Online dating, have I been ghosted or is he busy?

Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
Posting for my friend.. I’m happily married but she won’t listen to me!
So she’s been speaking to a man she met on bumble 3 weeks ago.. he was never really a quick replier but the conversation flowed well. They were also sextexting for a little bit when he went quiet. She left it a few days and then text him which he replied he’s been busy with work and due to his job in the military sounds convincing to me? ( I’m a military wife so get when they say they are busy)

Anyway she left it a few days and text him again but he’s read it and not replied. She’s deleted his number in anger as she think he’s ghosting her Although he still follows her on Instagram.......opinions?!?!?
 
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Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
Yeah that’s so true! I guess thats the thing with online dating they could be talking to anyone else and whilst meeting for a date is off the cards he can talk as much as he wants to others.
Just seems odd he was so keen to then go quiet but maybe you are right! She deleted bumble as didn’t really speak to anyone other than him but il tell her to go back to the drawing board 😂
 

Lynseyp

VIP Member
I would let him chase her now, if he's interested in her then im sure your mate will get a response. If not then she can move on, reinstall the dating app and find someone who likes her as much she likes them.
If she's persistent then that could make him back off after all its only been 3 weeks.
Things may change once lockdown is over.
 

Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
I would let him chase her now, if he's interested in her then im sure your mate will get a response. If not then she can move on, reinstall the dating app and find someone who likes her as much she likes them.
If she's persistent then that could make him back off after all its only been 3 weeks.
Things may change once lockdown is over.
Yeah definitely. Although she said she’s not interested in redownloading the app whilst in lockdown in case it happens again. ( she was also ghosted at the start of the year so think it’s made her paranoid)

I have told her to forget about him for now and maybe if he gets in touch once lockdown is over then it’s a sign they could meet for a date and see how it goes. She definitely falls easy so isolation dating is hard! I’m hoping it changes once lockdown is lifted as they did seem well suited and right for each other xx
 

Its_Me

VIP Member
So they haven’t even met? Sorry to sound judgey but I wouldn’t be sexting with a fella I hadn’t met let alone one who was slow to reply.
She’s done right deleting his number and I wouldn’t let him come around sniffing. I’m in a long term relationship and always tell my mates who are in the dating game who have these troubles that’s not what healthy relationships start out like. I’m sure yours didn’t with hubby?

Also it’s not technically ghosting if they hadn’t met x
 

Its_Me

VIP Member
My relationship started from sexting and sleeping together on the first date 👀🤷🏻‍♀️ a decade and 2 kids later, we're alright 🤣
Fair enough, I slept with my partner on first date too 🤪 we didn’t meet online though. But the fact that he was being slow to reply and stuff shows he wasn’t that keen to start with so I just wouldn’t have gone there.

Edit: it wasn’t the sexting that I was referring to when I said that’s not how relationships start I meant having to question their interest and going through feeling like you’ve been ghosted etc shes obviously upset so it’s not a good start and she deserves more than that x
 

Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
So they haven’t even met? Sorry to sound judgey but I wouldn’t be sexting with a fella I hadn’t met let alone one who was slow to reply.
She’s done right deleting his number and I wouldn’t let him come around sniffing. I’m in a long term relationship and always tell my mates who are in the dating game who have these troubles that’s not what healthy relationships start out like. I’m sure yours didn’t with hubby?

Also it’s not technically ghosting if they hadn’t met x
No they hadn’t met as it started in lockdown. They had FaceTimed though before he had to go away for work. I did feel the same as you but after reading the messages it was a two way thing and tbh it did flow well.

I actually met my husband in a nightclub, shared a kiss and then didnt hear from him. I remember being gutted but just thought ah well he’s an army man so clearly a player...

Then my friend phoned me when she was on a night out in the same club a few weeks later and said how this guy was Saying how I’d given him a wrong number.. turns out I had missed a digit 😂😂😂 anyway she gave him my number and it still took him a week to finally call me. Then I didn’t hear from him for 3 weeks.. until he called and said he was in Afghanistan. ( yes I counted)
On 23rd June we will be married for 13 years.. 2 children and he treats my eldest like his own. Obviously I have given up a lot for him being an armywife but wouldn’t have it any other way! Xx
 

Its_Me

VIP Member
No they hadn’t met as it started in lockdown. They had FaceTimed though before he had to go away for work. I did feel the same as you but after reading the messages it was a two way thing and tbh it did flow well.

I actually met my husband in a nightclub, shared a kiss and then didnt hear from him. I remember being gutted but just thought ah well he’s an army man so clearly a player...

Then my friend phoned me when she was on a night out in the same club a few weeks later and said how this guy was Saying how I’d given him a wrong number.. turns out I had missed a digit 😂😂😂 anyway she gave him my number and it still took him a week to finally call me. Then I didn’t hear from him for 3 weeks.. until he called and said he was in Afghanistan. ( yes I counted)
On 23rd June we will be married for 13 years.. 2 children and he treats my eldest like his own. Obviously I have given up a lot for him being an armywife but wouldn’t have it any other way! Xx
Ah I love that story was definitely fate and you can’t fault him if you gave him the wrong number ❤😂

I mean if he comes back with a bloody good excuse then fair enough but just saying he’d been busy wouldn’t wash with me. These guys on dating apps etc are mostly players and not worth getting yourself in a tizz for because he’s probably talking to loads of other women too x
 

Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
Ah I love that story was definitely fate and you can’t fault him if you gave him the wrong number ❤😂

I mean if he comes back with a bloody good excuse then fair enough but just saying he’d been busy wouldn’t wash with me. These guys on dating apps etc are mostly players and not worth getting yourself in a tizz for because he’s probably talking to loads of other women too x
Hahah I know 😂 yeah that’s what I said to her especially in lockdown when they are all probably bored with nothing to do! It takes 2 mins to text back and if she can see he’s been online and read it no excuse! X
 

Begborrowsteal

Chatty Member
Fair enough, I slept with my partner on first date too 🤪 we didn’t meet online though. But the fact that he was being slow to reply and stuff shows he wasn’t that keen to start with so I just wouldn’t have gone there.

Edit: it wasn’t the sexting that I was referring to when I said that’s not how relationships start I meant having to question their interest and going through feeling like you’ve been ghosted etc shes obviously upset so it’s not a good start and she deserves more than that x
We met when it was still abit cringe to meet online. There are still a lot of people who dont know the truth 😂 My parents think we met in a pub.

Agreed though. It should just flow! Fuck chasing after people!
 

Strawberry-pot

Well-known member
She’s text asking if she should block him on Instagram.. my thought is no as he will think she cares enough to do that, just get on with your life and show him what he’s missing?
But she thinks block and make him chase/worry?
 

Its_Me

VIP Member
She’s text asking if she should block him on Instagram.. my thought is no as he will think she cares enough to do that, just get on with your life and show him what he’s missing?
But she thinks block and make him chase/worry?
I agree with you, but I also wouldn’t over post or even better not post at all, then he might chase or worry. If he can constantly see what she’s doing he hasn’t got a chance to wonder.
 
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