I have many bad date stories but I’ll share a couple of the funnier ones - I started chatting to a guy on a dating site and agreed to meet him for lunch. We met at a pub and he asked if he could hug me and then before I could answer he grabbed me in a sort of death grip (my arms were by my sides) and held on for way longer than was comfortable. I think he was also sniffing my hair.
He had a very thick Irish accent so was difficult to understand but the gist of his conversation was that he tried to be a gentleman and always pay for dinner but that no women wanted to see him after date 1. I definitely didn’t and so I was more than happy to pay for my meal! He got up and said he needed to go to the toilet, and I watched him go in the opposite direction to where the toilets were which I thought was a mistake, but then he just sort of stood behind a pillar. I got my phone out to text my flatmate about what a weirdo he was and then he sort of jumped out and came back to the table saying he thought I was going to do a runner. I told him that wasn’t my style and he said he knew it wasn’t. He then sat back down and finished his drink. I thought it was odd that he’d not been the the loo but guessed maybe it was some kind of weird test. Once we paid we stood up to leave and that’s when I realised that he’d actually wet himself at the table... He must have needed the loo but been too scared to go
We walked outside and then he asked me if I’d like to come and have a lay down in the park with him. It was February. And raining. I said no thanks and that I needed to get home. I walked in one direction (the opposite to him) and headed to the tube. Got to the platform and realised that he had followed me (he’d lived close to the pub we met hence him choosing it) which was weird so decided to walk to the opposite platform and again he followed. Got on the tube in the opposite direction I wanted and then at the last minute jumped off at the next stop. I just caught his expression as the tube pulled away - confused and crestfallen. I think perhaps he was hoping he could follow me all the way home.
Had been chatting to the second guy for a week or so and we’d arranged to meet for a drink on the Sunday. We lived fairly close to one another and on the Sat I’d had a bit of an all-day drinking session with my flatmate. At some point late in the day he’d texted to say he was in my local area and we ended up meeting for a drink. Honestly don’t remember much about it - I was hammered - but woke up the next day to a text saying he was hungover but still fancied meeting for the proper date.
I turned up and he was very much not what I was expecting - shorter than me (a lot of men lie about their height) and quite a bit heavier than his photos which he admitted were a little out of date. His chat was awful - just went on and on about his job, politics, money etc. I’d had enough and wanted out so texted my friend to call me so I’d have an out.
Ten mins later I get the call from my friend and went through with our usual routine “oh no, what a nightmare... Yes, I’ll come back straight away!” Told this guy I was sorry but something bad had happened - my flatmate had started a small fire in our flat - and I needed to leave. He then looked at me for about a minute and said “Sex and the City right? You don’t remember that you told me last night that if you’re on a date you hate you get your friend to pretend something bad’s happened?” Awkward! Didn’t know what to say so I sort of snorted uncomfortably and then left