We actually have some melatonin that we bought in America last year , I’ve been too scared to take it as Google is vague . I have a midwife appointment next week and it’s on my list to ask her about if it’s safe to take . It’s in my bedside drawer taunting me
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The midwives, god love them as the majority are saints and there isnt anything they can do but I wanted to headbutt mine when she said 'your body is just preparing for the baby and the sleepless nights he will bring' 
no Janet, get me some sort of magic sleep smoke!
no Janet, get me some sort of magic sleep smoke! 
It's absolutely ridiculous really, and I say that as someone who has seen both sides as patient and clinician. If for some reason they refuse/won't refer you on, please go straight to the hospitals PALs department. I know you shouldn't have too but that really gets things moving!Thanks so much - more explaining what I thought I had already made clear - will prepare my notes
Yeah, I don’t know what the answer is and I think it might be a midwife lottery as to if they know or not but it’s worth asking!
Honestly? Midwifery aside from the birth bit just seems to be a lot of gaslightingThe midwives, god love them as the majority are saints and there isnt anything they can do but I wanted to headbutt mine when she said 'your body is just preparing for the baby and the sleepless nights he will bring'
I had a lot of ‘you’re fine’ in the lead up to birth and after birth. After birth I was -not- fine. Pre birth I mostly was ok but it would have been nice if my feelings/emotions/exhaustion had just been acknowledged rather than finding ‘DragName says she is well and looks ok’ over and over in my Badger notes.Melatonin crosses the placenta and can affect the developing circadian rhythm and while it is potentially safe, it hasn't been researched any where near enough to give a definitive answer so is usually best avoided. If your insomnia is severe then your doctor may weigh up the pros and cons and think its safer for you to take the lowest dose versus getting no sleep.
Hi all - not sure if this is the right place to post. Will delete if not!
I'm 31, found out I'm pregnant 10 days ago. I'm 5+4 today. My husband and I are deciding what to do next as this is an unplanned pregnancy. We've been married 6 months; I work a stable job with decent pay, he works a day rate.
Financially, we can afford a baby without really compromising our savings goals to buy a house.
However, the emotional side is another matter. I come from a big extended family who are largely supportive (give or take the requisite drama!). My husband comes from a very small family where his father was distant and eventually abandoned the family, his mother is mentally unstable and abused him, and his brother is codependent with their mum. My husband's parents were estranged from their own families. My husband has recently (in the last 2 months) made the decision to estranged himself from his mother and brother due their ongoing abusive treatment towards him.
I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy, as my parents thought they couldn't have kids. Very much wanted and loved. My husband was planned, his brother unplanned, and obviously has a difficult relationship with 'family.'
When I found out I was pregnant, he looked shellshocked and petrified. I rushed to say we could terminate without thinking about my feelings, but we've spoken lots since and I feel excited and curious about the experience of pregnancy and being a mother. My husband feels no connection to this pregnancy, a serious concern for my health, and he feels like it's too soon.
I have poor fertility due to health issues in my early 20s, which is another consideration for us.
All of this to ask if there's anyone here who's been in a similar situation or had a partner who weren't immediately connected to their pregnancy?
Right now, my husband has said he would continue the pregnancy to make me happy, and I've asked him to think for a few days about how that would actually make him feel.
I'm 31, found out I'm pregnant 10 days ago. I'm 5+4 today. My husband and I are deciding what to do next as this is an unplanned pregnancy. We've been married 6 months; I work a stable job with decent pay, he works a day rate.
Financially, we can afford a baby without really compromising our savings goals to buy a house.
However, the emotional side is another matter. I come from a big extended family who are largely supportive (give or take the requisite drama!). My husband comes from a very small family where his father was distant and eventually abandoned the family, his mother is mentally unstable and abused him, and his brother is codependent with their mum. My husband's parents were estranged from their own families. My husband has recently (in the last 2 months) made the decision to estranged himself from his mother and brother due their ongoing abusive treatment towards him.
I was the result of an unplanned pregnancy, as my parents thought they couldn't have kids. Very much wanted and loved. My husband was planned, his brother unplanned, and obviously has a difficult relationship with 'family.'
When I found out I was pregnant, he looked shellshocked and petrified. I rushed to say we could terminate without thinking about my feelings, but we've spoken lots since and I feel excited and curious about the experience of pregnancy and being a mother. My husband feels no connection to this pregnancy, a serious concern for my health, and he feels like it's too soon.
I have poor fertility due to health issues in my early 20s, which is another consideration for us.
All of this to ask if there's anyone here who's been in a similar situation or had a partner who weren't immediately connected to their pregnancy?
Right now, my husband has said he would continue the pregnancy to make me happy, and I've asked him to think for a few days about how that would actually make him feel.
@f0xmulder first of all, sending hugs! It is a huge moment whether you’re planning, trying or it just happens out of the blue and it’s totally valid to have lots of different emotions. You don’t have to answer but - Before you got married did you talk about kids much? What do you on a personal level want and where do kids sit in that? Did your husband see you having children at any point?
You’ve got the benefit of finding out early on, and the other added benefit that you’re with someone you love who obviously cares for you and your wellbeing. 10 days is very early days to take on this news particularly if you weren’t expecting it.
I must admit, with my first we weren‘t preventing but we were shocked at how fast it happened and it took me a good long time to get my head around being pregnant and how my life was going to change. 3.5 years on and toddlerWC is my whole world.
The way I describe having kids to my friends who aren’t sure - before we had ToddlerWC, our life was comfortable and safe. We could’ve carried on the same path, no issues and we’d have had a lovely life together. But having him added extra to our life, it didn’t take it away. It’s like having an extra room unlocked that gives you access to so much more (but also sometimes punches you in the face, because lets not lie and say it’s easy having kids, they have an uncanny knack of pushing all your buttons!).
You’ve got the benefit of finding out early on, and the other added benefit that you’re with someone you love who obviously cares for you and your wellbeing. 10 days is very early days to take on this news particularly if you weren’t expecting it.
I must admit, with my first we weren‘t preventing but we were shocked at how fast it happened and it took me a good long time to get my head around being pregnant and how my life was going to change. 3.5 years on and toddlerWC is my whole world.
The way I describe having kids to my friends who aren’t sure - before we had ToddlerWC, our life was comfortable and safe. We could’ve carried on the same path, no issues and we’d have had a lovely life together. But having him added extra to our life, it didn’t take it away. It’s like having an extra room unlocked that gives you access to so much more (but also sometimes punches you in the face, because lets not lie and say it’s easy having kids, they have an uncanny knack of pushing all your buttons!).
Ah I had some excellent midwives with the last two! Can't comment really on this pregnancy, first one left, second went on mat leave and I've not met the third as yet 
my last labour midwife was about 60 and I adored her!
my last labour midwife was about 60 and I adored her!Honestly? Midwifery aside from the birth bit just seems to be a lot of gaslighting
Hey guys hope you and your bumps are doing well! Quick question I’m now 16 weeks and the last few nights I’ve had what I think could be flutters but they are quite low down like in my Pubic bone area.. could this be baby moving
Or do I just need a big fart. It feels like bubbling almost but I just expected to feel
Movements in my tummy and not lower down! Sorry if it sounds silly it’s my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I’m just super heightened to feel every sensation lol.
Or do I just need a big fart
. It feels like bubbling almost but I just expected to feelMovements in my tummy and not lower down! Sorry if it sounds silly it’s my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I’m just super heightened to feel every sensation lol.
Sounds like it could be movements! I think it’s later in pregnancy that there is more of the baby higher up in the abdomen type area and it charmingly budges all your organs up to fit!Hey guys hope you and your bumps are doing well! Quick question I’m now 16 weeks and the last few nights I’ve had what I think could be flutters but they are quite low down like in my Pubic bone area.. could this be baby moving
Or do I just need a big fart
Movements in my tummy and not lower down! Sorry if it sounds silly it’s my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I’m just super heightened to feel every sensation lol.
Thank you! I did see midwife today and she said sounds like flutters but I don’t know if it’s in my head however this is the third night I’ve had this feeling now! X
yes baby will still be quite low in the pelvis at 16 weeks, that’s why I realised what I was feeling was baby moving due to where I could feel itHey guys hope you and your bumps are doing well! Quick question I’m now 16 weeks and the last few nights I’ve had what I think could be flutters but they are quite low down like in my Pubic bone area.. could this be baby moving
Or do I just need a big fart
Movements in my tummy and not lower down! Sorry if it sounds silly it’s my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I’m just super heightened to feel every sensation lol.
Mines felt like bubbles!! I kept describing to my partner as an older water cooler and the bubbles in that is what it felt likeHey guys hope you and your bumps are doing well! Quick question I’m now 16 weeks and the last few nights I’ve had what I think could be flutters but they are quite low down like in my Pubic bone area.. could this be baby moving
Or do I just need a big fart
Movements in my tummy and not lower down! Sorry if it sounds silly it’s my first pregnancy and I don’t know if I’m just super heightened to feel every sensation lol.
Hello lovely 🩷
I was 27 when I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant with my son . My partner (now my husband) and I were completely shell shocked . I was on the pill , we had only just moved into our first home , and it wasn’t on the cards at all . Financially we’d just wiped ourselves out buying our first home and not where we’d wanted to be at all . Whilst I was excited and had always wanted to be a mum , my husband was very nervous and stressed coming to terms with it and working out how we’d be able to afford it
but eventually he calmed down , came around , and was the most supportive partner . After the first scan was when things really changed for him , he saw that little baby in there and told me something flipped in his brain and he didn’t know how we’d do it but he vowed we absolutely would do it for that little baby . And we have ! My son turns 7 in a few weeks and I am pregnant with our third and final baby .
our family has complications too . My husband has a difficult relationship with his father , and also his brother . And I find his mother completely overbearing ! I wonder if that and his unhappy childhood gave him more anxiety than me in those early weeks of my first pregnancy
but as you can see we’ve gone on to have one more child and now another is on the way , and neither of us would trade being parents for anything . I won’t lie to you , it has its challenging days , but it is worth it . As one poster above me said , it’s an enhancement to your life you never thought was possible . I always say to people that our lives before were like a delicious meal and having a baby was like having dessert . We didn’t need to have it , and we probably would’ve been okay without it , but my god it was so delicious and enhanced the meal in so many ways that it was absolutely worth the extra money and the slight momentary , tummy ache
it is so nerve wracking for so many reasons when you find out you’re expecting your first , especially if it wasn’t planned , but I wouldn’t change how my life has worked out for anything 🩷
The rise in C sections is huge - something like 40 - 45% of all births are C sections now (whether elective or not). I’ve only heard positive things about elective C sections though so carry on advocating for yourself! It might be useful to have something written down?It’s my first and that makes sense about the pressure they’re under as I’ve heard on repeat from my midwife the statistics of c sections increasing. I’m just finding it frustrating with repeating myself and the reasons, then having a label of being fearful of childbirth when my reasons aren’t related to that and them ignoring placing things on my notes (I’ve been offered the flu jab 3 times despite my notes stating I have an egg allergy). I’ll just be prepared to explain again - at this rate this has been the worst part of being pregnant
How mad do we think my husband is going to be when he finishes work and sees I’ve run out of steam about 1/4 of the way through sorting out the back bedroom (where we’re putting the next to me)… after I‘ve got everything out of the boxes and emptied the airing cupboard onto the landing floor 
40 weeks today and no sign of her coming any time soon. I’m so tired and so ready for her to arrive! Little Parsley was born 2 days before his due date so I think we sort of all thought she would be here by now so it feels like she’s overdue. Trying to enjoy this “bonus” time with my 2 year old but I’m so wiped and he’s so energetic it’s hard!
Just ordered £50 worth of storage from Amazon.How mad do we think my husband is going to be when he finishes work and sees I’ve run out of steam about 1/4 of the way through sorting out the back bedroom (where we’re putting the next to me)… after I‘ve got everything out of the boxes and emptied the airing cupboard onto the landing floor
When I did that with my first, he arrived 5 days later
Thank you for replying!!
Before we got married, we both agreed we wanted children. My husband has always said that (money no object!) he saw himself as one day being the father to a wonderful little tribe. So one of those guys who wants a whole football team! I've also always wanted children.
I feel like the perspective you shared is really interesting and reassuring. My husband feels that he wishes we had more time to be a young couple with no obligations except to ourselves - he's mentioned travel, for example, although that's not been financially feasible and feels like a bit of a distant ideal with the current geopolitics! I've heard elsewhere that, if you wanted children, you'll always wish for more time with them. Which I can totally understand. I think my husband is worried about how the baby might change our lives and relationship. However, he is really engaging with what's happened and has found a therapist, and even mentioned babyproofing the kitchen to me!
My main concern is just the impact on him if he's trying to convince himself and never really has his own sense of excitement to become a parent.