Hope you have support around you. It’s good to talk about it. But am also glad u did not reach out to her. That would have been a kick in the teeth when u were already down x
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I have no one. I keep it all in but that’s better than reaching out to a fraudster I guess. I feel for the poor women who did and got nothing back. It’s heartbreaking.
*edit for spellings*
There's links to help in the Wiki. Please look at them.
I hope, one day, you find your strength. You are worth so much more
there’s some DV help in the wiki (pink button at the top) I send my best wishes to you. please, there’s anything i can do don’t hesitate but to say X
Thank you. I did have a little look. Most involve calling so it’s a bit difficult. Just a bad day today but I’ll be ok. X
Agree with the others.please seek support. You are worthy of care, love and respect. There is help out there. Taking the first step is hard but all things that are worthwhile take a difficult first step. Good luck and please post here if you’re lonely xx
Thank you so much. Today was a bad day so I’m feeling low tonight. I’ll be ok in the morning I’m sure. Thanks again x
She proper messed up there about him watching his TV show, she cut herself off also. She must have forgotten she said he was on nights. I wonder why she’s lying and more importantly why he goes along with it? He was in the car when she said itJust come on to say the same
I looked on Devon and Cornwall shifts and night shifts can start either 21.00 or 22.00 it’s now 21.35 and still sitting at home
If you have a Women's Aid near you, please contact them.
They are properly qualified & trained to help you, and they are legal too. They will be as discreet as you need them to be & provide a safe reguge for you.
They helped me and have helped so many other women and children.
Thank you. I just had a look and I’ve seen they do a chat service so this will work better for me.
This is not correct btw. My daughter has a summer birthday and went to school when she was five rather than 4. As long as the school agrees they are allowed to go straight into reception. Absolutely the best decision we have ever made.The one about not sending him to school until his after he’s already 5… she does know that he’d go straight into the year group he’s supposed to join? Unless it changes between now and then, he’d be going into Year 1 whilst missing a whole foundation year of knowledge
Pl
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I stayed for far too long, hoping he would change & also trying to get the courage to admit to myself that the situation was so bad & so dangerous.
There is a lot of help out there.
Glad you didn't ask for help from Rach,
you would have been ignored.
But you will not be ignored by Womens Aid, and be given so much help & support.
Please do it & good luck too
.I stayed for far too long, hoping he would change & also trying to get the courage to admit to myself that the situation was so bad & so dangerous.
There is a lot of help out there.
Glad you didn't ask for help from Rach,
you would have been ignored.
But you will not be ignored by Womens Aid, and be given so much help & support
.Thank you for your kind words. This has gone on for years. I’ve sought help before (I’ve even done the freedom programme) had 2 years of therapy yet I still can’t leave. Doesn’t matter what he says or does to me I stay and he knows it too which is why he carries on. I’m so pleased you got out. Maybe one day I can be brave too.Pl
Please do it & good luck too
I stayed for far too long, hoping he would change & also trying to get the courage to admit to myself that the situation was so bad & so dangerous.
There is a lot of help out there.
Glad you didn't ask for help from Rach,
you would have been ignored.
But you will not be ignored by Womens Aid, and be given so much help & support
I
I stayed for years too, and i know how hard it is to leave, when you still love this person. But the love does eventually die, after so many years of abuse.
If you do leave and want a divorce, that's if you are married, please look for a good solicitor, someone who can do it as quickly as possible.
My divorce took 8 long years and another year for finances to be sorted.
Otherwise, look after yourself, keep your phone with you & maybe look at some self defense videos on YouTube.
I have a friend who keeps various weapons in her bedroom, and a can of wasp spray.
Not sure if that's legal though.
Although abusing women isn't legal either.
Hope you can leave one day.
I stayed for years too, and i know how hard it is to leave, when you still love this person. But the love does eventually die, after so many years of abuse.
If you do leave and want a divorce, that's if you are married, please look for a good solicitor, someone who can do it as quickly as possible.
My divorce took 8 long years and another year for finances to be sorted.
Otherwise, look after yourself, keep your phone with you & maybe look at some self defense videos on YouTube.
I have a friend who keeps various weapons in her bedroom, and a can of wasp spray.
Not sure if that's legal though
. Although abusing women isn't legal either.
I wanted to reiterate what others have said. I work in DA and whilst I don’t purport to be an expert I know there are amazing services out there. R does not offer any of them and you were right not to do so. As you say Women’s Aid has a chat service and any credible support service will also have a quick close system on their website so if your husband was to come into the room you’d have that option. I’m guessing weekends may be harder as perhaps you both (or he) works during the week so you have some time away? Perhaps you could make an appointment for someone to call you when you know he will be out? You mention you have sought support and done the Freedom programme in the past - that alone shows great strength. Nobody would ever judge you for not leaving him and I absolutely know that with credible support services they would never push you too either. It also doesn’t have to be an ‘all in’ situation where you flee entirely but it might be an idea to talk through a safety or escape plan with someone. Your husband may think you’ll never leave, and so might you at the moment but always remember you have choices, you deserve to be loved in a kind and respectful way and as scary as everything seems - you are not alone
To be fair, I think the McDonald’s trip was worth it. It’s the only time I’ve seen them eating alongside him at a table!
I reckon when he starts nursery/reception, she will be one of those parents who carries their child in, making no steps towards potty training and expecting staff to do it all. A reception teacher told me there’s always a few that get carried or push chaired in across the playground, and she knows they will be the ones who will find it hard at school. Nicking food off others plates, not being able to sit etc because the parents baby them (regardless if they’ve got additional needs or not) you can tell Wilby can be so much more independent than what they are allowing. PULL YOUR FINGER OUT YOUR ASS YOU SLOVENLY FOOL RACHHHHHHHH
I’m confused. Wasn’t josh moaning on about kids always being at their house! There wouldn’t be a chance in hell of me driving round dropping off stuff to kids that were dossing at my house- he just permeates the problems (their mates even get their tit dropped off to them- great service or what!)
Yeaaaaaa I’m sure your really grateful kids really appreciated you spending the evening doing that whilst they are sat at home with their fingers up their arses.
Sorry, if my child forgot something, they would either be in the car with me collecting it or “bad luck” that’s what happens when you forget something. This is why they are all so ungrateful, bratty and irresponsible. Don’t moan about it josh when you give none of them any responsibility or accountability at all.
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I truly hope tomorrow is a better day for you. If you can't call yourself (and I absolutely understand why that is difficult for you) do you perhaps have a friend you could trust and have them call on your behalf? But even if not I know what it is to be completely isolated? Are you maybe about to create a new email address and always log out, leaving no trace. I know how difficult that can seen though, when you are in the thick of it. But even if you can't do it today, maybe you can tomorrow. Please hold on to hope.
You are worthy of better. You don't deserve the way you are living. It doesn't matter how much therapy you have had before, or how much time you have spent doing the Freedom Programne in the past. It doesn't make you any less deserving of help now.
I hope you find a way to get the help that you warrant now, and I say that kindly - not to guilt you. We aren't Racheleeellle. I know how hard it can be to accept that help or to act on what you are learning. Love is so complicated and just because someone is unkind to you it doesn't mean your love ends for them instantly even though that is how Rachellele makes it seem. Just know you deserve better. I hope today is the day you can make that move, but even if you can't, it doesn't mean you are any less deserving of that same help tomorrow, or next week or next month. Whenever it is you are able to make that step.
Anyways know you deserve better, always know that despite Racheleele and the way she behaves there are many, many people who will help you whenever that time comes.
Take care of you. This bunch of horrible trolls will be cheering you on and sending you love, no matter what. Just be kind to you.
That is such a lovely messageI truly hope tomorrow is a better day for you. If you can't call yourself (and I absolutely understand why that is difficult for you) do you perhaps have a friend you could trust and have them call on your behalf? But even if not I know what it is to be completely isolated? Are you maybe about to create a new email address and always log out, leaving no trace. I know how difficult that can seen though, when you are in the thick of it. But even if you can't do it today, maybe you can tomorrow. Please hold on to hope.
You are worthy of better. You don't deserve the way you are living. It doesn't matter how much therapy you have had before, or how much time you have spent doing the Freedom Programne in the past. It doesn't make you any less deserving of help now.
I hope you find a way to get the help that you warrant now, and I say that kindly - not to guilt you. We aren't Racheleeellle. I know how hard it can be to accept that help or to act on what you are learning. Love is so complicated and just because someone is unkind to you it doesn't mean your love ends for them instantly even though that is how Rachellele makes it seem. Just know you deserve better. I hope today is the day you can make that move, but even if you can't, it doesn't mean you are any less deserving of that same help tomorrow, or next week or next month. Whenever it is you are able to make that step.
Anyways know you deserve better, always know that despite Racheleele and the way she behaves there are many, many people who will help you whenever that time comes.
Take care of you. This bunch of horrible trolls will be cheering you on and sending you love, no matter what. Just be kind to you.
all I would say is that it’s unusual for a service to liaise with a friend, for a number of reasons. Hopefully this lovely lady will feel able to reach out herself. I also hope she knows that therapy doesn’t always provide the answers or strength. I’m not saying all but some therapists will focus on the ‘why’s’ ‘why do you think you stayed’ ‘what is it about him you love’ - there is no answer to those questions and it almost suggests the survivor needs to fix themselves or they are in some way ‘damaged’ which is why they put up with it. That is absolutely not the case! Years of control and gaslighting can take its toll on the strongest of people and it’s always about the perpetrator not you. I really hope today you feel that little bit stronger knowing you have support out here xThank you for all you kind words. They mean a lot. I rarely hear anything positive or kind. I have no friends. Zero. So no help there. I have family but none I could go to about this. We appear very ‘together’ and like a good team to the outside. We have children as well.
It’s at a point where he’s not even really sorry anymore for what he says/does. He’ll say “sorry” but if I say later on that his words have hurt me (for example yesterday I got called a fat bleep whilst he grabbed at my stomach and said I had saggy tits. Plus lots more) he’ll get angry and say he’s said sorry and that should be enough. Some days I really feel like I hate him but even that’s not enough to get me to leave. I just feel sad and alone.
It’s at a point where he’s not even really sorry anymore for what he says/does. He’ll say “sorry” but if I say later on that his words have hurt me (for example yesterday I got called a fat bleep whilst he grabbed at my stomach and said I had saggy tits. Plus lots more) he’ll get angry and say he’s said sorry and that should be enough. Some days I really feel like I hate him but even that’s not enough to get me to leave. I just feel sad and alone.
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