Pregnancy #49

[themuffinwoman]

I'll put it behind a spoiler just incase

Spoiler

So my daughter was a deflexed OP or as my practice nurse lovingly refers to it (she is also a midwife) face to pubes . She ended up getting stuck in my pelvis after 40 mins of pushing. Originally the plan was for a trial of forceps but it quickly turned into emcs. She wasn't far enough down and the surgeon tried to manually move her head, but when he did he tore the side of my womb/cervix. The main reason the consultant recommended it was to do with the trauma caused so more from a safety aspect as i also ended up having a significant blood loss. I'm not sure how common emcs is when you're fully dilated but my midwife said that's why id probably end up having another even if I wanted to labour. Which I don't

Spoiler

thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry you went through all that, it sounds really traumatic. I also had an EMCS when fully dilated and very similar happened to me, baby wasn’t far enough down and instruments wouldn’t reach her. During my birth debrief I was also told it would be likely I would end up with an EMCS but she sort of said it more from a statistical point of view vs actually explaining why (I’m guessing my pelvis is a funny shape ).

 

[WordsFromReuben]

I had a woman from work, who had never messaged me before (we spoke in work) start messaging me every couple of days asking if there were any signs.
I started opening the messages so she could see I'd read them and then never replied.
She's not spoke to me since, whenever I see her in passing. And that was 5 years ago

Haha snap this is literally a woman I worked with 8 years ago! Have hardly seen her since maybe once in passing lol

 

[WeHadFunRight]

Spoiler

thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry you went through all that, it sounds really traumatic. I also had an EMCS when fully dilated and very similar happened to me, baby wasn’t far enough down and instruments wouldn’t reach her. During my birth debrief I was also told it would be likely I would end up with an EMCS but she sort of said it more from a statistical point of view vs actually explaining why (I’m guessing my pelvis is a funny shape ).

My first was an EMCS In similar circumstances (funny angle wouldn’t come out, don’t think her head was anywhere near enough the exit… we still joke that she’d still be in there now if she’d had her way). I had the doctors in the room trying to figure out if they could get her out with forceps, ventouse, or rusk, but they decided EMCS it was… anyway, I found that throughout my second pregnancy people seemed to assume (not ask, just assume, it was very weird) that I was going to have an elective. One midwife said quite cheerily “so I suppose you’ll go for another c-section” I thought “well I didn’t go for the first c-section”

when I discussed my preference for a VBAC with my consultant after explaining my first birth she actually said the fact I got to 10cm dilated and got to try and push meant the VBAC could be successful (it was) - she basically said “your body was doing all the right things, just baby didn’t want to come out, so this time there’s 80% success rate”

not sure if that’s helpful to read or not. My friend and I both had successful VBACs after EMCS. She had a fully natural labour (she actually gave birth 10 hours before her elective was booked in for) I had an induced labour. Both births much quicker than the 36+ hours firsts (friend was 6 hours, I was 11 hours).

 

[nefariousnellie]

Spoiler: Induction

My induction is taking a long time, well it feels long to me and I'm struggling mentally with it all tbh.

Had the 24 hour pessary taken out earlier, cervix was looking better but she couldn't quite break my waters so I had the 6 hour gel. I am so sore from the pessary so it was a really awful examination and I felt so upset afterwards because things just aren't going as I'd hoped.

I now seem to have been forgotten about as was due to checked a while ago but no one has been in (I dozed off).

I just can't shake this feeling that I am going to end up having a traumatic assisted birth or emergency section after labouring fails. Labour hasn't even started yet and I'm exhausted and really struggling to be positive. Why can't my body just go into labour?

 

[themuffinwoman]

My first was an EMCS In similar circumstances (funny angle wouldn’t come out, don’t think her head was anywhere near enough the exit… we still joke that she’d still be in there now if she’d had her way). I had the doctors in the room trying to figure out if they could get her out with forceps, ventouse, or rusk, but they decided EMCS it was… anyway, I found that throughout my second pregnancy people seemed to assume (not ask, just assume, it was very weird) that I was going to have an elective. One midwife said quite cheerily “so I suppose you’ll go for another c-section” I thought “well I didn’t go for the first c-section”

when I discussed my preference for a VBAC with my consultant after explaining my first birth she actually said the fact I got to 10cm dilated and got to try and push meant the VBAC could be successful (it was) - she basically said “your body was doing all the right things, just baby didn’t want to come out, so this time there’s 80% success rate”

not sure if that’s helpful to read or not. My friend and I both had successful VBACs after EMCS. She had a fully natural labour (she actually gave birth 10 hours before her elective was booked in for) I had an induced labour. Both births much quicker than the 36+ hours firsts (friend was 6 hours, I was 11 hours).

This is actually really really reassuring to hear. During my debrief that wasn’t actually focused on, whereas my labour itself actually progressed naturally and quickly after they burst the rest of my waters, so much so they said my body behaved like it was my second or third baby because I got to 10cm quickly (so quickly my contractions went from 0 to 100 in 30 mins). That all makes sense, it’s something that is worrying me although some dumb Mother Nature instinct seems to be kicking in because over the last few days I’ve been thinking “awww wouldn’t it be nice to have more mini muffins”

 

[Chewycinema]

Spoiler

thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry you went through all that, it sounds really traumatic. I also had an EMCS when fully dilated and very similar happened to me, baby wasn’t far enough down and instruments wouldn’t reach her. During my birth debrief I was also told it would be likely I would end up with an EMCS but she sort of said it more from a statistical point of view vs actually explaining why (I’m guessing my pelvis is a funny shape ).

Have to say i dont think theyre ever that good at explaining the reasons why
I think that's why my midwife said the same. I had to attend the preterm clinic this time round between 16 and 24 weeks to be monitored and the consultant did say if I really wanted to I could try for vbac but would need growth scans and probably induced at 38 weeks but there was no guarantee it would be successful!
Luckily I'm quite happy for elective as I had such a bad experience 1st time round. My latent labour lasted 4 days and I could not go through the pain of back labour again

 

[xoxo GG]

Spoiler: Induction

My induction is taking a long time, well it feels long to me and I'm struggling mentally with it all tbh.

Had the 24 hour pessary taken out earlier, cervix was looking better but she couldn't quite break my waters so I had the 6 hour gel. I am so sore from the pessary so it was a really awful examination and I felt so upset afterwards because things just aren't going as I'd hoped.

I now seem to have been forgotten about as was due to checked a while ago but no one has been in (I dozed off).

I just can't shake this feeling that I am going to end up having a traumatic assisted birth or emergency section after labouring fails. Labour hasn't even started yet and I'm exhausted and really struggling to be positive. Why can't my body just go into labour?

Mine was the same. I had a pessary, 2 lots of gel and eventually the drip. I had a NVD and I didn’t have an epidural either. It’s a horrible experience and I feel for you but there’s plenty of time yet and you still have a lot of control over where you go next. 🤍

 

[cmcdb]

Starting to get random messages from people I haven’t seen in years asking me is baby here yet if he was and I haven’t announced it on social media yet then why would I be telling you! People are so nosy

I went out tonight with my dad and his friends and was asked a couple times am I going to be having the christening here or where I’m moving to because it’s awkward for people to get to. Annoyed me that it’s just presumed I’ll christen my children and that they’re even invited

 

[nefariousnellie]

Mine was the same. I had a pessary, 2 lots of gel and eventually the drip. I had a NVD and I didn’t have an epidural either. It’s a horrible experience and I feel for you but there’s plenty of time yet and you still have a lot of control over where you go next. 🤍

Thank you for this, tbh I think I'm tired and emotional and it's all just getting to me, today's been a tough day! Also as it's middle of the night my partner can't be here with me atm and I want a cuddle

 

[WhatABore]

I went out tonight with my dad and his friends and was asked a couple times am I going to be having the christening here or where I’m moving to because it’s awkward for people to get to. Annoyed me that it’s just presumed I’ll christen my children and that they’re even invited

I think it's an older generation thing.
My Mum asked the same and so did my older sister (she's in her 50s)
It seemed most people did it back when I was a baby but hardly anyone does now but the older ones presume everyone will do it still.

My family aren't religious in the slightest and never have been, but we've still all been christened as it was the done thing

 

[fudgebox]

Hormones are wild, we came on a cruise yesterday and I’ve just woke up crying because I miss the dog

 

[kayefeluu20]

20 weeks on Monday (scan on Tuesday - trying not to think about it!) but my husband managed to feel the baby wriggling last night 🥲 post 20 week scan (hopeful) all clear, we're going to buy all the big stuff and it's all going to feel so real 🫣

 

[CallMeHollywood]

Has anyone had appointments cancelled due to the strikes? I’ve got my consultation appointment tomorrow but I’ve not heard from the hospital to say it’s cancelled so I’m going to turn up as usual.

 

[fudgebox]

20 weeks on Monday (scan on Tuesday - trying not to think about it!) but my husband managed to feel the baby wriggling last night 🥲 post 20 week scan (hopeful) all clear, we're going to buy all the big stuff and it's all going to feel so real 🫣

I’m 20 weeks on Thursday can’t believe how quick it’s going!!

 

[elderflowerrose]

I envy everyone who says it goes quickly. I think it does looking back but MY GOD the last nine months have lasted nine years, I am sure

39 + 5 today; elective section booked for tomorrow afternoon. I’m so nervous! PIL are coming in the morning as they will be collecting toddler from nursery, and I feel pressured to have the house clean and tidy (they are lovely but they will clean if it isn’t done and I don’t want them to )

Going by old wives tales I am definitely having a boy, or a girl I shall update and keep following, this is my last pregnancy as apart from anything else I am 43 and I feel it! But for all the sickness and the exhaustion and the pain and the insomnia and the getting fat and the trumping, there is something a little bit magical about the fact we carry them inside us, isn’t there?

 

[Jellycat369]

Thank you all so much for the advice on sickness, it's been really helpful. Out of interest has anyone else had issues with insomnia/night terrors? I get really tired after mid afternoon and easily nod off on the sofa but can't sleep come bed time, even if I've only slept for 15 minutes earlier. When I do finally get to sleep, I'm getting woken up by awful night terrors Hoping the birth for this baby is better than my first if I'm having all the naff symptoms so early with this one!

 

[elderflowerrose]

No night terrors but insomnia has plagued me in this pregnancy. It’s awful! My issue was I would go to sleep fairly easily then wake at 1/2 in the morning and be unable to get back off until about 4/5.

 

[Chewycinema]

Thank you all so much for the advice on sickness, it's been really helpful. Out of interest has anyone else had issues with insomnia/night terrors? I get really tired after mid afternoon and easily nod off on the sofa but can't sleep come bed time, even if I've only slept for 15 minutes earlier. When I do finally get to sleep, I'm getting woken up by awful night terrors Hoping the birth for this baby is better than my first if I'm having all the naff symptoms so early with this one!

I had insomnia the first trimester! Could not sleep at all my first pregnancy I was the opposite and couldn't keep my eyes open
I'm having super vivid dreams at the minute though and I'm so over it

 

[themuffinwoman]

Thank you all so much for the advice on sickness, it's been really helpful. Out of interest has anyone else had issues with insomnia/night terrors? I get really tired after mid afternoon and easily nod off on the sofa but can't sleep come bed time, even if I've only slept for 15 minutes earlier. When I do finally get to sleep, I'm getting woken up by awful night terrors Hoping the birth for this baby is better than my first if I'm having all the naff symptoms so early with this one!

If it makes you feel better I sleep better now the baby is here than I did when I was pregnant I slept well the first trimester but had super vivid and scary dreams, the last trimester was like that film awake where I had such issues with sleep, I woke up tons and without fail was awake from 3-5am pretty much every day. Solidarity!
---

I think it's an older generation thing.
My Mum asked the same and so did my older sister (she's in her 50s)
It seemed most people did it back when I was a baby but hardly anyone does now but the older ones presume everyone will do it still.

My family aren't religious in the slightest and never have been, but we've still all been christened as it was the done thing

My sister’s gran in law asked if I’ve had mini muffin christened (never met the woman before in my life) and was absolutely horrified when she said no, she didn’t even get to the part about my husband being a different religion

 

[Bubbles1111]

Hi everyone, my first post on this thread but long time reader

I’m 29 weeks today with my first and my boyfriend has been excited throughout but last night he cried and said he was scared he wouldn’t like the baby. He said he’s been so stressed about money and providing when I’m on maternity that he feel flat about it and isn’t excited anymore and it’s making him feel bad. He said that he’s started to realise how much life is going to change and it’s scaring him.

has anyone else’s partner had similar feelings and is there anything I can say/do to make him feel better?