Pregnancy #65

[LockdownLurker2020]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

In the nicest possible way tell her to duck off its not about her or her feelings or visiting your new beautiful baba. Its about YOU, your feelings and your beautiful little family everyone else outside of that can get in line and wait until you are ready.

Thats what done my head in when i had my babies everyone expecting to come round and be waited on hand and foot steamrolling in with grabby hands to hold the baby

ps youve got this mama, you’re gonna do great!

 

[lilykestrel]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

(Assuming this is the sister of your OH) can you hand over to them as this feels like their boundary to enforce and you've got enough going on without having to worry about a sibling that isn't your sibling being unreasonable

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

I know it’s easy for me to say but you CAN put your foot down about this. It’s unhinged behaviour on her part. When my SIL had her baby, we literally lived around the corner from the hospital. She asked us to wait till she said we could go visit so we did, and I didn’t think anything was rude by her doing that in the slightest. Mind you, I’m aware we were the only ones in the family to actually do as she said! Maybe that was made easier by our proximity but irrespective, I was not going to go against her wishes.

There is a big family event around the time I am due so we are obviously missing it, but it does at least keep most of the family occupied to allow us to just process the massive change that’s about to happen in our lives. Other family are close enough that it can be a short visit, no staying and no imposing themselves.

 

[clmay]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

I’d say it’s been delayed (which could happen anyway! Mine was delayed due to labour ward being too busy). Then tell her baby has been born when you’re ready!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

Had an eventful arrival at the hotel. Our transfer to the hotel took a while and it was hot and I'd only (only pfftt) had a bacon roll and a Kind bar in the airport / on the plane and then we were sat in the lobby of the hotel waiting to be checked in and I was laaaaaagging and starting to feel very unwell and a lady was like "are you alright I have some paracetamol in my handbag" and I'm like "I'm fine I'm just pregnant and hungry but you are lovely" then we got a lift in a golf buggy to our room and he was whizzing along and poor porter, he was trying to welcome us to our room but I just had to practically elbow him out the way to go and stick my head down the loo
Anyway there's a supermarket round the corner and I've come away with a bag of various snack packs of salted crackers and houmous and nuts because even though I'm on an all inclusive I'm not risking not having my bag snacky snacks again

The need for snacks is immense! When I used to go on holiday I would have breakfast, rarely have any lunch, eat basically no snacks then have my dinner. My last holiday? Massive breakfast, bag of Lays by the pool (not the whole bag but only because they are huge bags!), lunch every day without fail, more Lays in the afternoon, dinner promptly for the start of dinner service. Usually a small snack back in the room before bed. It was non stop

 

[HankMcPrank]

18 weeks 5 days, baby is so healthy.
Facing my back little monkey!
What do you think xx

 

[Keera]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

I know you’ve seen my posts on the MIL thread so you know my ILs are crazy overbearing - let people do what they want. IE tell them your plans, wishes and where you will be - if they forge ahead in taking leave and turning up places they haven’t been invited then it is on them
The last few months of constant visits or demands to be at xyz place at xyz time with a newborn have sent me round the bend. I then had an epiphany that I could just calmly tell people what is happening. If they turn up and no one is in or the baby is sleep with me upstairs (and they’ve had plenty notice of this) then that is not my concern. We have had a few disappointed phone calls and sulks but finally the message has gone through.
Really your husband should be taking the helm and explaining you don’t have a solid date of delivery despite the induction and because of the complication of GD you’ll need extra monitoring so don’t know if you’ll have visitors at the hospital. Repeat repeat repeat - pleasantly of course . If she then takes the leave and shows at the hospital without you either having the baby or being ready to see her then that’s up to her. You have no obligation to anyone except baby mama xx

 

[indeedjoy]

18 weeks 5 days, baby is so healthy.
Facing my back little monkey!
What do you think xx

Have you got a full scan picture?

 

[indeedjoy]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

I think you need to tell them or your OH needs to say you will have visitors when you are ready. I find it BIZZARE people would just impose and not even consider your feelings

unless she’s turning up to make you 3 meals a day, clean the house, do some washing and drinks on tap please go away

 

[Shinythings]

Baby ShinyThings arrived late Friday night at home when we had the huge thunderstorm in the South East. Eerily, body was born as there was an almighty thunderclap that set off loads of car alarms. Hopefully not some sort of omen! Birth was lovely and straightforward and no complications after.

Turns out the girl I was having. Would have bet my house on it. Was absolutely convinced I was having was a boy! Goes to show Mum's instinct isn't always right.

I'm going to hang out here for a bit as you've all been such a huge support and want to see the babies born to others here!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Baby ShinyThings arrived late Friday night at home when we had the huge thunderstorm in the South East. Eerily, body was born as there was an almighty thunderclap that set off loads of car alarms. Hopefully not some sort of omen! Birth was lovely and straightforward and no complications after.

Turns out the girl I was having. Would have bet my house on it. Was absolutely convinced I was having was a boy! Goes to show Mum's instinct isn't always right.

I'm going to hang out here for a bit as you've all been such a huge support and want to see the babies born to others here!

Please call him Thor!!! What wonderful news and congratulations on your new arrival. Well done Mum - sounds like you had a really lovely birth

 

[Hinchhater1442]

My SIL is planning to come up 2 days after my induction… I don’t even know if baby will be out by then?! And they’ve already said they want to monitor us for 24 hours after due to my GD.

I could actually cry. She’s steamrolling the conversation and saying “I’ve booked leave for days X and Y” and really not giving me a chance. I don’t know what to do. I just want to relax before my induction and now I feel stressed that she’s going to turn up at the hospital and we can’t turn her away

I could preach all the things I know I wouldn’t do because I’m too awkward so… LIE

if you’re still in the hospital, sorry no visitors allowed!! - when I was on the ward after my c section I said oh sorry I’m not on the ward bit where they allow visitors yet (lie) (to back this up you could say to staff not to speak to anyone that calls up regarding your being there - it’s quite normal for them)

if they ask to visit - sorry we have a midwife/health visitor appt at that time! Mine were always only around 20 mins but sometimes you take the chance to get out/grab a bit of lunch so you can avoid them if needed.

we had a few occasions where people turned up uninvited - saw them on the ring door bell so we’d either a) not answer, then message to apologise later that we were all napping or b) I’d run upstairs with baby and my husband would answer in really hushed tones to shhhh as we were upstairs finally asleep after a rough night. Those people often felt too awkward to stay long / didn’t want to stay if they couldn’t see the baby!

We also must have had newborn shoots/baby registering days about 5 times over if we wanted reasons to be unavailable for a good chunk of the day.

it is annoying but I did find people wouldn’t pester too much, even the persistent people. If we’d said no for the day that was generally accepted. Also (something I never thought when pregnant) I sometimes preferred offering to meet people out/going to theirs. I thought I’d want to be cosy at home but it was nice to get out sometimes and I liked having control of when I could leave as sometimes people can outstay their welcome in your home! We’d pass it off as oh we’ve been stuck inside for 24hrs now so would love to get out, we’ll come to you!

That’s a ramble haha but I hope it helps someone!!

 

[Scorpihoe]

Thank you so much for the advice I put my foot down (and repeated many times), that 2 days after my induction is not feasible. I most likely will still be in the hospital. I’ve asked her to come at a later date, unfortunately it took a lot of back and forth (why won’t she take the hint?! I’m being induced tomorrow the last thing I want is to debate with you on when you can visit!). She has reluctantly agreed.

my OH didn’t talk it out with her because he said I should talk to her and tell her when I’m ready for visitors, depending on when that is. I was so close to involving him and telling him to put his foot down with her!

 

[calabazarock]

I still find it hard to believe how people are like this. You need peace and quiet at this moment, no discussion over this tit *sigh* hope everything goes well with yout induction

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

Thank you so much for the advice I put my foot down (and repeated many times), that 2 days after my induction is not feasible. I most likely will still be in the hospital. I’ve asked her to come at a later date, unfortunately it took a lot of back and forth (why won’t she take the hint?! I’m being induced tomorrow the last thing I want is to debate with you on when you can visit!). She has reluctantly agreed.

my OH didn’t talk it out with her because he said I should talk to her and tell her when I’m ready for visitors, depending on when that is. I was so close to involving him and telling him to put his foot down with her!

Sorry but that’s a bit tit of your OH. He’s meant to be your advocate. But at least it’s been resolved for now and I think just put a pin in and focus on your indication and manifest a wonderful labour for you and little one

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I’ve really got in my own head about movements. I’ve convinced myself movements are reduced but if I concentrate I can feel them. This is far from ideal and I don’t want to spend the rest of my pregnancy being really anxious about this. Does this get easier to manage?

I have a major day planned today, but I’m going to appraise the situation through the morning and see how much he’s bopping about. I had a proper angry meltdown a week or so ago and he was very active after that, but has quietened down since and it’s got me all kinds of anxious that my pregnancy hormone outburst has ruined things.

 

[HankMcPrank]

Have you got a full scan picture?

Nounfortunately as baby was facing my back.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

I’ve really got in my own head about movements. I’ve convinced myself movements are reduced but if I concentrate I can feel them. This is far from ideal and I don’t want to spend the rest of my pregnancy being really anxious about this. Does this get easier to manage?

I have a major day planned today, but I’m going to appraise the situation through the morning and see how much he’s bopping about. I had a proper angry meltdown a week or so ago and he was very active after that, but has quietened down since and it’s got me all kinds of anxious that my pregnancy hormone outburst has ruined things.

I’m feeling exactly this today. Little muff has been a bit quieter but I was relatively active yesterday so I’m trying not to overthink things. I also don’t feel “as pregnant” - but maybe little one just did more growing last week and is having a chiller time. Ugh it’s all so annoying. Just let me enjoy this

 

[Scorpihoe]

Sorry but that’s a bit tit of your OH. He’s meant to be your advocate. But at least it’s been resolved for now and I think just put a pin in and focus on your indication and manifest a wonderful labour for you and little one

My OH is more of a pushover than I am, he would have given in to her if she demanded hard enough! But I’m not letting her ruin my postpartum experience. She’ll just have to wait till I’m ready

we’re in the hospital now for our induction! I’m so so nervous and excited 🥹 I wish I bought something to keep me occupied, I’m just playing games on my phone

 

[Thatsnotmyname123]

What are some good snacks to keep in your handbag? I’ve started getting a crazy hunger, I can be fine, head out and 10 mins later I feel starving and must eat! Not too bad at home but I need to keep some food on me for when I am in work or travelling. Small individual packets of snacks is what I am thinking, nothing that will melt or go bad.