PTWM #148 Josh is on the horny viking pills but they still can’t cure Rach of all her ills

ILoveUnicorns said:

Well done for being so brave @Sungirl1505 and calling the Police and keeping your kids safe. Sending you lots of hugs, keep us posted so we know you’re ok xx

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I don't feel brave at the moment, feel like an awful mum, scared for the future for us.
Your support means a lot x

VCJR said:

So glad that you phoned the police.
One threat in a relationship is one too many & an apology isn't enough to undo what's been done.
I'm so sorry that you had the misfortune of coming across Rachel Hambleton, PTWM. She's let down so many people & I don't think she's actually ever helped any victims of domestic abuse. She's just trying to get rich and famous by any means possible.
Look after yourself and your children & accept all the help you are offered.
Just make sure you stick with legitimate Women's charities.
Let us know how you get on, if you can.

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I don't think she has helped anyone either to be honest, certainly not in a DV relationship, any help she's offered (anyone) has resulted in her benefiting somehow, otherwise she has little or no interest.
I've got help this time, I hope anyone else who reaches out to her and is subsequently ignored is as lucky.
We certainly aren't trolls, we care for each other despite not meeting or knowing each others true identity.
Tomorrow 1st October will be first day of the rest of my life - grateful i can say that.
Xxxx

You’re not an awful mum, you have put your kids and yourself first that’s such a big step. Hopefully you can access some more support and reach out to family/friends later today. But if it’s easier to chat anonymously here then we got you and care. Hopefully it will then change to you feeling proud for getting rid and protecting your babies xx

QUOTE="Sungirl1505, post: 11960926, member: 169891"]
I don't feel brave at the moment, feel like an awful mum, scared for the future for us.
Your support means a lot x


I don't think she has helped anyone either to be honest, certainly not in a DV relationship, any help she's offered (anyone) has resulted in her benefiting somehow, otherwise she has little or no interest.
I've got help this time, I hope anyone else who reaches out to her and is subsequently ignored is as lucky.
We certainly aren't trolls, we care for each other despite not meeting or knowing each others true identity.
Tomorrow 1st October will be first day of the rest of my life - grateful i can say that.
Xxxx
[/QUOTE]
Goodness me, you are brave and you are not a bad mum. Please know that you have done nothing wrong here, he and only he is responsible for his actions, words, threats, behaviours. As someone who has both experienced and worked in DA I understand and sympathise. The night my child (thankfully) slept through him trashing my home then subsequently witnessed him calling me a c@nt and threw things at me, threatened to have me glassed and have my nose broken was the time I took charge and became the best mum by leaving him.
So many perps will have a reason for their behaviour the next day, whether that be a potential redundancy or your behaviour etc. I’m sure he didn’t threaten to slit any of his colleagues throats though did he. He can control those behaviours, drunk or otherwise.
I’m so so pleased to hear you have reached out here and taken on advice to get to safety now. I hope there is a charity or refuge locally to you that can fully support you in the coming days/weeks. It won’t come without its bumps but with the appropriate support you have absolutely got this
Please do let us know how you are when you can. You are absolutely right - this is the beginning of a journey to a place you and your children deserve and have the right to be in. What a strong and brave lady you are xxx

Sungirl1505 said:

I don't feel brave at the moment, feel like an awful mum, scared for the future for us.
Your support means a lot x


I don't think she has helped anyone either to be honest, certainly not in a DV relationship, any help she's offered (anyone) has resulted in her benefiting somehow, otherwise she has little or no interest.
I've got help this time, I hope anyone else who reaches out to her and is subsequently ignored is as lucky.
We certainly aren't trolls, we care for each other despite not meeting or knowing each others true identity.
Tomorrow 1st October will be first day of the rest of my life - grateful i can say that.
Xxxx

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I think it's normal to feel like a bad mother.
I still do.
But he's done this, not you. You met him & loved him. b
But unfortunately, abusive men & women fail to tell you that they have a history of being an abuser, or have problems controlling their temper.
It's all about love & happiness & getting to know one another, to start with. leaving the out the bits like the abuse towards previous partner.
Just keep reminding yourself of what he's done to you & your children, when he apologises & says he'll get help.
Good luck & rem you have a lot of Tattlers behind you, who care .
You are braver than you think.

@Sungirl1505 I hope you finally managed to get some sleep after the police had been. You're very brave and the opposite of a bad mum

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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Please contact the police, Don’t stay in the house where it is not safe. Wait until he leaves the house and gather essentials.
Do you have any relatives/friends you can go to.?
Remove yourself from the situation, Maybe if you go on the school run alert a pastoral /head teacher. Please don’t stay in that situation.

VCJR said:

Do you know how this referral is done & to whom?

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I’ve only ever worked in my county, but here it’s the “[name of local authority] Local Authority Designated Officer” (LADO).
ETA I’ve corrected myself below.

Sungirl1505 said:

I don't feel brave at the moment, feel like an awful mum, scared for the future for us.
Your support means a lot x


I don't think she has helped anyone either to be honest, certainly not in a DV relationship, any help she's offered (anyone) has resulted in her benefiting somehow, otherwise she has little or no interest.
I've got help this time, I hope anyone else who reaches out to her and is subsequently ignored is as lucky.
We certainly aren't trolls, we care for each other despite not meeting or knowing each others true identity.
Tomorrow 1st October will be first day of the rest of my life - grateful i can say that.
Xxxx

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Sending lots of love and strength. Take care. Xx

ETA I think she’s in Torbay and theirs only seems to be for children. This seems the most relevant to her.

rainbowhouse said:

I’ve only ever worked in my county, but here it’s the “[name of local authority] Local Authority Designated Officer” (LADO).
ETA I’ve corrected myself below.

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Thank you, I'll look into it & report her again if I can.

Sungirl I just wanted to add my support. You are extremely brave and exactly the mum your children need. I think men underestimate the power of motherhood. We will put up with so much when it is just us, but when children become involved/affected our tiger mum instinct kicks in. I hope you are all safe now, and sending you all the love and strength. xxx

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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Stay safe. There are some amazing genuine DA charities & you will get help.
Take Care

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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Stay safe, thinking of you!

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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Sending love and strength

@Sungirl1505 Iv just woke up to your comments. Are you OK and safe? How are the children? You can message here anytime you want. There are some helpful contacts listed on the wiki if you need them (pink button at the top of this page) stay strong xxxxx

@Sungirl1505 Hope you and your children managed to get out safely. I know it will seem hard now but better days are coming . Please let us know your ok when you can xx

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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That's terrible, I hope your OK

Please please please seek some help today and get yourselves out of there. There's lots of links in the wiki for help and advice and lots of people on here can probably point out further resources for you too.

Don't be sorry for posting here, you'll get lots of support which you need at the moment

How can this be right? How is fucking rabid getting away with this? All these women messaging her for help in there most desperate times and she is ignoring them I am absolutely raging that another person has asked her for help when they are desperate and she ignores them, she needs stopped. I am so angry, I absolutely detest that piece of shit. Out getting her hair done and buying another designer bag and her inbox is probably full of messages from desperate women looking for help. @Sungirl1505 i really hope you and your children are safe and getting help and support from people who genuinely care Please if you can let us know how you are.

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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I hope today brings you safety. It may be difficult to post which area you are in but if you can I/we could look into signposting you to some safe places if you can’t access the internet.
Please update us when you can.

Sungirl1505 said:

My partner has threatened to slit my throat in front of my children tonight, I'm on the floor in my youngest child's room, so they feel safe. In the past I turned to shambleton for help - only to be ignored.
This will be the last night we stay here, one way or another. At breaking point. Sorry to post on here x

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I really hope you find a safe haven. Be strong. And remember it will be hard for a long while to come but in a few years you will look back on this time and you won’t know how you did it but you will realise how strong you really are I really hope you are all ok.