Pregnancy #45

[calmyourritas]

Keith, is a beautiful name for a boy

I’m quite partial to a Norris

 

[xoxo GG]

Boundary talk

When I had my 3yo, my in laws were on my doorstep when I got home at 8:30pm after being in hospital for days, I was sore, I just wanted to try and establish breastfeeding and relax. But there they were, they then didn’t leave until just before midnight and I had nothing but criticism, put the heating on, she needs a hat, wouldn’t it just be easier to give her a bottle then I can feed her too etc. Her wardrobe was rearranged, because I’d ‘done it wrong.’ Expected drinks to be made for them, because you know, we hadn’t just had a baby or anything. Didn’t hand back baby when she was crying.

This then continued for 5 days until I rang my dad in tears to get them to leave my house because I felt smothered and at that point MrGG just thought it was helpful without realising what it was doing to my mental health. They constantly turned up without invitation, commented on our house being a little untidy (of course it was we’d just brought home a newborn) and the constant comparisons to what they did in their day was absolutely unbearable.

With babyGG we completely cut visitors out from coming to us initially. We went to them (which isn’t for everybody but I had a very quick labour, straightforward birth and I felt absolutely fine to do that) but having said that if I had tore badly again or needed an emergency section, our plan was to invite people when we were all ready as it’s a big transition for a 3yo as well. We just said from the beginning to family members you’ll be welcome to visit for half an hour but we will let you know when that is.

I have to admit I do now more often than not respond quite sarcastically to the comparisons in what we do now to what people did then, normally a little comment like oh yes because science and research hasn’t developed in the 30 years since you last had a newborn etc. I don’t justify my choices to anybody, I just now say that suited baby best and that suits me best. I’m not scared now to go and take my baby away from a family member if he’s crying and they initially don’t offer to hand him over, I just go and take him. It’s hard but I really think it’s so much easier to set those boundaries before baby is here when there’s less emotion involved. This time around I didn’t give a shit if it caused upset, my attitude was you either want to respect what I’m asking or you don’t want to see the baby, either suited me.

 

[Tifastrife]

Blah. My sister has organised a baby shower for me and maybe I’m hormonal and over emotional but my family are moaning or saying they’re not coming because it’s not “local enough”. It’s 3 miles away, a 13 minute drive according to Google. My sister is organising and coming from over an hour away.
I’ve even offered those who don’t drive a lift home. Silence. So I sent a message yesterday evening that I get quite hurt that it was being treated as an inconvenience. What I really wanted to say in my moment of rage was if you cba coming to the baby shower don’t bother coming around when babies here, but I realise I was being extra and dramatic and refrained . Nobody has even bothered to reply to the message.

I just feel like I’ve been the family member always running around visiting people, arranging get togethers and phoning everyone all the time and nobody can be arsed to make the 13 minute journey for this, it bloody hurts.
Sorry for the long post

 

[WeepingCassandra]

Hello everyone! I am very excited and hopefully not going to jinx things by coming to this thread! We have been TTC for pretty much a year now. I'm 37, this (if all goes well), will be my first pregnancy ever.

I tested yesterday and today so literally only 4 weeks pregnant so aware anything can happen at this stage. Just looking for some advice going forward if possible? Is there a thread for complete beginners or anyone at the same stage?

I am excited but completely panicking after going down holes of doom and gloom Googling things. I haven't even told my OH yet - barely seen each other due to work schedules so going to tell him tomorrow when we are both off

Best advice... don't google anything. Don't listen to anything anyone says on Facebook/Instagram/TikTok either. 95% of it is duff advice, scaremongering or motivated by money.

If you can afford it, I'd consider booking a reassurance scan once you're definitely past 6 weeks, it definitely helped my anxiety

 

[FatherJackHackett]

Just need to vent haven't felt much movement out of baba since yesterday (still the odd kick but nothing like her general party in the evening before bed) rang MAU this morning for a bit of advice to be told they don't routinely scan at 22 weeks (which is fair enough) and just basically get my breakfast and ring later on "if I want". She was really dismissive tbh and it would put me off ringing again as I felt more of a hindrance than anything else. Basically ended up crying when I hung up the phone as I hadn't felt listened to at all - melodramatic pregnant woman alert not sure why I'm even posting this, just needed to get it out of my system.

 

[workaholic1]

Hiiii congratulations! This is my experience… I’m only around 7/8 weeks (not sure on dates as they think I may have ovulated quite late) but recently I had the same, really bad cramping in front and my back, that I had to take painkillers and then I started light bleeding with pink and some red but only when I wiped. Someone on here said to use a pad overnight so I could track how much bleeding which was helpful! I then was also super worried so paid for a private scan when I was 5/6 weeks and they found a yolk sak but no fetal pole and said it’s either a non viable pregnancy or too early to see, and referred me to the early pregnancy unit at my local hospital. 3 days later I went in and they did another scan and found a heartbeat! The bleeding had stopped and they said it was likely a late implantation bleed I know it’s so worrying tho and can really understand how scary it is, but I really recommend ringing your local early pregnancy unit as they can check for you if everything’s okay (but be mindful they might not be able to see anything until further on as was my case). Try keep yourself occupied so you’re not worrying 24/7 and warm baths and paracetamol should help cramps

I had some dark red blood earlier with a small clot so it’s not looking the best. I’m so early so just going to see what happens in the next few days

 

[WotsitG1]

Thanks all for this evening. All was fine, feel so much better. They were really lovely! He’s tucked himself into a strange postion but all is looking fine

 

[themuffinwoman]

I’m 36 weeks now and the movements are crazy!! No judging at ALL and interest if this has happened to anyone….but makes me wonder HOW people don’t know they’re pregnant until they give birth!

Tell me about it. I’m 29 weeks, I’ve got a faint linea negra, looking absolutely whale-like, the worst back ache of my life and got stuck in the bath because I got in the narrow bit (like I normally do) and got wedged in.

TMI but I also created so much suction with my giant butt the plug came out of the plug hole and took me ages to realise the water was draining

 

[Ro98]

We had the 4D scan and it was so lovely to see his little nose, big lips & yawns
Has definitely lifted my spirits, and he is still firmly nestled into my pelvis which would explain all the weird sensations I’ve been having.
Would recommend to anyone thinking of it, quite expensive but he might be our only baby so trying to soak it all up.
Will definitely look at some positive birth affirmations as well and make myself a pack x

 

[wakametango 3.0]

I don’t think we need to say no advice but use your own judgement when taking advice from others - checking with your trust about what is acceptable for a GTT or when to call about reduce movements for example, as like you say every trust is different which makes it hard to know you’re saying the correct thing anyway. We are all just trying to find little ways to muddle our way through pregnancy and not end up down a Google hole.

Please can someone help me with really bad heartburn though it’s got so bad in the last few days, every time I eat it just burns and I feel so acid-y. Overnight has been the hardest I’m taking Gaviscon as and when I need to but does anyone else have any tips? I did try a glass of milk but not sure that did much 🫠

I don’t know if I’m allowed to say but omeprazole worked for me
I told the GP receptionist I didn’t even want an appointment just call me once it was prescribed
Disclaimer: I don’t know your medical background so please check with a medical professional before using

 

[Luisa18]

Who needs 90 day fiancé when you have the tattle pregnancy thread!

*nosecco, obviously

 

[Ro98]

I think everyone needs to chill out. Starting a pile on over 1 comment is unnecessary.

 

[WordsFromReuben]

Now I actually have to name a child I haven’t seen a single name I like even names I always liked before I’ve gone off! Anyone else felt like this?

 

[Borntorun]

Those who have other children - how long before you had the world on your doorstep?

First time round, my parents arrived the next day, brought pizza with them, left after about an hour. My in laws came three weeks later (but them coming involves flights etc as they’re abroad)

With my second baby, my dad came the day after, my mum came three days after and the in laws came six weeks after.

I will say - I don’t think it’s how soon after baby is born that makes the difference, I think it’s the length of visit. So for me, I found it best to say can you come at 6 and pick up a takeaway on the way. Then after you’ve eaten, you can say I’m really tired,i want to make a move towards bed. Then visitors are satisfied they’ve seen a new baby, I haven’t had to cook, and the visit was short and sweet. The problem really is visitors that stay hours and hours.

 

[loveanatter]

Just lurking back here… as I sit here with my 2 week old, a little reminder that even on the tough days it’s worth it in the end
Hope you’re all doing ok

 

[JulesC]

Any tips for sinus infection in early pregnancy? I’m around 8 weeks and it’s agony! The only positive is that it’s taking my mind of my nausea

Hi, I’m new to this thread as only found out I was pregnant on Valentine’s Day over the moon but really suffering with sinusitis. Do get the Sterimar nasal spray - I just bought the decongestant one, it’s a bit gross but does help and is better than any of the other saline sprays. I used it in my last pregnancy.

For those saying about pains etc early on, I’m only about 5 weeks and keep thinking I’m going to come on my period, I had pulling pains in my womb yesterday but I’m trying to see that and this awful sinus pain as good signs. I’ve had miscarriages in the past but this time feels different so I’m trying to remain hopeful and will book an early scan soon.

 

[WordsFromReuben]

Has anyone dreaded telling people they are pregnant? I’m pretty much the last out of my family and friends to have a baby and some of them have had negative experiences and I’m just dreading the negative opinions and comments! Makes me feel anxious, I’m enjoying being in my positive bubble at the moment but can’t hide it forever..

 

[jackolantern]

If someone claims to be a long since qualified midwife and isn't, it puts you all in danger if/when you follow their advice. That isn't mumsnet-y, it is common sense. As new/expectant mothers you are vulnerable to this kind of shit and people trying to look out for you isn't out to get others (except maybe the fraud seemingly lying to you by their own post history).

 

[WhatABore]

Lying about being a midwife on a pregnancy thread is dangerous though.

If they were to give you information or advice and you listen, presuming they're a midwife, then that's dangerous!

 

[Very traditional]

Has anyone dreaded telling people they are pregnant? I’m pretty much the last out of my family and friends to have a baby and some of them have had negative experiences and I’m just dreading the negative opinions and comments! Makes me feel anxious, I’m enjoying being in my positive bubble at the moment but can’t hide it forever..

I didn’t really enjoy telling people, I don’t like being the centre of attention and feel really awkward about stuff so kind of kept it to myself as long as I could Also not having a baby shower much to the disgust of my friends, I honestly can’t think of anything worse!