New thread title thanks to @Okgolightly 
you've won a blank card to write to yourself saying how amazing you are 
and some lipstick for you not to wear (no exploitative jumpers for you though!).
Last thread recap:
- Racquet is a massive bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- the final results of the poll are in, only 2.7% of voters (10 people) would rather receive a photo of Sloshy's manhood than slam their tits in a car door!
- yet another bloody roast dinner
which was served up with nobody sat at the table. Joyce made a big deal that Edie would ask for a drink (no idea what his problem is with her having a drink with her meal). Edie's face looked like she was eating poison, so much for your cooking Raq!
- She went live on the Patreon, the snippet showed her sitting with Betsy, who talked over Rawhide and swore every other word. The Tattle spy informed us that it also included talk of another baby (Sloshy has said she can't get pregnant before May because he has something planned, so she wants to get pregnant in May for a February baby. Maybe he wants time to get the snip, because the last thing anyone in that house needs is another child). Betsy has failed her second driving test. Turns out all the missed calls and unanswered texts from Edie while Rancho was "working" (aka snorting her way round the NEC trying to blag some freebies) were because Edie wasn't feeling well. So she spent the day ignoring her unwell 8 year old.
- dots of death (in the car, a nice change from the love nest loft). She's hardly slept, because Wilbert has a cough and Joyce brought him into their bed. Everything went to tit on Monday because Rancid wasn't there, but Sloshy was (he usually goes with her and then Stabby Jo looks after them all). Kids woke up, Raq wasn't there (did she not tell them she would be up and out early?). Seb and Edie both felt unwell, Joyce didn't give a tit. Edie tried calling from her iPad, which Rawhide ignored, but then answered a call from Sloshy which was actually Edie on his phone. Edie's shoes were in the back of the car that she had, so she tried to ring Sloshua to let him know, but he didn't answer, so she logged into the cctv as you can talk through it. Betsy's the only one who's "genuinely" poorly with tonsillitis (or hangover/comedown from giving it one of them over the weekend?). Isaac had his phone taken away so stole Edie's to message his mates (pick a lane Raq, the kid swings from being an absolute angel, to spawn of the devil in the blink of an eye). Edie has a breakdown if they leave late, which Joyce doesn't know (even though he probably does, because he does more school runs than lie-in Linda). Basically Sloshy is useless and can't cope with the 3 kids and 3 stepkids he has, and nobody can do anything without St Rancho around she was so stressed about it all that she ate a load of fizzy sweets which set off her mouth ulcers. She was off to get another Costa, funny how she never used to mention having a Costa before she begged for all those vouchers 
- dots of doom (in the tracksuit that's not an ad put probably should be). Hannah's son was staying over and him and Isaac started play fighting, and I went to get a belt
but fell over and hit his head on the door, apparently there was blood everywhere and he has a massive black eye.
- chatting with Seb about why he hates April (they're always rubbish!), and a Patreon spy told us that in the extended version over there, he mentioned smoking weed and Racket just laughed. Joyce walked in and ignored what Racquet said about Seb to talk about what Wilbert ate for his tea.
- A sneaky peek from the Patreon shows Wilby throwing and catching a ball with various family members. It's lovely to see him developing, but is it worth a fiver a month?
- Lula walked in (barely wearing a skirt), and was confused at finding the whole family in the same room, obviously not a common event in the happy patchwork family.
- some more safeguarding going on, filming Seb with no top on dancing around while Sloshy tries to watch something on TV (shouldn't that be marked as #ad seeing as Sky paid her to promote the TV?). Raq further distracted Joyce by asking "do you love him", he said "yeah, he's just weird" whild shaking his head
- Betsy's got a new job, but Ratchet can't tell anyone where it is in case they get letters (I mean, the last time it was because she broadcast that B's employers were breaking the law, but yes, blame the trolls).
- another day, another round of watching Wilby look at trees while Rancho films, snorts, and says "do you love it". Then lunch and the park with a mate, who spent time helping Wilby go on the slide while Ratchet (yep, you've guessed it), filmed and said "do you love it".
- in possibly the funniest thing she's done in ages, Raq did an advert for a personal stylist service, which clearly she's in need of, given that she was wearing a khaki green flamenco top!
- on the Patreon, Seb was talking about planning a party, and Gangsta Granny was heard to comment "I'll bring the weed!". Is that why everyone loves her brownies so much?!
- Raq asked for urgent help with finding a one bedroom flat locally, and a Tattler noted that someone she knows was also looking for a one bedroom flat for someone who is friends with Rawhide. Coincidence?
- Rancho shared some guff about being busy, with a text screenshot from her mum (the one who abandoned her when she was 4) and a caption about not getting back to people. Presumably that includes all the desperate women who have messaged her and been ignored, or people wanting food parcels before Christmas?
- Up in the hobbit loft, Rancid showed off how many clothes she has, including great big piles of things she's been gifted, some still with the tags on. These will be passed on to the women at the launderette, who will be grateful for Toothy Tina's cast offs
- After taking Edie and Wilby to the park all by herself the other day, Raq earned herself a child free lunch date, and headed off with Sloshy and Stabby Jo to meet Arsetrid and Simon. Unfortunately, despite all those clothes, and the massive mirror in the lounge, she left the house looking like she'd been unfortunate enough to have been near a paint factory explosion while Joyce pulled out his trusty old condom hat and a waterproof shirt while out, Racket yet again forced herself to drink fizzy cat's piss, what a hero!
- Raq treated herself to some vile rings, chunky, plastic tat that look like they came out of a cracker. ยฃ10 says we never see her wear them.
- Back at El Rancho Patchworkio, we were introduced to the newest member of the family - a mouse in the wheely bin.
- Sloshua was encouraging Wilby to spin around in the bare lounge, but when he fell it was Stabby Jo who helped him up, because Ratshit was filming and Slosh was looking at his phone. Who are his parents again?
- someone asked which fake tan R uses, so without actually answering she said it may be stocked in the tat shop soon.
- Queen of safeguarding shared a video of Wilby sat in just his nappy and dancing.
- The PT who's on the Patchwork bandwagon is launching a fundraising event which is basically the Couch to 5k programme that everyone has already heard of. Groundbreaking stuff.
- it was raining, so Rawhide had to show it out of the hobbit loft window, and said she didn't know how she was going to walk Wilby (sounding like he was a dog, not a child).
-
- Valentine's Day dawned, and Joyce ordered flowers for Ratchet, with the card reading "for the hot bit of stuff I married"
- Rancho has obviously been pulled up by the ASA over her promotion of her mate's company Porky Penguin, as she usually puts #notanaddickheads on her stories about their products, but this time it was marked as an ad. Well done Raq, keep it up!
- then she showed off not one but two Valentine's cards from Sloshy, proclaiming "oh my god, I love you so much" and "I can't love you enough".
- Raquel and Emily rambled about a virtual 5 miles to raise money for the centre, in conjunction with their PT mate Leanne.
- videos of Wilby looking at trees seems to have been replaced by videos of Wilby throwing and catching a ball. Luckily this time Seb was on hand to stop it being thrown at the telly (shouldn't that be marked as #ad?).
- meanwhile, Betsy uploaded a TikTok where she mimed chopping and snorting coke.
- Raq was off to the tat shop with PA Jo and Arsetrid, showing off how many "wow" jumpers they've sold. Then it was off to rummage through some of the stock, including stickers saying "I love someone with autism". Nothing like further exploiting a child who doesn't actually have a diagnosis, is there? Next were t-shirts with the slogan "raise them kind", if only Raq was raising her own kids kind
- Rawhide was up and out early (with her retainers in, Raq hun, they're not really helping). Not to get her multiple kids to school on time, of course, but to go and play shops with her paid friends. At the sweatshop packing hovel, she was "really frightened" to be there on her own (so why broadcast you're there on your own then). She couldn't find the light switch, here's a top tip Rancho - stop filming yourself and use the torch on your phone maybe?
- Racquetball is going to be a guest speaker at the disgustingly named "Refuge Fest"
Is her specialist subject going to be how to scam loads of money out of everyone?
- Arsetrid is helping with the packing, and some prick with more money than sense has bought 3 of the tacky jumpers.
- back at the centre, Emily is busy saving lives with free coffee. Oh no, she's actually pissing around on the floor while someone takes photos. Is it a vulnerable woman? Or is she just messing around in the "safe space" with a mate?
- The trolls must all be terrible parents, but we're not the ones telling our 8 year old to go away so we can talk to our phones, are we? A massive tragedy has occurred - the schools are closing a day early due to the coming storms, how will Ratchet cope with having all the kids home for a whole extra day when she's SO BUSY? Well Betsy will be out on the piss, Seb will be either with his girlfriend or at Gangsta Granny's, Lula will be round her boyfriend's house, Edie will be packed off to her dad's, and Wilby will be roaming the halls of the Patchwork Palace helping himself to firelighters and crisps. Sorted it for you babe! She's been REALLY BUSY doing loads of podcasts, with more coming. She's recently been trolled really hard" and loads of people sent it to her (aka she spent a few hours catching up on Tattle), and she's pissed off because they said she does duck all and only pretends to work. Truth hurts, doesn't it?! Yet again she's working on something with a charity (this time it's Trevi) which she'll tell us about another time. Except we've heard it all before with various charities, and she never does tell us she also wants to work with family courts and "change the system". I doubt actual qualified, experienced lawyers can change the system, so what chance a jumped up chav from Paignton stands is anyone's guess.
If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
you've won a blank card to write to yourself saying how amazing you are and some lipstick for you not to wear (no exploitative jumpers for you though!).Last thread recap:
- Racquet is a massive bleep.
- she doesn't work either full or part time, and can't be arsed to parent her kids and step kids.
- the final results of the poll are in, only 2.7% of voters (10 people) would rather receive a photo of Sloshy's manhood than slam their tits in a car door!
- yet another bloody roast dinner
which was served up with nobody sat at the table. Joyce made a big deal that Edie would ask for a drink (no idea what his problem is with her having a drink with her meal). Edie's face looked like she was eating poison, so much for your cooking Raq! - She went live on the Patreon, the snippet showed her sitting with Betsy, who talked over Rawhide and swore every other word. The Tattle spy informed us that it also included talk of another baby (Sloshy has said she can't get pregnant before May because he has something planned, so she wants to get pregnant in May for a February baby. Maybe he wants time to get the snip, because the last thing anyone in that house needs is another child). Betsy has failed her second driving test. Turns out all the missed calls and unanswered texts from Edie while Rancho was "working" (aka snorting her way round the NEC trying to blag some freebies) were because Edie wasn't feeling well. So she spent the day ignoring her unwell 8 year old.
- dots of death (in the car, a nice change from the love nest loft). She's hardly slept, because Wilbert has a cough and Joyce brought him into their bed. Everything went to tit on Monday because Rancid wasn't there, but Sloshy was (he usually goes with her and then Stabby Jo looks after them all). Kids woke up, Raq wasn't there (did she not tell them she would be up and out early?). Seb and Edie both felt unwell, Joyce didn't give a tit. Edie tried calling from her iPad, which Rawhide ignored, but then answered a call from Sloshy which was actually Edie on his phone. Edie's shoes were in the back of the car that she had, so she tried to ring Sloshua to let him know, but he didn't answer, so she logged into the cctv as you can talk through it. Betsy's the only one who's "genuinely" poorly with tonsillitis (or hangover/comedown from giving it one of them over the weekend?). Isaac had his phone taken away so stole Edie's to message his mates (pick a lane Raq, the kid swings from being an absolute angel, to spawn of the devil in the blink of an eye). Edie has a breakdown if they leave late, which Joyce doesn't know (even though he probably does, because he does more school runs than lie-in Linda). Basically Sloshy is useless and can't cope with the 3 kids and 3 stepkids he has, and nobody can do anything without St Rancho around
she was so stressed about it all that she ate a load of fizzy sweets which set off her mouth ulcers. She was off to get another Costa, funny how she never used to mention having a Costa before she begged for all those vouchers - dots of doom (in the tracksuit that's not an ad put probably should be). Hannah's son was staying over and him and Isaac started play fighting, and I went to get a belt
but fell over and hit his head on the door, apparently there was blood everywhere and he has a massive black eye. - chatting with Seb about why he hates April (they're always rubbish!), and a Patreon spy told us that in the extended version over there, he mentioned smoking weed and Racket just laughed. Joyce walked in and ignored what Racquet said about Seb to talk about what Wilbert ate for his tea.
- A sneaky peek from the Patreon shows Wilby throwing and catching a ball with various family members. It's lovely to see him developing, but is it worth a fiver a month?
- Lula walked in (barely wearing a skirt), and was confused at finding the whole family in the same room, obviously not a common event in the happy patchwork family.
- some more safeguarding going on, filming Seb with no top on dancing around while Sloshy tries to watch something on TV (shouldn't that be marked as #ad seeing as Sky paid her to promote the TV?). Raq further distracted Joyce by asking "do you love him", he said "yeah, he's just weird" whild shaking his head
- Betsy's got a new job, but Ratchet can't tell anyone where it is in case they get letters (I mean, the last time it was because she broadcast that B's employers were breaking the law, but yes, blame the trolls
). - another day, another round of watching Wilby look at trees while Rancho films, snorts, and says "do you love it". Then lunch and the park with a mate, who spent time helping Wilby go on the slide while Ratchet (yep, you've guessed it), filmed and said "do you love it".
- in possibly the funniest thing she's done in ages, Raq did an advert for a personal stylist service, which clearly she's in need of, given that she was wearing a khaki green flamenco top!
- on the Patreon, Seb was talking about planning a party, and Gangsta Granny was heard to comment "I'll bring the weed!". Is that why everyone loves her brownies so much?!
- Raq asked for urgent help with finding a one bedroom flat locally, and a Tattler noted that someone she knows was also looking for a one bedroom flat for someone who is friends with Rawhide. Coincidence?
- Rancho shared some guff about being busy, with a text screenshot from her mum (the one who abandoned her when she was 4) and a caption about not getting back to people. Presumably that includes all the desperate women who have messaged her and been ignored, or people wanting food parcels before Christmas?
- Up in the hobbit loft, Rancid showed off how many clothes she has, including great big piles of things she's been gifted, some still with the tags on. These will be passed on to the women at the launderette, who will be grateful for Toothy Tina's cast offs
- After taking Edie and Wilby to the park all by herself the other day, Raq earned herself a child free lunch date, and headed off with Sloshy and Stabby Jo to meet Arsetrid and Simon. Unfortunately, despite all those clothes, and the massive mirror in the lounge, she left the house looking like she'd been unfortunate enough to have been near a paint factory explosion
while Joyce pulled out his trusty old condom hat and a waterproof shirt while out, Racket yet again forced herself to drink fizzy cat's piss, what a hero!- Raq treated herself to some vile rings, chunky, plastic tat that look like they came out of a cracker. ยฃ10 says we never see her wear them.
- Back at El Rancho Patchworkio, we were introduced to the newest member of the family - a mouse in the wheely bin.
- Sloshua was encouraging Wilby to spin around in the bare lounge, but when he fell it was Stabby Jo who helped him up, because Ratshit was filming and Slosh was looking at his phone. Who are his parents again?
- someone asked which fake tan R uses, so without actually answering she said it may be stocked in the tat shop soon.
- Queen of safeguarding shared a video of Wilby sat in just his nappy and dancing.
- The PT who's on the Patchwork bandwagon is launching a fundraising event which is basically the Couch to 5k programme that everyone has already heard of. Groundbreaking stuff.
- it was raining, so Rawhide had to show it out of the hobbit loft window, and said she didn't know how she was going to walk Wilby (sounding like he was a dog, not a child).
-
TW - SUICIDE Raq shared a photo and hashtag, with the words "trigger warning" but no detail as to what the warning was for. The hashtag led to posts and photos relating to a 12 year old boy who had died by suicide after being bullied. Of course bestselling author Rancid found some beautiful, poignant words to go alongside her share - oh no, she just put "heartbreaking 
"
"- Rancho has obviously been pulled up by the ASA over her promotion of her mate's company Porky Penguin, as she usually puts #notanaddickheads on her stories about their products, but this time it was marked as an ad. Well done Raq, keep it up!
- then she showed off not one but two Valentine's cards from Sloshy, proclaiming "oh my god, I love you so much" and "I can't love you enough".
- Raquel and Emily rambled about a virtual 5 miles to raise money for the centre, in conjunction with their PT mate Leanne.
- videos of Wilby looking at trees seems to have been replaced by videos of Wilby throwing and catching a ball. Luckily this time Seb was on hand to stop it being thrown at the telly (shouldn't that be marked as #ad?).
- meanwhile, Betsy uploaded a TikTok where she mimed chopping and snorting coke.
- Raq was off to the tat shop with PA Jo and Arsetrid, showing off how many "wow" jumpers they've sold. Then it was off to rummage through some of the stock, including stickers saying "I love someone with autism". Nothing like further exploiting a child who doesn't actually have a diagnosis, is there? Next were t-shirts with the slogan "raise them kind", if only Raq was raising her own kids kind
- Rawhide was up and out early (with her retainers in, Raq hun, they're not really helping
). Not to get her multiple kids to school on time, of course, but to go and play shops with her paid friends. At the sweatshop packing hovel, she was "really frightened" to be there on her own (so why broadcast you're there on your own then). She couldn't find the light switch, here's a top tip Rancho - stop filming yourself and use the torch on your phone maybe? - Racquetball is going to be a guest speaker at the disgustingly named "Refuge Fest"
Is her specialist subject going to be how to scam loads of money out of everyone?- Arsetrid is helping with the packing, and some prick with more money than sense has bought 3 of the tacky jumpers.
- back at the centre, Emily is busy saving lives with free coffee. Oh no, she's actually pissing around on the floor while someone takes photos. Is it a vulnerable woman? Or is she just messing around in the "safe space" with a mate?
- The trolls must all be terrible parents, but we're not the ones telling our 8 year old to go away so we can talk to our phones, are we? A massive tragedy has occurred - the schools are closing a day early due to the coming storms, how will Ratchet cope with having all the kids home for a whole extra day when she's SO BUSY? Well Betsy will be out on the piss, Seb will be either with his girlfriend or at Gangsta Granny's, Lula will be round her boyfriend's house, Edie will be packed off to her dad's, and Wilby will be roaming the halls of the Patchwork Palace helping himself to firelighters and crisps. Sorted it for you babe! She's been REALLY BUSY doing loads of podcasts, with more coming. She's recently been trolled really hard" and loads of people sent it to her (aka she spent a few hours catching up on Tattle), and she's pissed off because they said she does duck all and only pretends to work. Truth hurts, doesn't it?! Yet again she's working on something with a charity (this time it's Trevi) which she'll tell us about another time. Except we've heard it all before with various charities, and she never does tell us
she also wants to work with family courts and "change the system". I doubt actual qualified, experienced lawyers can change the system, so what chance a jumped up chav from Paignton stands is anyone's guess.If you are new, please read the wiki (pink button at the top) and if you are in need of support or advice in relation to domestic abuse, there are some links and helplines listed at the bottom of the wiki page
.
