Pregnancy #45

[loveanatter]

Another morning waking up overdue

 

[Tifastrife]

Just got our travel system aaaah it’s real now

 

[pink_lemonade]

I’m really sorry if I didn’t make it clear but she said I was the big one, I moved to the side cos she was looking to get past me, it was a tight squeeze so she goes ‘make room for a big one’ as she passed me, I snapped, I wouldn’t of snapped if she hadn’t of called me the big one!

 

[TheSilverFox]

So I’m 20+4 and I’ve definitely felt less movement since yesterday, to the point I haven’t felt anything today. I called my midwife and she isn’t working today so told me to go to the hospital to be checked.. well, the midwife that saw me could not have been any more obvious that she saw me as an inconvenience. “We wouldn’t even invite you in this early” and “is there a reason you couldn’t see your midwife”. EVERYTHING online says to call immediately for reduced movements, but now I feel like I’ve been a massive drama queen. She also told me they aren’t concerned by about reduced movements until 28 weeks?!
Baby is fine anyway, thank god.

My unit say it's not until around 28ish weeks that the baby has a pattern that's recognisable and that it's normal earlier on to feel movement sporadically. I think they'd be the same re going in at 20 weeks to be checked, but I'm not sure what else they expected you to do really... you called your midwife and then you followed her instructions which were to go in Bit ridiculous/rude of them to be condescending when all you did was follow a medical professionals advice. Plus, as you say, google it and it says go in. If they don't want to monitor for reduced movements at 20-24 weeks (for example) they need to tell you that and have some instructions/information written on your notes about what to do.

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Thank you
I haven’t tried this but it sounds brilliant, I’ll definitely be giving this a go! Xx

Another variant of that is write down your worries and then write down how you control them. It’s a tip I got from a friend with OCD

For me that really helped to contextualise that worrying that the baby won’t like me isn’t something I can do anything about and similar to the other method it means you get those thoughts out of your head and onto paper.

Have you been doing any mindfulness? I swear by headspace to help me sleep when thoughts are never ending and they do day time bits and bobs too. It’s a bit of a learning curve but when you can get your mind focused it might give you a little bit of space from those feelings.

I would definitely mention it to your midwife to see if there’s any services you can access that might help like talking services. It’s naff when you get stuck in those thought patterns!
—
Still in hospital here, no further bleeds except a tiny bit of mucus plus and had a semi decent nights sleep but now utterly convinced I don’t want an induction after the two ladies in my bay definitely got a UTI so I’m on tablet antibiotics but there doesn’t seem to be a reason for the bleeding that anyone can think of hoping I can pin a doctor down before I go but I feel a bit of a fraud

 

[disillusionedbythegram]

I have my glucose test tomorrow and I’m already panicking about not being able to eat until midday. I normally have my breakfast by 7am

 

[Ro98]

How do others manage their anxiety during pregnancy?
I thought once I got to 3rd trimester it may improve knowing they have a better chance / closer to due date etc.
But I feel like it’s got worse?? All I can think of is how amazing it will be to finally hold him & although it’s now only 10 weeks away it still seems so far I think it’s all so real with having everything in the house / starting to organise etc but obviously he isn’t here yet so it still feels a bit scary.
I’m trying to do some breathing exercises a few times a day and this does help, keep busy when I have energy and then find in my resting times he’s either quiet (so I worry) or going mad then I worry that he’s unhappy or distressed
This has turned more into an emotional brain dump so maybe I’m not looking for answers just somewhere to let it out
I moved our 4D scan to tonight so hopefully that can reassure me a bit, I think I’m finding the long gap between 20 week scan to 36 weeks SO hard as it seems like a waiting/hoping game.

 

[Tifastrife]

Why are they all so unlikable this year man? I’m struggling to stay interested I don’t like anyone. Samie is the best one but she’s not exactly entertaining she’s just nice and not cringe.

 

[calmyourritas]

Really sorry if I’m being stupid, but I can’t see the button for the wiki, how do I find it? 🫣 Wanted to see the hospital bag list again.

I don’t know where it has disappeared to, that’s weird?

My original list is here:

Pregnancy #39 No hanky panky only kicks in the fa…

Does anyone have any hospital bag recommendations please? Or must haves? Or things that you took but didn’t need? basically, someone tell me what to do please 😂 My comment was really long so I’ve put it in spoilers for those who don’t want to read haha

tattle.life

 

[Spencerskates]

Thank you all, I’ll give them a call. I feel like they’ll tell me it’s fine with how early I am in my pregnancy, but it’s just niggling at me after feeling him move so much!

 

[WhatABore]

TW-

Feel totally fed up! Had my appointment at the breast clinic for the patch of skin where the pores look larger. First consultant said didn’t look like anything sinister… no other symptoms ect. Likely a pregnancy related matter. Went for ultrasound…. Lady doing it said she can see thickened skin and really unusually she could see my pores on the ultrasound…but she doesn’t often see pregnant ladies. she said they would be looking for inflammatory breast cancer but my other symptoms and the fact it’s got no worse doesn’t point to it…. Thankfully it’s got alittle better over time.
Back to consultant he said I have two options to leave it and see what it does or take biopsy today. I opted for biopsy, as I just want to know. After biopsy he said he would be expecting it to come back all clear and just this symptom alone isn’t a sign of cancer. That he suggested biopsy just to rule anything sinister out so I can forget about it all. I feel totally totally confussed…. Logically surely it’s a good thing the biopsy was optional today, and that he can see no other signs…but the sonographer comments threw me off! Feel like I’m living in waiting for bad news all the time and for everything to come crashing down.

I would tend to go with what the consultants said.
And as you said yourself, the sonographer said she didn't see many pregnant women.
There's so many breast changes during pregnancy so it is hard to compare them to a normal breast.
If they were worried with what they saw, they would have done a biopsy and not let you choose

 

[Cjh78]

I second wearing a liner as then you can see the exact colour quickly & it will reassure you a little bit. I had this wetness (and still do at 28wks) and it’s the same night and day. The liners help me to quickly glance at it and feel a bit of relief. It can be so worrying in those early days but totally normal in my experience x

Thank you ladies, that’s a really good tip!
Pregnancy after loss is definitely an emotional rollercoaster!

 

[xoxo GG]

Both started the process before midday yesterday (I think one started Tuesday evening) and they’ve been in so much pain constantly - just sounds really unpleasant! Plus the midwives have had to check dilation etc multiple times, which due to past experiences I find really uncomfortable to even think about.

It’s worth remembering everybody has a different pain threshold, expresses that pain differently and what bothers them may not bother you. You can also refuse a VE at anytime.

ETA induction can be a long, drawn out process depending on how ‘ready’ your body is but in my experience as I’ve mentioned previously I much preferred my induction to my natural birth, I felt it was much more controlled, I actually felt much more at ease and my pain was able to be controlled much easier because my progression was slower. Every experience is individual and their birth story won’t be yours x

 

[Spencerskates]

That’s a bit judgemental lol. How do you know they were teens? I’m 28 and look about 15 lol

I know, I said I knew I was being judgemental and I didn’t say it aloud. She was talking about sitting her GCSEs so I made an educated guess. Of course, she could have been resitting them as an okder

It wasn't though.
It was a dig a young mums. Like they don't already face enough judgement. There's a girl on here who was young and posted for advice. It just defeats the object.
As a previously young mum. It gets my back up how quickly people are to judge because of their age.
I'm 30 and still get judged for having my first child young. I am still judged for looking "young" so I don't think it defused any tension. Age doesn't come into being a parent. I've seen amazing mums at 16 and shit mums at 36.

I know, I think when you’re pregnant you’re at risk of being judged no matter how old you are. I’ve been judged for being an ‘older’ Mum too. I didn’t mean to imply that I thought she would be a shit mum just because she was young, so I apologise if it came across like that.

 

[WhatABore]

I’m really sorry if I didn’t make it clear but she said I was the big one, I moved to the side cos she was looking to get past me, it was a tight squeeze so she goes ‘make room for a big one’ as she passed me, I snapped, I wouldn’t of snapped if she hadn’t of called me the big one!

I've near heard anyone use that phrase to talk about someone other than themselves before

 

[Savewaterdrinkgin]

Thank you all, I appreciate the reassurance. I didn’t take my notes as it was a rushed trip so I haven’t got anything written down at all. I guess I could ask my midwife or doctor to write a note as it’ll likely be on my files now, but I don’t feel like I should have to for one day! It’s my first day off too considering I suffered awful nausea for the first 2 months I’ve done pretty well! My boss is the biggest C*** I’ve ever met I’m glad it’s not just me seeing it
---

I think it’s because they don’t believe my reason for being off work so wanted to ‘catch me out’ I’ve been bullied by these people since the day I told them I’m pregnant! I’m now weighing up if the maternity pay package is worth all this stress. I work in a school and yes UK.

 

[Belle Amie]

I’m really sorry if I didn’t make it clear but she said I was the big one, I moved to the side cos she was looking to get past me, it was a tight squeeze so she goes ‘make room for a big one’ as she passed me, I snapped, I wouldn’t of snapped if she hadn’t of called me the big one!

You’ve snapped at her wrote that she’s bigger and you looked at her belly while you said it. Whether you physically fat shamed her or not you’ve used fat shaming language in your post. You don’t know how people here look or feel and that can be triggering for a lot of people. That’s what’s annoyed people here, pregnancy hormones are not an excuse to be rude.

 

[Tired of this crap]

I think having a conversation with your partner ahead of time helps with the boundary thing. If you end up staying in hospital at all your partner is often the one who can field the calls and messages from people/tell them you’re not ready to have visitors. I find it easier for my husband to say ‘she’s not feeling up to it’ rather than say it to people myself!

My MIL wanted to do a three hour round trip to visit the hospital for ‘ten mins’ when my eldest was born it actually makes me laugh at how ridiculous that suggestion was because my first baby was a little early and got taken to NICU and I’d had forceps etc… neither of us was in any state to have a visit from interfering granny! My MIL ended up not being too overbearing in the end and I think my husband being firm had a lot to do with it.

I really don’t understand why people are in such a rush to meet babies. I think it’s a status thing so they can boast on Facebook to their friends ‘oh yes I held her THE MINUTE SHE WAS BORN!!’ I’m never interested in newborn babies, they don’t exactly do much

 

[shhh1712]

I would highly recommend dr Sarah wickham’s article about gd and how it impacts pregnancy and birth care.

Thank you for this, I’ve had a brief read of one of her articles and am making my way through a few more but one of them said something like ‘GD turns a happy pregnant woman into an anxious and stressed woman’ and this has really resonated with me, it’s affected my MH so much and if I eat something that gives me a high number I feel awful and selfish! It’s interesting to read what they’re saying about the research too, I do feel it’s really dated and how can everyone be given the same target numbers when they don’t know your history and take factors of your life into account before giving you these

 

[Nosysamsie]

Just need to vent haven't felt much movement out of baba since yesterday (still the odd kick but nothing like her general party in the evening before bed) rang MAU this morning for a bit of advice to be told they don't routinely scan at 22 weeks (which is fair enough) and just basically get my breakfast and ring later on "if I want". She was really dismissive tbh and it would put me off ringing again as I felt more of a hindrance than anything else. Basically ended up crying when I hung up the phone as I hadn't felt listened to at all - melodramatic pregnant woman alert not sure why I'm even posting this, just needed to get it out of my system.

As awful as it sounds could it have been handover time? Ring back after breakfast and see if a change of staff from night to day has a different attitude. I know that when I've rang my local assessment at classic handover times they've been quite dismissive (probably because they wanna go home).
Don't let being an NHS worker stop you utilising the service. You're not gonna be able to settle your mind until you have been seen & know what's going on so ring again