I think the time with her is what's worrying me the most. Elanna is a easy baby but is used to be on the go - we try yo do something with her every day. I think that's going to be the biggest adjustment, at least at first. Getting people to come to E first is a good idea though. Definitely think that should help!
Pregnancy #47
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This is what's worrying me now. I've just said 'april' for my due date but my in laws wormed the date out of my hubby in the sneakiest way (literally went round the houses to find out how many weeks I was and when). I made a point of saying "don't worry of we don't contact you, we will let you know if there is anything to worry about or any news" but it gets ignored. One lucky thing for us is the hospital policy has restricted visiting still so I'm buzzing at being able to tell parents that they aren't allowed to just turn up, so hopefully we will get some time alone with baby.baby tattle came out at 38+4 & it was a spontaneous labour. might've been a coincidence but i tried curb walking literally 2 days before. at that time all i felt was dumb
totally feel you on going mad bc of other people asking about the baby constantly. my friends & in laws started messaging me everyday asking whether baby's here and i was like if the baby's here, you would know. pls stop asking me every single day. unfortunately, the madness didn't stop even when i was in labour - in laws kept messaging my husband to ask for updates and insisted on coming to the hospital. husband just switched his phone off.
And curb walking is now added to the list of things I'm doing today
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I did the same but the due date got out! So angry because I've been trying not to focus too heavily on a specific date knowing baby will probably be late but it's a constant "get that baby moving" or "have a spicy curry" or "you know what gets baby in gets baby out" set of messages
we were so lucky that hospitals here don't allow anyone else in other than your spouse/mother. idk what they wanted??? to see my splayed out with a baby coming out my vag??This is what's worrying me now. I've just said 'april' for my due date but my in laws wormed the date out of my hubby in the sneakiest way (literally went round the houses to find out how many weeks I was and when). I made a point of saying "don't worry of we don't contact you, we will let you know if there is anything to worry about or any news" but it gets ignored. One lucky thing for us is the hospital policy has restricted visiting still so I'm buzzing at being able to tell parents that they aren't allowed to just turn up, so hopefully we will get some time alone with baby.
And curb walking is now added to the list of things I'm doing today
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I did the same but the due date got out! So angry because I've been trying not to focus too heavily on a specific date knowing baby will probably be late but it's a constant "get that baby moving" or "have a spicy curry" or "you know what gets baby in gets baby out" set of messages
i remember my FIL had the audacity to ask my husband if he could be the first one into the room to hold the baby, completely ignoring the fact that i have my own mum and dad who i'd prefer.
Oh my goodness. I couldn't imagine anything worse. I've had to specify 2 birth partners (one incase the first can't get there for some reason) and then the visiting is restricted to one person of my choice, so will be baby's dad. It's been a nightmare passing that information on because noone wants to believe that they aren't entitled to come and see baby, as surely working at the hospital I'm giving birth in gives me special privileges
I'm sorry you've had that with you FIL. I've had the same issue tbh. How did you get round it?
yay that’s brilliant news! If I was in your position I would’ve done the sameThank you! The midwife came round this morning to ask what I had decided and I said no more of the induction process, I’d like a C-section.
She was more than happy & said she would speak to the consultant to get him to come round today to make a plan
I’m glad you have also been able to go for what you want this time! Hope they don’t give you a hard time when asking for it!
I’ve only seen the consultant once so far and she tried to say no but I’ve got a birth reflections appointment with a birth trauma midwife this week and I’m hoping she will help advocate for me.
I don’t want anyone visiting me in hospital other than my husband and maybe my mum! I don’t know why people need to see a new born baby INSTANTLY
Consultant came round, seemed a bit ‘hmm’ about my persistence for a C-section but agreed. However because of only 1 episode of reduced movements in the last 8 weeks (2 others were pre 30weeks) she said there isn’t a rush.
So if the scan today looks ok it will be booked for 39+, if it doesn’t look ok it’ll be a C-section asap depending on what the issue is.
Still haven’t had any morning monitoring & tempted to ask if I can come in daily to be monitored as all their mentions of still birth to me has now instilled more fear
So if the scan today looks ok it will be booked for 39+, if it doesn’t look ok it’ll be a C-section asap depending on what the issue is.
Still haven’t had any morning monitoring & tempted to ask if I can come in daily to be monitored as all their mentions of still birth to me has now instilled more fear
Exactly this. I get newborn cuddles are amazing but they're a privilege and should not be expected. I'm so glad that the policies post covid haven't changed too much at the hospital im booked in at for visiting so we have that time just the two of us and can tell people no without us sounding like a problem.
Although I bet when baby is here all we want to do is show her off
but then it'll be our choice and not someone elsesWhen we had out daughter last year, we didn't tell anyone she was born until we were home from the hospital. Doing the same with this one as well. Sorry, but no. Just me and my husband for this.
I am dreading what my in laws are going to be like when I'm in labour. I'm getting a real sense of entitlement from them already.
I just want it to be me and my partner there as I'll have enough on my plate without having to make conversation with anyone else. But I just know they'll be constantly wanting updates and tbh he can deal with that, I'm going to be busy
They're already complaining about how often they will get to see her, when my family will hardly see her at all due to location. I wish they'd think before they complain about not having their grandchild on their doorstep
I just want it to be me and my partner there as I'll have enough on my plate without having to make conversation with anyone else. But I just know they'll be constantly wanting updates and tbh he can deal with that, I'm going to be busy
They're already complaining about how often they will get to see her, when my family will hardly see her at all due to location. I wish they'd think before they complain about not having their grandchild on their doorstep
Same! I'm only having my husband... nobody else is coming to visit me or 'help'
My parents had to come by (briefly) for my first baby because we were in a little while born a bit early and one midwife VERY loudly divulged a load of private medical information about me in front of them and another one kept shouting at me to put a condom full of frozen water in my pants to help with the stitches, waving it about right in front of their faces
the good thing is that my husband absolutely cannot stand his own dad so he deals with his bullOh my goodness. I couldn't imagine anything worse. I've had to specify 2 birth partners (one incase the first can't get there for some reason) and then the visiting is restricted to one person of my choice, so will be baby's dad. It's been a nightmare passing that information on because noone wants to believe that they aren't entitled to come and see baby, as surely working at the hospital I'm giving birth in gives me special privileges
I'm sorry you've had that with you FIL. I've had the same issue tbh. How did you get round it?
i swear my husband spent the whole pregnancy screaming at his own dad & sister at least once a week for being weird and crossing boundaries.one thing i regret is letting people come over so early on while i was still recovering. baby was born on the 15th, 19th was my birthday so i had my in laws over (husband and i were staying with my family). imagine being 4 days pp and having to pretend to care about anything else other than ur baby - i couldn't care less about my birthday, felt like my entire perineum was numb & on fire at the same time (couldn't sit at all), and ended up crying in my room bc i felt like my baby was getting taken away from me and got hit with the worst pp blues.
ladies, pls stand up for yourselves bc you and your baby are the only ones that matter. no one else's feelings or thoughts should come before yours.
100% agree with this and it’s my advice to everyone after going through this with my first! It’s my OHs birthday 3 days after my daughter’s and we used his birthday as an opportunity to have people round to meet her. Get it over and done with we thought and stop the drip feed of visitors over a few weeks. Anyway I was exactly the same as you, ended up taking myself off and crying my eyes out. This time my husband is under strict instructions to ‘just say no’ to ANYONE who asks to visit until at least a week after delivery.the good thing is that my husband absolutely cannot stand his own dad so he deals with his bull
one thing i regret is letting people come over so early on while i was still recovering. baby was born on the 15th, 19th was my birthday so i had my in laws over (husband and i were staying with my family). imagine being 4 days pp and having to pretend to care about anything else other than ur baby - i couldn't care less about my birthday, felt like my entire perineum was numb & on fire at the same time (couldn't sit at all), and ended up crying in my room bc i felt like my baby was getting taken away from me and got hit with the worst pp blues.
ladies, pls stand up for yourselves bc you and your baby are the only ones that matter. no one else's feelings or thoughts should come before yours.
i can’t believe people have the audacity and are selfish enough to want to come over/to hospital and ask to visit baby when women go through so much!!
I think I’m in the minority haha, after my first we dropped by my in laws on the way back from the hospital to show her off, and then had a steady stream of visitors in the days afterwards, and I loved having all our closes friends and family over to visit, BUT all our visitors were respectful, didn’t overstay their welcome, helped out by making food/walking the dog/putting the washing on etc, and didn’t just sit down for cuddles and expect to be waited on, and despite having a second degree tear my birth was relatively straightforward. I can imagine if anyone of those things was different I’d have felt slightly different!!!
This is my worry. My MIL has already been giving all the reasons she needs to come round. So I can have a bath, so I can get housework done, so I have some company. I've had to say 'I need to learn to be on my own with my child' and me and your son will be absolutely fine I am sure.I am dreading what my in laws are going to be like when I'm in labour. I'm getting a real sense of entitlement from them already.
I just want it to be me and my partner there as I'll have enough on my plate without having to make conversation with anyone else. But I just know they'll be constantly wanting updates and tbh he can deal with that, I'm going to be busy
They're already complaining about how often they will get to see her, when my family will hardly see her at all due to location. I wish they'd think before they complain about not having their grandchild on their doorstep
Worst bit is it sounds like the in-laws is gonna come round and sit there expecting to hold a baby whilst I run around after them (they never come alone!).
My hubby is the youngest son, so I don't think she sees him as the grown up he is. And we've never been given free reign around our niece and nephew on that side so they've never seen how he is with kids (which is amazing because our niece and nephew from my side adore him and he cares so deeply for them), so they think he won't be any help. Sounds like his dad wasn't very involved in caring for a baby when he was growing up too, he recently admitted that he never changed a nappy
.I get it's exciting to have a grandchild coming into the world, gosh I was a nightmare sitting waiting for my sister to get in touch when she was pregnant with both my niece and nephew, but I am sick of people making it about their wishes and their requirements now.
I’m really taken aback. Like, I’m probably being hormonal and dramatic but I was discussing with my partner should I be more open about induction and he basically was like HE can’t be arsed with all the waiting about that can happen after it, HE will be bored and could he just come home until things start. Honestly after being so open about how scared I am RE induction and birth/being in hospital in general I feel like somebodies ripped my stomach out through my chest. Didn’t realise I was marrying such a selfish a and I’m so surprised I can’t work out where this has come from.
Oh that’s awful I’m sorry he’s reacting that way
Not what you need when you’re already scared! I don’t think you’re being dramatic especially if you’ve expressed how you feel towards birth & everything that comes with it.
Definitely mention how you feel about induction to the midwives/doctors when you go in & they will reassure you. Have you got a date for it?
Sorry he's made you feel so crappy
is there a chance he was (clumsily) trying to make you feel better about not wanting an induction by saying why he doesn't want it either, as a sort of solidarity thing? It might be that he's got his head in the clouds and hasn't clocked onto how scared you are despite you telling him, or it might be that he's scared too (on your behalf and because labour can be scary for birth partners) and he's found a really insensitive way of expressing things? Maybe go and do something nice and relaxing on your own and then try talking to him again to let him know how hurt and scared you are 
This was exactly the situation! Crossed wires. Him being tit with what he was trying to say and me being overly sensitive. We talked it out, I had a bath and a cuppa and alls right lol. I think I’m just so in my feelings cos I’m so fed up, tired and shitting myself for birthSorry he's made you feel so crappy
Bit of a strange one - does anyone here have/had a needy and high-activity dog before having a baby? How did you introduce the dog to the baby? What safety measures did you put in place? I haven't done any reading or research into it yet and I thought I might ask about people's personal experiences 
I have a fox terrier x poodle so he can be pretty full on at times and it used to being the centre of attention. Also, he spends a bit of time with my mum's dog and they go ballistic together -it's great cos they get lots of energy out and love to play but it is FULL ON.
I have a fox terrier x poodle so he can be pretty full on at times and it used to being the centre of attention. Also, he spends a bit of time with my mum's dog and they go ballistic together -it's great cos they get lots of energy out and love to play but it is FULL ON.- Status