Phoebe Court @swfeebs #2 Want a lecture? You're in the right place, brace yourself for a boob in the face

[Theyallneedarealitycheck]

I’ve just filled in the questionnaire for my child’s 2.5 year review. I don’t have concerns about my child, admitted they’re not toilet trained yet when we’re out and about but other than that I think all is fine. However, I am not a health care professional. Although at child 1s review I was told they were overweight (they weren’t and a different HV was quite annoyed we were told they were!) that’s probably why she’s refused. What do you feed your child? Well, she’s an eating machine so 10” pizza, fish and chips, ice cream, same size meals and my (overweight) husband and I...

 

[EnoughAlready]

Allowed? Are you joking?
My god.

Jesus Christ the pedants are out tonight aren’t they, “allowed” as in not advised against, if that’s makes you happy chops.

 

[Donutlover]

Pleased for her, but prepare yourselves - this homebirth will make her next level smug.

 

[justfortonight]

‘Us on the sofa 1.5 hours after herbie was born.’ Smh, what is it a damn race? Quick, sew my fanny up toot sweet I’ve got to get on that sofa ASAP to get a photo for the gram!

I understand you can’t actually have stitches after a home birth by the way, actually I don’t understand shit, I had two incredibly medicated c-sections in a hospital but you know

 

[Opalfruit8]

Carbys reply

 

[Elliebellie]

I’m sorry but this woman is a danger to other people. No doubt someone else will pass on their child’s review because of her stupid post and something will be missed. She has no concerns.. great but is she an occupational therapist? A speech therapist? A physio? A childhood development specialist? She is to totally undermining the Expertise of the health visit nurse, just because SHE thinks there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with Vesper Doesn’t mean that she’s reached all of her milestones and has no delays or areas of concerns. She will 100% be one of those mums whose child is ‘picked on’ by teachers if they give her a bad report

 

[Riddlemethis]

I actually quite like Vesper but I don’t like it when she calls her Vessie

Same. Vesper is unusual but a nice name, Vessie is awful.
They’ll have a ridiculous name for him. Little baby Ebeneezer Von Zebedee or something. Neezie for short

 

[Eye_roll_central]

I went to my daughters 2 year check today. I actually enjoyed it! Watching my daughter do things for someone else was lovely to watch, doing puzzles and drawing etc! Was nice to get her weighed as I don’t go to a weigh in clinic with her (2nd child syndrome ) the HV also asked about how we are as a family, asked about her older sister and checked we were all doing ok. So no Feebs it isn’t just a checklist against what they can and can’t do, the HV actually said they can’t fail anything as it isn’t a test. Someone may need some extra help but see Feebs story and think actually I won’t go as I don’t want my child to fail/me be judged it’s actually quite dangerous giving non trained advice like that to so many followers

 

[WomenAreFromVenus]

My eyes! My eyes! Not only are we treated to a practically naked picture of Feebs, we got an even more obscene one of Jim!! He looks 9 months pregnant himself in that picture

 

[Anotherct]

As I said before - it’s Jim that is well off, not her. She’s openly said they don’t share money. But this is again why I hate social media. She appears to be well off (big house etc) but she said they have a massive mortgage and a lot went on credit. Please don’t be fooled by what people post on social media. Just because the ring appears big - topshop will sell the exact same ring but cubic zirconia .

 

[Beadyeye]

Like bloody Mick Hucknall with that tooth gem

 

[Theyallneedarealitycheck]

Oh just cock off with your earth mother hypnobirthing bollocks you sanctimonious prick. You do know the baby can’t read your birth plan right?

 

[antisocialmedia]

Lord here she goes with all the hypnobirthing again
‘I just feel like it should be in antenatal classes or something’
Well when Bojo gives the NHS the 350m that was promised in Brexit il mention it to the RCM that we need hypnobirthing in our antenatal sessions that we run for new parents to be in our trust because ginger nips said so along with everything else we have to do.

Wish she would have this baby and shut the fuck up.

She will be getting her ginger tits out soon enough

DYYYYYYYYING

She's not doing very well holding back the years, she looks around 50,

 

[Mum123]

Here we go again. It’s your body! Do what you want, don’t listen to silly doctors and midwives!!! No one can tell you what to do, BMI carries no risks blah blah! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Stop telling people to ignore professionals just because you do and think you know best. You don’t. Your advice is dangerous you stupid cow!

 

[justfortonight]

Long time lurker.
First time commenter!

I’ve tried not to comment for months well because of my job but tonight’s comments on her stories have fucked me off something rotten.

qualified MW here and her comments and her fuck all knowledge on midwifery piss me right off. Midwives don’t just spend 3 years at university then a following 12-24 months on a preceptorship for some one who’s read a few books and given birth once preach about an evidence based degree that she knows fuck all about.

You go ahead hen and eat your dates and have your perineal massage and hypnobirth and don’t listen to your midwife because of course feebs knows best. You can plan all you want for your perfect birth and I’m so happy you got it the last time but stop trying to lure other women into a false sense of security that there birth will be plain sailing because who’s the woman going to blaim when your stupid obnoxious recommendations go wrong and she ends up with failure to progress and a cat 2 section and maybe piles for good measure.
Not you, but her midwife.
You stupid fucking arse.

Glad that’s off my chest

Also i just want to point out that I am in total support and advocate for women and it’s there birth, their choice and informed consent is so important, but there are evidence based guidelines and procedures we follow to the core to prevent maternal mortality for a reason.
Most of the vibes that I get from her posts is, please ignore all medical advice given because it’s your baby your birth and listen to moi because I am the font of all knowledge and of course have a medical degree in PREACH. It’s so dangerous and I would never in any circumstances listen to a ‘SW consultant’ on the gram.

Think I have over done it in comments tonight, I apologise.

Can I just thank you so much for this! Neither of my births went to plan.

My first was a cat 1 section, it was unbelievablely traumatic as a 25 year old, fit as a fiddle FTM. Nothing in my pregnancy had indicated this would happen. I hadn’t even had a dodgy blood test. But my daughters heart stopped beating. No amount of hypnobirthing would have rectified that. The first year of her life was spent in a PTSD haze, constantly reading the absolute tripe the likes of feebs post left me unable to leave the house. I was convinced it was all my fault.

My second, I thought I’d give the hypnobirthing a go. Did it work? Did it fuck. The trauma was far, far too engrained. I had another section. But I was awake and I saw my baby be born and that was really all I wanted.

I ate billions of dates, they had no effect whatsoever. Oh no tell a lie, the eased the pregnancy constipation a treat

I really wish she would stop this. It’s so dangerous and like you said, puts ALL the blame on women when their birth isn’t the dream come true they expected.

 

[antisocialmedia]

If she doesn’t call the kid Hucknall I’m not here for any of it.

Yamaha is my guess

 

[caitlinbullen]

Newsflash- You can communicate that you have mastitus without showing the world a photo of your tit. Put me right off my sausage sandwich that has.

Oh god! I've got an 18 month old and currently pregnant with number 2. Not going to lie, I'm shitting it now particularly since feebz (perfect mother) Court is actually admitting it's a struggle. Any advice welcome here ladies

I had 3 under the age of 5. My biggest piece of advice is to go easy on yourself. Lower your standards in terms of accepting the fact that if you all eat beans on toast for tea more often and go to softplay more than you'd like then the world won't end. It's a temporary, so find ways to make life easier on yourself. This too will pass. I wish I'd ordered more takeaways and expected less of myself,you know? You have their whole childhood to strive for excellence...at this stage focus relentlessly on things that keep you and kids happy (emotionally, physically...). It sounds simple but I think I definitlely focussed way too much on demonstrating to everyone (and myself) that I was nailing it and looking back, I placed weird expectations on myself that made things harder (everyone up and dressed by 9am, leaving the house every day for some kind of outing, TV only on at certain times of the day, everyone getting their 5-a-day, baby in own room by 3 months old....it was endless and I don't know what I was trying to prove?!) ....with hindsight I'd have stayed in PJs more, and chilled the fuck out!! Hope useful lol

 

[EnoughAlready]

Bloody Hello Fresh again!!! What’s with the sudden influx Fopperbollox, slimming world gem and now Herbster Hucknalls ma! This iNflUEnCer circus is just a merry go round of the same crap regurgitated isn’t it really! They can all bore off, it’s like watching QVC on repeat,

 

[Geordiegirl33]

Just about to say the same thing! If a medical professional is telling me not to do something as it will either harm my child or myself I will be fucking listening to them the silly bint!!!

Long time lurker. First time commenting .... having worked in maternity for 13 years - this comment she made about being told to do this or not that really annoyed me. Women are given informed choices about pregnancy and birth, but the will always recommend the safest option for mum and baby -just annoys me comments like .... she doesn’t know what she’s talking about!!!!

 

[Mum123]

Her fucking tits out already with her new level of smug face! Can’t stand her, and if you dare say anything about her having her tits out all you get is you’re the one with the problem cos it’s so normal and the most natural thing on earth. Yes it is. What’s not normal is her taking smug pictures of her breastfeeding, smiling into the camera (weird if you ask me?!) and posting them to thousands of people. We don’t need to see if!!! Sex is also normal, but we don’t need to see you and jim trying for baby 3 do we.
Of course the birth was perfect, of course she got up and carried on as if nothing had happened cos she’s the one and only supermum. Can’t wait till this comes crashing down on her!