Hi, I posted in this thread almost a year ago now, and sadly things haven’t got any better, if anything they’ve got much worse
.
My step-son’s behaviour has worsened, and I’m
still terrified about him potentially hurting our baby (she’s 13 months old now).
He’s still as obsessed with blood/gore/murder, and repeatedly keeps saying “I want to kill someone”.
I saw a perinatal psychologist a few weeks ago, as I have terrible postnatal PTSD from my last birth, which is only getting worse, and sadly I also lost identical twin girls at 15 weeks pregnant back in November
, so as you can imagine, my mental health has really taken a bashing.
My psychologist feels that the stress and anxiety that I have with my step son has exacerbated my PTSD, and she was very concerned about what I had told her i.e. his behaviour, she said that it’s a huge safeguarding concern for my baby daughter (and my other 3 kids), and that she was making a social services referral.
His behaviour is totally out of control and completely unpredictable.
I can’t sleep properly when he is at our house, because I’m just waiting for him to burst into our bedroom screaming and shouting at silly O’clock , with his iPad on full blast.
Since I lost my twins, my sleep is terrible anyway, but when he is at ours, it’s 10 times worse
.
I’m in flight or fight constantly, and I can’t rest or relax in my own home.
My other kids go and hide at the their dads, and my baby can’t play properly because he constantly takes her toys off her and is up on her face screaming, or if she is just having a wander around, he is chasing her and bothering her.
He’s made sexual comments to her too, a few months ago, she was in her car seat and he squatted over her and asked her to touch his willy.
His mum is still allowing him to watch unsuitable online content which is obviously making his obsessions worse.
His diet is still very poor, and he is having diarrhoea every single day and complaining of belly ache.
He is constantly thirsty , so I would imagine that he is dehydrated.
My partner tries to have as much 1:1 time with him as he can, and is always taking him to the cinema or swimming, but I just seems to make his behaviour worse if anything, as he comes home and he is absolutely wired.
My partner is also very much in denial annoyingly, and doesn’t seem to see just how serious things are, even after I told him about my psychologist making the SS referral, he just seems very indifferent towards the situation.
In my opinion, he’s still very inconsistent with him (as I mentioned before), sometimes he’s strict with him, sometimes he’s not, if anything it feels like he hasn’t got the confidence to know how to handle him.
I think a lot of his son’s behaviour is attention seeking, for example the other day, he said “I love you daddy” 5 times in a row (I counted) and my partner ignored him, the next day he repeatedly said it again , and again no reply
.
My partner has told me many times, that his ex wife emotionally (and physically) neglected their son when he was little, she wouldn’t respond to his cries or ever hold him or cuddle him, and when my partner came home from work, he was in dirty nappies and had been left to his own devices, and would sometimes have unexplained bruises.
It’s all so heartbreaking, but I feel like my partner is also emotionally neglecting him, by not telling him he loves him and not giving him hugs, and also not giving him any boundaries either.
He was meant to FaceTime him on the weekends that he doesn’t have him, but he never ever does, despite it being in the plan that school had devised.
He also had an award chart that school had made, which is on our fridge and has never been used!! despite my his son being really excited to use it and understanding it really well.
I just feel like he is being let down on so many levels, and it feels like it’s me that’s trying to pick up the pieces to my own detriment.
My mental health is suffering for it, and I’m exhausted.
I haven’t heard anything from SS yet, and I’m feeling really anxious about it, not to mention guilty, but at the same time, I know it has to be done.