Pregnancy #64

[Keera]

My mind is still blown over prams/travel systems/whatever they are. I’ve asked in here a couple of times and Ive read numerous articles and I am no further forward. How the hell do you choose?

We went for a walk last weekend and were on a not particularly bumpy forest path, but we saw someone coming the other way with some sort of pram/pushchair and it was bumping along all over the place. Given where we live and my desire to try and get us out and about, a mixed-or all terrain system would be exceptionally helpful. It looked like it was hurting the kid and the mum holding the pram tbh, it really was moving about that much!

I want the car seat to have that 360 swivel base because we park on street and can’t always guarantee what side the nipper will be on. It seems hard to find 360 compatible seats that attach to a travel system chassis. Or I don’t know where to look. Probably that one. My Mum lives just under an hour’s drive away and is likely to be a person we’ll visit a fair bit when the baby is allowed to be in a car seat that long, but I guess I need a seat that is suitable for that?!

I don’t know if i need a carry cot or not? We have a Moses basket so I don’t need it specifically for in the house but maybe Junior will prefer to lie flat for walks? I wish I could ask now

Happy to buy second hand, if anything I’d prefer it (except the car seat because I know that’s considered unsafe) so it doesn’t need to be the latest thing. What I really want is some sort of flow diagram/magazine style quiz where I answer a load of questions and it cuts the crap and tells me what to buy.

https://www.babylist.com/hello-baby/car-seat-stroller-compatibility

this is an up to date lists of car seats/stroller compatibility.

we have a Cybex gazelle travel system that came with the bassinet and stroller seat. The stroller seat is actually lie flat and useable from birth but it would have been too big for her I think from birth so we used the bassinet for 3 months. The recommendation is really lie flat in pram or stroller until baby’s head control is strong (round about 3/4 months usually).

ETA: we picked our car seat first as the safety of that was most important to me (Cybex cloud) and then that narrowed down travel system options as it meant we just looked at ones compatible with that - might be an idea to make it less overwhelming?

 

[Shinythings]

Team Ocarro here as well!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

You lot are Mystic Megs, MrDragName had just stumbled upon the Ocarro after I posted and it looks like it would be great for us. There appears to be local second hand options on FB Marketplace too. Our plan is to go to some sort of Baby Superstore to look at loads of things and we will make sure wherever we decide to go has this so we can try it out regardless of where we decide to buy it.

I feel like a mad cheapskate for wanting to buy lots second hand but the costs are mind blowing and I’m staring down the barrel of a 78% pay cut after the first 6 weeks of SMP are over and we didn’t quite have the saving money time we thought we would, so I’d like to make sure there’s something left to be responsive to what Junior likes once they’re here (whatever baby activities there might be etc).

 

[Spencerskates]

You lot are Mystic Megs, MrDragName had just stumbled upon the Ocarro after I posted and it looks like it would be great for us. There appears to be local second hand options on FB Marketplace too. Our plan is to go to some sort of Baby Superstore to look at loads of things and we will make sure wherever we decide to go has this so we can try it out regardless of where we decide to buy it.

I feel like a mad cheapskate for wanting to buy lots second hand but the costs are mind blowing and I’m staring down the barrel of a 78% pay cut after the first 6 weeks of SMP are over and we didn’t quite have the saving money time we thought we would, so I’d like to make sure there’s something left to be responsive to what Junior likes once they’re here (whatever baby activities there might be etc).

We bought everything new with our first and I actually really regret it. We spent literally thousands, it could have given me another couple of months off with him, a holiday etc. babies truly don’t care if their pram is new or not! And we didn’t actually use our big travel system for that long, as we found a small stroller way more practical once he hit 12 months.

 

[littlepup]

You lot are Mystic Megs, MrDragName had just stumbled upon the Ocarro after I posted and it looks like it would be great for us. There appears to be local second hand options on FB Marketplace too. Our plan is to go to some sort of Baby Superstore to look at loads of things and we will make sure wherever we decide to go has this so we can try it out regardless of where we decide to buy it.

I feel like a mad cheapskate for wanting to buy lots second hand but the costs are mind blowing and I’m staring down the barrel of a 78% pay cut after the first 6 weeks of SMP are over and we didn’t quite have the saving money time we thought we would, so I’d like to make sure there’s something left to be responsive to what Junior likes once they’re here (whatever baby activities there might be etc).

We got as much as possible second hand and I don’t regret it for a second. In fact I’m so chuffed we didn’t spend the grand on the travel system (picked one in John Lewis then found it 2nd hand) as I hated it and switched to a compact stroller asap.
They use a lot of it for so little time and they won’t always take to things so there’s so much waste if you buy new and you can buy 2nd hand nearly new for the same reason.

This time I splashed the cash on a Baby Bjorn bouncer, baby isn’t interested at all. They slept in the next to me maybe 20 times total. The day crib we got was used maybe 10 times - they’d only sleep on me.
I did reuse the hated travel system for basinette stage but that was really just a handful of times as we can’t go for walks where we live so it was only days out.
The swinging chair has been used more but really, it mostly just sits there (my first used it all the time though).
I’d advise to see what kind of baby you have, if they’re happy to be contained or prefer to just lay on a blanket before investing in a ton of stuff brand new.

 

[indeedjoy]

You lot are Mystic Megs, MrDragName had just stumbled upon the Ocarro after I posted and it looks like it would be great for us. There appears to be local second hand options on FB Marketplace too. Our plan is to go to some sort of Baby Superstore to look at loads of things and we will make sure wherever we decide to go has this so we can try it out regardless of where we decide to buy it.

I feel like a mad cheapskate for wanting to buy lots second hand but the costs are mind blowing and I’m staring down the barrel of a 78% pay cut after the first 6 weeks of SMP are over and we didn’t quite have the saving money time we thought we would, so I’d like to make sure there’s something left to be responsive to what Junior likes once they’re here (whatever baby activities there might be etc).

Ocarro for me too couldn’t fault the deal as well as it was on offer then got a £300 voucher too!

 

[anything at all]

Nothing wrong with second hand but be careful as some people will post some grim stuff for sale that’s been poorly stored. And no cleaning over mould.

We were looking for a double recently but gave up as none of the one we wanted in good condition were popping up, we got new as we couldn’t really wait any longer 🫠

 

[QueenKoala]

Team Ocarro as well, this is my second and I’ve actually done something that will probably shock a lot but bought it brand new this time

We had the Joie Versatrax the first time and whilst it did the job very well, it was not great off terrain going on walks and bulky to collapse etc. so very excited for this one, anything to make life easier! We’ve got the swivel cybex chair too, am a fan of the ol’ swivel seat!!

 

[clmay]

Worth noting if you buy the occaro second hand you can take it to mamas and papas for a service for about £100-120. They clean it all up and can do repairs (additional cost) if required. Ours is there now for a spruce up before baby 2 arrives!

 

[indeedjoy]

This sounds a bit crazy but it’s dawned on me that
1. I have no clue on how to feed a baby? What’s safe now? What’s the rules now on making formula etc? Sterilising?
2. How do I know what to dress them in? How do I know if they are too hot or too cold
3. I don’t even have a clue
🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

 

[Keera]

This sounds a bit crazy but it’s dawned on me that
1. I have no clue on how to feed a baby? What’s safe now? What’s the rules now on making formula etc? Sterilising?
2. How do I know what to dress them in? How do I know if they are too hot or too cold
3. I don’t even have a clue
🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

Formula isn’t recommended to be made and stored in the fridge for 24 hours anymore (although you still technically can), the NHS recommends using pre-made formulas for out and about but of course this can be pricey depending on how often you need to do it. 2 hours at room temp before discarding. Formula cans have the rough age/weight and how much they should be taking but it’s best to be led by baby how much they want to eat. You can over feed a baby (on formula) but in my experience babies are good at pushing the bottle away when they are done and you’d need to really push it to over feed them.
Machines like the rapid cool can cool the boiling formula down to drinkable in seconds/minutes so no waiting 30 mins anymore
some bottles can be sterilised in a microwave etc but personally I have a Milton bucket and tablets for cold water sterilising as I find it easiest.
Rule of thumb for dressing is one more layer than you have on - for example in the house if u wear a tshirt and leggings then baby would have a vest T-shirt and leggings. And use judgement but outside usually always a hat under 18degrees. Cold babies will cry, hot babies look flushed and sweaty.

(and don’t worry - I’m a nurse who actually did the qualification to become a health visitor in 2022 and I still now have to ask the internet/tattle and Google a lot of things - you learn as you go )

 

[indeedjoy]

Formula isn’t recommended to be made and stored in the fridge for 24 hours anymore (although you still technically can), the NHS recommends using pre-made formulas for out and about but of course this can be pricey depending on how often you need to do it. 2 hours at room temp before discarding. Formula cans have the rough age/weight and how much they should be taking but it’s best to be led by baby how much they want to eat. You can over feed a baby (on formula) but in my experience babies are good at pushing the bottle away when they are done and you’d need to really push it to over feed them.
Machines like the rapid cool can cool the boiling formula down to drinkable in seconds/minutes so no waiting 30 mins anymore
some bottles can be sterilised in a microwave etc but personally I have a Milton bucket and tablets for cold water sterilising as I find it easiest.
Rule of thumb for dressing is one more layer than you have on - for example in the house if u wear a tshirt and leggings then baby would have a vest T-shirt and leggings. And use judgement but outside usually always a hat under 18degrees. Cold babies will cry, hot babies look flushed and sweaty.

(and don’t worry - I’m a nurse who actually did the qualification to become a health visitor in 2022 and I still now have to ask the internet/tattle and Google a lot of things - you learn as you go )

Thank you!!!
I was used to making bottles for my niece and storing in the fridge and wasn’t sure if this is still allowed!!

 

[Scorpihoe]

We went for Cybex Priam with the cloud t car seat and isofix base. Haven’t tried it out yet as baby isn’t here, but I love the look of it

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

MotherDragName is superstitious, always has been. I come from a line of superstitious women. Can’t cut my nails on certain days of the week, if I put something on inside out and only notice when I’m out I can’t change it over, etc etc. a lot of weird things are drummed into me and it bemuses people.

She is also quite an opinionated person. So, the currently clash is over ‘the pram’ and she has twice told me in the less than a month she has known I’m pregnant that you ‘cannot’ buy the pram/bring it home till the baby is born and at home themselves. Which is cool and all but totally impractical. So she’s started this up again today and when I have pointed out it’ll be a full travel system we’ll be getting that we’ll need to have to bring the baby home from hospital as it will include a car seat she announced, like it was a good thing, that I never had a car seat (at least not to come home from hospital, which I very much did in a car. I am assuming I was in her arms at the time and she was not driving, I didn’t bother asking, I just felt grateful I made it home alive.)

I’ve already had quite pointed questions about whether or not I will be using reusable nappies (she did), whether I’ll be making my own baby food (she did), where will the cot be, etc. She was a lifelong single parent and did a cracking job, but I have also learned she was only able to take 6 weeks of mat leave, worked through part of that, and then told me a story about how she left me on my own in the flat she lived in, which was in the same building as her workplace/office, and heard me crying on the baby monitor and when someone else asked her if she was going to see if I was alright she said no, that I would settle myself.

She told me I should not pander to my baby every time they so much as make a snuffle when I told her about a newborn-toddler convertible high chair that I’d like to get for Junior so if I am in the kitchen they can be nearby and I can keep an eye on them and talk to them but that they might just like being held so I might get a sling and they could go on my back.

She’s not wrong but also… a lot of what she has said about my early life says a lot about a whole heap of my insecurities and anxieties that I hold 40 whole years later. I don’t blame her, she did what she had to do and I’m healthy and rounded and reasonably successful at what I do but, yeah. I’m also a bit of an anxious validation-seeking mess.

I obviously don’t want to duck my kid’s whole life up with a terrible parenting style but I would like the same opportunity as every parent should have to figure it out for themselves. And everything I say seems to be met with this look of judgement. She had to wing it, I’d like the chance to wing it too and if my mental health dictates that I don’t use reusable nappies or homemade baby foods, then so be it. Will that make me a terrible parent? No. I don’t want to fall out with my Mum about this stuff but I could do without ridiculous superstitions causing me anxiety.

 

[clmay]

MotherDragName is superstitious, always has been. I come from a line of superstitious women. Can’t cut my nails on certain days of the week, if I put something on inside out and only notice when I’m out I can’t change it over, etc etc. a lot of weird things are drummed into me and it bemuses people.

She is also quite an opinionated person. So, the currently clash is over ‘the pram’ and she has twice told me in the less than a month she has known I’m pregnant that you ‘cannot’ buy the pram/bring it home till the baby is born and at home themselves. Which is cool and all but totally impractical. So she’s started this up again today and when I have pointed out it’ll be a full travel system we’ll be getting that we’ll need to have to bring the baby home from hospital as it will include a car seat she announced, like it was a good thing, that I never had a car seat (at least not to come home from hospital, which I very much did in a car. I am assuming I was in her arms at the time and she was not driving, I didn’t bother asking, I just felt grateful I made it home alive.)

I’ve already had quite pointed questions about whether or not I will be using reusable nappies (she did), whether I’ll be making my own baby food (she did), where will the cot be, etc. She was a lifelong single parent and did a cracking job, but I have also learned she was only able to take 6 weeks of mat leave, worked through part of that, and then told me a story about how she left me on my own in the flat she lived in, which was in the same building as her workplace/office, and heard me crying on the baby monitor and when someone else asked her if she was going to see if I was alright she said no, that I would settle myself.

She told me I should not pander to my baby every time they so much as make a snuffle when I told her about a newborn-toddler convertible high chair that I’d like to get for Junior so if I am in the kitchen they can be nearby and I can keep an eye on them and talk to them but that they might just like being held so I might get a sling and they could go on my back.

She’s not wrong but also… a lot of what she has said about my early life says a lot about a whole heap of my insecurities and anxieties that I hold 40 whole years later. I don’t blame her, she did what she had to do and I’m healthy and rounded and reasonably successful at what I do but, yeah. I’m also a bit of an anxious validation-seeking mess.

I obviously don’t want to duck my kid’s whole life up with a terrible parenting style but I would like the same opportunity as every parent should have to figure it out for themselves. And everything I say seems to be met with this look of judgement. She had to wing it, I’d like the chance to wing it too and if my mental health dictates that I don’t use reusable nappies or homemade baby foods, then so be it. Will that make me a terrible parent? No. I don’t want to fall out with my Mum about this stuff but I could do without ridiculous superstitions causing me anxiety.

I have to say- we kept the pram at my parents house until baby was here! My mum is also superstitious

 

[themuffinwoman]

MotherDragName is superstitious, always has been. I come from a line of superstitious women. Can’t cut my nails on certain days of the week, if I put something on inside out and only notice when I’m out I can’t change it over, etc etc. a lot of weird things are drummed into me and it bemuses people.

She is also quite an opinionated person. So, the currently clash is over ‘the pram’ and she has twice told me in the less than a month she has known I’m pregnant that you ‘cannot’ buy the pram/bring it home till the baby is born and at home themselves. Which is cool and all but totally impractical. So she’s started this up again today and when I have pointed out it’ll be a full travel system we’ll be getting that we’ll need to have to bring the baby home from hospital as it will include a car seat she announced, like it was a good thing, that I never had a car seat (at least not to come home from hospital, which I very much did in a car. I am assuming I was in her arms at the time and she was not driving, I didn’t bother asking, I just felt grateful I made it home alive.)

I’ve already had quite pointed questions about whether or not I will be using reusable nappies (she did), whether I’ll be making my own baby food (she did), where will the cot be, etc. She was a lifelong single parent and did a cracking job, but I have also learned she was only able to take 6 weeks of mat leave, worked through part of that, and then told me a story about how she left me on my own in the flat she lived in, which was in the same building as her workplace/office, and heard me crying on the baby monitor and when someone else asked her if she was going to see if I was alright she said no, that I would settle myself.

She told me I should not pander to my baby every time they so much as make a snuffle when I told her about a newborn-toddler convertible high chair that I’d like to get for Junior so if I am in the kitchen they can be nearby and I can keep an eye on them and talk to them but that they might just like being held so I might get a sling and they could go on my back.

She’s not wrong but also… a lot of what she has said about my early life says a lot about a whole heap of my insecurities and anxieties that I hold 40 whole years later. I don’t blame her, she did what she had to do and I’m healthy and rounded and reasonably successful at what I do but, yeah. I’m also a bit of an anxious validation-seeking mess.

I obviously don’t want to duck my kid’s whole life up with a terrible parenting style but I would like the same opportunity as every parent should have to figure it out for themselves. And everything I say seems to be met with this look of judgement. She had to wing it, I’d like the chance to wing it too and if my mental health dictates that I don’t use reusable nappies or homemade baby foods, then so be it. Will that make me a terrible parent? No. I don’t want to fall out with my Mum about this stuff but I could do without ridiculous superstitions causing me anxiety.

In Judaism they’re very superstitious about the pram- my friend stored it at her parents’ place till
Their baby was born. I had never actually heard that being a thing, I was too anxious about baby coming early and not having anything, and if I lived in a bigger house probs would have got the pram earlier.

The fact you’re so aware of everything means you won’t be a terrible parent. Could you share less of a few things with your mum? You don’t have to tell her you’re not sharing to avoid arguments, but just be a bit more selective. I think parents take it quite personally when we choose to parent differently to them, not as a “duck you” but because we know more now.

 

[LittleMissMuffet]

MotherDragName is superstitious, always has been. I come from a line of superstitious women. Can’t cut my nails on certain days of the week, if I put something on inside out and only notice when I’m out I can’t change it over, etc etc. a lot of weird things are drummed into me and it bemuses people.

She is also quite an opinionated person. So, the currently clash is over ‘the pram’ and she has twice told me in the less than a month she has known I’m pregnant that you ‘cannot’ buy the pram/bring it home till the baby is born and at home themselves. Which is cool and all but totally impractical. So she’s started this up again today and when I have pointed out it’ll be a full travel system we’ll be getting that we’ll need to have to bring the baby home from hospital as it will include a car seat she announced, like it was a good thing, that I never had a car seat (at least not to come home from hospital, which I very much did in a car. I am assuming I was in her arms at the time and she was not driving, I didn’t bother asking, I just felt grateful I made it home alive.)

I’ve already had quite pointed questions about whether or not I will be using reusable nappies (she did), whether I’ll be making my own baby food (she did), where will the cot be, etc. She was a lifelong single parent and did a cracking job, but I have also learned she was only able to take 6 weeks of mat leave, worked through part of that, and then told me a story about how she left me on my own in the flat she lived in, which was in the same building as her workplace/office, and heard me crying on the baby monitor and when someone else asked her if she was going to see if I was alright she said no, that I would settle myself.

She told me I should not pander to my baby every time they so much as make a snuffle when I told her about a newborn-toddler convertible high chair that I’d like to get for Junior so if I am in the kitchen they can be nearby and I can keep an eye on them and talk to them but that they might just like being held so I might get a sling and they could go on my back.

She’s not wrong but also… a lot of what she has said about my early life says a lot about a whole heap of my insecurities and anxieties that I hold 40 whole years later. I don’t blame her, she did what she had to do and I’m healthy and rounded and reasonably successful at what I do but, yeah. I’m also a bit of an anxious validation-seeking mess.

I obviously don’t want to duck my kid’s whole life up with a terrible parenting style but I would like the same opportunity as every parent should have to figure it out for themselves. And everything I say seems to be met with this look of judgement. She had to wing it, I’d like the chance to wing it too and if my mental health dictates that I don’t use reusable nappies or homemade baby foods, then so be it. Will that make me a terrible parent? No. I don’t want to fall out with my Mum about this stuff but I could do without ridiculous superstitions causing me anxiety.

It sounds full on. I have quite a few self confidence issues and anxiety and honestly it’s kind of helped me be the parent I needed when I was small. I understand why my parents had their issues etc etc however the difference is that I’m trying to break generational trauma and am thinking of how I can help raise my child with a healthy foundation for whatever life throws at a later stage. That was a long way of simply saying - just trust in yourself. And you are so right - the superstition stuff isn’t helpful more so when you’re going through something as mental as pregnancy. We got our travel system early and we have a wonderful, healthy 3.5yr old.

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

I have to say- we kept the pram at my parents house until baby was here! My mum is also superstitious

This doesn’t appear to be being offered to me as an option. I am supposed to be leaving it in the shop. We’ll gloss over the fact that the nearest big pram shop is like a 2 hour drive away and shops don’t have storage facilities . In fairness, we have significantly more room in our house for storing it than she does.

The story of when she went to pick up the pram for me was the people in the shop were asking her what she’d had and she didn’t even know what they were talking about. I think that sums it up!

 

[ThisIsMyDragName]

In Judaism they’re very superstitious about the pram- my friend stored it at her parents’ place till
Their baby was born. I had never actually heard that being a thing, I was too anxious about baby coming early and not having anything, and if I lived in a bigger house probs would have got the pram earlier.

The fact you’re so aware of everything means you won’t be a terrible parent. Could you share less of a few things with your mum? You don’t have to tell her you’re not sharing to avoid arguments, but just be a bit more selective. I think parents take it quite personally when we choose to parent differently to them, not as a “duck you” but because we know more now.

Oh interesting! We have no Jewish heritage ourselves but it’s interesting to hear it exists out of my family.

I will have to share less I think. I wanted her to be excited and feel included. But perhaps it’s best not to

 

[themuffinwoman]

Oh interesting! We have no Jewish heritage ourselves but it’s interesting to hear it exists out of my family.

I will have to share less I think. I wanted her to be excited and feel included. But perhaps it’s best not to

I would be lost without my Mum but she did not agree with me doing BLW for feeding and the other day she said “I don’t think it made any difference to her do you”