THIS!!! Also no matter how you give birth, your body goes through some degree of trauma (both from pregnancy and delivery). that’s why it takes time to recover from it
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I do agree you only tend to hear the ‘scary’ stories etc.. However I do feel that whilst pregnant they only want to talk about the positives so it’s easy to forget that it won’t always happen like that. Even the midwives I feel sell you a bit of a dream.
I personally have 4 people in my life that had babies in recent years that I could ask for their in-depth birth stories. 3 of them ended up with caesareans, so I think it’s more common than I ever thought/realised. Which in a way makes me feel like less of a failure about it all- but it’s just a bit of reality is all. Not meant to scare or undermine anyone else’s experiences
I personally have 4 people in my life that had babies in recent years that I could ask for their in-depth birth stories. 3 of them ended up with caesareans, so I think it’s more common than I ever thought/realised. Which in a way makes me feel like less of a failure about it all- but it’s just a bit of reality is all. Not meant to scare or undermine anyone else’s experiences
I only heard negative stories whilst pregnant and it really upset me. Afterwards, friends who had had positive experiences told me their stories and said they weren't comfortable sharing the details around people who hadn't had postivie experiences.
Funny isn’t it! As it wasn’t until after mine that one of my friends really went into detail about hers(a negative experience unfortunately). I asked why she never told me and she said she didn’t want to put me off as it’s put her off having a second! And hearing her full story really helped as I thought I was going mad with all the thoughts I was having about mine.
it’s good to be open minded and prepare for anything. My hospital release a birth stats each month and last month almost 25% of births ended in emergency caesarean which in hindsight I could have prepared myself even a little for it being a possibility. I was too busy listening to the midwife only talk about vaginal births and ‘planning’ for that
I think overall I’ve found people only want to laugh and joke to you about the negatives. Not just about pregnancy or birth, but the awfulness of having children. How your life is over etc etc. And everyone thinks you’ll be exactly the same as them. So I just try to avoid talking to people about it overall other than banal chat
Out of interest does anyone know of any services in the UK that are available for partners to speak to to discuss feelings following labour and delivery? My partner likes to tell everyone he has PTSD from the birth of our son (don't even get me started 
) and I'm concerned he might not be able to advocate for me should I need it. I wouldn't want, nor do I have, anyone else that I can have with me during the birth of our second so was kind of hoping to get this cleared up as soon as. Will mention it to my midwife too when I see her, see if there's anything local to us too.
) and I'm concerned he might not be able to advocate for me should I need it. I wouldn't want, nor do I have, anyone else that I can have with me during the birth of our second so was kind of hoping to get this cleared up as soon as. Will mention it to my midwife too when I see her, see if there's anything local to us too.
I think in general around 25% of births are via Caesarean in the UK. For anyone worried, the doctors who perform them do them all the time - you will be in good hands and they aren’t as bad as you imagine. Honestly I think it’s best to be informed and know that your birth might not go exactly to plan but the main thing is that your baby is delivered safely.
Does anyone get wierd stabbing shooting pains in their tina and low pelvis early on? I’m 10 weeks. It’s in the middle not at the sides. I had pains like this with my first but don’t remember them being this unpleasant , not severe but definitely makes me stop for a second as it’s like getting kicked in the cervix (but baby is too small to be doing that!!) I had some spotting last night and now a bit freaked but it was so minimal I didn’t call EPAU
Wow see I never knew that! You’d think with it being so high they’d talk about it being a possibility more. I know they don’t want to scare you but it’s scarier not having a clue surely
I lost nearly 1.4 litres of blood post-partum - as someone else suggested, a birth debrief is a really good idea as it gives you an opportunity to scrutinise what happened and answer any questions so you're not left with whys and what ifs. The consultant who did my debrief said my blood loss was due to a combination of the speed of labour and the trauma of the birth. I asked if it would happen again in future and she said it might, so it's been recommended that I give birth in hospital if I were to have another, and for the team to be aware of the last haemorrhage so they can have relevant drugs on standby to ensure my uterus contracts quicker to stop the bleeding next time. I found the debrief really helpful in general and it gave me some closure after a difficult birth, I hope it'd do the same for youI'm actually not too sure they never really spoke to me about it, I think my placenta was huge and it had a little lobe on itbut they never really explained why it happened.
Morning! I know i ask too many questions, i am sorry. I havent been directed to a hospital till next week when i see my doc, so I can stop with my silly questions. I am 6 weeks this week, did any of you loose appetite and feel like you have a full stomach (aka just didnt feel like eating)? thats what happening to me now and i am finding myself to force feed myself with small meals
Parents get priority access to mental health support during the first year of the child's birth, but assuming your first child is more than a year old I'd recommend he refers himself to support ASAP due to waiting times. I'm not sure about specialist support but services that offer general talking therapy would assess to find out the causes of the issue and then could link him with a therapist with relevant skills. I know it's not helpful if he's self-diagnosed PTSD, but it's actually really common for partners to be traumatised by the birth and of seeing the person they love most in pain with no way to help, especially if things go wrong and they become scared about losing their partner or baby. It'd be good for him to access support for both your sakesOut of interest does anyone know of any services in the UK that are available for partners to speak to to discuss feelings following labour and delivery? My partner likes to tell everyone he has PTSD from the birth of our son (don't even get me started
if either of you have an employee assistance programme through work they tend to offer support almost immediately so it might be worth looking into that (most EAPs extend to partners) - and definitely ask the midwife in case there's something specific in your area 
Yes, especially with my 3rd I was nauseous all day but whenever that lifted I still didn’t feel like eating much because I just felt heavy, nothing took my fancy. I just snacked where I felt like it and my poor husband made many, many trips to the supermarket 🫠
I'm having one of the worst nights and I'm going on my baby moon in the morning 
The baby has managed to position themselves in my hip joint (at least that's how it feels) and is then kicking me loads in the area too. The pain is unbearable and making my eyes water. This is also the hip I sleep on usually so I've had to try to sleep in another position. To top it all off, I woke up and was sick so I've been terrified of going back to sleep in case I'm sick again. The baby is still in the hip joint area and every time I try to turn to get comfy the pain is just searing. I know how dramatic I sound but it's honestly nothing I've ever felt before
I go away first thing in the morning so I'm worrying that I'm going to be in agony all weekend and I don't want to be sick all weekend either. Where we are going is going to include a lot of walking too. Literally can't believe how good I was feeling and now all of a sudden I just feel incapacitated at the worst possible timing
sorry for the rant, I have no friends who have children so I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this. You guys are the only people who understand
The baby has managed to position themselves in my hip joint (at least that's how it feels) and is then kicking me loads in the area too. The pain is unbearable and making my eyes water. This is also the hip I sleep on usually so I've had to try to sleep in another position. To top it all off, I woke up and was sick so I've been terrified of going back to sleep in case I'm sick again. The baby is still in the hip joint area and every time I try to turn to get comfy the pain is just searing. I know how dramatic I sound but it's honestly nothing I've ever felt before
I go away first thing in the morning so I'm worrying that I'm going to be in agony all weekend and I don't want to be sick all weekend either. Where we are going is going to include a lot of walking too. Literally can't believe how good I was feeling and now all of a sudden I just feel incapacitated at the worst possible timing
sorry for the rant, I have no friends who have children so I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about this. You guys are the only people who understand Ah I feel for you! Things can change so quick in pregnancy can’t they. Take it easy but walking could help baby moving into a better position. You could also try some yoga moves if you feel up to it. Do you have a pregnancy pillow you can take away with you? Can help you sleep when in a different bed. I hope the pain eases and you have a lovely baby moonI'm having one of the worst nights and I'm going on my baby moon in the morning
The baby has managed to position themselves in my hip joint (at least that's how it feels) and is then kicking me loads in the area too. The pain is unbearable and making my eyes water. This is also the hip I sleep on usually so I've had to try to sleep in another position. To top it all off, I woke up and was sick so I've been terrified of going back to sleep in case I'm sick again. The baby is still in the hip joint area and every time I try to turn to get comfy the pain is just searing. I know how dramatic I sound but it's honestly nothing I've ever felt before
I go away first thing in the morning so I'm worrying that I'm going to be in agony all weekend and I don't want to be sick all weekend either. Where we are going is going to include a lot of walking too. Literally can't believe how good I was feeling and now all of a sudden I just feel incapacitated at the worst possible timing
It’s likely because you’re bloated. It will change and your appetite will come back.
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You can probably massage them into a better position. Hope you’re ok!I'm having one of the worst nights and I'm going on my baby moon in the morning
The baby has managed to position themselves in my hip joint (at least that's how it feels) and is then kicking me loads in the area too. The pain is unbearable and making my eyes water. This is also the hip I sleep on usually so I've had to try to sleep in another position. To top it all off, I woke up and was sick so I've been terrified of going back to sleep in case I'm sick again. The baby is still in the hip joint area and every time I try to turn to get comfy the pain is just searing. I know how dramatic I sound but it's honestly nothing I've ever felt before
I go away first thing in the morning so I'm worrying that I'm going to be in agony all weekend and I don't want to be sick all weekend either. Where we are going is going to include a lot of walking too. Literally can't believe how good I was feeling and now all of a sudden I just feel incapacitated at the worst possible timing
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Mine isn’t moving around as much these past few days but I think he’s in a dodgy position. Trying not to be too neurotic about it
only 22 weeks so there shouldn’t be a pattern yet anyway.Yes definitely especially with my evening meal. If start to eat and feel very full. I actually lost weight in my first trimester due to sickness and feeling full. Eating little and often and healthy snacks should help?
Yep me too. I have also lost weight in my first trimester. Nothing appealed and I had tiny portions of rubbish food. It passed at 9/10 weeks.
Happy September all! Just dawned on me that I’m having my baby next month 
Who’s due this month?!
Who’s due this month?!- Status