Pregnancy Off Topic #2 Changing lives one Rapid Cool at a time

[Laughalong]

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

 

[watermelon sugar]

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

View attachment 3024177

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

Wtf is that response? Who replies to a picture of a scan like that? What does she even mean “love to see him munching already” so weird! I think the best thing to do now would be cut her off, the way she is treating you is awful!

 

[littlepup]

@Laughalong did she ever have her own kids? If not it could be jealousy?

The postpartum hormones really are hitting hard. Eldest had their first settling in session at school last week (with a parent, but I was still in hospital so husband went with) I was absolutely devastated to have missed it.

This week was the settling in sessions by themselves. I was an absolute emotional wreck dropping them off to the door 🥲 watching them walk in without a care in the world coupled with the attention we get with a twin pushchair was just TOO MUCH.

Yesterday my in laws visited and I ended up crying alone upstairs because I feel so guilty and upset that I haven’t had the time to just hold and appreciate the twins because there is just so much to do. My husband has been on it and really helpful- I mean, the house is a shithole (which is fine) and we are in complete survival mode, but by the time we change, feed, change again, wash up and sterilise the bottles, pump, sort out and feed our eldest, do the washing, attempt to eat/shower etc and tend to everyone’s general needs and appointments, I haven’t managed to just sit and enjoy them.

We’re supposed to be having a garden party as our eldest is turning 4 next weekend and we’ve barely got anything sorted. I just feel so overwhelmed and emotional and broken.

You’ve just reminded me our stay and play is next week and I haven’t even responded!

I’ve always said I can’t even imagine twins, you’re (and OH) a superstar to just be surviving!
The practicalities coupled with with the hormones and emotional side, I can’t imagine anyone thrives at this stage.

That LO went in without a care to me says they’re doing really well. They feel happy and secure and aren’t worried about leaving you and OH with the babies. That’s a huge win!!

I don’t know if you just want to off load or practical ideas so don’t bother with the below if it’s the former. But just know that I’ve only one baby here and I feel like time is slipping away so fast this time and I’m missing it, even with an extra adult in the house, a sleepy baby and the in-laws taking oldest a lot. I haven’t taken the silly milestone pictures or studied every little detail of baby, spent time arranging their clothes or neatly arranging things. I was so looking forward to the baby bubble but it’s not happened. I think it’s really normal second time around when you can’t just sit and soak it up.
We haven’t even had a card or gift outside of family as yet, it’s just life marching on and a totally different experience. Maybe Covid actually helped us by taking the pressure off last time too. Absolutely feel sad it’s not the experience you wanted but beat yourself up or blame yourself xx

Spoiler: Ideas

As for enjoying the babies, as others have said, can the in-laws come and help with the practical side rather than just ‘visit’? Or take oldest out?
Is there anything you can do or outsource on a practical level like give someone a load of washing to do, microwave meals from the tray, extra bottles and a cold water streraliser for less frequent sterilising, cancel extra curricular for a week (they’ll never remember), maybe even a doula for a few days. I mean I have no idea but anything you can save from doing so you can have some 1-1(or 2) time?

Next weekend - Morrisons does trays of sandwiches for not too much money. Can you make it ‘bring a dish’ so everyone contributes and just order a bunch of paper plate and bunting from Amazon?
I know not everyone has the support or resources to just throw money and hands at it but if ever they was a time to ask for help, it’s now.

 

[yankydoo]

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

View attachment 3024177

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

Sorry you’re going through this. It’s not an excuse but maybe your aunt has some sensitivities around pregnancy? In any event, I think you’re doing the right thing by putting some distance in. Sounds like your bf and his family are supportive. Sending you love!

The scan pictures are adorable btw!

 

[raspberryjuice]

I've just put my fave sleepsuit on the baby and now I need to go buy it in all the sizes cos he looks so cute View attachment 3024173

Love this! Where’s it from??
---

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

View attachment 3024177

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

Sorry she’s being so awful. I think you’re doing the right thing by distancing yourself.

Baby Laugh is super cute btw!

 

[Laughalong]

Sorry you’re going through this. It’s not an excuse but maybe your aunt has some sensitivities around pregnancy? In any event, I think you’re doing the right thing by putting some distance in. Sounds like your bf and his family are supportive. Sending you love!

The scan pictures are adorable btw!

@Laughalong did she ever have her own kids? If not it could be jealousy?


You’ve just reminded me our stay and play is next week and I haven’t even responded!

I’ve always said I can’t even imagine twins, you’re (and OH) a superstar to just be surviving!
The practicalities coupled with with the hormones and emotional side, I can’t imagine anyone thrives at this stage.

That LO went in without a care to me says they’re doing really well. They feel happy and secure and aren’t worried about leaving you and OH with the babies. That’s a huge win!!

I don’t know if you just want to off load or practical ideas so don’t bother with the below if it’s the former. But just know that I’ve only one baby here and I feel like time is slipping away so fast this time and I’m missing it, even with an extra adult in the house, a sleepy baby and the in-laws taking oldest a lot. I haven’t taken the silly milestone pictures or studied every little detail of baby, spent time arranging their clothes or neatly arranging things. I was so looking forward to the baby bubble but it’s not happened. I think it’s really normal second time around when you can’t just sit and soak it up.
We haven’t even had a card or gift outside of family as yet, it’s just life marching on and a totally different experience. Maybe Covid actually helped us by taking the pressure off last time too. Absolutely feel sad it’s not the experience you wanted but beat yourself up or blame yourself xx

Spoiler: Ideas

As for enjoying the babies, as others have said, can the in-laws come and help with the practical side rather than just ‘visit’? Or take oldest out?
Is there anything you can do or outsource on a practical level like give someone a load of washing to do, microwave meals from the tray, extra bottles and a cold water streraliser for less frequent sterilising, cancel extra curricular for a week (they’ll never remember), maybe even a doula for a few days. I mean I have no idea but anything you can save from doing so you can have some 1-1(or 2) time?

Next weekend - Morrisons does trays of sandwiches for not too much money. Can you make it ‘bring a dish’ so everyone contributes and just order a bunch of paper plate and bunting from Amazon?
I know not everyone has the support or resources to just throw money and hands at it but if ever they was a time to ask for help, it’s now.

Spoiler

So, I think she does have stuff going on. She’s due to get married in Nov, but I don’t think she’s excited. I think she’s the opposite. He’s coming with two kids, who are both still under 18 and they’re a handful, behavioural problems and also special needs. I think she’s thinking her life isn’t going how she wanted. She doesn’t want to live with them at all, and wants no part in raising them. She’s asked him to postpone the wedding and the answer was no, it’s a destination wedding and it’s booked. So of course what that really spells out, is she doesn’t want the wedding. I think it’s making her lash out at others, because she’s also being really harsh to my sister day to day, where as until this year she had never raised her voice at her once.

I don’t think she knows how to deal with her issue with her fiancé, but at the same time you’re not a hostage in a forced marriage. Call it off if it’s making you that unhappy. It’s also so unfair on those two kids to be so vocal about not wanting any part to do with them and asking her OH to choose. I guess I’m just collateral damage in the situation as she’s projecting onto me

Thank you all as always. I think the 4D scan IS cute . Having to dry my tears now as it’s OH’s grandads birthday and we’re doing a thing for him. Very lucky to have a great side with my in laws.

 

[watermelon sugar]

Spoiler

So, I think she does have stuff going on. She’s due to get married in Nov, but I don’t think she’s excited. I think she’s the opposite. He’s coming with two kids, who are both still under 18 and they’re a handful, behavioural problems and also special needs. I think she’s thinking her life isn’t going how she wanted. She doesn’t want to live with them at all, and wants no part in raising them. She’s asked him to postpone the wedding and the answer was no, it’s a destination wedding and it’s booked. So of course what that really spells out, is she doesn’t want the wedding. I think it’s making her lash out at others, because she’s also being really harsh to my sister day to day, where as until this year she had never raised her voice at her once.

I don’t think she knows how to deal with her issue with her fiancé, but at the same time you’re not a hostage in a forced marriage. Call it off if it’s making you that unhappy. It’s also so unfair on those two kids to be so vocal about not wanting any part to do with them and asking her OH to choose. I guess I’m just collateral damage in the situation as she’s projecting onto me

Thank you all as always. I think the 4D scan IS cute . Having to dry my tears now as it’s OH’s grandads birthday and we’re doing a thing for him. Very lucky to have a great side with my in laws.

Even if that is the case and she has a lot going on, she has no right to make you feel how you’re feeling and to treat you how she has, pregnancy and bringing a baby into the world should be the happiest time of your life and the people closest to you shouldn’t make you feel like tit! Have a good time tonight at your partners Grandads birthday

 

[George01]

Love this! Where’s it from??
---

Sainsburys! £6
I even got it when there 25% off haha. I really need to get more though I just love bright colours

 

[Brewtime87]

@Laughalong I really don't understand why she's behaving like that, there's just no need. It does seem like jealousy of some sort. You didn't even have to send her that scan photo (which is so adorable by the way!), she could have thanked you for sharing and said it was cute rather than the bizarre response she did send. I definitely think a bit of distancing is the best thing for it and hopefully she sees sense by the time baby is born and actively wants to be a part of both yours and babies lives.
Enjoy your Grandads birthday and try to not let her nonsense spoil the day x

 

[Laughalong]

Even if that is the case and she has a lot going on, she has no right to make you feel how you’re feeling and to treat you how she has, pregnancy and bringing a baby into the world should be the happiest time of your life and the people closest to you shouldn’t make you feel like tit! Have a good time tonight at your partners Grandads birthday

@Laughalong I really don't understand why she's behaving like that, there's just no need. It does seem like jealousy of some sort. You didn't even have to send her that scan photo (which is so adorable by the way!), she could have thanked you for sharing and said it was cute rather than the bizarre response she did send. I definitely think a bit of distancing is the best thing for it and hopefully she sees sense by the time baby is born and actively wants to be a part of both yours and babies lives.
Enjoy your Grandads birthday and try to not let her nonsense spoil the day x

A million percent, thank you both. It’s a shame because whilst she burns this bridge with me, I’m not just going to be there waiting again once she decides to be nice again. She’s set us back a lot. Maybe it’s the contrast of her life feeling over whilst mine is beginning too. Think it’s a cop out still, you have to control your own emotions.

The food choices for tonight sound great pregnant me is super excited. Costco sandwich platters and fresh meat and potato pasties from a really nice local pie shop

 

[Elle Woods]

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

View attachment 3024177

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

I’m sorry she’s been so tit! That reply was odd. When I was pregnant I had this moment of realisation where I realised I needed to put myself first, pregnancy is hard enough without the people who you thought you could rely on making it harder. You have to cut crappy people off, don’t allow crappy people to make you feel upset in a time that’s meant to be the most exciting, happiest time of your life. Pregnancy really is a time where you realise who is really there for you and who isn’t, and that hurts. I can’t imagine in your position how it must feel, as you’ve said she’s been your motherly figure so she should be the one person you can rely on, however it sounds like you’ve got a good support network from your bfs side, and im sure you have plenty of good friends too. Try to focus on those who are good to you, don’t allow yourself to waste too much energy on those who aren’t and especially don’t allow them to ruin or put a dampener on any part of your pregnancy!

 

[ellieb123_xo]

Having a very bad day & not really sure why. Keep feeling very tight in my chest and unable to breathe, have to really focus on deep breaths to get back on track. Couldn’t catch my breathe for so long while a few minutes ago that I started crying I was getting so freaked out.

 

[Jellycat369]

Absolutely massive me-rail so will NOT be offended if literally no one replies to this. Truly feeling like utter tit just sat here crying with my OH trying to comfort me

Spoiler: 🫠

I have posted before about my auntie flipping on me since I’ve been pregnant, after essentially playing the role as my mum for my entire life. It started with her being really upset about my lack of want for a baby shower, which she could not get her head around that I don’t feel close to my extended family and basically tried to gaslight me into having “so there’s a reason for the family to get together, and the day isn’t actually about me”. Now I’m hearing from my little sister that she has spoke badly about me none stop for months but my sister hasn’t wanted to say as she didn’t want to hurt me further. Things like “I don’t want to ever be asked to babysit her baby so she can go out.” “All she’s doing is moaning about no one loving her, she needs to go to bed and relax” “Her hormones are so up and down, she’s crying one minute and happy the next”. Not only are they hurtful, they are CATEGORICALLY untrue. I’ve never mentioned ever feeling unloved, nor has she even asked me how I am during this pregnancy at all to even comment on my hormones/mood. She has NO idea how the pregnancy has gone, as she’s never asked which in itself has been so hurtful. I sent her a picture of my 4D scan the other day for her to reply THIS. She then proceeded to say to my little sister “Why would I say her baby is cute because she wants me to? It’s just a baby they all look the same”. Yes you bleeping idiot, they DO all look the same but my god you’d just say it out of politeness as it should excite you to even see a glimpse of what you’d regard as your grandchild. She basically hates me. We’ve had NO falling out. I know that the answer is to now cut her out, it’s just really heartbreaking this is the case. It’s my OH’s side of the family baby shower in two weeks which she is actually invited to - as my “mum” figure but now I need to come up with how to uninvite her, without dobbing my sister in it. I was just going to be quiet and hope she forgot, but now I think she needs uninviting. It doesn’t make sense to literally have a hater there who hates me and an unborn child lol

View attachment 3024177

For context, my sister lives with her. That’s why I can’t just full on kick off, as she’s under 18 and needs the roof over her head. We both haven’t really got our mum in our life, that’s why we’ve grown up with my auntie as our mum.

Going forward, I won’t let her know when I’m in labour, when baby is born and I won’t send pictures. She won’t be asked to meet the baby, and I won’t go over when it’s Christmas. Of course, I’ll be slagged off for all these things too, isolating myself etc but I’m just not going to win. I just feel so devastated to lose my “mum” figure for no reason

That kind of response is the kind of thing I get from my sibling. Not the most helpful thing you want to hear. When I told my mum I was pregnant she turned round and said as long as it was planned she was happy for us. People say the shittiest things without thinking. As for you aunt, do whatever you think is best to protect yourself. If that means she misses out then that's on her. Just because she's not happy in her life doesn't mean she has to go make tit up about you behind your back.

 

[raspberryjuice]

Having a very bad day & not really sure why. Keep feeling very tight in my chest and unable to breathe, have to really focus on deep breaths to get back on track. Couldn’t catch my breathe for so long while a few minutes ago that I started crying I was getting so freaked out.

Do you think it’s panic attacks? If not is it worth calling triage?

 

[yankydoo]

Ended up in a fit of rage and going on long walk with just my phone on me. Blame the husband. But I did manage to have my pamper session and have made an effort for tonight. I’ve not put anything on social media yet about the pregnancy and thought I could get a nice photo with the husband to put on there. Shame we aren’t talking and he’s wearing the most casual outfit and I’m in a dress and heels.

 

[ellieb123_xo]

Do you think it’s panic attacks? If not is it worth calling triage?

I think it might be panic attacks, but I don’t know why. I’m literally just being lazy watching tv & it’s almost like the minute I’m over one, another has started.

 

[Jellycat369]

I think it might be panic attacks, but I don’t know why. I’m literally just being lazy watching tv & it’s almost like the minute I’m over one, another has started.

I get panic attacks and they come out of nowhere. They were definitely worse when I was pregnant. Hope you're okay x

 

[watermelon sugar]

I’m sorry there’s a few of us going through it atm and feeling crappy it’s nice to know we’ve all got each other to talk and rant to

Spoiler: me rail

I think I’m struggling more then I’m letting on. My fellas Nan is seriously ill and they are super close. Like ridiculously close and i don’t know how he will cope when something inevitably happens. He’s been working a lot and going to visit her in hospital which I completely understand and have no problems with but I’m home alone with the 2 kids and it’s hard. I think the baby has colic, the last few evenings she’s been screaming her little tiny head off and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Then my four year is just sat with his hands over his ears not liking the noise. Then I feel guilty. His bedtime is 7pm and he’s obsessed with the time and he knows when it’s bedtime and he keeps saying to me ‘Mummy it’s past my bedtime’ but I’m trying to calm the screaming baby down but he doesn’t quite understand that we don’t follow strict routines now baby is here and when Daddy is in work we will run behind schedule. I just took them up to get oldest ready for bed and he wanted. a story and the baby pooed I said I’ll be right back and he said I’ll wait here, I said don’t go to sleep I’ll read a story; was only gone 5 mins came upstairs he was asleep don’t want him feeling left out. It’s all just so draining being so tired, the baby being hard work and my 4 year old too. Plus with the worries of my partners nan and how he is going to cope. I don’t feel like i can say to my partner I feel like i’m struggling because he always says things like ‘i’d love to be at home all day everyday with the kids you’re so lucky’ Like he just doesn’t understand I feel like i’m moaning about a whole load of nothing and people are dealing with a lot worse but I’m still so down and tired

 

[Bumblebee2019]

Sending you all a lot of love. Sorry it’s so tit for people at the moment! I wish we were all one geographically close support network so we could help each other out.

I’m currently a couch potato and have accepted this is my fate now until this baby decides to be born.

 

[raspberryjuice]

I’m sorry there’s a few of us going through it atm and feeling crappy it’s nice to know we’ve all got each other to talk and rant to

Spoiler: me rail

I think I’m struggling more then I’m letting on. My fellas Nan is seriously ill and they are super close. Like ridiculously close and i don’t know how he will cope when something inevitably happens. He’s been working a lot and going to visit her in hospital which I completely understand and have no problems with but I’m home alone with the 2 kids and it’s hard. I think the baby has colic, the last few evenings she’s been screaming her little tiny head off and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Then my four year is just sat with his hands over his ears not liking the noise. Then I feel guilty. His bedtime is 7pm and he’s obsessed with the time and he knows when it’s bedtime and he keeps saying to me ‘Mummy it’s past my bedtime’ but I’m trying to calm the screaming baby down but he doesn’t quite understand that we don’t follow strict routines now baby is here and when Daddy is in work we will run behind schedule. I just took them up to get oldest ready for bed and he wanted. a story and the baby pooed I said I’ll be right back and he said I’ll wait here, I said don’t go to sleep I’ll read a story; was only gone 5 mins came upstairs he was asleep don’t want him feeling left out. It’s all just so draining being so tired, the baby being hard work and my 4 year old too. Plus with the worries of my partners nan and how he is going to cope. I don’t feel like i can say to my partner I feel like i’m struggling because he always says things like ‘i’d love to be at home all day everyday with the kids you’re so lucky’ Like he just doesn’t understand I feel like i’m moaning about a whole load of nothing and people are dealing with a lot worse but I’m still so down and tired

Sorry your OH’s Nan is ill. That’s got to be tough for you all on top of everything else.
Can you try baby on comfort milk to see if that helps with the colic? Within 2-3 bottles Baby R was much better with his. It worked a lot better for him than the anti colic stuff like dentinox or colief which just make him sicky if we use them more than 1 or 2 bottles a day. Because it’s thicker milk it doesn’t get bubbly when you make it so they don’t ingest so many bubbles.
I know your OH is busy with work and his Nan but could he take baby for a couple of hours over the weekend so you have some 1:1 time with Bigger Melon? Sounds like you’d both benefit from that time 🩵

Sending lots of love to everyone who needs it this weekend