids and working full time - but she started writing her book about being a "part time working mummy" the year before (and the viral story about "the woman on the bridge who inspired her to reduce her hours and spend more time with her kids was in 2016). A video from January 2017 showed Edie asking if she can take her iPad in the shower, with the caption that she was the exact age Wilbert is now, which makes Rumblestrip sad. Then came a video from May 2023which was when Bratsy and Seb were arguing over parking spaces, BeKind got upset that Seb called GG "your mate" (even though that's exactly what she is). Sloshy went out to tell everyone how to park their cars (remember folks, he's the expert as he was "trained by the police and the military"). He was stomping around wearing shorts and no top, with his hands down his pants like a toddler who's just discovered his appendage.
- Moaning Merv is at it again in the family group chat, complaining about people adding cordial before water and making a mess in the kitchen. He used to be on hedgehog patrol, now he's policing the kitchen worktops with an iron fist. The petty little dickhead.
- meanwhile, Edie's hoping to follow in the footsteps of her bestselling author mum, by writing her very own masterpiece. But unlike the sort of story you'd expect from a 9 year old, it's about a woman called Cass who's 29 and lives in London with her boyfriend Jake, and has moved away from her home in Devon. She goes on to talk about her "crappy dad". Either this wasn't actually written by Edie, she's been exposed to things she shouldn't have been, or she's been manipulated into writing about having a "crappy dad" (when, by all accounts, her actual dad is very loving and present).
- with the lack of anything else going on in his life, Group Chat Gareth is back on it, complaining about someone facetiming a friend loudly in the bathroom in the morning (because it's next to Wilbert's bedroom. What's the matter Slosh, can't be arsed to helter skelter down the stepladder on your arse to actually deal with your son?). Anyway, he helpfully offered to make a video showing how to close the door quietly, and posted a poll to ask whether he should do one. Honestly, the sad twat needs a fucking job. Seb epically replied, noting that his sperm donor bangs and crashes around in the kitchen in the morning, waking him up because it's next to his room. Of course Sloshy wasn't letting him get away with that, coming back to complain about Seb having long lie-ins and then wandering around in his boxers. If that's what he's doing, it's because of the example his dickhead dad is setting him.
- the ever so hard working parents of 6 kids took time out from their busy schedule to go out for a coffee (surprisingly not at Costa to use some of those vouchers). Arsetrid's Simon went in and did a great job of pretending not to see them, all the while Rambo was filming while Joyce slagged him off for not seeing them, and not using his phone to pay.
- Rumbaba has been sent a promo gift box of Mrs Hinch's new book and other assorted tat. You're not special Raq, her management will have sent out the exact same thing to loads of people. Thank goodness there was a dog teddy in there, because Wilbert's teacher has asked them to stop letting him bring in 6 million animal toys, as they're trying to prep him for school in September. So he's taken the teddy instead, and is fine (which just goes to show that lugging around a trailer full of toys is more for Rabid's benefit than Wilby's).
- Rasputin asked for recommendations for hairdressers in Devon. What 40 year old doesn't have a regular hairdresser, and goes to a different one each time? What was wrong with Mannah's one that she went to last time?
- another "family" dinner time, with half the family missing (including Wilby, who was probably in his room alone with a bag of Wotsits and a doughnut). Only 5 bowls of boring tomato pasta, as usual there were no drinks or cutlery.
- Rancid shared a live q&a from the Patreon, in which someone had asked what gives them the ick about each other. Again she said about going for a dump and showing Joyce the tissuewe get it Raq, you have a scat obsession, STOP FUCKING TELLING US. Sloshy went on to say he doesn't like it when she goes all day without eating or drinking, and can't take medication on time.
- there was a pop up for the tat shop, which Rambo and PA Jo attended dressed identically (turkey tracksuit, personalised scarf, and a sleeping bag coat). Jen joined in with the tracksuit gang, proving that they look shit no matter what size or shape you are.
- later it was off to Cantina with Edie and Wilberforce, while walking there Ratshit filmed sacked police officer Sloshua moaning about being "drained and emotional" from not eating. In the restaurant, Wobbly was shown with a pile of his animal toys, so they're not following the nursery's advice to start getting him to go places without them thenafter eating, it was off round the toxic mum's house, where "we did the housework", or rather Merlot Malcolm put the vacuum round while Iconic Irene filmed him.
- back at the Patchwork Shithole, old Leather Face Leon was "the best daddy" for wrapping gifts for Seb's birthday (including a pack of razors). No expense or effort was spared as he wrote Seb's name on each parcel with a Sharpie.
- Rashflaps has likely been sobbing into her rescue remedy all weekend at the news that her new bestie Stinky Stacey Solomon had a "little" baby shower and didn't even invite hermaybe your invite got lost in the post hun, Royal Mail are probably still catching up from the Christmas backlog. Either that or you missed a message from Stacey's undead sister about it because you thought it was someone contacting you for help
Running total of overnight breaks away since Joyce started his career break on 15 June:
Night at Herpes Lodge (midweek)
Night in Exeter (Saturday)
Night in London (midweek)
July:
Joyce's birthday - one night at Boringdon Hall (midweek), then two nights (Friday and Saturday) in a lodge in Cornwall with Arsetrid and Simon.
October:
Herpes Lodge (weekend), night in London (mid week in half term), Friday night in Southampton
November - 2 nights in London (Sunday and Monday)
December - 5 nights in Jubai
January - 1 night in London (Miss Greedy's book launch)
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It's such a shame that Rachel Hambleton is still thieving, conning & lying to so many people.
And Doxxing too.
I really do hope she goes to prison one day, gets a huge fine & has to pay back all the money she has stolen