Peaches Geldof and the Geldof family #3

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LByrne74

Yes a lot of the things said about in that documentary were totally OTT, hero worship, and a classic example of re-writing history with rose coloured glasses.
 
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PeteM

She was clearly a narcissist. And narcissists don't tend to make for the best mothers...
 
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CoconotLoco

Paula choose men and addictions over her kids, her generational trauma hinder her as a parent and her narcissist and self absorbed behaviour trump being a good parent.

I do think Peaches tried to be the parent and mother she never had to her sons, ultimately her addiction to drugs won, which always makes her ending more sad and a waste.

I don't think Fifi has this romanticised view of her mother like her sisters had she was older I believe she was 17 when her mum died so she saw and probably bore the brunt of a lot of her parents toxic behaviour.
 
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Doneuplikeadogsdinner

Flowerpotgirl said:
Good god what is wrong with these women?
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When I had my first child in 1995 I said I was not going to smack her . Therefore made really clear than any grandparents or uncles/ aunties could not smack her if looking after her . Not that they did that much .. very much on their request . Anyway this was met with loads of … she will be spoilt / she will be a nightmare . And actually she never has been … she is 27 , a gorgeous and kind human being . Anyway the point is .. it was actual unusual not to smack your kids in the mid 90’s
I think because I was 17 when I had her the memory of being smacked both at school and at home left such negativity I vowed I would never do that ….and I never have but initially huge criticisms and my parents smacked my sisters kids .. because she did
 
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Notworthy

I used to work on the railway and during training we were told that a massive red flag was someone removing their clothes. In a public place it might not be everything but certainly top layers, shoes etc. It is a well known phenomenon
 
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despair

Notworthy said:
I used to work on the railway and during training we were told that a massive red flag was someone removing their clothes. In a public place it might not be everything but certainly top layers, shoes etc. It is a well known phenomenon
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Yep I’m aware in certain cases, however it is a very low number in terms of actual suicide cases and therefore always relevant to the investigation, which is what PY then used to try and support a theory of auto asphyxiation. However they ruled it suicide given the circumstances. It’s been interesting to research and learn about. And it also in failed attempts is something to take very seriously regarding that persons state of mind and determination to see it through.
 
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cee-bee

I don’t think it was that usual to be smacked in the 90s. I was a kid then and even then I knew hitting kids was wrong.

I was smacked on a few occasions and even as a child I knew that it wasn’t ok or right. I was never smacked by grandparents or relatives, ever. My dad could be violent to my other siblings and I knew this was categorically not OK and it wasn’t hugely common. None of my friends were commonly smacked and I never witnessed it. I remember a family friend smacking their kid and it was pretty shocking. So I don’t think it was that commonplace although it was accepted.

It’s been unlawful to leave a bruise on a child since 1933. Guidance to these laws considers light bruises, cuts, grazes etc to be common assault against a child.

In 2004 it was made unlawful to smack a child unless it was “reasonable punishment” and the law was sufficiently vague to not be proscriptive, but definitely indicative of a shift in attitudes.

I don’t believe hitting a child is ever ok personally and I think even in the 90s it was still viewed as something that should be a last resort - but that’s just my own experience.
 
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bubblegum94

iirc he was running a bath/about to take a bath/just had a bath hence the nudity
 
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cee-bee

Notworthy said:
I used to work on the railway and during training we were told that a massive red flag was someone removing their clothes. In a public place it might not be everything but certainly top layers, shoes etc. It is a well known phenomenon
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Yes this is a phenomenon discussed in academia;


It’s also a noted phenomenon that self harm acts are often clothed, whereas suicides remove clothing;

Naked Suicide

Suicide attempts and completions by individuals while naked remain unexplored, both by clinicians and in the professional literature. Nakedness at the time of the incident conveys important information about an individual's mental state. Motivations for attempting or completing suicide while...
jaapl.org

really sad and horrible reading. I think it’s pretty obvious that MH was in a bad way the morning he died.
 
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IdeletedbutI'mbackagain

Yeah I'm 33, it was not okay when I was growing up.
 
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SkippyDoo

Also a personal view but smacking was firmly on its way out in the mid-90s IMO, was no longer “usual” and typically only seen from a non-abusive parent when they had totally lost their tether and were panicking at a kid running out into the road or something extreme, and even then don’t think it went down very well. I would have thought smacking a child in public for being a bit raucous would raise serious eyebrows as it sounds like it did when Paula did it.

I’m born 1980 and my parents made a point of not smacking me or my sister, and I think it was the 80s where the attitude to this began to really change.
 
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Trauma Frotters

I thought Michael was surrounded by photos of Paula when he was found which she argued as evidence of autoerotic asphyxiation rather than suicidal intent.
 
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cosmo girl

I think Tiger also resembles Bob They have similar looks which could explain why they look like Michael and Bob. I thought Michael was more the flirt in the 1985 interview and Paula in the BB interview. Maybe Paula didn't flirt as much because Bob was standing next to Michael in that 1985 interview.
 
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GalaxyGirl70

I was reading a few pages back about MH's head injury. About 10 years ago, I was pratting about in the garden with the kids on their water slide. I fell backwards and hit my back of my head on a bank in the garden which was rock solid (hot summer)... woke up to see the kids stood over me crying calling Mum hysterically. I stupidly got up, even though the pain was incredible and somehow got myself onto the sofa where I stayed until the next morning when I started throwing up. DH dragged me kicking and screaming to our GP who looked at me in utter horror and got an ambulance out. I was badly concussed, and can honestly say that it was the blackest period of my life. Like MH, I lost my taste and smell, and I couldn't fall asleep, my balance was affected... and my moods were horrific. I became horribly illogical. It took around 2 years to fully recover and that was with intense physio and a really good clinical pyschologist.

When I watched the documentary on MH, I felt so very sorry for him because it must have been horrendous to have had such a severe head injury like he did. And no wonder that his personality changed.
 
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cee-bee

Trauma Frotters said:
I thought Michael was surrounded by photos of Paula when he was found which she argued as evidence of autoerotic asphyxiation rather than suicidal intent.
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where have you heard that from?

here’s the inquest ruling;

“It has been suggested that the death resulted from an act of auto eroticism. However, there is no forensic or other evidence to substantiate this suggestion. I therefore, discount that manner of death.”

the inquest specifically ruled erotic asphyxiation out having specifically considered it. There was zero mention of any photos of Paula or anyone else, or indeed any evidence at all that there was anything erotic about it. Had there been photographs this would’ve been strong evidence to either a suicide or erotic asphyxiation, and given the absence of their mention I think it’s safe to assume that it’s because there wasn’t any.

That was pure spiel and conjecture put put out by Paula herself, for reasons known only to her. We can only make some good guesses and speculate as to why she would’ve wanted to deny the realities of Michael’s death.


The coroner also considered the moments and events leading to Michael’s death, which are strongly suggestive that he was in an erratic, emotional and depressive state.
 
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Panjo

I was born in 1981 and was smacked loads. In fact I was brought up in a toxic abusive household. I was screamed at by my mum and sometimes my dad. I was smacked by both of them. I was even slapped across the face by my dad once. They weren’t “bad people” they just didn’t have a clue. My mum has definitely got mental health problems and my dad just raised me the way he was. My mum used to say things to me like I’m a piece of shit, I’m a disgrace and I should be ashamed of myself. She was constantly throwing me and my sister out of the house. The mad thing is that I didn’t realise it was abusive. I thought most kids were brought up like this. I have smacked my own kids in the past, sometimes harder than i meant to and I’ve cried my eyes out over it and haven’t done it to them since. I’ve shouted at them loads but I’ve never said the things to them my mum said to me. I know I should have known it was abuse but I genuinely didn’t until I was around 30 and really started to question their parenting. I have arguments with my kids, they’re 18 and 16 now so I obviously don’t hit them or I’d expect to be hit back. I’ve had loads of arguments with them I won’t deny that, I guess I’m trying to say not everyone knows what abuse is, my husbands mother alienated him from his dad when he was a child and he still insists he made the decision himself and refuses to even acknowledge his mother was abusive to him. She also emotionally abused him too and made him do everything in the house, tidy up, her washing, shopping, decorating you name it he had to do it and even now that’s classed as abuse. When he showed emotion to his mother she would say “oh shut up you dick head, now he is emotionally bankrupt. I do try and break the abuse cycle but how can you when your husband won’t even accept he was abused? Like I say some people actually don’t have a clue what abuse is and I think everyone should be taught about it.
 
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