Pregnancy #65

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I had the meltdown to end all meltdowns after the call. It's not so much the call (although I'm pissed off at being the Friday afternoon last call of the shift so she clearly wanted to get off the phone and I was so bamboozled I didn't ask what I wanted to and I couldn't call them back) or the pre eclampsia worry, cos if it is that we'll handle it, my screening blood test came back low risk.

It's more I'm worried that stress is starting to affect me physically. The work situation I've posted about before isn't abating. It kind of ebbs and flows, interim intervention means manager backs off for a week or so but then starts to ramp up again. And I'm always on edge that she's going to do something like humiliate me in front of the team in a meeting again.

Spoiler

I thought senior management and HR were supportive but then they manoeuvred me into having a stress risk assessment meeting with horrid manager/seniorest manager/HR without union support present (it was either have the meeting when my union rep couldn't come or have to wait three weeks. And part of the meeting was to negotiate reasonable adjustments that manager previously refused to implement, so I was snookered). Meeting was horrid. Just gaslighting and unchallenged ableism from manager and seniorest denying knowledge of things I'd disclosed and saying things like "I know it's hard to be rational and objective about these things" when I'm visibly tearful.

Union rep is furious and got HR and me in a room and said this is bullying and they're lucky I don't go to grievance or worse, she's pregnant, sort it bleeping out, but HR now keep kicking the can down the road and postponing meetings or not providing updates and I'm just so worn down by it. Worse is HR woman ends every email with "hope you and baby are doing well!" And it makes me want to scream.

Thank you for letting me ramble, it's just all feeling like it's on top of me and I think I might just say duck it and go doctors on Monday. Obstetrician floated that I should.

Nothing in the world is more important than your health and wellbeing right now, and therefore by extension the baby’s health and wellbeing. No job is worth the hassle, no matter what. Say duck it and go to the Drs for sure.

It’s absolutely ok to ask the midwives not to breadcrumb you with weird tit like this call on Friday as well. My first midwife kind of did this (to a lesser extent) and I didn’t like it at all. She is on mat leave herself now so I have someone new who doesn’t do that sort of stuff which is a relief.

 

[opintionatedperson]

Feeling so sorry for myself , I hate the first trimester. I'm miserable and such a low mood. I'm grateful of course but it's so hard

 

[Thatsnotmyname123]

I’m coming up to 16 weeks and so exhausted. I had flu last week so I don’t know if it’s a hang over from that or just pregnancy but haven’t been this tired before.

 

[lilykestrel]

I’m coming up to 16 weeks and so exhausted. I had flu last week so I don’t know if it’s a hang over from that or just pregnancy but haven’t been this tired before.

Weeks 15/16/17 I really crashed out. 18 I felt a fair bit better. Think baby is doing a lot of growing those weeks? And flu always takes longer than you think to loosen it's grip, I'm not surprised you're wiped! Hope you feel more normal soon.

 

[amarantine]

Feeling so sorry for myself , I hate the first trimester. I'm miserable and such a low mood. I'm grateful of course but it's so hard

Week 10 for me was the absolute worst, I think that’s when the placenta starts to take over (there or thereabouts anyway!) and I just felt so sick and exhausted - but that only lasted a couple of weeks for me and then started to get better, hope it does for you too! I’m 21 weeks now and as this thread shows been agonising over baby’s movements and how often I feel them - so whilst I feel really good in myself now I am constantly anxious feel physically fine though so hope the same happens for you, hang in there!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

It was about weeks 16-18 that I came out of the extreme tiredness and started to be able to manage my nausea. I distinctly remember seeing a TikTok of a woman much much further along asking opinions on when she should start her mat leave and me thinking ‘I’m 9 weeks pregnant and I would start now if I could’! But at the time, it felt kind of endless!

 

[opintionatedperson]

Week 10 for me was the absolute worst, I think that’s when the placenta starts to take over (there or thereabouts anyway!) and I just felt so sick and exhausted - but that only lasted a couple of weeks for me and then started to get better, hope it does for you too! I’m 21 weeks now and as this thread shows been agonising over baby’s movements and how often I feel them - so whilst I feel really good in myself now I am constantly anxious feel physically fine though so hope the same happens for you, hang in there!

Its all phases through the pregnancy, I know the start for me is by far the worst as I'm just in full survival mode. Pregnancy doesn't suit me but the babies at the end do

 

[Ahbebowgfa]

37 weeks today and I’m just so over it. I am constantly miserable, have no patience with anyone which makes me feel like such a bad mum to my toddler and wife to my husband. I’m anxious about EVERYTHING. Still don’t feel prepared practically for this baby and have so much to do but never have any energy to do any of it. I’m just physically and mentally drained.

 

[ahtisyourself]

We have had the same pram suggested to us in a few different shops we’ve tried so I’m taking it as a sign that it’s the right fit for us! It’s the Joolz hub 2 if anyone has any experience with one or advice on them! We’re going to go with the travel bundle which has the maxi cosi car seat that reclines in the car so the little one can (hopefully) chill and will (hopefully) transfer over easier to the stroller. Now if I could only win the lotto over the next few months this would be ideal 🫣

 

[lilykestrel]

We've ended up going with a sale bundle (pram plus gubbins, car seat, car seat base) of the one we picked off UK Baby Centre because all in it's only about £100-£200 more than if we were to get a secondhand pram and then go and find car seat and base. And no longer have to faff around sending "is this available?" messages and getting back "no sorry" (take the ad down then!!!!) and/or drive somewhere

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

We've ended up going with a sale bundle (pram plus gubbins, car seat, car seat base) of the one we picked off UK Baby Centre because all in it's only about £100-£200 more than if we were to get a secondhand pram and then go and find car seat and base. And no longer have to faff around sending "is this available?" messages and getting back "no sorry" (take the ad down then!!!!) and/or drive somewhere

Yeah, MrDragName won on the new v second hand and tbh the argument was valid. The system I really wanted was only released this yet so second hand basically doesn’t exist yet. My second fave does but there was always something that didn’t come in the bundle that I’d have to go get specifically and that combined with a new car seat and base made it pointless. In the end we completely lucked out that when we went to the big pram place they were price matching somewhere else for both the travel system we were after and the bedside cot thing, so everything cost a bit less than we expected, phew!

 

[amarantine]

On Saturday I had my first proper panic about not feeling movement for 24 hours so off we went to get checked out - all fine and was just being a bit paranoid but it meant we didn’t get to bed until 3am. I spent all of yesterday packing up our house to move in a couple of weeks. I clearly very naively thought a late night triage and check up followed by a day of packing might mean I’d sleep all night last night, but nope, here’s me awake since 4:30 the insomnia part is absolutely kicking my ass right now but then again I suppose it’s a little taste of what life will look like when baby arrives…

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

On Saturday I had my first proper panic about not feeling movement for 24 hours so off we went to get checked out - all fine and was just being a bit paranoid but it meant we didn’t get to bed until 3am. I spent all of yesterday packing up our house to move in a couple of weeks. I clearly very naively thought a late night triage and check up followed by a day of packing might mean I’d sleep all night last night, but nope, here’s me awake since 4:30 the insomnia part is absolutely kicking my ass right now but then again I suppose it’s a little taste of what life will look like when baby arrives…

The insomnia is rough for sure! Glad all was ok

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

On Saturday I had my first proper panic about not feeling movement for 24 hours so off we went to get checked out - all fine and was just being a bit paranoid but it meant we didn’t get to bed until 3am. I spent all of yesterday packing up our house to move in a couple of weeks. I clearly very naively thought a late night triage and check up followed by a day of packing might mean I’d sleep all night last night, but nope, here’s me awake since 4:30 the insomnia part is absolutely kicking my ass right now but then again I suppose it’s a little taste of what life will look like when baby arrives…

The hardly any sleep thing is a big struggle. It took me ages to fall asleep last night only to wake up at 3am and not go back to sleep until around 5/5:30. I also now have the cold my toddler has had from nursery the last week. So my throat is killing me and I feel meh. Why haven’t they made drugs for pregnant women!!!!! Baby muffet was also quiet when I was on the sofa in the early hours - I really thought I’d be more in tune with my body and have some intuition this time round as it’s my second but I feel like I know my body less and have zero instincts 🫠

 

[amarantine]

The hardly any sleep thing is a big struggle. It took me ages to fall asleep last night only to wake up at 3am and not go back to sleep until around 5/5:30. I also now have the cold my toddler has had from nursery the last week. So my throat is killing me and I feel meh. Why haven’t they made drugs for pregnant women!!!!! Baby muffet was also quiet when I was on the sofa in the early hours - I really thought I’d be more in tune with my body and have some intuition this time round as it’s my second but I feel like I know my body less and have zero instincts 🫠

You also have a toddler with a cold to take care of though - you probably don’t even have 5 minutes to get in tune with your body I hope you (and toddler!) feel better soon, I wish pregnant women could take any sort of medication

I’ve not been struggling to fall asleep too much though I did maybe on Friday? Was just lying awake for ages but partner has a cold and was snoring SO much entirely oblivious! It’s just staying asleep I find hard. I’ve always been a bit like this, never find it too hard to doze off but if I wake up in the night it’s harder to get back to sleep - pregnancy just seems to have exacerbated this tendency I already have so rather than being awake for 20 mins or so it’s 2 hours…

I really am trying not to whine too much as relatively speaking I’ve had a really easy time but I’m so tired!!

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

You also have a toddler with a cold to take care of though - you probably don’t even have 5 minutes to get in tune with your body I hope you (and toddler!) feel better soon, I wish pregnant women could take any sort of medication

I’ve not been struggling to fall asleep too much though I did maybe on Friday? Was just lying awake for ages but partner has a cold and was snoring SO much entirely oblivious! It’s just staying asleep I find hard. I’ve always been a bit like this, never find it too hard to doze off but if I wake up in the night it’s harder to get back to sleep - pregnancy just seems to have exacerbated this tendency I already have so rather than being awake for 20 mins or so it’s 2 hours…

I really am trying not to whine too much as relatively speaking I’ve had a really easy time but I’m so tired!!

Whine away! It’s tough! Sometimes we just need a big old whinge and stuff feels a bit better.

 

[lilykestrel]

I'll join the whinge club. Currently waiting for midwives to call me back after mystery "call them, say you need to do bloods BP and pee!" call on Friday. You have to ring the community hospital and leave a message with reception who pass it on and get them to ring you back. When Jean Paul Sartre said "hell is other people", he clearly hadn't sat waiting for a NHS ring back

 

[lilykestrel]

Oh for goodness sake my bloods were fine, they just wanted to do them again to make sure they were fine again WHY WOULD YOU NOT SAY THAT

 

[lilykestrel]

I am having a ridiculous morning

8.30am Ring community hospital and leave message to speak to midwife
11.30am Midwife calls me back. But they only have appointments in X town which is a PITA for me to get to from Y town. So she suggests I call the hospital and see if the unit there can have me in
11.35am Call unit at hospital. Number out of service.
11.36am Call Maternity Unit. Ask them to put me through. Can't put you through, we'll internal ring them and ask them to call you back
11.45am first unit calls me back. Person on phone says I should NOT have been told to call them. When I say but it was first suggested I come to you, NO I'VE JUST ASKED MY MANAGER AND SHE SAID NO. You need to speak to your midwives and ask them to refer you to a different unit first.
11.48am Ring community hospital and leave message to speak to midwife

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I saw JuniorDragName move around last night which was new to me and pretty epic. I was getting a pulse/heartbeat type feeling, dunno if he was pulling the cord around and I could feel the pulse from the cord or if he kicking me rhythmically or what he was up to, but then my stomach did a sort of ‘Mexican wave’ motion. So I got MrDragName upstairs to have a look but he wasn’t sure if he could see it or not, I guess I had the better angle as I was staring directly down at my bump and he couldn’t fit in behind me to get the same view as me. But he did it two or three more times and it was pretty epic whilst also being slightly like that scene in Alien .

My latest anxiety fixation is the fact that the young man is breech and I don’t believe he’s turned yet, though I can’t be sure. I’d like to avoid a c-section if I can. And I realise him being breech is not the only reason for needing a c-section but it’s quite a big reason. Obviously, I just want a birth that is safe for him and me and if that is a c-section then that is what it is. But, in the meantime, is there anything I can legitimately and safely do to encourage this young lad to turn? I tried googling and some of the stuff either seemed a bit ‘woo woo’ or a bit dangerous or both!