Prisoner Pen Pal?

[Felix08]

I looked at the profiles and No I wouldnt write to them even though I always feel bad for people. But the 2 clicked on had crimes that they shouldnt have to do, they had a choice.

 

[Neonmoon]

Yes I have an inmate pen pal, I do it through JPay, this person doesn’t know any of my personal details and I’m very careful about giving details out etc, he has said many times he’s just got someone to talk too.

 

[FriendlyBoa]

Hello

Has anyone ever had a pen pal in prison?
I have just written my first letter to someone and want to know if anyone has any experiences to share or any advice on the type of things to write into the letters?

It's something I have always wanted to do so I finally wrote one! I hope to hear back, it's all very interesting to me

Yes, for the last 12 years. One is now out and we talk online and the other is due to be released this year.

Both in the states.

Absolutely nothing remotely romantic or flirty. Never been to visit, never plan to.

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I don’t agree with some of the inflammatory comments you’ve received. People can disagree with the subject without resorting to personal comments or digs at your character. Plenty of folk out there write to prisoners for whatever reason, otherwise it wouldn’t be a thing, and this has been an interesting thread (even although I wouldn’t do it myself).

Thank you, much appreciated! I agree that some people will do this with different intentions to me. Some women were fascinated with Ted Bundy and wrote to him because they were attracted to him. That's bizarre to me and also interesting at the same time, the same with Richard Ramirez, he has a big female following didn't he?

 

[bupbupamericano]

This guy writes to all of the notorious criminals. He also gives them his home address apparently (I once asked him out of curiosity). The mind boggles.

Instagram

instagram.com

 

[theghosttown]

You are quite right if you take every question stand alone, but when you look at their posting history (see the death penalty thread) then you might wonder about their motives. Not being snarky, just worried about the OP.

No that’s a fair comment, I haven’t read previous comments. Just this post x

 

[catcat94]

Do you write multiple or just the one!? Yeah I've not said much in my first letter just a general summary!

Been writing to one since August, and started writing to another recently.
they are in diff prisons they advise against writing to two in the same state for obvious reasons.
I use an app, so they haven’t my address or real name.
never been asked for money or nudes, I’ve sent pics but full dressed.
Can’t see any problems in it tbh!

anyway the internet is a great place, you can search pretty much whatever, and find out about them before writing

 

[Bad Karma]

Just found this thread and I'm genuinely curious as to the reasons people would want prison pen pal, rather than any other person as a pen pal? What is the appeal about writing to a prisoner? Whether they are innocent or guilty, or on a path of rehabilitation, what is the aim in writing to them?

It's worrying to see how many people view this as a 'harmless' thing and view themselves to be well informed through a scan of a profile or a Google search. Do the profiles list personality traits and disorders as well as offending history? You don't know the prisoners intentions and once the communication is there, you can't control the impact that their words, behaviour or offending may have on you.

Do you know whether you're effectively contributing to their sexual fantasy by providing what seems like insignificant details about your life? Some of the comments mention leaving out address or phone number, but innocent details like what you did that day can fuel a sexual sadists fantasy where this would allow them to fantasise about how and when they would/could commit an offence. Providing fully clothed pics instead of nude ones? Well done, now they know what you look like and this can also fuel a desire for sexual violence. Oh but they are serving life in prison? Not to worry, it's just the prison staff and civilian staff that you've now put at risk

 

[catcat94]

After reading the posts about jury duty, and volunteering for it... how does one apply for that?

 

[ProphecyGirl]

I'd also advise caution. I did work with offenders and whilst occasionally you would get the odd person who did end up due to making poor decisions and were able to turn it round, it's a very small number. Before the poster who likes to say people shouldn't work in the job unless they believed in rehabilitation, I ended up leaving because I really wanted to make a difference and for the vast majority they didn't want me to make a difference. I had two cases that did turn their lives around, the rest enjoyed offending or were so institutionalised it was difficult to get them away.

Grooming is very difficult to spot. We would have regular supervisions with our manager to ensure that we weren't being groomed. Do you have support you can discuss the relationship with so they can keep an eye out for you? Please don't think you are immune to it, I mean this from a place of caring as I've seen it happen a few times. One such caseI remember was a dv case that was in prison for drug use. He had a partner who had started out as a pen pal and formed a relationship with her. She ended up bankrupt, abused and very hostile when we tried to help her by preventing him moving back. She was a really well educated person who ended up giving up her career and family for this man. Who eventually left her for a new woman. Just be very careful please.

Thank you so much for the advice it’s appreciated. I will take all of this on board thank you!
A shame that happens to the girl it sounds awful

 

[ProphecyGirl]

Out of curiosity,

you make “friends” with this prisoner, under the impression they were wrongly accused or that they’re rehabilitated.

they seem normal and nothing shady goes on, it’s just a friendship and that’s that.

5 years down the line, after release, you find out they stabbed a 75 year old woman to death, or raped and killed a girlfriend, or hurt a child.

how would you (or anyone) feel that you offered them friendship.

I have researched their crime. Google and the court case so that wouldn’t happen.

You are quite right if you take every question stand alone, but when you look at their posting history (see the death penalty thread) then you might wonder about their motives. Not being snarky, just worried about the OP.

Why would you need to worry about me? My opinion on the death penalty was in reference to the likes of Ian Huntley and people who rape children and so on. Not your average Joe who robbed a store at 19
There is no motive behind this

 

[catcat94]

This is a really interesting thread!

I'm a huge true crime enthusiast and from my reading/ podcast listening I know that I could never write to someone in jail, lots of offenders have sad backgrounds which is awful but for me that doesn't negate the crimes they have committed. I also don't think if i did ever do it I would be doing it for the right reasons - it would be morbid curiosity for me.

For the people who are writing to inmates now and the OP what is it you're hoping to achieve or what's your ideal outcome? I don't mean that in a judgy way at all, I'm genuinely interested in what you'd be getting out of the relationship?

What podcasts do you listen to? wouldn’t mind listening to some!

 

[ProphecyGirl]

Night stalker was a huge hit with serial killer groupies. He married one but she divorced him after finding out that one of his victims had been a child. Because the sick shit he'd done apart from that was OK

Yeah I watched part of the documentary and remember him having a huge following. But then look at Charles Manson, though he started the cult and they did the dirty work, some women and men are attracted to people like that.
It's wrong but it's interesting

 

[rebremm99]

This thread is so interesting! When I was younger, I was obsessed with reading about prisons in places like Thailand and Indonesia, like Bang Kwang and Kerobokan etc. I used to look up any westerners who were detained there, out of morbid curiosity, and found that they got a lot of people writing to them and sometimes tourists visiting them with care packages etc. I thought about writing to a young English guy banged up in Bangkok for importing drugs because I felt sorry for him, I read he had learning difficulties and got something like 99 year sentence. But decided against it in the end and stopped caring about those prisons. This thread has just reminded me of it now!
Now that I’m older, no chance I’d write to a prisoner. I’d be terrified they’d have my address and come looking for me or something lol. No offense intended to OP or anybody else who does it.

 

[catcat94]

Have been writing to prisoners since last summer time. There’s not a lot of harm in it. Be careful and only tell them what you want them to know. Don’t see problems with it!

 

[Rockin' Robin]

Basically, if you are a UK national then your National Insurance Number is randomly drawn.

It's a legal requirement to attend and the chances of getting out of it are very slim.

Unless you are rejected before the case begins, like I was. To be fair, I wasn't the only one who wasn't picked.

 

[Lumpfish]

What channel is this on please?

It’s on TLC

 

[ProphecyGirl]

if you look at threads in general that’s how it goes?

you don’t get to control how the conversations go once a thread is active,
65 posts on you can’t decide you don’t like the replies and therefore shut down the conversation, you can choose to ignore the thread if you wish, and it will eventually die off I’m sure.

members are always told think before posting, you might not always like the direction the thread takes.
you're also not the only one talking about corresponding with inmates, it’s not just your thread, so many in advice/general threads seem to do this

its an interesting topic!

I completely understand that and I love a good debate but it seems like it’s no longer advice now. I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts on it but some of the comments I’ve had were uncalled for. Or maybe I am reading it the wrong way. My intentions behind this are good. Maybe I am too nice and naive but I don’t think the comments judging my character are relevant

 

[Notredamn]

This is the second time I’ve seen you being rude to someone on here this week for no reason. I am putting you on ignore. I am all for hearing why people are agasint it but to judge me as a character or to comment what you think is missing in my life is over the line

thank you

 

[Welshgal]

Very interesting topic! I‘m currently studying law and thinking of becoming a criminal defense attorney, if that happens I will have to write to prisoners (obviously) but before then? I‘m not sure if I‘d do it just for the „fun“ of it.
I‘m not even sure if it‘s possible in Germany tbh.